Secrets and Shadows

by L. T. Marie

  “Is it coming back?”

  “You killed him? Why? He had a family—a daughter, for Christ’s sake!”

  “He was weak. All he talked about was how he wished he could be like you. He wanted a command, but instead the only thing he was able to do was put air in a tire. I did his bitch and that little brat a favor. Just like I’m going to do to Gary’s and…” He paused, looking down at Jo’s unmoving body. “What is she to you anyway? Have you fucked her yet?”

  Lee pulled her gun in one fluid motion. She didn’t want to ask the next question but she needed to know the answer. “The bomb…inside the building that day in Ramadi. Was that you too?”

  “Yes.” He laughed wildly and clapped his metallic hands like some kind of evil child. “You remember.”

  “Why? Why the fuck would you kill our men?”

  “No.” He pointed the remote at her. “I killed your men. Do you think I didn’t know how they talked about me? How I was the butt of their jokes? I got trapped that day too, you know. I’d been ordered to set traps a few blocks away to keep out the insurgents but saw my opportunity to get rid of you so I took it. You kicked the door in and it fell on me as I was preparing the next bomb. I barely managed to get outside when the bomb blew. I lost my arms in that explosion, but at least I got rid of all of them. I took away what you cared about the most. That asshole Gary talked nonstop about his precious girlfriend and showed us all her picture all the damn time. He didn’t deserve her. Now Tory will be mine, and this time I’ll make sure there aren’t enough pieces of you and your little bitch for the coroner to put together. I get everything I’ve ever wanted and you can go to hell.”

  Fury swept through Lee like a tidal wave. She hadn’t been a casualty of war. She was purposely targeted—she and her men blown to pieces by one of their own. She’d lost her career, her friends, and her job, and she refused to allow this man to take anything else from her. Suddenly, the soldier she had been in Iraq returned with a vengeance. Her hands stopped trembling. Her eyes became eagle sharp. Her breathing was steady and barely discernible. Teigs must have sensed the change, because he suddenly looked a bit less confident.

  “Move and I’ll kill everyone!”

  “Not if I kill you first.”

  Teigs pointed the remote in Lee’s direction. Simons jumped out from behind one of the bushes and managed to knock it from his hand. Lee covered Jo’s body protectively with her own, shielding her from the chaos going on around them. Simons lifted Teigs off the ground by one hand and threw him into a nearby tree, where he hit with a thud. Teigs surprised Simons and pulled a knife from his pocket, thrusting it into the larger man’s calf. Simons howled in pain and Teigs lunged for the remote just as the sound of a gunshot split the air.

  Teigs looked stunned as he crumpled to the ground, the detonator falling from his hand. Covered in a splatter of blood and tissue, he appeared lifeless, one solitary hole directly between his eyes.

  “Thanks, Sarge,” Simons grunted, letting out a shaky breath, his hands pressed to the knife wound.

  “You’re welcome and we’re even,” she said, suddenly remembering where she’d first met Corporal Ted Simons. He’d been the one to pull her from the building that day in Ramadi. Simons had saved her life. But in and out of consciousness, she’d never actually spoken to him. And he’d respected her enough as a fellow soldier not to mention it when she’d met him at the West home. He nodded at her in acknowledgement.

  “What the hell happened here, Winters?” Agent Steele came skidding around the corner and stared at Teigs’s body.

  “Agent Steele, glad you finally decided to join the party. And I kept a promise,” Lee said as she dropped to her knees and examined Jo’s injuries. She brushed a dirty strand of hair away from her eyes. Jo groaned and Lee had never been so glad to see someone come around.

  “You came,” Jo said weakly, touching Lee’s forearm.

  “Of course I did,” Lee said, trying to contain her raging emotions. She wanted to kiss Jo but didn’t think it wise with the new bruises on her face. Besides, everyone was watching.

  “Oh, my God! That crazy guy with the weird eyes. Is he dead?”

  “Yes,” Lee whispered, “but don’t look.” She didn’t realize how much she’d missed Jo until she had her close enough to touch. She shielded her from the commotion going on all around her, trying to protect her emotionally as well as physically.

  “Lee. What about Tory!?”

  “Safe inside. But we need to get you checked out. Steele,” she said looking over her shoulder, “where the hell are the paramedics?”

  “Two minutes out.”

  “See, you have to wait.”

  “Lee, please. I can tell my ribs are probably broken again, I have a killer headache, and my face hurts like hell. But please. I need to see her. To know she’s okay.”

  “All right,” she said, placing one arm under Jo for support. She couldn’t deny her anything, even though it was against her better judgment. “Hold on to me and let me do all the work. Ready?” She hoisted Jo to her feet, steadying her until she got her bearings. They were about to walk toward the shed when Tory emerged, sobbing into Gary’s shoulder.

  “Tory!”

  “Jo?” she wiped her eyes. “Jo!” Tory ran to her and flung her arms around Jo’s shoulders. Lee remained close, looming over the sisters like a guardian angel.

  “Are you okay?” Tory asked.

  “I would be if I could breathe,” Jo said as Tory released her.

  “Oh. Sorry, Sis. Are you sure? I was so scared. When he dragged you from the room…”

  “Yeah, never better,” Jo said, kissing Tory’s forehead while keeping her eyes locked on Lee.

  “Is that fucking freak show dead?”

  “You betcha. Thanks to my bodyguard.” Jo smiled up at Lee, who smiled back.

  “Once again, you’ve proved beyond a doubt that you’re invaluable, Lee,” Tory said as Lee blushed. “Now can we get outta here? This place gives me the creeps.”

  Tory began to move away as Jo and Lee stood strong, a foot apart from one another, studying each other uncertainly. Tory excused herself, mumbling something about rejoining Gary.

  “I wasn’t sure if you’d find us in time,” Jo finally said, looking as if she wanted to run her hands down Lee’s body and make sure there were no holes in it.

  “With you in danger, how could I not?” Lee’s voice was raw with emotion. She’d almost lost her, the one person that made life worth living. As she stood looking at Jo, she didn’t want to hide behind any more barriers. She wanted to tear them all down, to try to be the person Jo thought her to be. She wanted everything Jo had to give, and she wanted to prove that she would never take the chance of losing her again. “We should go.”

  “Yes, we should, but not before you make me a promise.”

  “What promise?”

  “Promise me when we get back that you won’t disappear again right away. That you’ll give us a chance to talk. Please.”

  Lee pulled Jo into the security of her arms. She didn’t give a damn what other people would think. “I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chapter Twenty-six

  The next day Jo pulled into Lee’s apartment complex and turned off the engine. She’d wanted to meet up earlier, but Lee had said it would take a while for the police to question her regarding the shooting, though she was almost positive no charges would be brought against her due to the circumstances. When Lee had called to say she was finished, Jo had hurriedly said good-bye to Tory, leaving her and Gary at the house to talk about where their relationship was headed, if anywhere at all.

  Gary had cried when Jo had returned the wallet-sized picture of Tory that Lee had taken off Teigs’s dead body. He thought he’d misplaced it while serving in Iraq and remembered showing it off to the guys one evening, but he wasn’t sure how it fell into Teigs’s possession. Gary told Jo in confidence that he didn’t know what the future held for him and Tory, but for the first
time in a long time he was starting to believe in the possibility of one.

  She’d paid close attention to Gary and Tory’s interactions and was beginning to understand that all soldiers really were alike. They’d sacrifice everything to protect the ones they loved, even if that meant keeping themselves apart. She’d wasted too much time thinking about herself during this whole ordeal and not enough time considering how Lee had spent her life before she became a part of it.

  She finally understood what kept Lee’s walls up, what kept all soldiers from sharing their pain. They had to prove they were strong. But more important, they had to protect the ones they loved even if they had to suffer to do it. She wanted Lee to know that she would never have to suffer alone any more. She would be there for her always and forever, if she let her.

  “Lee, open up,” Jo said as she knocked on the wooden door separating her from all she loved. The longer the door went unanswered, the more Jo feared that maybe Lee had changed her mind. Maybe she’s not home. Maybe she left me again. Maybe—

  “Hey.” Lee yanked open the door and, for the first time, her smile was open and unguarded.

  Jo didn’t wait for an invitation. Instead she pushed her way into Lee’s apartment and waited in anticipation for Lee to close the door. The second the lock clicked into place, she threw her arms around Lee’s neck and pulled her down for a kiss, throwing all her passion into that one heated meeting of lips. Her ribs protested and her face hurt, but she didn’t care. Lee was the balm for her aching mind, body, and soul.

  “Wait.” Lee gasped.

  “I’m tired of waiting. Tell me you don’t want me or this?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t what?”

  Lee lifted Jo’s chin so she could press her lips to Jo’s. “Can’t tell you no.”

  The kiss started out slow. It was a kiss that spoke of understanding and a knowledge of being with the person who challenged your mind and connected with your heart. It spoke of promises yet to come and days filled with new memories. When they broke for air, the shadows faded and the world was brighter than it had been in a long time.

  “We should talk,” Lee said before her legs nearly buckled from Jo’s firm but insistent strokes against her chest. It felt like Jo’s hands were everywhere at once, and Lee’s whole body was on fire with desire.

  “Yes, we should and I promise we will. But this second, the only thing on my mind is to be naked and in your arms. What do you say, soldier?”

  Lee answered with a groan and walked Jo backward toward her bedroom, kissing her lips, cheeks, neck. Jo pulled Lee’s shirttail from her trousers, and her abdomen tightened under the tingle of Jo’s nails raking over the skin.

  “Your body is a work of art.”

  “Hardly. You’re the beautiful one.” Lee gently laid Jo onto the bed and helped her strip out of her clothes, mindful of her injuries. She then stripped quickly before lying astride Jo, throwing a muscled thigh over her non-injured leg. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Don’t worry, darling. You won’t.”

  Lee propped herself up on her good arm and trailed kisses down the side of Jo’s neck with her tongue and teeth. “God, you taste and smell incredible. I’ve dreamt of this moment every night.”

  Taking her time, Lee covered every square inch of Jo with soft kisses and firm strokes of her hands. Jo hissed as Lee sucked on one of her nipples, releasing it with a pop.

  “Bite me,” Jo said, pushing her nipple farther into Lee’s mouth. Jo reached for one of Lee’s hands and placed it between her legs.

  Lee slid two of her fingers up and down Jo’s clitoris, exalting in the wetness against her palm. She gently tugged and Jo gasped, but refused to enter until she begged.

  “Oh no, you don’t.” Jo grasped Lee’s hand and thrust two fingers inside her. “You can tease me all you want another time. I’ve waited for you long enough. Yeah, that’s right, baby. Make me yours.”

  Lee buried her face in the crook of Jo’s neck and thrust deeply into her. Jo’s body greedily engulfed Lee’s hand, but Lee still held back, afraid of her strength, afraid of hurting Jo when her own need was so great.

  “Deeper,” Jo moaned, her hips meeting every one of Lee’s thrusts.

  “I want to. Believe me. But I’m scared of my hunger for you.”

  Jo looked deeply into Lee’s eyes, the pure look of desire and lust nearly sending Lee over the edge. “When will you understand, you’re all I need. You can’t hurt me. Loving me can’t hurt me, sweetheart.”

  Lee flipped onto her back, positioning Jo above her to straddle her hips. She kept her hand buried deep inside her and grasped her hips with her free hand to hold her in place. Jo leaned forward and Lee took a rose-tipped nipple between her teeth. She matched every bite on the firm tip with a matching stroke over Jo’s clitoris, and every pull was in time with the thrust of Jo’s hips that buried her hand deeper and deeper until she felt Jo’s passion crest. “Let it go. Come for me, baby.”

  “I can’t stop. I…oh.”

  Jo rode Lee’s hand frantically and the muscles around it began to tighten and tremble. Moisture dripped down Lee’s arm and onto her belly as she pushed farther still. But it wasn’t enough. Thrusting into Jo and holding nothing back, she held on tight as Jo’s muscles spasmed, enveloping her fingers in the warm, tight cocoon of Jo’s ecstasy.

  Jo pitched forward and braced both arms above Lee’s head. She thrust hard onto Lee’s hand, crying out as Lee strummed her thumb rhythmically over her clitoris. “Yes, right there. Oh…don’t stop.”

  “Never.”

  Lee nibbled on a pebbled nipple as Jo’s entire body tensed on the brink of exploding again. Screaming out Lee’s name, Jo rode out wave after wave of pure pleasure, but it still wasn’t enough as a stronger, more powerful surge built deep inside. Sensing Jo’s need, Lee stood up and cradled Jo with her good arm, pinning her against the bedroom wall. With the added support of the wall behind them, Lee surged against Jo, brushing her own clit as well with every thrust of her pistoning hips.

  “That’s it, baby.” Jo panted. “It’s yours. Take it.”

  They cried out as they orgasmed together, riding the waves of ecstasy hard and fast. Since her legs were shaking, Lee decided they’d better lie down again. With Jo’s legs wrapped around her hips she moved them back to the bed and lay beside Jo, pulling her tightly to her side.

  “Beautiful,” Lee whispered, holding Jo’s trembling body.

  “Wow,” Jo said. “That was incredible.”

  “Yeah, it was. You okay?”

  “Never better,” Jo said, tracing the outline of Lee’s sculpted abs. Lee groaned, the touch unleashing the desire she had kept trapped inside for a long time. “But you’re not. Seems someone needs attention.”

  Lee gasped when Jo’s fingers entered her without warning. She felt Jo slide between her legs. “Oh, God,” Lee said, grasping the sheets. “I want you so bad it hurts.”

  “Not for long.” Jo moved her tongue along Lee’s clitoris as Lee rewarded her with a groan. “Like that, do ya?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is this for me?” Jo pulled back the hood, toying with Lee, who squirmed above her. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  Lee tried to focus but every nerve ending in her body had suddenly come alive. Jo licked her slowly, teasing around her clit up and down in no particular rhythm but refusing to touch her where she needed it the most. She wanted to answer but lost the words on a strangled plea.

  “Tell me what I want to hear, sweetheart.” Jo used the tip of her tongue to toy with Lee’s clit once more.

  “Please, baby. Do that…a little harder.”

  “Tell me what I want to hear or I’ll make you suffer.”

  “Harder…press harder.”

  “Not until you tell me what I want to hear.”

  “Christ, can’t think. Need you to…suck me.”

  “I will. I promise.” Jo licked her again. “Now once more, is this for me?
”

  “Yes, it’s for you. Only for you. Always for you.”

  The second Jo took mercy on Lee and took her into her mouth, Lee’s back arched and she came with a shout. Jo held on, only releasing her hold when Lee quieted and sagged against the sheets. When Jo moved to recline in her arms, Lee pulled her close and closed her eyes, thinking that, for the first time in her life, she’d finally found the place she belonged. She had found home.

  *

  It could have been minutes or even hours later when Lee awoke with Jo cradled in her arms. Glancing down the length of their bodies, she enjoyed the view of their intertwined limbs. She had no idea where their relationship would go from here. All she knew was that there was no way they could go back to the way things were.

  “What are you thinking about?” Lee asked, as she twirled a few strands of Jo’s golden hair between her fingers.

  “That I shouldn’t have allowed you to push me away.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Jo moved so she could look at Lee’s face. She placed a palm on the center of her chest, holding her in place. “Not good enough.”

  “Jo—”

  “Hush…I’m not finished. I was also thinking about how you must be feeling about all of this. I’m sorry I never asked you.”

  “Don’t ever apologize to me for what’s between us. If you want to ask me something, just ask.”

  There it was. The door had been fully opened, offering Jo permanent entrance. “Tell me what scares you.”

  Lee’s breath caught in her throat. What did she ever do to deserve someone like Jo? Words failed her, and to her horror, the tears she should have shed years ago started to fall.

  “Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.” Jo repeated the beautiful statement over and over, holding Lee to her chest. “I know you’re in pain. I can see it in your eyes. But know I’m willing to stand by your side and make the commitment to love you no matter what.”