Edge of the Past

by Jennifer Comeaux

  “I love your program,” she said. “You have some really cool moves.”

  “I thought I’d play around with some things I don’t get to do with Chris.”

  “Can you teach me how to do that spiral when you’re in a split?”

  “The Charlotte? Sure. Can you do a back spiral well?”

  “Uh-huh,” Liza answered quickly and bobbed her head up and down.

  “Well, you balance your weight the same, on the ball of your foot, and you have to make sure your balance doesn’t shift forward when you move into the split position.”

  “Got it.”

  I performed the move slowly and explained each step before I let her try the split while stationary. When she’d demonstrated her ability to balance, I gave her the okay to try the move in motion.

  Liza was off and gliding before I could say another word. I chased after her and circled around as she worked up speed and skated in reverse into a regular back spiral, extending her left leg above her hip. She leaned forward and lifted her leg higher, stretching almost into a complete split. I raised my hands to applaud but froze when Liza’s momentum took her too far forward. Her stomach struck the ice first, followed by her chin. She lay sprawled on the cold surface, gasping for air.

  My heart leapt into my throat, and I sprinted over to Liza like a speed skater, kicking up a shower of ice when I braked beside her. Kneeling next to Liza’s head, I slid my hand under her chin, and warm, sticky liquid touched my cold fingers. She was bleeding.

  I put my other hand on her back as her breathing slowly returned to a normal pace. “Is anything besides your chin hurt?”

  She gave me a slight head shake. Meanwhile, Sergei had made a quick shuffle across the ice in his loafers. He squatted on Liza’s other side and caressed her hair.

  “Can you sit up?” he asked, taking one of her tiny hands.

  I kept my fingers cupped under Liza’s chin as she rose to her knees, while Sergei reached inside his jacket pocket and extracted a packet of tissues. I pressed one to Liza’s wound and she winced.

  “Let’s see how bad the cut is.” Sergei peeked under the tissue as Liza tilted her head back, revealing a ragged gash. “Doesn’t look too bad. Might need just a few stitches.”

  I recognized the tone of voice he used. It was his I’m-worried-but-I’m-not-going-to-let-the-kid-know tone that he used when one of his students took a bad spill. And in this instance, he sounded like he was trying extra hard to cover up his emotions.

  “Liza!” Elena ran up to the boards, out of breath. “I watch upstairs. You are hurt?”

  “I’m okay,” she said in a small, shaky voice but her eyes watered with tears.

  Elena walked along the boards and reached out to Liza as soon as we stepped off the ice. “So much blood,” she cried, nudging herself between Liza and me.

  “She’ll probably need just a couple of stitches,” Sergei said.

  Elena zeroed her eyes on me. “Why you teach her that move? She have trouble with back spiral.”

  I glanced at Liza, and she looked down at the concrete floor. “I asked her if she could do it well, and she said yes.”

  “And you do not make her show you? Of course she tell you yes. She want to do everything you do.”

  The freedom I’d enjoyed on the ice minutes earlier evaporated, and all the negative feelings twisted together again in my stomach. I backed further away from Elena, seeking space to breathe.

  “It was an accident,” Sergei said.

  “Accident which should not happen,” Elena snapped.

  Liza sniffled as she kept her head down. Sergei pulled out a fresh tissue and held it to Liza’s chin while he glared at Elena. “We should get to the hospital. Em, can you handle Court and Mark’s lesson?”

  “Sure,” I mumbled.

  The three of them left the rink, and I dropped onto the first row of bleachers. With my head bent, I heard the click-clack of Courtney’s skate guards before I saw her.

  “Is Liza okay?”

  She sat next to me, and I straightened up. My eyes drifted to the spot on the ice where Liza had fallen. “She might need stitches.”

  “Ick.” Courtney leaned over to retie her laces. “Are you still gonna have her birthday party tomorrow?”

  “I would think so. Of course, her mother might have other ideas,” I muttered.

  “I got her this really cute beach bag,” Courtney rattled on. “Since she’ll probably be here for summer.”

  I jerked my head to face her. “Where’d you hear that?”

  Courtney hesitated at the sharp tone of my question. “Liza said she heard Elena and Sergei talking about it. She said Sergei wants her and Elena to move here.”

  Oh, man. Liza wasn’t supposed to hear that conversation. “I don’t think Elena’s made a decision yet.”

  “Well, I got the feeling Liza thinks it’s happening for sure,” Courtney said.

  I looked at my palms and realized they still held traces of blood. After a quick search for my skate guards, I excused myself and walked carefully in my boots to the restroom.

  While washing my hands, I glanced at myself in the mirror and sighed. I was so tired of seeing the weary, worried look in my eyes.

  A piece of Sergei’s heart belonged to Liza now, and he wasn’t going to let Elena keep her in Russia without a fight. If I kept focusing on the negatives of the situation, I’d just make myself unhappier. I had to believe that Sergei and I would come through this stronger, just like we had after every storm we weathered. There were two options before me – I could continue to stress over the changes in my life or I could accept them and try to be the best stepmom possible.

  The hot water stung my skin, and I rubbed my hands together, scrubbing them clean. It was time for a fresh outlook.

  ****

  I placed my phone in my purse and turned to Aubrey. “Liza had to get five stitches, and she also has a mild concussion.”

  “Oh, no.” Aubrey pulled open the door to the Cape Cod Mall. “I thought she just cut her chin.”

  “Her head started hurting, so they checked it out.” My shoulders slumped as I followed Aubrey inside. “I never should’ve tried to teach her that move.”

  “She said she could do the spiral.”

  “I know, but…” I stopped at the entrance to the department store. “I shouldn’t have taken her word for it.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t let Elena get into your head.”

  “I just feel so bad. Now Liza has to stay off the ice for a week, and she won’t be able to practice for the show.”

  “Then we’ll have to make her party extra fun.” Aubrey linked her arm through mine. “First on the list – some fabulous gifts.”

  We snaked through the store to the children’s section and flipped through the racks of tiny T-shirts, skirts, and dresses. Aubrey eyed a purple ruffled skirt. “What’s her favorite color?”

  “Pink,” I said, swiveling toward the display of bathing suits. “Courtney said she bought Liza a beach bag. What if I got her a suit? She could use it if she’s here this summer.”

  “Is that definitely happening?”

  I picked up a one-piece with three red hearts sewn together on the front. Running my fingers over the glittery design, I said, “It would mean the world to Sergei, so I’ve decided I’m going to try to make the best of the situation.”

  “I doubt Elena will have the same attitude,” Aubrey said. “She’s all about the drama.”

  “Is she? I hadn’t noticed,” I said dryly.

  “Sergei owes you the most spectacular present ever. Something very sparkly.”

  I didn’t want anything sparkly. I wanted normalcy. Remember your new attitude – adapt to the changes.

  I turned back to the racks and held up a pink polka-dotted bikini. “How cute is this?”

  “Oh, you have to get that.” Aubrey grinned with approval. “And we can find some pink sunglasses to match.”

  I laughed. “She’ll be a l
ittle fashionista.”

  After we found a pair of sunglasses and had the two items gift-wrapped, we swung by the bookstore and picked up a couple of new mysteries I thought Liza might like. Sergei’s SUV was parked at my house when Aubrey and I returned, but only Liza was in the living room, reclined on the sofa and watching a cartoon on TV.

  Aubrey reached for my shopping bags. “I’ll take these upstairs.”

  “How’re you feeling?” I sat beside Liza. “Sergei said you have a concussion.”

  “My headache’s better.” She lowered her gaze to the blanket covering her legs. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. I wish you would’ve told me you weren’t totally comfortable with the spiral.”

  “I can do it!” She lifted her head. “I was just going too fast.”

  I spread my arm across the back of the couch and gave Liza a smile. “It’s okay if you’re still working on it. Once it gets really strong, I can show you the Charlotte again.”

  Liza bit her lip and slid her knees up to her chest. “Elena said I can’t ask you for help with skating anymore.”

  Heat tinged my face. Elena’s reaction wasn’t shocking, but it still disappointed me. A snarky response sat on the end of my tongue, and I ground my teeth together. I couldn’t say anything to Liza. Make the best of the situation, I reminded myself.

  “Maybe she’ll change her mind. She was just really scared when you got hurt.” I looked toward the stairs. “Do you know where she and Sergei are?”

  “They went upstairs. They said they’d be back in a minute.”

  Elena was probably trashing my coaching ability to Sergei. I stood and straightened the folds of Liza’s blanket. “Do you need anything? More juice?” I pointed to the half-empty glass on the coffee table.

  “I’m okay.”

  On my way up the stairs, I continued to remind myself to keep cool and collected. Then I reached the top floor and saw Sergei and Elena outside on the terrace. I squeezed my fingers around the handle of the glass door but didn’t move. It was bad enough seeing them alone in a special spot of Sergei’s and mine, but they were also standing closer together than necessary. Elena’s face was tilted upward as she listened to Sergei speak. He had her rapt attention.

  I shoved the door open, and Sergei and Elena both turned in my direction. With a purposeful stride, I went toward Sergei, curled my arm around his waist, and planted a kiss near the corner of his mouth.

  “Liza seems good,” I said, keeping my eyes on him.

  “Yeah, she–“

  “A hurt chin and concussion is not good,” Elena said, cutting off Sergei.

  I couldn’t look at her because if I did, I was only going to say something that would play into her drama.

  Sergei cleared his throat. “She handled everything so well. The doctor said she was an excellent patient.”

  “Emily, I make clear to Liza you not teach her anything at rink ever again,” Elena said.

  Slowly, I cast my eyes on her. “She told me. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Can you go down and check on her?” Sergei asked Elena.

  She left without another word, and when Sergei and I were alone, I moved away from his side to the edge of the terrace. “You don’t agree with her, do you? About me helping Liza?”

  “No, absolutely not. I trust you with Liza on the ice any time.”

  “Did you tell Elena that? Is that what you were talking about?”

  Sergei joined me along the patio railing. “She knows how I feel.”

  I shifted to face the bay. The fading daylight made the water a dark shade of blue, and gray clouds blocked any shine from the moon. That time of year, the beach sat silent and untouched – no evening barbecues or couples spread out on blankets. I liked the quietness. I longed for more of it.

  Turning to Sergei, I said, “I’m trying my hardest to make this work.”

  He eased me into his arms and rested his forehead against mine. “I know, and I love you so much for it.”

  I pulled Sergei closer, pressing my cheek to his chest. He wrapped his arms snug around me, and I held on tight to the moment of peaceful solitude. Lately, those moments were too few and too far between.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I tied the last of the pink balloons to the banister and scooted down the stairs. The sweet, sugary smell of birthday cake overpowered the kitchen and adjacent den. Elena fussed with the favors on the table, rearranging the miniature gift bags I’d set out earlier. Of course, she wanted them her way.

  I opened a pack of napkins that matched the pink and white cake and placed them on the table in the middle of Elena’s shuffling. She stopped maneuvering for a moment and said, “Thank you for giving Liza’s party here.”

  Since she’d spoken only a few words to me since Liza’s accident, Elena’s cordial tone shocked me. “You’re welcome,” I sputtered.

  Elena stepped back from the table and appraised the new setup. “She not have good birthday last year. My cousins pass away one week before.”

  “Oh, wow,” I whispered. “I didn’t realize it happened so close to her birthday.”

  “I want this to be happy night for her.”

  “Definitely.” I nodded. Were we actually having a civil conversation? I should try to engage Elena further and warm the Arctic air between us.

  “Liza seems to be very resilient,” I said. “You obviously did a great job helping her deal with her grief.”

  Elena smoothed a tiny wrinkle in the paper tablecloth. “She cry every night for months and months. I do not know what I do for her. She love to read, so I buy her The Secret Garden book and we read together every night. It help take her mind away, and she finally sleep better.”

  I felt a hint of warmth as Elena spoke softly and not in the rigid manner I’d grown accustomed to hearing. I had to latch onto it and keep her talking.

  “I read that book when I was young,” I said. “Since the little girl in the story lost her parents, too, I can see why Liza would feel connected to it.”

  “I read it with her to help her see life get better. I think she understand.”

  Sergei and Liza came down from the living room, breaking up the strangely thoughtful chat. Elena took to fussing with Liza’s hair while Liza chattered about her party guests. Her normally long, straight locks had been curled into bouncy waves, held away from her face with a pale pink headband. She was fidgeting with excitement, and I thought about how awful her last birthday must’ve been. I hoped the fun she’d have today would make those memories fade.

  “Emily, can you take photo of three of us and cake?” Elena asked as she retrieved her camera from the bar.

  I swallowed the sourness in my throat. You have to get used to this. With a smile, I accepted the camera from Elena.

  Sergei brushed his hand over the small of my back and took a few uncertain steps to the table. Liza and Elena also moved into place behind the cake with Liza awkwardly positioning herself between her parents.

  I raised the small digital camera and framed the three of them on the screen. Now all smiling, they looked like the perfect family – two gorgeous parents and their beautiful daughter who’d inherited their most striking features.

  My finger shook as I snapped the photo, creating the family’s first portrait. I quickly handed the camera to Elena, and Liza asked, “Can I get one with Emily?”

  Elena’s smile disappeared, but she complied. The doorbell rang, and Sergei jogged up the stairs while Liza and I posed with one arm around each other. Sergei made several trips to the door during the next twenty minutes as the guests arrived – a few girls who’d befriended Liza at the rink plus Courtney, Chris, and Marley. A pile of colorful gift bags and shiny wrapped boxes formed in the corner of the den.

  Liza and the other girls sat on the rug in the den with jewelry-making kits, crafting necklaces and bracelets, while my friends and I gathered in the kitchen. Elena hovered near the girls, and Sergei kept busy in the den, fi
xing a problem with his camera.

  Chris grabbed a carrot stick from the snack tray on the bar and bumped my arm. “When are we gonna play Pin the Tail on the Donkey or Red Light/Green Light?”

  I laughed. “Liza’s nine, not five.”

  “That jewelry kit looks like fun,” Marley said. “I need to get one of those.”

  “You can squeeze in there with the kids if you want.” I smiled.

  “I might do that.” She laughed and hopped off her stool.

  Chris stole Marley’s seat and rested his elbow on the bar. “So, you’re gonna be a stepmom to a teenager in a few years.”

  On my opposite side, Aubrey said, “You can be a cool stepmom, like Julia Roberts in that movie with Susan Sarandon.”

  “Considering how uncool I was as a teenager, I don’t know how useful I’ll be in giving advice,” I said.

  “With the tight leash Elena has Liza on, I doubt she’ll be dating before she’s eighteen. You may not need to worry about boy problems,” Aubrey said.

  My head hurt thinking about the moody pre-adolescent years to come. Liza might start tugging hard against Elena’s tight leash. I’d seen kids at the rink turn from sweet little girls to bratty pre-teens in a flash. I rubbed my neck, forcing my thoughts back to the present. There was enough to worry about in the immediate future without stressing over events years down the road.

  We continued to snack and watch the girls entertain themselves until Elena announced it was time for Liza to open the gifts. Soon, instead of being surrounded by beads and baubles, Liza was elbow-deep in tissue paper and discarded wrapping.

  With two presents left in the stack, Liza opened the small box from Sergei and gasped at the silver charm bracelet inside. It held one dangling aquamarine jewel, Liza’s birthstone.

  “I thought you could put your skate charm from the festival on it, too,” Sergei said.

  “Thank you,” Liza said, still wide-eyed.

  The last gift in the pile was mine, and Liza grinned when she read the card. She tore away the paper and squealed as she lifted the bathing suit from the box. “I’ve never had a bikini!”

  Elena had stooped behind Liza to pick up the mess, and her mouth set into a stern line, a look I’d seen from Mom when she didn’t approve of something. I couldn’t imagine what Elena’s issue was unless she was just annoyed Liza loved my present.