Edge of the Past

by Jennifer Comeaux

  All the girls admired the suit as Liza slipped on the pink sunglasses. She shot me a big smile, and Sergei snapped a photo with his camera.

  After everyone stuffed themselves with cake – everyone except those of us training for Worlds – the guests cleared out, and I started cleaning the kitchen. Liza ran upstairs and returned with her skate charm, which she hooked onto the bracelet. Elena helped her clasp it around her wrist, and Liza bounced over to Sergei, who bent to get a closer look.

  “It’s so pretty,” she said.

  “It’ll be our special bracelet,” Sergei said. “Every time we do something fun together, we’ll add another charm.”

  Liza blinked a few times and then put her arms around Sergei’s shoulders. My heart turned to mush as Sergei’s eyes glistened. He shut them and embraced Liza harder.

  When they broke apart, Sergei said, “We’ll have to find a charm for our whale-watching trip tomorrow.”

  I put my head down to resume wiping the counter, and Elena quietly slipped into the kitchen. “May we speak in living room?”

  Is this going to be about the look she gave me earlier? I ditched the paper towel into the trash can and trailed Elena up the stairs. She stood in the center of the room with her arms folded.

  “Liza is too young to wear bikini. It is not appropriate for girl her age.”

  A combination of humiliation and anger burned my scalp. I should’ve been accustomed to Elena’s lectures, but they still scratched at every one of my nerves.

  “They sell them in the children’s department,” I said.

  “It does not mean it is okay.” Elena let out long breath through her nose. “You are young. You do not know what is good for child.”

  I crossed my arms, mimicking her stance. “Nothing I do is going to meet your approval, is it?”

  “I know what is best for Liza, and I do not want you to teach her different.”

  “Would you prefer I ignore her and have her think I don’t care at all?”

  “I prefer you not…” Elena’s forehead creased as she stammered to find the right word. “Influence her.”

  “Because I’m such a horrible role model?” I snapped, my voice rising.

  “Because you are young and not ready to be mother.”

  I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t expect to be Mother of the Year! I’m learning as I go here, and you’re not making it any easier.”

  Elena further stiffened her rigid posture. “No one make anything easy for me.”

  “So, I shouldn’t expect you to lighten up on me any time soon. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “I worry only about Liza.”

  The glacial air had returned, chilling me down to my core. Elena and I remained locked in a reciprocal glare until I turned toward the stairs.

  “I’m done with this,” I muttered.

  I clomped down to the kitchen, where I snatched the dirty serving platter and threw it into the sink. The clang of metal on stainless steel caused Sergei and Liza to look up from the books they were examining.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  Sergei’s eyes lingered on me with concern, and I let my hair fall around my face as I bent to wash the tray. Elena returned and asked Liza to bring the rest of her gifts into the guest bedroom, so Sergei came into the kitchen and stood against the sink with me.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  I sloshed soap and water over the tray and scrubbed a spot that had been on the silver for years. “Just another lecture from Elena. I don’t know why it even bothers me anymore,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “What was she lecturing you about?”

  “My gift was apparently inappropriate for a nine-year-old.”

  “What?” He sounded just as surprised as I’d been.

  I lifted my head, tossing my hair away from my face. “It’s always going to be something. I thought when Elena and I talked earlier that maybe we’d had a little breakthrough, but we’re right back where we’ve always been.”

  Sergei passed his hand over his mouth and chin. “I’ll talk to her.”

  “No!” I said more forcefully than I’d intended. “It’s not going to change anything, so just… don’t bring it up.”

  “I want to do something…” he said.

  I shut off the water and stared up at Sergei. “There’s one thing you could do. Come with me to the Vineyard tomorrow. Let’s get away from all this for a day.”

  The conflict in his eyes didn’t give me much confidence in a positive response, so I inched closer to him and put a soapy hand on his forearm. “Please?”

  He looked too pained to answer. Finally, he said, “Liza’s so excited about tomorrow. I’d hate to disappoint her.”

  I turned back to the sink. “But you’ll disappoint me.”

  “Em, come on. That’s not fair.”

  “None of this is fair,” I said.

  He was quiet, and I clenched the dishrag, whitening my knuckles. I started scrubbing again and Sergei stopped me, his hand on mine.

  “Come back to my apartment with me. We can be alone for the rest of the night.”

  Sergei stroked my skin under the warm water, and part of me ached for more of his silky touch. The other part of me stomped those stirrings, not wanting to give in so easily. The stubborn side won.

  “I have to get up early for the ferry,” I said, pulling my hand away.

  Sergei stayed at my side, watching me rinse dishes but not saying anything. When I didn’t speak either, he slowly retreated from the kitchen, not even giving me a goodnight kiss.

  I wrung out my frustration with the towel and slumped over the counter. Making a bad situation worse had become my new specialty.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The ignition clicked and lights on the dashboard flashed, but the engine made no sound. I turned the key again and again, willing my car to start. Nothing. I slunk down in the driver’s seat and groaned. Can’t anything be easy?

  I glanced at my watch. I had to get to the ferry in Woods Hole, and the village on the southwest tip of the Cape was a fifty-minute drive from Hyannis. Jumping out of the car, I ran into the house and up to Aubrey’s room, which was still dark.

  I shook Aubrey’s shoulder and tugged on her comforter. “Hey, wake up.”

  She peeled open her eyes and squinted at the sunlight from the hallway. “What?”

  “Can I borrow your car? I think my battery’s dead.”

  “I need my car,” she mumbled.

  “Please. I don’t have time to call AAA. I can’t miss the ferry.”

  She sighed and smashed her face to her pillow. “Okay. Key’s on the dresser.”

  “Thank you, thank you!”

  I snatched the key and raced outside. A few light raindrops dotted the windshield of Aubrey’s Jeep as I sped out of the parking lot.

  Gray skies made the ferry ride from Woods Hole to Vineyard Haven even gloomier than I felt, and the normally bright and sparkling harbor looked cold and bleak. I raised my eyes to the sky, wondering if the weather was another bad sign. I’d become obsessed with omens lately.

  The large boat docked, and I gunned the Jeep away from the coast and west toward Chilmark. Since I knew the town well from my summers at Aunt Debbie and Uncle Joe’s house, I easily located the rental property on Stonewall Pond. The two-story home sat on a bluff, set back from the road and secluded from the neighboring properties. As my feet hit the rocky driveway, a middle-aged man greeted me from the open front door.

  “Found the place okay?”

  “Yes, very easy.” I arched my neck to look up at the second-story deck. “The house is beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” He extended his hand. “Corbin Davis. Good to meet you.”

  I returned his handshake and followed him into the airy living room. Corbin pointed out the updated entertainment system and brand-new white furniture before leading me to the kitchen. Stainless steel appliances gleamed between the maple cabinets and granite countertops.
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br />   “This is a great kitchen.” I palmed the smooth granite on the island. “I love to cook, so this will be perfect.”

  “You’re gonna cook on your honeymoon? Your fiancé is a lucky man.”

  I don’t think he feels so lucky after my behavior last night. Even though I believed my annoyance with Sergei was justified, I hated how selfish I’d sounded.

  Corbin directed me to the dining area, which looked out onto the garden. Blue hydrangeas and pink hyacinth colored the landscape, and the ocean rolled in the distance.

  “Can’t beat having breakfast here every morning.“ He tapped the solid wood table. “I’ll show you the bedrooms and then we can head out to the beach.”

  The loud jangle of a phone sounded, and Corbin reached into his shirt pocket. Peering at the screen, he said, “It’s my wife. Why don’t you get a start on the upstairs tour and I’ll meet you in a minute.”

  I ascended the narrow staircase from the kitchen to the second floor and bypassed two small bedrooms, aiming for the one at the end of the hall. I walked through the doorway, and my mouth fell open.

  Floor-to-ceiling windows and a pair of open glass doors comprised one entire wall. The ocean breeze streamed through the opening and filled the room with a cool freshness. The spectacular views Corbin had mentioned on the phone extended before me.

  I went over to the queen-sized bed and ran my hand along the pristine white duvet and the fluffy pillows. As the breeze tickled my face, I pictured Sergei and I wrapped around each other, the summer wind dancing over our bodies. Heat bloomed deep inside me and rose to my face. Sergei and I had waited so long to be together that sometimes I felt the time would never come. That feeling had been especially prevalent the past few weeks.

  I turned left into the bathroom and gaped again. A huge window over the garden tub provided more amazing views. Besides the bathtub, there was also a large shower with multiple top-of-the-line shower heads. My mind wandered to another fantasy similar to the one I’d had in the bedroom. I touched my flushed cheek and left the spacious bathroom behind.

  Corbin resurfaced and showed me the private beach as promised. I couldn’t believe the place was even nicer than the original home Sergei and I had rented. A good omen, finally? I signed the necessary paperwork and wrote a check for the deposit, knowing Sergei would love the house, too. I just wished he was there to see it.

  The dreary, rainy day didn’t give me a lot of options for activities, so I stocked up on food at Alley’s General Store in nearby West Tisbury and settled in at Aunt Debbie’s house for the day. If the rain didn’t stop, I wouldn’t be able to go to the cliffs at sunrise, which was disappointing. The beautiful clay cliffs at Gay Head were a place where the rest of the world didn’t seem to exist. I’d looked forward all week to visiting the serene spot.

  At only midday I changed into my pajamas, an old T-shirt and a pair of gym shorts, and lounged on the couch with the reading material I’d brought with me – The Notebook and Sergei’s Lyrics book. I opened Lyrics first and selected a random page. The song listed was “Fields of Gold,” and Sergei had written – With you in my life, I feel like I’m walking through fields of gold every moment of every day.

  The more notes from Sergei I read, the more I wanted to talk to him. A little rain wouldn’t have cancelled his trip with Liza, so I waited until early evening to call him. I called three times, getting his voice mail on each attempt. A burst of excitement hit me. What if Sergei was on his way to the Vineyard? What if he was coming to see me?

  Don’t get your hopes up. He’s probably still with Liza. I shuddered. Or Elena.

  I’d packed my DVD of Season One of Due South, so I popped it into the DVD player to pass the time. I selected the “Victoria’s Secret” episode and poured a glass of wine. Aunt Debbie wouldn’t mind that I borrowed a bottle from her stash.

  As I watched the show, I remembered the day Sergei had showed Chris and me his choreography inspired by the episode. I loved his work and the emotion he put into it, and I’d shared my admiration with him.

  “I think you have a special talent for creating romantic programs,” I said, leaning into Sergei. “You have sexy in your soul.”

  He smiled and brought his mouth close to mine. “My muse has a lot to do with that.”

  The doorbell shook me from my memories, and my heart rate accelerated. It had to be Sergei! I leapt from the couch and stuck my head between the curtains on the front window. With no lights in the living room except the glow from the TV, I could clearly see the dark street. No cars. I ran to the door and looked through the peephole, and my heart plummeted. My visitor was the long-time neighbor, Mrs. Bloom.

  I opened the door, and the elderly lady smiled with relief under her umbrella. “Oh, Emily, I’m glad it’s you. I didn’t recognize the Jeep, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay over here.”

  “That’s my friend’s car. Mine wouldn’t start this morning.” I rubbed my arms as moist, chilly air seeped into the foyer.

  “Well, it’s good to see you. Come by if you need anything.”

  “Thanks,” I said as Mrs. Bloom started across the lawn. I was about to close the door when headlights burned through the darkness and a taxi rolled to a stop in front of the house. I held my breath, waiting for the passenger to emerge. This couldn’t be another disappointment, could it?

  The back door of the cab opened, and my emotional yo-yo took an upward swing.

  Sergei!

  He hurried through the heavy drops to the porch and stood across the threshold, his chest rising and falling with hesitant breaths. He stared at me with his hypnotizing eyes, and I gazed back at him, open-mouthed.

  “You came,” I uttered.

  Sergei stepped closer. “I needed to see–“

  I grabbed a fistful of his damp T-shirt and pulled him toward me, pressing my mouth to his. He took a second to react and then used his body to steer me further inside, shutting the door behind him.

  I circled my arms around Sergei’s neck as he brought me flush against him, our lips not leaving each other. He smelled like a rainy night in the woods, and I wanted to kiss him until I was drunk from the scent.

  We had to come up for air, but Sergei continued to brush soft kisses on my forehead, my nose, and my cheeks as we caught our breath. When I could speak once more, I whispered, “Come sit.”

  I slid my hands down his contoured muscles, clutching his shirt once again. We walked as one entity to the sofa and sat as close as we could get without me being on Sergei’s lap. I didn’t care why he’d come. I just wanted to enjoy the fact he was there.

  Sergei noticed the show playing on TV and gave me a slow smile. “Getting inspired for Worlds?”

  “Well, since someone won’t skate with me, I had to look for inspiration elsewhere.”

  “Do you want to know the real reason why I can’t skate with you?”

  I tensed, hoping the explanation wouldn’t involve Elena. I needed an Elena-free night.

  Sergei fingered a long strand that had escaped from my big hair clip. Tucking it behind my ear, he said, “I can’t handle it.”

  I tilted my head to one side. “I don’t understand.”

  “You know how hard I work to keep things professional between us at the rink. When we skated together that day, it took every ounce of willpower I had not to kiss you.” Sergei’s eyes kept mine captive as he continued, “Skating with you was the biggest rush. I wanted to stay on the ice with you forever.”

  My tension melted away along with the rest of me. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “I need you to only think of Chris as your partner, and I have to make sure that bond is as strong as it can be. I was afraid if I told you how I felt, your focus wouldn’t be on Chris.”

  “Because I’d be thinking about skating with you?” I asked with a little smile.

  “I don’t mean it to sound like I have some big ego.” Sergei laughed. “That’s not where I’m coming from.”

  I tenderly
squeezed his bicep. “I know what you mean. And I love you for being such a thoughtful coach.”

  “So, you won’t bug me anymore to practice with you? It kills me to have to say no.”

  “No, I won’t tempt you.”

  Sergei caressed my cheek with his thumb and slowly slid his hand to the nape of my neck. The light from the TV flickered across his face, illuminating the desire in his eyes.

  “You have no idea the effect you have on me,” he said.

  With gentle pressure he brought my head toward his and kissed me, the tip of his tongue teasing mine and making me tingle all over. I curled my hand behind his neck and leaned deeper into him.

  My hair spilled over my shoulders as Sergei removed my clip. His fingers tangled among the waves, sending more sparks through me. He angled me down onto my back, and I closed my eyes as he kissed his way down my throat and the deep V of my neckline. The well-worn cotton of my shirt was merely a formality between my body and Sergei’s searing touch.

  His lips met my heartbeat, and I drew in a quick breath. I nudged up his T-shirt and ran my hands above the waistband of his jeans, needing to feel his skin. It had been too long – far, far too long – since we’d been this close.

  I splayed my fingers across Sergei’s back, and he lifted up slightly to look at me. Not saying a word, he lowered himself over me again, his muscles rippling under my palms.

  Our heated kisses grew more urgent, our bodies more entwined, and I felt myself becoming further lost in the moment, carried along by the waves of passion. We were quickly headed to a point we knew very well, where one of us needed to slow things down. As difficult as it was, I forced myself to take a breath.

  “I have to tell you about the house I saw today,” I said as Sergei’s mouth temporarily left mine.

  Sergei bumped my nose with his. “We have all night to talk about it.”

  “I know, but I thought you might be interested in one particular feature.”