Edge of the Past

by Jennifer Comeaux

  “Everything going okay here?” he asked.

  I thought about Elena’s concern over our sleeping arrangements but wasn’t going to mention that conversation. “Yeah. They’re just getting settled in.”

  After we all helped ourselves to salad and slices of the veggie pizza, we had the awkward moment of choosing seats at the table. I shuffled around Sergei so he could sit at the head, closer to Liza. Elena sat next to her, and I almost had to laugh at how surreal the whole scene was.

  Sergei cleared his throat. “Liza, would you like to skate at the rink tomorrow?”

  She lifted her eyes from staring at her pizza. “Yes, sir,” she said quietly.

  “Our rink’s pretty cool, huh?” Aubrey said.

  Liza nodded, a smile appearing on her lips. Beside her, Elena took the tiniest bites of pizza I’d ever seen. A bird could make a bigger dent.

  “Maybe after skating we can show you more of the Cape,” Sergei said. “Em, do you have anything going on tomorrow evening?”

  “No, I’m free. Chris and I had a phone interview, but it got postponed until next week.”

  “You not take Liza without me,” Elena said sharply.

  Sergei set down his fork. “I wasn’t planning to. I meant the invitation for both of you.”

  Oh, fun. I ripped off a piece of my pizza crust and shoved it into my mouth.

  “We see how Liza feel after skating,” she replied.

  “I’d like to go,” Liza said.

  Elena pushed her silky hair behind one ear and took a miniscule sip of water. “Then I guess we go.”

  Liza could ask for a horse, six dogs, and a lifetime supply of chocolate, and Elena would probably give it to her. That was how desperate she seemed to get back in the child’s good graces.

  “We can drive out to Brewster,” Sergei said. “It’s a little town not far from the rink, and there are some good places to eat. Do you like seafood, Liza?”

  “She is allergic,” Elena quickly replied.

  “Oh. Well, that’s good to know.”

  “There is much you not know about her,” Elena said.

  “And I hope to change that,” Sergei said.

  Liza had dropped her head again and was picking at the black olives and artichokes on her pizza. I hated when my parents would talk about me as if I wasn’t in the room.

  “There’s a really cool sweet shop in Brewster, too. I bet you’re not allergic to candy,” I said with a smile.

  Liza’s blue eyes met mine, and she chewed on her lip. “I’m not allowed to have too much candy.”

  I leaned my elbows on the table and angled toward her. “Yeah, neither am I, but we all need a treat every now and then.”

  She gave me the shy smile Aubrey had received earlier. I caught a glimpse of Elena as I sat back, and the sour look on her face had deepened.

  During the meal, we gleaned more bits of information about Liza – she loved to swim, she’d once had a goldfish named Goldie, and much to Sergei’s delight, his daughter was an avid reader. “She always have book with her,” Elena said.

  “What’s your favorite story?” Sergei asked.

  Liza chewed hurriedly, appearing very excited to answer once she finished. “The Secret Garden. It’s so good.”

  Sergei smiled. “What’s it about?”

  “It’s about this girl, Mary, who goes to live with her uncle in England, and she finds a secret garden at his house that’s been locked for years. She and this boy, Dickon, fix up the garden, and then she finds out another secret when she meets her cousin…”

  Liza couldn’t talk fast enough as she spilled out more of the story. I hadn’t heard her speak that many words since I’d met her. Sergei wore the biggest grin, and the more questions he asked about the book, the quicker Liza’s answers came.

  It didn’t look like Elena was going to finish her dinner, so I started clearing the dishes. She and Aubrey carried some of the plates to the kitchen with me while Sergei chatted with Liza about skating.

  I dumped the dirty utensils into the sink and turned to Elena. “We could’ve ordered something else if you don’t like pizza.”

  “I am not hungry.” She dumped the remnants of her meal into the trash can and looked at my empty plate. “You eat very much for skater.”

  Aubrey was behind Elena, and she gave me a look that said, Oh, no she didn’t! I pressed my lips together and chose my words carefully.

  “Do you know how many calories I burn every day?”

  “I do not eat so much when I skate,” she said.

  Since when were salad and two slices of pizza a ginormous meal?

  “I grew up in a family of Italian women. Not enjoying food is considered blasphemy.” I picked up a sponge from the sink. “I hope you’re not encouraging Liza to follow your eating habits.”

  “How I raise my daughter is not your concern.”

  “She’ll be my stepdaughter soon, so I think it is my concern.”

  Whoa, where did that come from? When did I become all motherly? Aubrey was watching me with wonder as she tended to the leftover salad.

  Elena slid closer to me, and being the same height, we stood eye to eye. “I do not know what idea you and Sergei have in your head, but Liza always stay with me. This is only visit, and she return to Russia with me.”

  “No one is saying any different. We don’t have any secret plans to keep Liza here.” I said that, but with the unpredictable way Sergei had been acting lately, I couldn’t vouch for his thoughts on the matter.

  “That is good,” Elena said. “Russia is her home, and I do not want you to make her think otherwise.”

  “I just want her to feel comfortable here. That’s it.”

  Elena gave me one final pointed stare before going out to the breakfast area. Aubrey joined me in front of the sink and turned on the dishwasher.

  “Didn’t take long for the claws to come out, did it?” she said.

  “I still can’t get over the comments about what I ate. Who says something like that when you’re a guest in their home?”

  “It’s called having no tact.”

  “I call it incredibly rude,” I said.

  “From what I’ve seen of Liza, her parents taught her much better manners,” Aubrey said.

  I rinsed the forks and handed them to Aubrey. “Thank goodness.”

  As we worked on the dishes, I kept glancing up to see what was happening at the table. Sergei was moving his arms like he did when he showed jumping technique to Chris and me. Liza watched him intently, and Elena stood next to her chair. Seeing the three of them together brought back that jealous pulse, throbbing harder now. No matter how many children Sergei and I would have together, I’d never be able to give him his first child.

  “Em? Earth to Em?”

  I looked at Aubrey, who had her hand held out to me. “You’ve been rinsing that plate for five minutes,” she said.

  “Sorry.” I handed her the dish.

  “I wonder if Elena was different when she was younger,” Aubrey said. “She’s kinda prissy. Not really Sergei’s type.”

  “You know how little he’s told me about when they dated. And after being in Moscow and seeing all the places they used to be together, I’m not sure I want to hear any more.”

  We finished loading the dishwasher, and Aubrey went upstairs while I moved slowly toward the threesome at the table. Elena smoothed Liza’s long hair and said, “Time to ready for bed. You need good rest to skate tomorrow.”

  Liza inched out of Elena’s touch and rose from her chair. Sergei stood, too, looking unsure of what to do or say. He finally took the stance of resting his hand on the back of his chair.

  “I’m looking forward to seeing you skate,” he said. “I’ll be glad to help you if you need anything. I have time between lessons.”

  Liza nodded with a smile. “Okay.”

  “Goodnight,” Elena said, her eyes lingering on Sergei before she ushered Liza to the stairs.

  I went over to Sergei and
gave him a hug, which he returned with an even firmer hold.

  “That went pretty well,” he said.

  I hummed in agreement. “You got Liza talking.”

  Sergei pulled his head back but kept his arms tight around my waist. “I can’t say ‘thank you’ enough for everything you’re doing.”

  I arched my neck to look straight into his eyes. “Then why don’t you show me how thankful you are?”

  He bent his head, and our lips met, sweet and light at first, then fuller and hungrier. Sergei’s hands slid down into the back pockets of my jeans, pressing me against his body. I clung to his shoulders and stood on the toes of my flats, giving me deeper reach into his mouth. The electric heat from his lips, his breath, his touch lit me up all over.

  “Excuse me.”

  We broke apart, and Elena took a step into the room, arms folded. Sergei turned slightly toward the sliding glass door, opposite of the stairs. He was inhaling and exhaling long and hard.

  “Where do we keep laundry?” Elena asked.

  “Oh, umm…” I swallowed to catch my breath. “You can just leave it in your bathroom for now. I’ll get you a hamper and show you the washing machine tomorrow.”

  “Thank you.” She hesitated a moment. “Goodnight.”

  I watched her leave and then curled my arms around Sergei’s neck. “I believe you owe me a few more thanks.”

  He splayed his fingers around my waist and kissed me again but not as deep as before. After a minute, he moved his lips to my forehead and said, “Why don’t we save some for tomorrow? You must be tired.”

  I loosened my hold on him. He’d sure gone from hot to cold quickly. Jet lag hadn’t been a concern five minutes ago when he was devouring my mouth.

  “I don’t think she’s coming back down here,” I said.

  “No, that’s not… I just figured you’d want to get some sleep. You’ve had a lot going on today.”

  I wasn’t convinced, but getting into a big discussion was something I was too tired for.

  “Okay.” I reached up and gave Sergei a tiny kiss. “I’ll walk you out.”

  After I saw him to the door, I returned to the kitchen for a drink of water and to shut off the lights. As I made my way up the steps, Liza emerged from the guest bedroom in her pink pajamas, her arms wrapped around a pillow and a sandy brown teddy bear. Elena was right behind her.

  “Liza, you sleep in here. This is–” She saw me and stopped.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” Elena said. “We are fine.”

  “I wanna sleep by myself,” Liza mumbled against her pillow.

  Elena glared at me wearily, and I wound my hands together, twisting my engagement ring around and around. “I wish I had another room for you, but this is the only extra bed.”

  “I can sleep on the sofa,” Liza said.

  “There is no reason. This bed is big for us both,” Elena said.

  “Can I sleep on the sofa?” Liza asked me.

  The last thing I wanted was to get in the middle of their mother-daughter drama, but the kid was looking at me for an answer.

  “You can sleep wherever you’re most comfortable. I’ll get you a blanket for the couch.”

  I blew past them and up to the linen closet in the living room. Liza padded after me, but Elena stayed at the bottom of the stairs. Grabbing a fuzzy blue blanket from the top shelf, I unfolded it and spread it over the end of the couch.

  “You’re sure you want to sleep in here alone?” I asked.

  Liza nodded and got settled under the blanket. Elena still hadn’t made an appearance, so I guessed she was going to let Liza win this battle.

  “I’ll leave this on so you’ll have a little light,” I said, tapping the shade of the tall lamp in the corner. “If you need me, I’m on the top floor, okay?”

  She nodded again. I smiled at her and then took the stairs up to my room. Once inside, I sprawled across the bed and just lay there listening to the wind swishing through the trees outside my window. My body ached with exhaustion, but somehow my brain felt wide awake.

  Dragging myself up, I went through all my nightly getting-ready-for-bed rituals. As I climbed under the thick burgundy comforter, I snagged my favorite bedtime reading from the nightstand and set the book in my lap.

  Titled Lyrics, the book contained all of Sting’s and The Police’s songs. I’d given it to Sergei two years ago for Christmas because we both loved Sting’s music, but the book spent more time in my possession. Sergei had written notes to me next to some of the songs, and I loved reading his words before I went to sleep.

  I flipped the book open to a random spot and thumbed through until I found a page with markings. The song was “I Burn For You,” and Sergei had written – The title says it all.

  I touched my lips, remembering the fire in Sergei’s kiss earlier. A soft knock on the door startled me and took me away from my thoughts.

  “Come in,” I called.

  The door opened slowly, and Liza and her teddy bear peeked inside. “Hey.” I closed the book. “Do you need something?”

  “There’s a noise on the window. It won’t stop.”

  “Oh, that’s the big tree next to the house. The branches always hit the window when it’s windy.”

  She stared at me, not looking appeased by my explanation. Her lack of movement from the doorway also showed her reluctance to return downstairs.

  “I guess it sounds pretty scary, doesn’t it?” I said.

  Her head bobbed, and she clutched the bear tighter. I looked at the empty space beside me in the double bed. Elena wouldn’t be happy with my idea, but I didn’t want to wake her and make a big production out of this.

  “Do you want to sleep in here tonight?” I asked.

  Liza shut the door and was in the bed before I had time to fold down the comforter for her. “I have lots of pillows,” I said, fluffing one of my extras for her.

  She curled up under the covers and held her bear to her chest. Close up, I noticed his fur was pretty matted. He’d obviously been around a while.

  “What’s your teddy’s name?” I asked.

  “Peter.”

  “That’s cool. I’ve heard of lots of rabbits named Peter but no bears.”

  “It was my dad’s name. He gave him to me so I wouldn’t miss him as much when he was on a business trip.”

  “Sounds like he’s a very special bear, then.”

  Liza was quiet as she rubbed the brown fur with her thumb. I put my book on the nightstand and said, “I used to sleep with a teddy bear, too. His name was Ted. Not very original, I bet you’re thinking, but it was for Ted Williams, who played baseball for the Red Sox. My dad’s a big fan.”

  Liza blinked a few times. “You’re really nice.”

  My voice stuck in my throat, and I took a swallow. “So are you. I’m glad you’re here.”

  Her face shined with a smile, and my heart turned all gooey. No, no, no. You can’t get too attached, I quickly reminded myself. No matter how adorable Liza was with her little Sergei replica eyes. She wasn’t staying, and even if she was, she was part of a package deal that included Elena – one person I would definitely never feel attached to.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Liza!”

  My eyes flew open at the shriek of Elena’s voice. The light in my bedroom had been turned on, and Elena was flying toward the opposite side of the bed. Liza let go of her teddy bear and rubbed her eyes.

  “I check on you and you are not there,” Elena cried. “I think you run away.”

  I sat up and brushed my tangled hair away from my face. “She heard a noise and got scared, so I let her sleep here.”

  “You should tell me.”

  “It wasn’t a big deal, and I didn’t want to wake you. I didn’t think you were going to freak out about it.”

  “How you feel if you wake up in strange place and cannot find your daughter?” Elena became more high-pitched with each word. “Liza, you come to me if yo
u are scared.”

  Liza’s face crumpled, and she jumped out of the bed with her bear and tore out of the room. I threw aside the comforter.

  “Getting all worked up isn’t helping,” I said.

  “You know because you are expert? You do not have child.”

  “And you’ve been a mother all of what, five minutes? I don’t think that makes you an expert either.”

  Elena’s dark eyes burned with simmering anger. “I take care of my daughter. She do not need you.”

  Was I really arguing with Elena in the middle of the night? What time was it anyway? I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, and it read four thirty. My alarm was set to ring in an hour.

  “I’m not going to apologize for helping Liza,” I said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to sleep.”

  Elena flashed one more glare before she swished out of the room in her silky pajamas. I shut off the light, but the darkness couldn’t lull me to sleep. No matter how hard I tried to drift away, Elena and Liza kept my mind buzzing.

  I was still awake when the clock radio clicked on with a haunting piano tune. I lay still, listening to the piece, its melancholy notes speaking to me. As soon as it was over, I went to my laptop on the desk and pulled up the radio station’s website for the playlist. The song shown for five thirty a.m. was “The Crisis.”

  No wonder I felt emotionally connected to it.

  I noted the composer, Ennio Morricone, so I could download the piece later. In the meantime, I needed to get ready for the rink.

  I didn’t know what I was going to find in the living room as I descended the stairs, but Liza’s blanket was neatly folded, and her pillow and bear sat on the edge of the sofa. I continued down to the kitchen, where Elena was looking in the refrigerator and Liza was perched on one of the tall stools next to the bar. Both were dressed, and Elena’s make-up was impeccably done as always.

  “Good morning,” I said, zipping my fleece jacket.

  “I look for juice for Liza,” Elena said.

  “It’s in the door.” I pointed to the carton on the bottom shelf. “We can go to the store later so you can buy whatever you need.” I might be providing lodging, but feeding a family wasn’t part of my budget.

  Breakfast passed quietly with no mention of Elena’s hysterics in my bedroom. As we were heading out, Aubrey came down in her warm-up gear, lagging behind us since the ice dancers had a later session than the pairs and freestyle skaters.