Heart of Steele

by Randi Alexander

  “Well, fuck me.” Ryder stood and walked to the door. “You’re not getting me to swear on my mother’s grave.” His voice sounded reedy.

  “Ryder.” Steele turned to face him. “I’m sorry. I had to know.”

  Facing the door, his brother’s shoulders dropped. “I understand. But you can understand why it pisses me the fuck off.” His last words were loud and sharp.

  “Now you know where I’ve been coming from, brother.” His tone wasn’t exactly quiet. “I felt betrayed.” He pointed to Angus. “By my own father...” He took a long breath and let it out. “And by my best friend.” The words poured out and eased the ache around his heart.

  Ryder breathed fast and grabbed the door handle. “I’ve had enough for one day.”

  “Ryder.” Angus’s voice echoed off the walls.

  They both turned to look at their father.

  He pointed a finger at Ryder. “The one thing the son of a Scot never does is disrespect his father by walking out on him.”

  His brother’s jaw worked. “One thing you fail to remember. I had no father growing up. I had no siblings.” He looked at Steele, then back at Angus. “So don’t expect me to jump right aboard with all your rules.” He blinked. “Sir.”

  Angus seemed appeased. “Go then, son, but promise me one thing before you do.”

  Steele and Ryder exchanged wary looks.

  “The both of you, promise you’ll look after the ranch for me. Two weeks, starting tomorrow.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Steele walked to the end of the bed.

  Ryder took a step closer. “Two weeks?”

  The old man held up his hands. “I can’t tell you what I’ll be doing, but my doctor and I agreed today that it needs doing.”

  Steele’s brows lowered. “What is it? Cancer? Your heart?”

  “I just said, son, that I cannot tell you.” He snapped the words out, then took a breath and visibly calmed. “I can tell you it’s not life-threatening. It’s something I need to do, though.”

  Steele crossed his arms over his chest. “Does Val know about this?”

  “Och!” He made a dismissing gesture with his hand. “Your sister is against it, but she said she’d help out on the ranch...if one of my sons refused to do it.” He glared at each of them in turn.

  “You don’t scare me, old man.” Steele gave his dad a half smile. “Much.”

  Ryder snorted. “If this is how it’s gonna be, I’m reconsidering my blood connection to you, Angus, my half-crazy faither.”

  Angus’s mouth dropped open. Then a roaring laugh came out of him. He held his stomach and guffawed like he was half-mad.

  Steele chuckled until moisture filled his eyes. It was good to see his dad alive and vibrant again. The last two days had been some of the scariest of his life. “We’re all half-crazy, Ryder.” He smacked his brother on the shoulder. “So you’ll fit right in.”

  They looked at each other as if they just finally saw the resemblance, the connection, and the possibilities for their future.

  Angus was sniffing and wiping his eyes. He wasn’t... He’d only seen his father cry once. At his mother’s funeral.

  “Ah, a good laugh’ll bring out the tears in a man’s eyes.” He made the excuse, but Steele could hear emotion in his voice.

  “So you two boys will work the spread for the next two weeks, then when I get home, we’ll have a swallee or two, or maybe even get blootered.”

  Ryder let out a quick laugh. “I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing you’ll be introducing me to that Scotch, then.”

  “Aye.” Angus grinned. “Now get on with you.” He gestured to the door. “Let me have some time with my eldest boy before the nurses come and shoo him away.”

  Ryder opened the door. “Good night.” He met each of their gazes, then left.

  “Now you sit and listen while I talk.”

  Steele sat back and crossed an ankle on the opposite knee. “Talk, but then it’s my turn. You won’t be getting away without telling me what’s so all-fired important for you to be gone from the ranch for two weeks.”

  “I won’t tolerate that tone from you, boy, and neither do I have any inclination to tell you my private plans.” He gave a solid nod and picked up his cup, drinking out of a straw.

  “You sure that’s just water in there?”

  “It is right now.” His eyes twinkled. “Unless you brought your old man a wee bit of the brown liquid I love.” His father could charm a snake into dancing beneath a horses’ hooves.

  “Not until your doctor okays it.”

  Angus grumbled something inarticulate. “Well then, let’s get down to business.” He resettled on the bed. “I’ve been lax, I wanted to give you space to come to terms with this. I should have tackled it head-on.”

  “I’m not going to like this, am I.”

  “I don’t think so, but as we’ve found out, the truth is better out than in.”

  It took him a minute to figure out what he was saying. “Okay. What truth are you going to lay on me today?”

  “Son, I cheated on your mother.”

  Steele rested his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. “Is this going to be the story of your life, now?” He didn’t know if he had the strength for this. His father could regale a person for hours with his tales.

  “I’ll keep it short because I understand you have a gal waiting for you at the ranch.”

  “Please do. And her name is Tracy.”

  “I hear she’s lovely, too. And that’s what this is about, son. Women. Your mother was my first, and there was only the one other.”

  Steele looked up at him.

  “I thought that’d get your attention.” He stared off into a corner. “We knew each other in school, your mom and I, but she wouldn’t have much to do with me. I joined the glee club and took up a musical instrument just so I could sit by her in the band, and stand behind her in the church choir. I generally made a fool of myself to get her attention.

  “She dated other men.” Angus’ face pulled down into a frown. “I was working as a hand on my uncle’s ranch, and she went out with the rich ranchers’ sons. I didn’t think I had a chance until the graduation dance. I swept her off her feet with the fancy footwork taught to me by my mother.”

  He’d heard all this before. “And you were married at nineteen.”

  “Yes. Once she realized I was the one...” He leaned forward, his smile secretive. “She couldn’t wait to have me.”

  “Ah, Dad, can we skip to the part after the honeymoon?”

  Angus laughed. “We pulled together a little band, just four of us, and we’d practice in the barn until the wee hours of the morning. Once we got good enough, I acted as manager and got us on a circuit. We had a regular route we’d take, east through Texas and part of Louisiana, then back again. We did this for three weeks out of every month.”

  “Sounds like my touring schedule.”

  He dismissed him with one hand. “You’ve got it easy, with the private jet and the assistants.” He wagged an eyebrow. “But oh, the fun we had.” He shook his head.

  “After you and your sister came along, well, things changed. Your mom didn’t like leaving her babies for that long, so she’d do the local shows, but wouldn’t go into Louisiana with the band, so we hired another singer.”

  Steele waited, then the significance of those words hit him. “Ryder’s mother.”

  “Yes, Gwen Landry, but I never knew her as Landry. She used a different last name. She was a widow, trying to keep the patch of land her husband left her with. A good lady, Ryder’s mom.” He shook his head. “By the time you were three and your sister six, your mom and I were not having a happy marriage. It’d been years since we’d shared a bed.”

  “Why didn’t you divorce her?” Wasn’t that the right thing to do? Get a divorce, then find another woman?

  “We never spoke of divorce. We loved each other, but our lives grew apart.”

  �
�And Gwen was the answer for you?”

  Angus met his gaze. “It was the wrong answer, and I know that now. After a while, Gwen quit the band, then soon after, my uncle and his son died in a fire. I inherited the ranch and the band broke up. Your mother sat me down right in that kitchen at the ranch house. She said she’d love to be a farm wife, but only if I started acting like her husband again.”

  The kitchen that Val and he had asked Dad a dozen times to update. “That’s why you never changed it?”

  “Yes. Appliances broke and were replaced, but the room has stayed nearly the same. It was a reminder to myself that your mother had given me another chance, and I’d be a fool to ever forget it.”

  “Did she know about Gwen?”

  “I don’t think she did, son, but I don’t know.”

  He stood and paced to the window. “That’s what bothered me most about this whole thing. The way you betrayed Mom.”

  “I have no excuse. I’m sorry for what I did, but I’m more sorry that you and Ryder didn’t have a childhood together.”

  Steele pressed his hand against the cool window glass. “Maybe that’s what Gwen was afraid of. That you’d take Ryder from her.”

  “Could be, could be. As I think on it now, I wonder if she wanted a child of her own, since her husband couldn’t give her one.” He yawned.

  “I think we’ve talked enough for one night. I’ll get out of here so you can get your rest.”

  “Sit one more moment, Steele.”

  He moved the chair closer to his dad and sat.

  “Val tells me you’ve got a good woman now, and I trust that you wouldn’t bring her home to the ranch if she wasn’t important to you. Keep her. Treat her right. Stay faithful to her, and if things aren’t working out, don’t run to another woman. Be true to her.”

  Angus closed his eyes. “My greatest regret in life is trying to fill my lonely bed with a woman I didn’t love.”

  With one quick apology, his dad had diffused the anger that had driven Steele for too long. It gave him a clear vision of where he wanted his relationship with Tracy to go.

  Angus started snoring softly.

  Steele stood. He should stop and see Val, see what the hell was going on with Angus and his two-week furlough. Instead, he pulled out his phone and dialed her number as he left the hospital. “Val, where’s he going?”

  He needed to get home. His gut told him something was not right.

  Chapter Twenty

  Tracy woke in the guest bedroom as Steele climbed in next to her. “Hi.”

  He kissed her. “Hi.”

  “How’s your dad?”

  Steele settled on his back and pulled her to lay half on top of him. “He’s good. He’s going away for a couple weeks, and asked me to watch the ranch.”

  “Mm hm.” She wouldn’t be here. Her flight to Montana left at eleven the next morning, and the ride she’d arranged through Val would be here at seven. She had only a few hours left with Steele.

  He shifted his body so his erection pressed along her hip.

  She’d love to ride him one last time, taste his salty cum, let him coax an orgasm from her. That would be using him, though, and something she would never do. “Turn over.”

  “Huh?” He cupped her ass and thrust his hips, sliding his cock along her skin.

  “Turn over and I’ll rub your back. You seem tense.”

  “I know a better way of relieving my tension.” He kissed her neck and nibbled her earlobe.

  She just couldn’t take advantage of him like that, and she didn’t want to tell him she was leaving yet. “Let me do this for you.” She pushed back, out of his hold, and waited.

  Even in the low light, she could see his frown. “All right, your way first.” He flopped onto his stomach, his hands under his head. “Then I get my way.”

  Tracy reached for her lotion and warmed some in her hands. He had to be exhausted. He’d barely had three hours sleep the night before. She rubbed her palms over the broad expanse of his shoulders, down his strong back, and just under the waistband of his briefs.

  She hated to do this to him, hated to just leave, but neither of them was ready for a relationship. That’s what she kept telling herself, anyway. The truth was, if he came out and admitted he had a brother, took her into his confidence, she’d cancel her travel plans and work out her brother’s housing plans long-distance.

  He groaned and shifted. “Feels good, sugar.”

  She added more warm lotion and softened her strokes. He’d be asleep in minutes. She, however, would probably not get another second of rest.

  ****

  At six, she inched out of bed, leaving Steele sound asleep, still on his stomach. After she showered and dressed, she took her bags downstairs and set them by the front door. She paced the kitchen for a few minutes, looking for some courage, but her ride would be here any time. She had to do this now.

  Running up the steps before her nerve failed her, she burst into the guest bedroom. “Steele.”

  He sat up, blinking. “What is it?” His bare chest rose and fell quickly.

  “Nothing urgent.” She sat at the end of the bed, partially facing him. “I need to leave. In about fifteen minutes.”

  He rubbed a fist in one eye. “Why? Where are you going?”

  There was no way she was going to reveal her family skeletons. She’d decided yesterday to lie. “I’ve got a screen test tomorrow. I’m heading home.”

  “Home?” His brows dropped. “To LA?”

  “Yes.” She had to look away. “I didn’t want to tell you last night because you looked like you needed sleep.”

  “Damn it, Tracy, what is this about?”

  She stood. “It’s about me leaving.” She gestured toward the window. “Val’s sister-in-law lives close by. She’s going to give me a ride to the airport on her way to work.”

  “Hold on.” He threw back the covers and got to his feet.

  Two hundred and thirty pounds of macho male in a tight pair of black briefs stormed toward her. “You’re going to Montana, aren’t you?”

  Shock gripped her, and before she could brace herself, her mouth dropped open.

  He watched her face. “I heard you on the phone yesterday. You’re not going to LA. Why are you lying to me? What are you hiding in Montana?”

  Tracy propped her hands on her hips. “Why did you listen in on my private conversation?”

  Steele’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll admit it. I have trust issues, okay? But you can see why.” He gripped her upper arm. “Is there a man there? Is there someone else, Tracy?”

  Tugging out of his grip, she looked out the window. “It’s family business. I don’t want to discuss it with you.”

  “Someone’s getting out of prison. Who is it?”

  A wave of panic dizzied her. “This is why I lied to you, Steele.” She looked into his dark, angry eyes. “Because I knew you wouldn’t just let me go and do what I needed to do. You’d want to go with me, arrange everything yourself, take over for me like I was someone you need to protect. But I’m not.” She lifted a hand to touch him, but dropped it instead. “I’m capable of doing this alone.”

  He ran a hand down his face. “Just wait a while. Let’s talk this out. I won’t try to run your life, but I don’t want you to leave like this.”

  This was the opportunity she’d been looking for. “What would you do to get me to stay?”

  “What?” He scowled. “What the hell do you mean?”

  “I’ll stay, Steele, if you tell me your secret.”

  A horn honked in the yard. Her ride was here.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” He growled. “I could sit you down and tell you a thousand things about myself that no one knows.”

  She stepped closer and stared into his eyes. “I want your biggest secret. The one that makes you so angry that you yell at your employees, shout at other musicians, and tell your dad, over the phone, not to have any more bastards.”

  His jaw clenched and hi
s gaze burned into hers. “What do you know?”

  “Tell me, Steele. I’m right here, and you can trust me.” She prayed he’d take that first step and just say the word Ryder.

  He stood for nearly a minute, his breathing growing faster. Then he turned his back on her.

  The adrenaline from the last few minutes rushed out of her and she thought she’d be sick on the carpet.

  The horn honked again.

  “Goodbye, Steele. I’ll miss you.” She forced her numb legs to walk from the room, along the hallway, down the steps, and out the door. Thank God someone else was driving. Her whole body shook like a paint mixer.

  As Val’s sister-in-law drove her pickup away from the ranch, Tracy forced her eyes away from the side mirror. She’d known this was temporary, even when she’d invited Steele into the bathtub with her at his cabin. She’d hoped, though...

  No more pretending. Biting her lower lip, she held back emotions she didn’t realize she possessed. This had been her first experience with love—from head over heels to rejected and hopeless in less than a week.

  Next time a director asked her to cry in a scene, she had the perfect motivation

  ****

  Steele watched the pickup drive away, keeping an eye on it until it was only a dust cloud on the gravel road. He would have only had to say a few words about his brother to get her to stay. Hell, he’d planned to tell her everything this week anyway.

  But she’d lied to him, and that ate at his soul. His phone rang in his bedroom, where he’d undressed last night. “Fuck it.”

  “Shit.” His dad was having his stress test this morning. And maybe Tracy... He jogged through the bathroom to his dresser. Dalton, his architect. He’d texted him on his way home last night.

  “Hey, Dalton.”

  “You’re finally ready to start that project? I’ve already sent the materials list to the mill, and contacted the general contractor.”

  “Hang on a minute. I didn’t mean to get you all fired up about this.”

  He cleared his throat. “Steele, I printed out your text message. ‘Start the house project tomorrow morning. Need it done in two months.’ That was from your fingers, wasn’t it? Or was that a drunk text?” He laughed.