Bittersweet Junction

by Ivy Sinclair

  Ben was living in Benton Hill and dating Sarah West.

  The one who didn’t fit anymore was Julia.

  Hearing the doorbell, Julia saw that the appointed time had arrived. If she could survive the next few hours, surely she could survive anything. Squaring her shoulders, she went to answer the door.

  CHAPTER SIX

  He was nervous. After years of being the one that everyone leaned on for advice and looked to for guidance, Ben had absolutely no idea what to do next. Part of him wanted to slide into the familiar role of friend and confidante, but the other part of him wanted to take Julia aside and ask her what the hell happened between them five years ago. She might have been able to sweep it under the rug, but he hadn’t been able to do the same. He had tried. He felt like she owed him an explanation. He had lied earlier. What happened between them did matter, and now that she was here, he was ready to demand she come clean.

  Determined to find out the truth, Ben strode up the front steps of the Bell house and rang the doorbell. He wasn’t going to let Julia sneak away without telling him the truth. When the door opened though, and he found himself looking into her stormy green eyes, he felt his confidence falter. She looked pale and fragile. He realized that her run in with Sarah earlier was exactly more drama that she didn’t need. He had inadvertently added to her burden. She had a lot more that was about to be thrown in her direction. He could wait.

  “Hey,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were coming over.” She paused and Ben could see that she struggled with what to say next. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

  It was a rare apology. Ben wondered if there was more to her words that she wasn’t willing to admit yet. He held up a bottle of wine. “It’s okay. I couldn’t resist the invitation to join the reunion dinner.”

  Her brows furrowed and she bit her lower lip. Then she pushed the screen door open to let him inside. “More the merrier, I suppose.”

  The subdued tone of her voice spoke volumes. She was trying to accept what was going on around her, but it was taking a toll. Ben stepped through the doorway just as Clary and Mike appeared from the kitchen. As he was just inches away from Julia’s still form, he felt her body tense when she turned and saw Mike standing there.

  Mike looked equally uncomfortable while Clary fidgeted with her hands. Mike dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey, Jules. Glad you could make it.” Mike shifted his feet. “You too, Ben.”

  Ben nodded, but Julia didn’t move. The tension in the room was thick. He gently put his hand on Julia’s lower back and felt her jump. “I think we all need a drink.” He guided Julia to the couch. “Mike, why don’t you help me get some glasses from the kitchen?”

  Mike nodded gratefully. “Sure, good call.”

  Clary settled onto the loveseat opposite her sister. Ben heard the murmurs of low conversation as he and Mike exited the room.

  “She looks fantastic,” Mike exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot.

  Ben punched his arm. “That’s your soon-to-be sister-in-law. I doubt Clary would appreciate you ogling over your old girlfriend.”

  Mike had the grace to look sheepish. “I’m just relieved that’s over. We’ve both seen each other. Now hopefully we can get on with the healing or whatever shit Clary calls it.”

  Ben pulled wine glasses down from the cabinet. He felt as much at home in the Bell kitchen as he did in his own. From the time they were small, their parents let them run rampant through each other’s houses. He felt equally comfortable in Mike’s mother’s house next door. Having something to do with his hands made him feel better. Mike peered into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of beer. As he closed it, Jack Bell appeared on the other side.

  “Ben,” he said. His voice was gruff. Ben could only imagine the strain the old man was feeling. Ben was sure this wasn’t the kind of reunion Jack had hoped for between his daughters. “Kind of you to join us for dinner.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it,” Ben said. “Clary’s been going on and on about needing to make sure we all understand the plan for Saturday. A couple more hours of strategizing before the big day can’t hurt, right?”

  Jack smiled at the familiar topic. Clary had been unable to talk about anything but the wedding for weeks. “I don’t remember her mother being this militant, but I guess it’s just the way women are.”

  Mike took a long draw on his beer. “Tell me about it.”

  Ben rolled his eyes. Mike was hardly subtle in his ineptitude with understanding the fairer sex. He still couldn’t believe that Jack hadn’t killed him when he found out that Clary was pregnant. After Julia disappeared, Jack had grown overly protective of his youngest daughter.

  Ben was reluctant to leave Julia alone for too long. He could feel the tug of her orbit pulling him back to the living room. “Better get back in there before somebody kills somebody.”

  Jack hung back. “Tell Clary I’ll watch the chowder. You all should get reacquainted.” Jack moved to the stove and started to stir the simmering pot on the top. Ben thought that he was looking for an excuse to move out of the line of fire. It was a smart move, and one Ben wished that he could emulate.

  He saw as soon as he re-entered the living room that something was wrong. Julia looked green, and he saw her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides. Clary, on the other hand, looked positively chipper.

  “What did we miss?” He held up the wine glass, and Julia vigorously nodded her head.

  Mike slipped in behind him and perched on the arm of the loveseat. He appeared to stay as far away from Clary as possible without making it obvious that was what he was trying to do. He took another long swig of his beer and stared at his feet. Ben realized that facilitating the evening was falling squarely on his shoulders.

  “I just asked Julia to be my maid of honor,” Clary said triumphantly.

  Now he understood Julia’s expression. He knew that Clary was dying to have her sister stand up for her in the wedding, but he had been hoping she’d give Julia at least a few hours to adjust before she sprung the request on her. Apparently Clary was unable to wait.

  “Oh,” he said, sitting down next to Julia once again. He handed her the glass of wine he just poured, and he saw that her hand trembled as she took it.

  “She said yes!” Clary clapped her hands together and turned to Mike. “Isn’t that great? We’re all going to be together, just like old times. This is perfect.”

  Julia’s wine glass rose into the air. “A toast to the happy couple.”

  Ben was amazed at her turn around. The Julia he used to know would have been stomping her feet, screaming and cursing at the unfairness of it all, and then storming out of the room.

  Clary was out of her seat and across the room before Ben could blink, wrapping her arms around her older sister’s neck. “I love you, Julia.”

  Ben saw the flash of surprise on Julia’s face. Then she hugged Clary back. “Love you back, Clare Bear.”

  Mike finished his beer. “That’s just fantastic news.” His voice was strained. “Oh look at that. I’m out. I’m going to grab another beer.” He escaped back into the kitchen.

  Coward, Ben thought. There was still a lot of reckoning to be done, but the good news was that Julia was going to be in town at least through Sunday. He’d find a way to ask her what he needed to ask her before then.

  “I need to go check on the chowder. It’s Mom’s recipe, your favorite,” Clary said as she unwound her arms from Julia’s neck.

  “That’s sweet, Clary,” Julia said. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble just for me.”

  “We’re just so glad you’re home,” Clary said.

  Ben was going to tell her that Jack was watching the chowder, but he could see that Julia needed a few minutes to get her feet back under her. He smiled and nodded to Clary as the younger woman passed by him. She winked at him and gave him the thumbs up sign. It was difficult to be mad at Clary for long.

  As soon as
Clary passed through the doorway to the kitchen, Julia let out a small sigh. She sank back into the cushions with her hand over her face.

  “Oh my God, what am I doing?” she said.

  “Making your little sister very happy,” he said.

  “This is the worst idea ever, Ben,” she replied, peeking out at him from between her fingers. “How messed up is this situation?”

  “Didn’t we tell you about the Oprah episode lined up for next week?”

  A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. “Oprah or Maury?”

  “Maury’s the following week.”

  “You couldn’t get Ellen?”

  Ben sighed heavily. “Ellen’s booked out for weeks.”

  Julia sat up and bumped his shoulder. “Thanks.”

  “Thanks for what?”

  “You’ve always been there for me, Ben,” she said. “I’m sorry I freaked on you earlier. If you and Sarah are happy, then I’m happy for you. I’m in no position to judge anything.”

  Ben wanted to choke Sarah West. He would set the record straight on that account as soon as it made sense. “Wow. I never thought I’d see the day. You’re growing.”

  Julia huffed and he saw a spark of the Julia that he knew. She took a sip of wine. “No, I’m not. My dad basically told me to get over it and that I needed to be there for Clary.”

  “Wise man,” Ben said solemnly. He should have seen Jack’s mark all over Julia’s new demeanor.

  Ever since her mom died when Julia was nine, she developed a reputation for being the one to take any dare and do everything outrageous. People in town blamed Jack for not being able to keep control of his oldest daughter, but in all actuality the only time that Ben ever saw Julia be meek and deferential was when she was around her father. It happened often because of all the trouble that she managed to get in whenever she was out of his sight.

  Julia twirled a strand of her hair around her fingertip. It was her nervous tick, and Ben couldn’t resist reaching over and putting his hand on her knee to draw her attention.

  “I know the next few days are going to feel incredibly long and impossible. Let me help. As the best man, I have to go to all the same boring events you do, and I am an excellent buffer.” He didn’t know why he was offering up his services to run interference for her, but it felt like the right thing to do.

  “A buffer between me and my sister and ex-boyfriend, or between me and your girlfriend?” Julia asked suspiciously.

  He needed to talk to her about Sarah sooner rather than later, but it could wait. He wasn’t ready to get into that yet. “Does it matter? I’ll help you get through it all.”

  “This is such a bad idea,” Julia said. She stood up and started to pace the room. She lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. Ben could hear the clanking of dishes in the kitchen. Dinner was going to be ready soon. “Doesn’t Clary know this is a bad idea? Isn’t it some kind of bad luck to have your future husband’s ex-girlfriend in the wedding?”

  “You are also her big sister, and that was a long time ago. You and Mike were high school.” Ben wished he could believe his own words. He assumed that seeing Mike brought up a rush of unresolved feelings that Julia still had inside. He thought that asking Julia to be the maid of honor wasn’t a good idea either, but when he told Clary that a month ago, she refused to be swayed. “She doesn’t have anything to worry about, right? It’s not like you came back to get together with Mike.”

  Julia swung to face him, her eyes blazing. “I was coerced here under false pretenses. I thought my father was on his deathbed. I’m not interested in Mike. I can’t believe you’d even suggest that! I’d be gone tonight if I wasn’t being roped into this wedding thing.”

  “That wedding thing kicks off officially tomorrow, and so we have barely enough time to get your dress fitted,” Clary said, appearing in the doorway. “I’m going to need your help with several things, so hopefully you’ll be up for it.”

  Julia’s face reddened. “Sorry, Clary. I didn’t mean it.”

  Clary smiled and continued on as if she hadn’t even heard Julia’s words. “I’ll go over everything and get you all caught up over dinner.”

  “Great,” Julia said weakly.

  Ben stood. He took Julia’s elbow. “C’mon, Jules. Let’s get some food in you. Everything looks better on a full stomach.” He expected her to resist his touch, but she didn’t. He caught a whiff of her shampoo, and it made him want to bury his nose into her hair. He barely managed to restrain himself.

  He caught Clary’s look of gratitude as she turned to lead them back into the kitchen. The Bell sisters were going to be the death of him.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  When Clary asked her to be her maid of honor, Julia almost choked on her tongue. The rest of what her sister said didn’t register as Julia tried to imagine how she was going to react standing next to her sister as she said “I do” and tethered herself to Mike Brewer for the rest of her life. Part of Julia was eternally grateful that it wasn’t her fate, but she didn’t understand how Clary could be so certain that it was the right thing for her to do.

  It was the same old sob story. Girl pines after boy. Boy is on a rebound and hooks up with the girl. Boy marries the girl in misplaced sense of guilt. Girl and boy get divorced after years of a loveless marriage. Boy remarries six months later. Girl ends up an old maid. Layer in that all of this takes place in the eye of a small town, and Julia could see that someday her sister was going to be an embarrassed, lonely old woman. It killed her.

  Even though these were the thoughts running through her mind, her mouth opened and uttered the word that she never thought she’d say.

  “Yes.”

  Then her sister seemed to light up from the inside and Julia didn’t have the heart to take the word back. Just like that, she was trapped in Benton Hill until Sunday.

  She appreciated Ben’s offer to be her buffer, but her dad was right. Julia had to get over it. But she had forty-eight hours to find out if her sister really understood what she was doing. Julia felt like it was her duty to make sure that Clary knew she had options. She didn’t have to marry Mike just because she was pregnant. Julia would even tell her that she could come stay with her for awhile to get away and think.

  Resolved to start breaking down her sister’s fairytale walls as soon as she could, Julia allowed the rant in her head to die off as Ben escorted her into the kitchen. She needed to strategize.

  Even as self-absorbed as she was in that moment, she hadn’t failed to notice the warmth that crept up her body when Ben briefly touched her knee. It was such an unexpected feeling that she forced herself to her feet to give herself some space to breathe. He wasn’t doing anything but falling into old patterns, but Julia wasn’t sure she was quite ready to deal with that yet. Not when her thoughts and emotions about him were so confusing.

  His fingers barely grazed her elbow as he followed behind her. The dining room was on the other side of the galley style kitchen, and when they arrived, she found that her dad and Mike were already seated. Mike’s hulking frame seemed too big for the small room. Julia felt a small measure of consolation that she didn’t feel an ounce of attraction for him anymore. That was good.

  Clary gestured to Julia to sit on her dad’s other side across from Mike. Ben held out her chair for her and then settled into the chair next to her.

  Clary set a bowl of steaming chowder in front of her. “Nothing fancy for your first night back, but hopefully it’ll do.”

  The chowder smelled delicious. It had been a long time since Julia had a home cooked meal. She couldn’t cook a lick and depended on her microwave and delivery for almost every meal. “It’s my favorite. Of course, it’ll do.”

  She saw her father nod his head in approval. So far, she was playing everything right, just like he wanted. It was going to be a fine line, not pissing off her dad but trying to get her sister to see reason. Julia avoided Mike’s eyes altogether and tried to pretend that he didn’t exist.

&nb
sp; “Festivities kick off at nine tomorrow night right, Ben?” Mike asked as he grabbed a roll from the bread basket in front of Julia. “It’s going to be killer.”

  “First things first, Mike,” Clary said, finally taking her seat. Julia noticed Clary rubbing her stomach and wincing. Julia sat up straighter in her chair.

  “You alright, Clare Bear?”

  Clary looked startled and then started waving her hands at the concerned looks from the men at the table. “I’m fine. I ate something earlier that didn’t agree with me. Eat, everybody, eat!”

  Julia could tell that her sister wasn’t going to admit anything further. Julia watched Clary closely as she brought the spoon to her lips. The chowder tasted just like she remembered, and a fuzzy image of Libby Bell sprung into her mind. Julia crushed it as soon as she thought it. Even after all these years, she missed her mother terribly.

  The table rattled as Clary brought a massive book down on top of it. Clary flipped the book open, and Julia deduced from the white lace all over the cover that it was her wedding planner.

  “Ok, so Ben, you are on point for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night,” Clary said. It looked to Julia like she was checking off a list. “We should be done with the rehearsal at the church by five-thirty and so everyone should be there by six. Don’t forget about the tuxes and the rings too.”

  “No problem,” Ben said, his words barely understandable because his mouth was full. “All set.”

  “Dad, you are on deck to pick up the cake. Julia, you’re with me tomorrow. Ms. Bautner is expecting us at nine.”

  Julia vaguely remembered Clary saying something earlier about a dress fitting. Bautner’s Fashions was the only place to get a formal dress in town. “I’m not sure that we have time to find a dress for me,” she said. It would be a lame, but convenient excuse to get out of the wedding. As organized as Clary appeared to be, Julia could only imagine her chagrin if her bridesmaids’ dresses weren’t perfectly matching in her wedding pictures.

  “Don’t worry. I ordered your dress months ago. We just need to do final alterations. Ms. Bautner promised to work on it through the night if she had to,” Clary said.