Through a Mother's Eyes
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I thanked Julie for her invaluable contribution. We talked as friends for a while longer. We talked about Charley. The time that we had spent together had been difficult and emotionally draining. We hugged and said goodbye.
During the interview, I was able to remain objective and detached. It wasn’t until after Julie had said goodbye, and I sat in Ms. Waters’ office that it affected me. Ms. Waters asked how I was doing.
I couldn’t answer her. She left me alone to decompress.
7
I didn’t know Charley. This will be the briefest chapter much like Charley’s lifetime. In all of the discussion of why, we do need to take a moment to focus on a little boy. In my search for understanding, I was asked by one of the police officers who was at the scene that day––Who will speak for Charley? I will try.
According to the autopsy report, he was case number MEH-1109-96. He was born on February 23, 1990, and was pronounced dead on November 6, 1996, in a room inside a hotel in Orlando.
Little Charley will not have the opportunity to go to high school or college. He won’t meet a young girl, fall in love and raise a family. He will not have the chance to succeed in business, or the arts. Unlike other boys his age, his dreams of being a fireman, policeman, or President of the United States...are over.
His kindergarten class remembered Charley. So did his first grade teacher and his classmates who crafted the memorial below his picture.
All of the other Orlando police officers that were on the scene remember Charley. He affected their lives deeply I can assure you by the response I received while doing the research. They remain attached to him in a unique way.
There is Chuck, Charley’s father, who mourns his son every minute. And who wishes the hands of time could be drawn back so that he, Julie, and Charley could be given a second chance.
Julie lives with a monumental regret, remorse, and guilt that no mother should ever have to live with. If Charley had passed away by any other means, it might, might, have been easier to live with. But he perished at her hands. She thought she had done the right thing. Thought she was saving Charley from a fate worse than death. She will relive the nightmare every second, of every minute, all the rest of her days.
STONE: Do you think he looked like his father, or like you?
JULIE: He, um, I think he was going to be built like Chuck, not real tall, but he had, uh, my blue eyes and light hair.
STONE: Boys usually look like moms; girls like their fathers.
JULIE: Yeah, my daughter looks like her father. And Charley looked like me. And we liked all the same things. We were both animal lovers. We had a, a whole menagerie of iguanas and everything else.
STONE: Iguanas?
JULIE: Yes.
STONE: There’s going to be a specific chapter on Charlie. Is there anything you could tell me about him?
JULIE: He is a beautiful little boy, very smart, articulate, funny...and he had a ferocious temper, but never with me. He would stop immediately when I walked in, or if mom called me at work to talk to him over the phone and calm him down. Sometimes, he would sneak upstairs at moms and call me at work to come get him. I always did and brought him back to work with me. He was very loving, loved everything, and trusted everyone. He was as much my protector as I was his. I had numerous confrontations with my parents while living there. They would always say, “you better stay home from work tomorrow and watch your son.” I’d have to wake him up at 5:00am and take him to work with me––blankets and all––and make him a bed back in my office, and then let him watch videos back in the day care room. But when they were like that, I would never leave him with them.
STONE: Did he like baseball?
JULIE: He loved baseball. He loved to rollerblade.
STONE: Did he have a lot of friends?
JULIE: Yeah.
STONE: Neighborhood kids?
JULIE: Yeah.
STONE: Did he like school?
JULIE: Very good student, they, uh, tested him for gifted classes. He didn’t, um, make it into a gifted class because of his attention span. He is he was, um, it was weird, I mean, they always saw it in school. But I never saw it at home. He was kind of, maybe, a little hyper but, um, I never understood it because he could go through all the books and sit for 2, 3 hours and read through books. Well, they were testing him for gifted classes and, um, because he was able to read and, um, he was doing a lot better than average children, but I don’t know if he couldn’t...they said he couldn’t sit still. I don’t really remember exactly what she had said. He couldn’t sit still long enough, or something like that.
STONE: What color was his hair?
JULIE: He was kind of a, a, kind of light to medium. I thought medium blonde. I have some good pictures of him.
STONE: Blue eyes?
JULIE: Yes, big blue eyes.
STONE: And a great smile.
JULIE: Yeah.
STONE: He looks very happy in the picture I have.
JULIE: He was always happy.
STONE: What’s your favorite story about Charley?
JULIE: Charley and I snuck off together a lot. I use to pull him out of school early all the time and we would go off to the Sanford Zoo, Disney, and never told anyone – though my dad always knew. When my mom found out she would be mad. She said to me one night, “someday, you’re going to lose that boy!” I hated her for that––it was like a curse. There wasn’t anything that I didn’t like about Charley. He was, we were so, so close, he... When we moved back to mother’s we always slept in, slept in the same, you know, big bed. He, we, just did everything together. He, we, went to the beach.
On Charley’s last day, Julie tried to make it the best of his days by doing with him all of the things that he loved. She cradled him, cuddled him, read stories with him because Julie loved him. And Charley he loved her.
Solutions
Julie believed there were no alternatives––no family, or friends. She developed a tunnel vision and believed that she and Charley were alone. She believed that only she could solve the problem, and she never reached out for help. That was the tragic family philosophy that she grew up with––What happens in the family, stays in the family. But that simply is not true––we all are family.
If you are in distress and contemplating taking your life, or the life of your child, use the information provided below. You do have options. The following options are available in a crisis all that is required is to ask for help! Don’t be afraid. Don’t be embarrassed, or ashamed. Julie made a tragic mistake in not talking to someone about what she was experiencing. The result was that Julie made the wrong choice––a devastating choice––and a little boy paid with his life for it.
Get to safety and call 911
Call your local DOMESTIC VIOLENCE “SAFEHOUSE” number.
Call your SPOUSE ABUSE INTERVENTION number.
Call SUICIDE and CRISIS INTERVENTION.
Call NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Call the hotline for NATIONAL RESOURCE CENTER ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
1-800-537-2238
Call the AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION, Commission on Domestic Violence:
1-202-662-1737
Internet Resources
Depression Information Center
National Institute of Mental Health
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
Regarding spousal abuse, there are several legal options available to you including civil litigation. You can consult an attorney to receive free counseling about your rights and the legal protections available to you. Remember to save evidence. Take photographs of your injuries, and have them witnessed, signed, and dated. Seek medical attention, and ask the attending physician to document the injuries you suffered. Retain torn and/or bloody clothing. But do not take the law into your own hands! You will face criminal charges and prosecution.
You can go to a fam
ily or domestic-relations court without an attorney, and you can get a restraining order issued by a judge. You can file a criminal complaint in a criminal court. Have witnesses, sworn affidavits, medical and police reports, and photographs to support your claim.
www.Law.com.
As you can see, there are many options available to you! There are thousands of trained professionals who can help, or guide you when it’s needed the most. All you have to do is ask for help. Don’t hesitate. Don’t be afraid.
Your child’s life is priceless, and unique. Don’t let Julie’s choice, be your biggest mistake... please.