Of The Cowboy's Own Accord (Double Dutch Ranch; Love At First Sight #3)

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  A hundred scenarios raced through his mind while he couldn’t help but think she wanted to end it, get it over with now. He rubbed his sweaty hand against his jeans. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes or less.”

  “I’ll be waiting in my car in the main parking lot.”

  After the call Dane took a minute to catch his breath on the way to the kitchen. “Gracelyn is getting off work now. Don’t wait up. Where’s your keys, Mom?” He’d launch a rocket to get there if he had one. To slow his breathing, he took a look around the kitchen, to be reminded he was home.

  Judy took an extra car and house key from a drawer at the counter and handed them over before hugging him carefully this time. “Good luck. You can always come back here to talk if you want. I’ll make myself scarce.”

  “I’m not sure what’ll happen, but I appreciate it. I have to go brush my teeth.” He pivoted at the doorway. “Thanks for everything.” His heart clenched at her teary eyes. “It’ll be all right. At least she called me. That’s a start.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  In his room, he changed his shirt and slapped on his favorite after-shave. Additional memories of home and family flashed through his brain. At the door he glanced at his black Stetson, took it off the hook, and twirled it in his hands a few times before putting it on. “She might as well see this side of me now.” After a struggle with the buttons, he tucked in his shirt with a question on his mind. “What am I? Cowboy rebel? Army Ranger? Wounded soldier.”

  Chapter 9

  Dane pulled beside her car then stepped out. Her window rolled down. No matter what, he’d never get enough of looking at her, and he greeted her with, “Hi there.”

  With a quick glance up his body, her gaze stopped at his hat. She smiled. “Get in, Dane.”

  Her smile calmed his anxiety as he slid into the front seat. “What’s up?” A check to the interior and he acknowledged his nervousness over what was about to happen. “Nice car.”

  She shifted to face him. “I missed you so much.” Her steeple-shaped hands went to her face. “Thank God you’re home and alive.”

  Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her, his abdomen tightening with the stretch. “I’m home and okay.” He clenched her hair as it lay against her back. Beautiful memories of holding her flooded his psyche. His body still reacted to her warmth—the same comforting peace that he was never able to explain, swept over him. “I missed you, too. So much. I can’t even tell you how much. Baby, I thought you were lost for good.”

  She clutched at his shirt. “I tried to find you—to find if you were alive, but your letters went unanswered, your phone dead.” She pulled back and held his face. “I looked up your ranch, and your local newspapers, hoping not to find anything.” Tears streamed down her cheeks while she talked. “I’m glad you’re back. It was so terrifying to think you had died.”

  It was all he could do to contain himself. She had been hurting and he was the cause. The reason he didn’t want someone waiting for him…until her. “I’m so glad you stayed in the Phoenix area. I searched for you. They wouldn’t give me information here at the restaurant when I called from the hospital. I tried to explain numerous times, begged them to tell you I called— that I was okay.”

  She flung her hands upward. “No one told me. I hate them so much.”

  “So do I.” He swiped his thumbs over her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter now.”

  “It matters. I could’ve been with you through your ordeal.”

  “If you weren’t still here when I returned, my next stop would’ve been San Francisco. I had to know, to hear from your mouth we were through.” He glanced at her abdomen. “I could’ve been with you during this…pregnancy.” He placed his hand on her baby bump. “I can’t imagine what you went through when you found out. I apologize for not being around, and for putting you in this predicament in the first place.”

  “No, don’t do that. I had a part of you, if you were dead. Your family would have, too. I’ve loved this baby from the beginning. I love you.”

  Thank God. He smoothed her hair back and gave her a serious stare. “Why didn’t you tell me face to face while we Skyped, Gracelyn? Or on the phone? You didn’t have to go through this alone.”

  “I did, eventually, in that letter I sent after receiving the one where you said you loved me.”

  “That letter was written the last day at my FOB. I left on that mission—the one I was wounded in. That was the last letter I wrote. At the hospital, I tried sending you emails but they bounced.”

  “Oh, no. My email was hacked and I cancelled the account and sent you the new email address in a letter.” She covered her face with her hands. “You never replied. I’m sorry. What was I thinking, for God’s sake?”

  Dane removed her hands from her face. “No more sorry. Everything was out of our hands, but look, here we are.” He tilted his head and kissed her while she hugged and kissed him back with kisses filled with love—he knew they were, for it spoke to his whole body, his soul. “Gracelyn…” he mumbled against her lips. “I love you. I’m in love with you. There, I said it in person.”

  “Come home with me.” Gracelyn laid her head on his shoulder. “Follow, or stay in my car. I need to lie beside you—hold you. Tell you everything that’s happened since you’ve been gone.” A glance downward, she spoke low, “Our baby. I want you to know our baby.”

  Dane’s eyes squeezed closed. Was he hearing this? No more pain meds so it wasn’t drug induced. “I didn’t know if you’d want me back after putting you through this.”

  “I’ve lived with the same terror. Ease your mind now. I want you back and I’m so proud to be carrying your child.”

  He grabbed his head. “Thank you for keeping the baby. None of this could’ve been easy.” She had seven months to get used to the idea. He’s had less than two weeks.

  “It took some time.” She lifted his bandaged hand and ran her fingers over the exposed part of his thumb. “What happened to your hand?”

  No way did he want to answer or live through what happened. “My hand and arm were crushed beneath rubble when a mortar round hit the building I was held up in.” He told her the rest of the story, including about his kidney removal.

  “It doesn’t matter. A person can live without fingers and with one kidney.”

  “You think so?” He lifted his eyes to hers. “Could you open a bottle of wine without a couple fingers?” Silence. “Listen, I can’t shoot a gun without massive training with my left hand. They won’t do that.” Taking a deep breath didn’t help—blowing it out did nothing, either. “Do you want me caressing your skin with part of a hand? Feeding our child?”

  “Yes.” Gracelyn leaned back against the door. A car drove up behind them then it pulled out, but she turned back to him after checking it out. “Please come with me.”

  “I’ll follow you. That’s my mom’s. I’m not able to ride my motorcycle yet.” What a weak-assed sonofabitch. Not able had never been part of his vocabulary.

  “You will one day. You’re not a quitter—you don’t give up. A reminder in case you’ve forgotten.”

  She waited for a rebuttal, but he didn’t have one to give back to her. He’d never been a quitter and wasn’t about to start now. Sometimes his sense got away from him lately. Something else he wasn’t used to.

  Her fingers stroked the back of his hair when she pulled him close. “What are the details about your military life now? Are you still a soldier? Do you have to leave again?”

  It’s a long story. “We’ll talk back at your apartment.” He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck to kiss her one more time. “I’ll follow,” he said and gave a heartfelt smile. “Gracelyn, I love you.” Dane opened the door and walked around the front of her car. A car drove up close to him, almost stopped, yet the front fender nudged him, and the driver hit the gas. Dane flipped him off. “Dumb ass.” He got into the SUV and rolled down the window. “Don’t lose me.”

  “Not to worry. Seems l
ike a lot of interferences already tried. It didn’t work.” She wrote down her address, handed it over to him with a smile before rolling up her window.

  His body remained tense all the way to the 60. A cigarette called to him, so he finally removed one from the pack, lit it, and took a long, slow inhale before lowering the window. It’d been so long. It felt right to have a cigarette in his hand and between his lips. Whether or not he’d like another, he didn’t know.

  The two of them had to start all over. Sure, he loved her, loved what they had discovered, but now it was time to put the life they talked about having when he returned into effect.

  Dane followed her into the parking lot and pulled beside her car. She nodded toward the building in front of them. It was decent. Some kind of adobe slate face. Dane got out of his vehicle, eyed another car pulling into a parking spot behind them with parking lights on. He held her door open as she stepped out. She was shorter than he remembered.

  Immediately rushing into his arms, her body pressed against him. “You feel so good. I tried remembering this feeling, never having enough of it before you left.” She nestled into his embrace. “You’re home.”

  “Me, too, sweetheart. Every single night I yearned for your arms around me.” Ahh, her hair smells delicious. Dane eyed that car as he looked past her when there was one flash from its high-beams.

  “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.” When the car that had pulled in, revved its engine, she released him. “Let me get my bag and purse out of the car.” She gathered her items from the floor then glanced across the parking lot when she rose. Dane took her bag on the way to the door. She smiled. “You’re taller than I remember.”

  “Do you like it here?” The same car pulled out of the parking lot while squealing its tires all the way to the exit. “Somebody you know?” The same asshole who had driven past him in the restaurant parking lot, now sparked more than Dane’s curiosity.

  She gave a quick shake of her head. “I don’t think so.” Brushing it off, she said, “My apartment is nice enough, but the lease will be up soon. I may renew for three months until a two bedroom becomes available. I’m on a list. We have a pool, fitness center, shopping close by, and it isn’t far from work.”

  “Don’t you remember that I have a place?” Dane pulled her to a stop.

  When she unlocked the door to her apartment, she peered into his eyes beneath the carriage-house style porch light.

  “Like I said before… One quarter of the ranch is mine. I don’t have a house built on the property, yet, as you know. No reason to…until now.” That idea popped into his head. Of course, if he remained home he’d have to have his own place.

  When they stepped inside, Gracelyn closed the door, flipped two locks then hooked the chain. Before going farther, she peeked through the window before turning the main light on. She whirled around. “Welcome. Thank you for the suggestion to look closer to work. A month after I moved into my first place in Phoenix…” She laid her hand over her abdomen and raised her eyes to his. “The morning sickness started.”

  A punch in the gut would’ve knocked the same air out of him. Holy hell. “I keep saying I don’t know how you got pregnant, because I used protection. Well, you were there, you know I did.” His smile wavered. “What the hell happened? I’m so sorry.” The shy nature of her intrigued him. In reality, she wasn’t shy at all.

  Her gaze veered away, but a slight twist appeared on her lips when she peered back. “Ah—”

  He cocked his head while he forced himself to think back. She knows something I don’t? Crimminy, he was there. “Are you saying I didn’t?”

  “The last night before you left the airport hotel for your base—the second or third time that day…” Her eyes narrowed yet widened right away.

  Crimminy, I’m worse than a rabbit. Dane knocked himself in the head. “How’d I not…or forget? Dammit, girl, I’m sorry.” A little late for sorry.

  “It isn’t that we forgot. Don’t you remember—how it, i-it broke, tore, I don’t know… We didn’t know until…after.” She grasped the bottom of her jacket with both hands and stretched it down past her waist. When she peered at him, she rolled her eyes. “How, you ask? I stopped asking myself that question. Even at that point we knew there was so much more to us. You excited me in ways I was unfamiliar with, and my brain was full of fuzz…and you.”

  Gracelyn released the tension on her jacket, and shrugged. “Once I got over the shock, a river of tears, facing family, and a bunch of why’s and how’s, I wrote it off to chance. Otherwise, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I had no choice but to accept the pregnancy. Well, in essence, I had choices.”

  Like being struck with a bullet, he remembered that time, and in fact, he was the one who told her the condom was defective…afterwards. How the hell had he forgotten that? All it took was one freaking time? He gripped her shoulders and pierced her with a saddened stare. “God, I’m so damn sorry.”

  “No. No, don’t,” she said, taking hold of his wrists.

  “Whatever the reason, I don’t care, but I’m sorry for betraying your trust.” Dane drew her into his arms. “It could’ve gone the other way once I walked out that door. You deserved more.”

  “It didn’t happen.” She pulled his face down close, and whispered, “It didn’t. We’re together again, and now we really get to know each other. Yet, it seems like I’ve known you forever.”

  Dane took a half step back. “You said you got the letter when I said I love you. I mailed another one at the same time—asking you to go to my ranch to meet my family. My mom’s request. I included her phone number.”

  Gracelyn’s phone vibrated and she removed it from her purse. She hit the End button then placed it on the table. “I didn’t get that letter.” Walking away, she pivoted. “When I didn’t hear from you, I wanted to go to your ranch once I found it online.” She stomped against the wood floor. “I wanted to, but I was afraid to go in my present condition. I didn’t know if they knew how serious we were about each other. How could I face them…” Her hands lifted. “Like this? I would’ve, though, if something had happened to you. Honest, I would’ve let them know a part of you lived on.”

  “I appreciate that, Gracelyn. They knew I was serious about you.” He broke out into a sweat. His body heated as if he had a fever. “I don’t know why you didn’t get that other letter.” Of all the important letters the post office had, this one had to get lost? Did it matter now?

  “I began using the post office when my mailbox at the old place was broken into. I sent you the new address and kept writing afterward using the new one.”

  Dane pressed his fingers against his temples, glanced into space, and went into his head a minute. This was almost hard to believe on both sides. He tried. She tried. The world stood in the middle. “You didn’t email with your new address? I would have gotten that eventually.”

  “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.” She covered her face and bawled like a child.

  Dane removed her hands and lifted her chin. “Don’t cry. We both tried. Let’s leave it at that.” He embraced her and wrapped her tight in his arms. “This moment right now is what matters.”

  Sniffling continued as she spoke, “All communication from you stopped. I didn’t know why. If you were done with me, I wasn’t going to force you to come back, and especially not to come back because there was a baby. We can have DNA tests done to prove the baby is yours. I’m sure your family finds it hard to—”

  “No.” Holy hell. “One obstacle after another. If we survived everything thrown against us so far, we can surely survive when everything is for us.”

  She used the heels of her hands to wipe tears from her cheeks. “You bet.” Gracelyn removed her shoes. “I have to get off my feet. It was a long day. I’ve been working extra hours.”

  Her apartment was modest and plainly decorated, but it was to his liking. It didn’t surprise him that she’d decorate this way—simple mode
rn. Taking a needed deep breath he focused on the here and now. “No need to worry about that overtime anymore. I want to take care of you and the baby.” Dane put his hands behind his back, standing straight and tall.

  She tilted her head for him to follow. “Come and have a seat.” When she sat on the sofa, she lifted her feet to the coffee table.

  “This is my style, especially with the neutral colors.” Dane smiled. “Of course, right? Add this to the list of our things in common.” He would’ve set it up the same way. The two chairs facing the windows and door so he had a choice to watch outside or TV. Either way, his back wouldn’t be to the door. “This doesn’t look like what I saw in the background when we used the webcam.”

  “This is new.” She leaned her head against the sofa back. Dane tossed a pillow to the end of the sofa. “Here, lie down.” When she did, he lifted her legs to his lap and smoothed his hands over them. “Relax. Tell me if you want something to eat or drink.”

  “I want you—I want my baby’s daddy—to have a peaceful night without worry.” Her hands covered her face again.

  “Here I am. You have your baby’s daddy now.” He removed his hat and tossed it to the coffee table. “I’m right here—not planning on going anywhere without you two.”

  Gracelyn’s gaze followed his hat to the table. “You’re a real cowboy. Now I see it.”

  “Told you. If I’m discharged, combat boots will turn to cowboy boots. Jeans instead of ACU’s. Everybody will be happy. Dane will be a rancher again.”

  She diverted her eyes and her teeth pressed against her bottom lip. She propped herself up on her elbows. “So you’re still a soldier. You don’t want to be a rancher?”

  “So far, technically I’m still a soldier. My fate will be determined by the military and doctors.” Or myself if I make the decision first.

  “I think you’d rather be a soldier, but sometimes choices—”

  “You’re not going to say that, are you?” He pierced her with a stare. “I hear it all the time these days.” It’d take some time for him to realize that. He lowered her legs to the floor, stood, and reached for her hand to assist her up. “But right now, I have a choice. I need to stretch out beside you like I did in my dreams. Our few nights together was all it took to fall in love with you.” Or one.