Rules of the Road

by K. Aten

  Jamie smiled, delighted that Kelsey had admitted to missing her. “Aww, I’m sorry Kels. I would have been there to snuggle you but we both had to get stuff done last night.”

  “I’m pouting.”

  “You’re adorable.” And Jamie knew that her girlfriend was adorable. Perhaps the most adorable woman she’d ever known.

  Kelsey was in her own car pouting just as promised. She loved that she could hear the affection in Jamie’s voice, even over the terrible little speaker of her phone. She remembered her conversation with her friend Tam the night before and relayed the invite to her girlfriend. Just thinking the word made Kelsey smile. “Hey, I was chatting with Tam last night and they invited us both to their annual end of July barbecue.”

  “I’m pretty sure your friend Tam hates me.”

  Kelsey glanced at her phone and switched lanes to position herself for the approaching exit. She responded. “She doesn’t hate you. Why would you say that?”

  “She wasn’t too fond of me at the surprise party last month.”

  “Was it only last month? That seems crazy, doesn’t it? I feel like we’ve been dating so much longer. And Tam has been my friend for a long time, so she tends to be over-protective. She’ll be fine though, I promise.”

  Jamie smiled in her own car as she easily slid back into the center lane. “Me too. All right, I’ll trust you, Kels.”

  KELSEY PROVED RIGHT on the day of the barbecue. Tam did corner Jamie at one point in the afternoon, under the guise of taking the blonde a beer. She looked up at the androgynous engineer. “So, you and Kelsey huh? I gotta admit, I’ve heard plenty about you, Schultz.”

  Jamie looked down at her seriously and shook her head. “I’m sure you have. Everyone has a past. Say what you need to say, but get it all out now because no matter what you tell me I’m going to give you the same answer.”

  Tam narrowed her eyes at her. “And what answer is your answer? That it’s none of my business?”

  The blonde smiled and her face was transformed in an instant. There was nothing anyone could tell her that would tear her away from Kelsey. “I love her and I would give anything to stay in her life.”

  Kelsey’s friend and old college roommate peered at her for a minute after that to gauge sincerity and eventually found what she searched for. Her stance relaxed and she held out her beer to clink bottles with Jamie. “Welcome to the family, Jamie.”

  THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY found Jamie and Kelsey chatting on their way home from work. “So did you find out why your class was cancelled last night?”

  “Apparently our instructor and his assistant both came down with chicken pox.”

  Jamie raised an eyebrow as she logged a vehicle into the app that was stopped on the side of the road. “And neither one had gotten them before?”

  “I guess not.”

  They continued talking with the app for a while until Jamie had to sign off in order to run errands. She texted Kelsey after dinner.

  Hey, since you’re not sore, would you be interested in going to a movie tonight?

  Jaaammmeeesss! I’m already in my sweatpants!

  Jamie laughed and texted back.

  Would you like to come over to my place for a movie?

  She waited a few seconds for Kelsey to send another text. When it came through the blonde cracked up laughing. It was a picture of Kelsey on the couch with not one, but two cats in her lap. The caption was what had her laughing hardest though.

  Apparently I couldn’t move even if a fire swept through the building because...cats.

  Jamie debated on what to do then sent another text.

  How would you like me to come over to your place for a movie?

  Bingo, we have a winner! PS – throw some popcorn in your overnight bag because I’m all out. Love you, see you soon!

  There was no one around to see her shake her head in astonishment at the way she had just been played. “Well done, Kels, well done.” She suspected that Kelsey’s troublesome cats were also in on the scheme. But she also didn’t waste any time packing an overnight bag and grabbing a box of microwave popcorn on her way out the door.

  FRIDAY ON THE way home from work Jamie excitedly messaged the rainbow car when Kelsey logged into the app. “Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow night?”

  “Hello to you too, nerd. And I might have to check my busy social calendar and let you know.”

  Jamie snickered. “Oh, you mean go home and ask Newman and Pierre if they mind skipping their Caturday night knitting class?”

  “Ass! Did you just think of that yourself?”

  “Yup! Seriously though, my coworker Bill had two extra tickets that he won through a raffle for the comedy show downtown.

  He offered them to me and of course I said yes.”

  “And what if I had said I was busy?”

  Jamie smiled and joked with the woman on the other end of her app. “Then I’d ask my other girlfriend to go with me.” She expected Kelsey to call her an ass again, or make some other remark, but there was only silence on the other end, a silence that continued for a few minutes. Suddenly she remembered that Kelsey had also been cheated on in her previous relationship and that her trauma was a lot more recent comparatively. She hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. “I’m such an idiot!” She quickly swiped down on the screen. “Hey, you know I’m only joking, right?”

  The voice that came back to her seemed forced. “Yeah, sure I do. You were just kidding.”

  Jamie couldn’t leave it like that. She had to try again. “Kelsey?” She waited for a response.

  “Yeah?” Kelsey’s voice was flat.

  “I have never loved anyone like I love you, not even Gayle. And I have never felt safer with anyone in my life, the way that I do when I’m with you. You’ve got me all the way, understand? I’m all in with us.”

  Kelsey was about fifteen minutes behind Jamie on the highway and her stomach had initially flipped a few times at the offhand comment about asking her other girlfriend. She didn’t realize until that moment how much her previous relationship had colored the current one. Jamie’s words after that nearly made her cry. They had spent many hours talking, many nights up late telling each other about their pasts. She knew that Jamie had always been loyal in previous relationships, as had Kelsey. And it was also Jamie’s words that prompted a wave of affection to sweep through her. Kelsey sniffed and decided she needed to check her menstrual app to see if she was getting ready to start. She quickly reassured her girlfriend that she was not a psycho who was overly-sensitive about the smallest things. Even though she probably seemed that way just then. “I believe you, and I’m in all the way too. I’m sorry I got weird for a second.” She smiled at Jamie’s response a minute later.

  “It’s okay. I’m a nerd and I love weird so, you know, it’s all good! Now about the tickets?”

  Kelsey smiled at her sweet, if nerdy, lover and responded to the question. “I’d say it’s a date, but only if you wear one of those bow tie combos you know I like so much. Just text me the details when you get home.”

  “Will do!”

  THEIR DAYS PROGRESSED that way with lots of conversation and many mini-dates between them. One week later found them chatting on the way to work. It was Friday morning and Jamie was nothing but nerves. She had finalized her decision the previous night in a frantic texting session with her hairdresser. Truthfully she had been thinking about the change for a while but hadn’t worked up the resolve to actually schedule the appointment. She was two weeks early for her regular cut and color but sometimes you just had to step outside your box and break the rules.

  Because Jamie was nervous and distracted Kelsey beat her to the morning greeting. “Good morning, nerd. Are you ready for tonight? Do the drag kings pack underneath their outfits? I’ve always wanted to know what the bulge was.”

  Jamie started choking on her coffee as Kelsey’s cheery voice came through her sound system with its very naughty question. She grabbed some napkins out of her do
or but luckily the coffee only spilled on her jacket. “Seriously woman, you just made me choke on my coffee again!”

  “I told you when you met me that you should learn how to swallow better instead of spitting all the damn time!”

  Jamie waited for an entire ten seconds, then she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She responded with glee. “That’s what she said!”

  Kelsey’s snort came back to her. “Ass! And you didn’t answer my question.”

  “I guess you’ll just have to wait until later to find out. Now you’re still planning on staying at my place tonight, right?”

  “Yes ma’am I am! I’m riding with Tam, Shell, and Jenn to the club. I’ll put my overnight bag into Olivia. Burke is coming into town early and riding with you to the club two hours before the show starts, so he’ll save us all a table near the stage.” There was a few seconds pause after Kelsey’s message finished, then her cute little whine came on again a minute later. “Why can’t I just go early with you and Burke?”

  Jamie smirked at the abundant curiosity that Kelsey had displayed on a nearly daily basis when it came to the drag show. Specifically, Jamie’s outfit and routine for the drag show. She tried to ease some of the curiosity. “Because Burke will be running the lights for the stage. We’ve got everything all worked out. It’s going to be fine. Trust me!” A response came back a few minutes later.

  “So why are you so nervous then? I can hear it in your voice.”

  The blonde sighed as she signaled to get over out of the middle lane then answered her girlfriend. “Because I’m always nervous before performance. Because what if I forgot my words, or my moves, or even the entire song?” Before she could forget her news with another bout of show-oriented nervousness, she relayed information about her afternoon. “Hey, we’re not going to be able to talk on the way home after work.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She tapped the custom shifter underneath her fingertips then reached up to reply. “I’m getting out of work a few hours early so Richard can give me a last minute trim and style.”

  “Really James? It’s only been a few weeks. Oh, and watch out for the dead skunk in the center lane.”

  Jamie laughed. “Did you find it with your tire?”

  Kelsey’s bold voice huffed back to her through the sound system. “No, I was in the far lane, thank you very much. Had I been in the center lane I would have nailed that sucker before I even knew it was there! See? I keep telling you that sometimes you have to break your ‘˜rules of the road.’”

  After a glance to see that there was indeed an object on the road listed just ahead, Jamie quickly changed lanes. She did not need Olivia smelling for the evening ahead. She responded once she was safely around the smeared and reeking hazard. “Ha, ha, my rules work very well for me, thank you!” She drove along for another minute before she thought of the other thing she needed to tell Kelsey. “And just as an FYI, I’ll be pretty busy today since I’m leaving early but I’ll text you whenever I can.”

  “Aww, you’re pretty sweet when you want to be. Such a loving little nerd!”

  Jamie thought about Kelsey’s words and responded with nothing but the truth. “Only with you.” They didn’t say much more during the drive, which was probably good for Jamie’s concentration. She was already focused on her commute, her current project at work, and the choices she’d made concerning the evening ahead. Jamie grinned, nervous but still resolute. She was definitely all in.

  “ARE YOU SURE?” Richard stared at Jamie through the mirror from his place just behind the chair. “I mean, your hair looks great the way it is.”

  Jamie reached up and ran her hand through the blonde locks on top of her head. Then she met his sympathetic eyes. “I can’t move on with my future if I’m still living up to past expectations.”

  He nodded. “Sweetie, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say truer words.” He started fussing with the top. “I may have to tweak the style just a bit with such a dark shade, but it will look great! Let me just go mix the color. I’ll be right back.” A few minutes later he returned with a little cart that had the bowl of paste and various brushes on it. “It’s been a long time but I think I remember what your original hair looked like.” Ten minutes later he had her coated and moved off to the side to set. She texted Kelsey on her phone while she waited and Richard did a trim on a few other clients. She felt nervous butterflies all the way until he had her dried and styled and spun the chair around so she could see it in the mirror.

  She couldn’t speak for an entire minute. It had been a long time since she last saw herself with dark hair. At least ten years. She continued to stare at the foreign face in front of her and felt something break free inside her. “That’s it.” He looked at her curiously. “That’s all that was left tying me to her. It’s taken me five years but I think I’m finally back to just being me.”

  Richard smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Honey, you’ve always been you. But she put a patina over your shine for the longest time. We just cleaned you off a bit.” He jokingly brushed off her shoulder with his hand. “So what are you performing tonight? You know I’d totally be there if I could but I have tickets to see Wicked and I’m not giving those up for anything! Besides, you know some queen will want her face immortalized and will have a video of the entire show posted online. I’ll watch that.”

  Jamie smirked into the mirror and ran a hand through the nearly black mop. “You think I could pull off Adam Lambert?”

  A delighted smile came over his face. “Oh girl! I think you will bitch slap Adam and steal all his fans! Now I know we made the right decision. Your lady love isn’t going to know what hit her tonight!”

  She grinned back at him in the mirror, still nervous but more confident than she’d been in years. “I’m counting on it.”

  JENN ACTUALLY LIVED down the street from Tam and Shell so she just walked to their place. The three of them picked up Kelsey from her apartment. They arrived at quarter after six so they’d have time to order a pizza from the kitchen and eat before the show started. Kelsey didn’t see her girlfriend anywhere but found Burke seated on a high box where the spotlight was located. “Hey handsome, have you seem Jamie?”

  Burke broke out into a smile and swung down from the box like a monkey. “Kelsey! How have you been, beautiful?”

  They hugged and Kelsey couldn’t help flashing her dimpled smile. Not only had she gained an amazing girlfriend, but she had also made some great friends through that girlfriend. She had discovered over the months since she’d come to know Burke and Jenn that they were both very real and wonderful people. Even if they were making bets on the outcome of Kelsey and Jamie’s relationship. “Things have been really great lately.”

  He gave her a knowing look. “Yeah?”

  Kelsey blushed. “Yeah, she makes me smile so much, it’s crazy!”

  “Good for you, Kels! You two deserve each other because you’re both good people and you’re just too damn cute as a couple!” He gave her another one armed hug and laughed as she blushed even darker.

  “Thanks, buddy.” She looked around one more time. “So do you know where Jamie is?”

  Burke smiled because he knew a secret that was going to shock everyone. “Yup. She’s in the dressing room upstairs but no one can go up there unless they’re performing tonight. So you’re just going to have to wait to see your sweet Baboo.”

  Kelsey chucked him in the arm. “You’re such an ass! Fine, I’ll just go back to our table and eat pizza while I patiently wait for her to come down.” She watched him for a beat longer but he wasn’t giving anything away. After a few seconds of his infernal smirking she sighed and gave up before turning back to the table. She got there just in time to hear the bickering start.

  “Y’all know I can’t eat that, right?”

  Tam looked at Jenn like she was crazy and Shell just shook her head. “What? It’s just cheese, onion, and mushrooms! There is no meat at all on this pizza”

&n
bsp; Jenn gave the short butch woman an irritated look. “How long have we been friends?”

  “About six years, why?”

  “And have you ever known me to eat cheese?”

  Tam pointed at her triumphantly. “Yes! You eat cheese whenever we go to Brick Road for pizza!”

  Jenn sighed and Shell gave her wife an eye roll. Kelsey put a hand on her long time friend’s shoulder. “Tam Tam, you know that’s vegan cheese, right? It’s not regular cheese.”

  Tam turned to look up at her. “What do you mean it’s not regular cheese? Cheese is cheese!”

  “And what is cheese made of?”

  The shorter woman thought for a minute. “Milk? And uh, yellow magic?”

  Kelsey snickered and Shell finally stepped in at least figuratively since they were all seated but Kelsey. “Babe, you’re right in that regular cheese is made from milk. But vegans don’t believe in eating anything that comes from animals. So that means milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, meat, and a lot more. Do you understand now?”

  “Oh my God!” Tam whipped her head around to stare at Jenn with horror. “What the hell do you eat, woman?”

  Jenn wiggled her eye brows in response. “Yes.”

  Tam wore her confused look well, but Kelsey had also tried it on. “Huh?” Shell started laughing before an explanation could be given so Jenn elaborated.

  “Yes, I eat woman.”

  “Oh fecking hell!” Shell snickered to herself because Kelsey had started to pick up Jamie’s favorite phrase. Unaware of the scrutiny, Kelsey continued her rant. “Seriously, you are all crazy!” Kelsey turned to Jenn specifically. “I already checked ahead of time and the bar has a small vegan menu. Just ask the server.” She shrugged. “I mean, it’s probably only twigs and berries but at least you’ll have something.”