Remember This

by Shae Buggs

  I slip into the bottom bunk and Mason sneakily gets off of the mattress and comes to sit next to me.

  “Sorry things didn’t work out,” he says. For whatever reason, I don’t think he is just referring to tonight’s sleeping arrangements.

  “It’s ok,” I respond. He leans down and kisses me a little more fierce than just a peck and then climbs up to the bed above me. I can’t sleep. All I can do is stare up at the short ceiling above my bed where he is laying and wonder where things will go next with us. The thought sends Henry into a tizzy.

  The next morning is busy as we make brunch and pack up our cars. This weekend always goes by so fast. I have had an especially good time this year with Mason and I don’t want it to end. I have an idea on how to prolong our visit a little more but I don’t know if my plan will work.

  “Hey, Isaac?” I say as he is finishing up his breakfast.

  “What’s up Luce?”

  “Do you mind if I take the boat out this morning?”

  “Of course not. The keys are in the boat.”

  “Thanks,” I say feeling a little more confident. Step one of my plan is complete.

  “No problem. Oh, and don’t forget your life jacket,” he says winking at me. I want to be angry at him but I just can’t be. Mason is standing outside on the deck talking to my dad so slip out the door, hoping that my plan isn’t too obvious.

  “Hey, munchkin,” my dad says as I come and stand behind the two of them.

  “Hi dad. Mason, Isaac gave me the keys to the boat. Do you want to go for a morning cruise?” I ask feeling all nervous like I am asking him to prom and he might say no.

  “Of course,” he beams and pats my dad on the shoulder. Step two complete, I think to myself. We head down to the dock and untie the boat. He gets in the boat first. To my surprise, he turns and lifts me effortlessly in. That made step three a little less troublesome. Yes, step three was getting in the boat. For a normal person, this isn’t a big deal but for me it’s something I have to concentrate on. Step four is the one I am most worried about and now it’s time to act. I walk over to the driver’s seat while Mason takes the seat across from me.

  “Do you know how to drive this thing,” he says as he watches me fumble with the keys. He looks amused.

  “Um, sort of,” I say dropping the keys a couple of times before I actually get them in the ignition. I turn the key and the boat roars to life. I switch the handle on the right to reverse and we slowly pull away from the dock. I pull down on the handle after a few seconds and the boat lurches forward causing me to fall into the back of the seat. Thank goodness I was sitting down. I peek over at Mason and he is staring out at the water as if nothing happened. I crank the wheel and decide to drive along the shore and show Mason the homes that are built around the lake.

  “I don’t know who lives in most of these but they’re fun to look at,” I say as we glide around the small lake.

  “It is beautiful out here. I can see why so many people have summer homes,” Mason says enjoying the scenery. I am enjoying him as my scenery. I smile to myself and take us to the middle of the lake. Our cabin is directly in front of us but is so far away that it is only a small spec. I turn the engine off and congratulate myself on getting through with my plan to steal Mason away for a little. I stand up and walk to the back of the boat and sit on what looks like a coach built into the back of the boat. There are three seats on the bench and I take the one farthest to the right. Mason follows my lead and takes the seat on the left. He angles his body so he has one leg up on the middle seat and he is looking at me.

  “Thank you for bringing me out here this weekend. I had a lot of fun,” he says as the slight breeze blows through his sandy hair. The blue lake water makes his eyes pop and I swear he is gazing into my soul.

  “You’re welcome,” I say picking at a loose thread on the middle cushion.

  “Hey,” he says grabbing my hand, forcing me to look up at him. I turn so I am angled the same way he is and our legs touch. “I’ve had a great time with you these past few days.”

  “Me too,” I say but I can tell that he sees the hesitation on my face.

  He looks worried. “What’s wrong?” Oh crap. Me and my facial expressions. I don’t know how to say this but it needs to be said.

  “I’m just worried…about what we will be once your memory is back. I’m afraid we will go back to the way things were before,” I confess looking across the water as I talk. Mason grabs my chin and turns my face back towards his. He is smiling, a private smile I don’t recognize but he looks sincere.

  “Why does anything have to change?” he asks.

  I give him my ‘you know why’ look and I think he understands. “I’m afraid to get close to you again because I know it will end at some point and I don’t want to go through the heartache again,” I continue.

  “Listen, Luce, I don’t remember what we were like before but I can tell you that we have something special.” He has told me this before and every time he says it, I convince myself a little more that he is right. “We can make this work. You just have to have a little faith.” I stare up at him not knowing what to say and then he leans forward and kisses me softly. The second our lips make contact I surrender to him. I let myself believe that everything will be ok and we will make this work. He’s put a spell on me and it worked.

  Our kiss deepens and he pulls me onto his lap. We sit like this, kissing, for who knows how long until kissing just isn’t enough anymore. We move to the floor and sweetly, slowly make love.

  As we are laying on the floor under a blanket, our heads propped up by bright orange life jackets, we laugh about how quirky my family is. Off in the distance, I hear a familiar ring.

  “What is that?” Mason asks sitting up.

  I sit up and roll my eyes. “That would be the cow bell. Another family quirk. It means that they are wrapping everything up and that we should head back.” Mason gets on his feet and pulls me up with him.

  “Can I drive?” he asks with an excited grin on his face.

  “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” How could I say no to that face?

  Mason drives the boat back to the dock with me on his lap showing him the controls. It is a short ride and we head inside to say our goodbyes. Mason has to promise Piper five times that he will come visit her. Liam, completely pulled out of his funk, shakes Mason’s hand and gives me a big hug.

  “Goodbye, Carolyn,” Mason says kissing my mom on the cheek.

  We wave good bye to everyone as we pull out of the driveway. I’m already looking forward to this weekend next year.

  Things have been great with Mason and me. Beyond great. We go on dates almost every night which has forced me to be less of a workaholic. The sex has been amazing. We have slept in the same bed ever since the lake, which has been about three weeks and I realized how much I missed cuddling.

  I have started running but I only agreed to twice a week and only a mile. Mason wants me to train for a 5K but I haven’t warmed up to that idea yet.

  Eli has backed off at work but it took me completely avoiding him for two weeks to get to that point. He is persistent.

  Mason still doesn’t have his memory back and it has been over a month since the incident. He says he can remember more parts of his childhood but not much more than that still. I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help but hope that his memory won’t return. I allowed myself to get way too involved with Mason and now I don’t want to lose him, well, the new him anyway.

  Mason is cooking dinner for me tonight. He’s making my favorite, chicken alfredo. He decided we should still dress up as if we were going out for dinner to make it more special. He has been so romantic lately. I keep wondering if he has something planned for tonight. We haven’t said that we love each other yet since we have been back together and I have a small suspicion that is what he is planning to do tonight.

  I decide to wear my hair down. I think it looks better down with the low cut red dress I am wearing. The
plus side to eating at home is that I don’t have to put on those death traps people call heels. I shake my head at myself in the mirror. I’m all dressed up for my husband, whom I hated, but now I am anticipating him telling me he loves me. This is all so complicated but for once, I’m not going to over think things.

  “Don’t come out here yet!” Mason rushes as he peeks his head into the bedroom door. He gives me an appraising glance and smiles before he shuts the door again. I hear him rummaging around in the living room, cupboards clanging, and chairs being moved. In about ten minutes, he is back opening the door for me.

  “After you,” he says gesturing for me to exit the room in a most gentleman-like way.

  “Thank you,” I say taking one step out of the room and freezing. Our entire living room is covered in candles, hundreds of them all twinkling. Mason has moved the furniture so there is a table set for two in the middle of the living room. The couch is nowhere in sight and I’m guessing it is tucked away in the spare bedroom. The other furniture is also cleared from the room. Our Alfredo is steaming on the table along with wine glasses, a bottle of wine, and rose petals. Now that I really look around, I notice that there are red long stemmed roses entwined between the candles.

  “Oh, Mason,” I breath as I walk around the room taking in every detail. It smells like vanilla and roses.

  “Do you like it?” he asks watching me carefully to gauge my reaction.

  “This is beautiful. I love it.”

  “Good, I’m glad. I wanted tonight to be special,” he says as he pulls my chair out for me and then sits down across from me.

  “This alfredo is amazing. You make it better than any restaurant,” I say digging in.

  “I found the recipe I used to use and I went off that. I really had no idea what I was doing but cooking seems to come naturally to me.”

  I wind the fettuccini noodles around my fork. “You know, you used to want to open your own restaurant.”

  “I did? Why didn’t I go through with it?”

  “Well, your father always saw you taking over his business. You didn’t really have another option. He is very controlling.”

  “I can tell. Even now that I can’t remember anything, he is still pushing me at work. I couldn’t imagine that the old me actually enjoying my job there. I don’t want to be cooped up in an office.” Mason’s face starts to fall and I want to change the subject to a happier topic before our night is ruined by his tyrant father.

  “So, what is the special occasion for tonight?” I say finishing my pasta and garlic bread while sipping on my wine.

  “Well, I have been thinking about things, Lucy, and I guess I still don’t understand where we went wrong in our relationship.” This is really happening. He is going to say it. I feel the same way and I can’t wait to tell him. I love this man in front of me. I know once his memory is back he might change a little but I am hoping that part of this new Mason will stay with him. Henry is in my stomach flapping his wings in anticipation. “I know we have had some rough patches but…”

  Here it comes! I have to remind myself to breathe.

  Mason’s face falls from the happy, handsome man that I have grown to love, yes love, to an angry version of himself. His expression changes so fast that it catches me off guard.

  “What’s wrong?” I say trying to keep the panic out of my voice. Is his memory back? Did I just lose this man forever?

  “ELI!” Mason screams making me jump. Oh shit. He only knows about Eli from before his incident. I never mentioned him after. He’s back!

  11. Bend Over and Wiggle Your Cheeks

  “Your memory is back,” is all I can say as Mason stands up and paces around the room looking irate.

  “Eli is the ‘rough patch’ we had in our relationship! I remember it now,” he thunders refusing to look at me.

  “Mason, I am so sorry. Nothing happened between us. We just flirted and he took me out to lunch a couple of times but that was after we separated. Eli is in the past and I haven’t even talked to him since…well, since we’ve been back together,” I mumble feeling ashamed. I wish Eli never happened now, that he never would have tried to sweep me off my feet. He has ruined everything. I have ruined everything. I can feel tears spring into my eyes as I watch Mason march back and forth. He is mumbling something now and I am trying my hardest to hear what he is saying.

  “Please talk to me,” I plead. He doesn’t respond. He just continues to babble. I try again to listen.

  “…I thought I remembered everything already…why didn’t I remember Eli…” Mason mutters to himself. I am shocked at the words I hear and I try to understand their meaning.

  “What did you just say?” I ask Mason, my volume rising with each word. This stops his pacing and he turns his enraged face towards me. He hesitates for a second before he talks. We glare at each other, realization sinking in.

  “I’ve had my memory back for awhile now,” he says through clenched teeth. “But I didn’t remember anything about Eli until just now.” I can’t breathe. He has lied to me and I feel betrayed.

  “How long?” I ask my voice shaking.

  “Since…Mexico,” he says lowering his voice to an ashamed whisper.

  “Since Mexico?” I scream my mind reeling. “How could you lie to me like this?”

  “Me?” Mason says with an accusing glare. “What about you with Eli? You never mentioned that one did you?”

  “I bet that girl you brought home that started this whole thing meant a lot more to you than Eli did to me!” I shout barely able to control myself.

  “I’m out of here,” Mason says whirling past me and grabbing his keys. He slams the door and I see his BMW screech out of the driveway. I can’t believe how our night turned out. All I can do is crumple to the floor. And cry.

  It seems like I am on the floor for hours but I know that it has only been a few minutes because the candles in my line of sight haven’t dwindled down any. It’s got to be a fire hazard having hundreds of candles burning in one room with no one there to watch them. I know that if something caught on fire at this moment, I wouldn’t be able to move to get out of the house. The only thing I can think to do is call Drey.

  I stand up feebly and shuffle across the room wiping my nose on my arm. I grab my phone and call my best friend.

  “Hey, I was going to call but I was afraid I would interrupt your passionate sex-“

  “Drey,” I breathe cutting her off. “Please get here quick.”

  “Oh, Luce. I am so sorry. Did that jerk ruin everything?”

  “Ruined,” is all I can spit out.

  “I will be right there.”

  I hang up the phone and shuffle back across the room to the fireplace mantel. I stare right into the flames of the candles trying to melt my mind, my memories, my new love for Mason. My plan doesn’t work so I try to blow out the candles.

  “Pfft. Pfft.” My attempt at blowing out the flames is horrific. I’m sure I resemble a two year old trying to blow out my birthday candles. Hardly any air comes out of my mouth, but spit is definitely the majority of substance flying out. I wipe off my chin and slump to the ground.

  Things were going so well. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten so close. The door flies open and I can see that Drey is holding the spare key we keep under the mat and a bottle of wine. She looks around the room for a second and then locks eyes with my pathetic watering gaze.

  “Oh shit,” she says setting everything down on the floor and coming over towards me. That expression seems to be used frequently today. “What happened?”

  “Well, Mason knows about me and Eli.”

  “You and Eli had a third grader relationship. He brought you flowers and cut out paper hearts for you. You guys didn’t even kiss.”

  “I know but he was furious.”

  “Wait, did you tell him about Eli?” Drey asks finally catching up with the plot. As I shake my head, realization flits across her face. “He has his memory back and he didn’t tell you. That bas
tard!” she screams and I couldn’t agree more. Drey is the best friend to have in this situation. She will stick on my side through everything and burn whoever crosses me. “How long has he had it back?”

  “Since Mexico,” I say dropping my face to my hands. “I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I didn’t catch on to his game sooner.”

  “Why did he wait so long to tell you?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know why he acted the way he did at all. Not only did he not tell me he had his memory back, but he continued to be so romantic, and caring, and…loving.”

  “You loved him again didn’t you?” Drey asks but it’s not really a question. She can see by the tears pooling in my eyes what my answer is. “I’m going to let you cry for three more minutes and then we are getting drunk.” I smile a little through my tears as she wipes them away from my eyes. Drey’s eyes wander around the room. “I have been in this situation before. He either wanted to do some pretty kinky things tonight, or he was trying to commit arson. And let me tell you, it is never option number two. I guess there was that one guy but…you don’t want to hear that story tonight. I called Kara and she will be here in the morning. She said Mason was just pulling into the driveway when I called so he must be staying there.”

  I look at my tear stained red dress and realize how pathetic I must look. “Ok. I am done crying for now. I want the wine.” I can see the light at the end of this gloomy tunnel and the anger of the betrayal is setting in.

  I drain the first bottle of wine so fast that Drey doesn’t even bother filling my glass anymore. She just hands me the newly opened bottle.

  “Why does he have to be so smexy?” I say barely able to feel my tongue. The words come out so fast that I have a hard time comprehending what I am even saying. I don’t even know what smexy is.