Love Untamed

by Ra'Chael Ohara

  “I did it in your best interest. He would have dragged you down, just like he will.” She points her manicured finger at Brantley.

  “You’re evil.” I accuse her like it’s the first time I’m realizing it, but I’ve known it my whole life. I just didn’t want to believe it. “I hope you live a long and lonely life. Don’t you ever come near me again.” With that, I grab Brantley’s hand. This time I don’t stop walking until we’re at his truck.

  I’m fighting back tears as Brantley lifts me up and buckles me in. I don’t look at him because I know if I look into his caring, soft eyes, I will lose all the control I have, and I refuse to let Pearl see me break down.

  We’ve only been driving for a couple of minutes when Brantley grabs my hand, and then I lose it. I cover my face with my hands and sob. I feel Brantley jerk the truck to the side of the road. I hear the click of him undoing my seatbelt before he’s dragging me across the seat and placing me on his lap. “Let it out, honey.”

  “I-I don’t kn-know why she hates me so much, Brantley.” I sob in his chest. “All I ever wa-wanted was a mom, a family.”

  “You have one now, baby. Me and you and our little bean. You got James, Charlotte, Mom, Dad, hell, even Gilbert. He misses you like fucking crazy.” He chuckles. Despite my crying, I smile. “You have your family now. It’s awful the way she treated you. It makes me see red to think about how you grew up, but you can’t let Pearl steal another day from you. We are going back to Alaska, and we are going to have the family you always wanted, baby. I love you, Sweet Eva.”

  I realize how right he is. I always thought of Charlotte as a sister, and I didn’t just fall in love with Alaska and Brantley. I fell in love with all of the people Brantley just named. “I love you too, Brantley. Now take me home.”

  “You got it, babe.”

  ***

  Five Days Later

  We’ve been back in Alaska for five days and have only had one major fight. See, my plans were to move back into Robert’s cabin, at least until Brant and I had been together a little longer. Brantley had different plans. I realized this when, instead of pulling up to Robert’s cabin to unload all my crap, we pulled up to his.

  “Uh, what are we doing here?” I ask.

  “What do you mean, ‘what are we doing here?’ You’re moving in,” he says in a ‘duh’ tone. He starts to jump out of his truck, but I stop him when I grab his elbow.

  “I’m not moving in with you, Brantley,” I inform him cautiously.

  “Why the hell not?” he snaps. Yeah, I knew that was going to be his reaction.

  “Because we’ve only known each other for a little while and we just got back together. I think we need to wait a little while before we make that big of a commitment.”

  “Eva, no offense babe, but I already fucked my baby into you. It’s a little late to be pumping the breaks now.” I narrow my eyes at his less than stellar way of putting it.

  “That may be true, but, like I said, it’s only been a short time since we met, and the majority of that time we’ve fought. I just think we should date a little while first.”

  “You don’t trust me,” he says. It’s not a question. It’s a statement. He has a wounded look in his eyes, so I rush to reassure him.

  “That’s not it at all. I trust you. I know you’re serious about us.” I trust him 100 percent. Since the moment Brant arrived in South Carolina, he’s proven how serious he is about us and our baby.

  “Then move in with me,” he says softly, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. I release a big sigh and prepare to tell him once again why I don’t think it’s a good idea when he butts in. “Baby, it was torture without you, and now I know you have our child growing inside of you. Please don’t make me be apart from you guys.” As he says all this, his green eyes get wide and plead with me, and of course my heart flutters. How the fuck do you say no to that?

  That’s how I ended up moving in with Brantley. Later that day, Charlotte called with a similar story and informed me she is now living with James. We both just laughed.

  Now it's five days later and we’re about to tell Brantley’s parents, Gilbert, and Ms. Cummons that we’re expecting. To say I’m nervous would not do my feelings justice. I’m freaking out, but deep down, I know that everyone will be happy for us.

  We’ve all just finished our meal and are sitting at the table, laughing at something James said, when Brantley clears his throat. My stomach flips with nerves when he begins talking.

  “Eva and I have an announcement to make.” When he is sure he has everyone’s attention, he finishes. “I knocked her up!” he exclaims while beaming. My face turns beet red.

  For a while, no one says a thing, and I begin to worry, but in the next second the whole room explodes with joy. I’m being pulled in for hugs and congratulations when I hear Hal ask Brantley if he’s happy. I fight back tears when I hear him reply, “I couldn’t be happier, Dad. She’s it for me.”

  Kim is the last one to hug me, and the tears I was holding back start falling when she quietly says to me, “Thank you.” I scrunch my eyes in confusion. “I haven’t seen Brant smile so much in such a long time. Thank you for bringing my son back. Thank you for giving me a grandchild.”

  “You’re welcome,” I choke out.

  “I’ve always wanted a daughter,” she says through a bright smile, tears in her eyes.

  “I’ve always wanted a mother,” I reply immediately.

  “Welcome to the family, Eva.”

  “Okay, no more making my girl cry,” Brantley says as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his side.

  Kim laughs and stands on her toes to kiss him on his cheek. He removes his arm from my shoulder to wrap her up in a hug. “Congratulations, son.” She sniffles.

  “Thank you, mom.” He chuckles. When he sets her on her feet, she wipes the tears from her eyes and claps her hands to call everyone’s attention.

  “Okay, this calls for cake,” she says, then disappears into the kitchen.

  Brantley grabs my hips to pull me to him, then leans in and kisses me until I’m breathless. “Are you happy, baby?” He mimics his father’s question.

  I smile. “I couldn’t be happier. You’re it for me.”

  Chapter

  Twenty-Four

  A STORY THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING

  I don’t know what made me do it. I’ve driven past this place a million times, but today I stopped. I walk through the small cemetery, reading each plot. I’m looking around, but I’m not sure what I’m looking for.

  I’ve been back in Alaska for a month. I woke up last week to a bump in my belly. It was the craziest thing. I went to bed with an almost flat one, then woke up with no way to deny I was pregnant. I’m happy. I’m so blissfully happy. I haven’t heard from Pearl, and Brantley and I can’t get any closer to each other. I fall more in love every day. I’m happy, but something is missing.

  That’s why I find myself in this small cemetery when I’m supposed to be meeting Brant at The Tavern. Searching. I’m about to give up until I stop at a plot that makes my heart ache when I see what’s written on the front.

  Robert Garcia

  1941-2014

  Beloved Friend and Father

  My eyes blur with tears when I read Grandpa’s name, but the tears fall when I read the plot next to him.

  Maria Garcia

  1964-1994

  Cherished Daughter

  This is why I’m here. I sink to the grass and read the lines over and over. Finally, I reach out my hands and run them over the plots, almost reassuring myself that I’m seeing what I’m seeing.

  My grandpa and my mother.

  “I wish I could have met you. I wish I could have known what you two were like. I wish my baby could meet his great-grandfather and grandma.” Sobs wrack my body and the letters are no longer visible through my watery eyes.

  “I wish I could have known why you gave me up,” I whisper to Maria’s plot before looking at Robert’s pl
ot. That’s when pain hits me directly in the chest, so strong I can barely bare it. I think about what Pearl did, the awful things she wrote. “I’m so sorry, grandpa.”

  “I’m so sorry she said those things to you. I’m sorry you lost your daughter. I’m sorry you died alone. I bet you would have been the best grandpa.” I whisper the last part before emotion gets the best of me again.

  I cry. I don’t know how long I sit there in front of those stones and weep, only stopping when I hear something from behind. I whip around and see Kim walking up to me, tears in her eyes and flowers in her hands. I quickly wipe my tears and try to pretend like she didn’t just witness my breakdown. I can see by the sadness carved on her face that she heard me and everything I said.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she says softly. I bawl all over again.

  “I just want him to know that I didn’t write that, Kim. And I just want to know why she gave me up,” I whimper.

  “Oh, honey.” She gasps and sits down next to me. She places a bouquet of flowers on each stone. When I give her a quizzical look, she says, “I come here every week.” She wraps one of her arms around my shoulders.

  “I knew when I met you, Eva, that you would be special. Not just because you were my best friend’s daughter, but because I saw so much of myself in you.” I have a million questions, but I don’t ask them. I just listen as Kim tells me a story that changes everything.

  “I was a lot like you. I came from money and class, but I didn’t want any of it. I was eighteen when my father came into my room and told me that I was to be married the next day to a man three times my age. I didn’t want that. I wanted to marry for love. My father did not care. It was set and I was to do what I was told.

  “I packed up my bags that night and ran. My destination was Anchorage, Alaska. I only made it to Snowridge when I ran out of money. I was cold. I was hungry. I was terrified. I was about to give up and call home. I walked into a bar and asked to use a phone. When I sat down at the bar to wait for my cab, a man sat next to me. I ignored him at first, but his kind eyes made me relax. He said I looked like a girl with a story. Then he offered to buy me dinner if I would tell him what it was.

  “I did. Afterward, he told me he could help, that he knew a little town in the middle of nowhere. He could fly me there, and he knew some people I could stay with and a place I could work until I was on my feet. All I had to do was trust him. I was leery, of course, but what were my options? Trust the man with kind eyes or marry a man much older than me, a man I didn’t love. So I got on his plane and he brought me here.

  “That’s where I met your grandpa and your momma. I lived with them and they welcomed me with open arms. The first thing I remembered thinking was they both looked so sad. It was later that I learned they lost your grandma just a year earlier.” She points to the stone on the other side of grandpa, where my grandma is buried.

  “How did she die?” I whisper.

  “She had cancer, honey. Breast cancer. Your momma was so sad, just like me. We were kindred spirits and it was no time at all before we were inseparable. She was wild.” Kim laughs fondly. “Always encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone. Much like you and Charlotte. She was so beautiful too. You two are almost identical. Robert, he was like a father to me in no time. I know he felt the same way about me. Until the day he died, he called me his daughter. We were our own family when I came.

  “I became close with everyone in this town so fast. Well, everyone except Hal,” she adds through a grin. I pull back and look her.

  “You two didn’t get along?”

  “Oh no.” She shakes her head. “I loved him instantly, but he didn’t feel the same. From the first day I showed up on his parents’ farm and had no idea what to do, he was ready for me to leave. He thought I was some prissy girl and that I couldn’t hack it.”

  “That’s what Brantley called me.” I smile at the memory now.

  “Like father, like son,” she muses.

  “So, what happened?” I ask eagerly.

  “Well, days turned into weeks, and then months. Hal and I spent a lot of time together on his farm and eventually he came to realize I wasn’t who he thought I was and I realized he was exactly who I thought he was, a man I could spend the rest of my life loving. We married a year later and Brant came after that.”

  “Who was the man? The one that brought you here?”

  “Gilbert.” She smiles. Her smile fades away when she looks at me.

  “I was living my dream, but what I didn’t realize was that your mom was falling apart. She met a man in Snowridge and was spending a lot of time there. She never told me his name. I don’t think she told anybody. For months, she was pulling away from Robert and me until one day she came home and told us she was leaving. Nothing we could have said would have stopped her.

  “At first she would send letters, but eventually even those stopped. One time, about a year later, your grandpa went to South Carolina to visit and try to get her to come back here, but the Maria he went to see was not the one that left here.

  “She was hooked on drugs, and it didn’t matter how much he pleaded with her. She sent him away and told him to never come back. It broke his heart. Life went on, but we never stopped hoping she would come back.

  “It was a year later when our prayers were answered. She came back clean and sober. She went to your grandpa and asked for forgiveness and of course he gave it immediately. It was a week later when she came to me and told me the truth about why she left. She was pregnant with you and the man she was seeing wanted her to get rid of you, said if she didn’t, he would.”

  “Oh my God,” I croak.

  “She couldn’t abort you, but she needed you to be safe, so she fled to South Carolina, and when she had you she gave you up for adoption. It killed her, Eva, but she did it because she thought it was what was best. She wanted to keep you safe, and it was the only way she knew how. She did what she had to do. Even though it killed her. Once you were gone, she tried in the worst way possible to numb the pain. For five years, she hid that secret.

  “But she couldn’t do it anymore. She got clean and came home. She told me she was going to get you back, that she found out some things she couldn’t tell me, but that you weren’t as safe as she thought you were.”

  I know exactly what she was talking about. “Pearl was abusing me,” I whisper and Kim’s body freezes as her eyes well with tears.

  “I’m so sorry, honey,” she croaks. I give her a sad smile and link my arm through hers, silently encouraging her to continue. “Well, your mom went back to South Carolina to get you back. Two weeks later, we found out she was r-run down and was d-dead. We lost her all over again.” Kim cries. For a while, neither of us says anything, just sits there—her, lost in her memories, and me, reeling from new revelations.

  “After the funeral, I told your grandpa about you, and he set out to find you. When he did, he sent letters all the time. Letter after letter, until he got that one back.”

  “I didn’t send it, Kim,” I insist through tears.

  “Shh. I know, sweetheart. Deep down I think Robert did too. He never told us about the letter. We found it when we were cleaning out his house after he passed. Well, actually, Brantley found it, which is why he was so cold to you when you first met. Robert was a grandpa to him.”

  I look back at my mother’s stone and something happens. All those missing, broken pieces fall into place, like pieces to a puzzle. It doesn’t matter that she gave me up. What matters is she came back for me. She was going to fight for me until someone took her from me.

  The only thing left to do is find out who.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Five

  THE DREAM

  My stomach growls and wakes me up from my sleep. Mother, as she makes me call her, forgot to feed me again. It’s dark outside. I bet mom is in her room. If I’m really quiet, I can sneak down to the kitchen and make myself a snack.

  I grab my dolly and slip on my slippers before
creeping down the dark hallway. Once I reach the doorway to mother’s room, I run past as quick and as quiet as I can.

  I wait at the top of the stairs for a few moments just to be sure she didn’t hear. “All clear, Sally,” I whisper to my dolly, the only thing I have left that my daddy got me before he went away.

  I’m down the stairs and almost to the kitchen when the doorbell rings. I suck in a breath and my eyes widen out of fear when I hear the click of mother’s heels coming to answer the door from the kitchen.

  I run real fast into the living room and hide behind the couch with Sally just as mom walks past. When mother answers the door, I hear her say ‘hi’ and then a deep, scary voice says ‘hi’ back. They walk down the hallway until they are standing just inside the living room.

  I can’t see the scary man’s face because his back is to me, but I don’t have a good feeling. I sit as still and as quiet as I can.

  “Did you do it?” Mother asks the man.

  “She’s dead. Just like you paid for.”

  “Where did you hide the car?”

  “I left it in the bad side of town.”

  “You sure no one saw you?”

  “We’re fine.”

  “Good.”

  “I just hope you don’t regret this later on in life,” the man says solemnly.

  “I will regret nothing. She was trying to take her from me. I raised the little brat for five years. I was not about to let her come in and ruin everything. She’s my meal ticket. Maria had to die.”

  “And so she has. Now, do you have my money?”

  “Just a second,” Mother says to the man and then leaves the room.

  I’m so confused. Someone was trying to take me? And now she’s dead? I don’t know what’s happening. I try as hard as I can to prevent the tears from falling, but they still do.

  I watch the man as he walks to the living room wall to look at all the pictures. His back is still to me. Minutes later, Mom walks in with a big white envelope. “It’s all there, Gary. Count it if you want.”