Leave Me Breathless

by HelenKay Dimon

  A chill ran through her at his dead tone. Gone was the light banter and the deference he’d always shown. The act disappeared and in its place stood a twisted young man with a motivation immune to common sense and rational argument. That left brute strength. She’d have to beat down the churning inside her, that tightening sensation that might freeze her to the floor, and go after him on a physical level. Get the jump and hope it was enough to combat whatever superior strength or nasty weapon he might have.

  She shifted slightly. As he talked, she pivoted, moving even with his side. One step closer to a mad dash to the wood block on the counter.

  “Do you want something to drink?” she asked, trying to throw him off balance emotionally.

  Instead, he grabbed her arm and squeezed hard enough to drive her to her knees. “You ruined everything.”

  “Scott, you’re hurting me.”

  “You brought this on. You know, I actually liked you until you started staring at Ben like he meant something to you.”

  She struggled to break free, but Scott only held on harder. “He doesn’t.”

  “Once you started sleeping with him, you became my plan.”

  She tried going limp to give Scott a false sense of being in charge. “For what?”

  “Revenge.” Scott dropped her arm. From inside his jacket, he took out a knife of his own and slid his finger along the blade. A small bead of blood appeared on his skin. If Scott felt the cut, he didn’t show it. “I’ve been plotting and waiting. Taking my time and getting close.”

  “To Ben?”

  “Of course, you dumb bitch.” The snarl, the rabid anger, took over. The knife cut through the air and far too close to her face.

  She held up her hands, letting him think she’d surrender. Pleading with him seemed to be what he wanted, so she gave it to him. “I’m sorry. I just don’t get it. Can you tell me why?”

  “You know.”

  “I don’t.” She had a guess, but not the actual answer. “Tell me.”

  “He destroyed my family. Put Dad away and left me with that crazy slut.”

  Bile rushed up the back of Callie’s throat. This anger festered and grew. Now it was a living, breathing beast fueling all this uncertainty and destruction.

  “You mean, your mother?”

  Scott shook his knife at Callie. “She gave birth to me. She was never a mother. My dad took care of me. He went to my games. He helped with homework and got me to school. She sat around spending his money.”

  Hate spewed out of Scott. It was as if the venom and rage had been locked away, building, and now flailed around trying to get out. Anger filled the room, sucking the air right out.

  “Ben was the judge.”

  “You’re damn right.” The blade whipped right in front of her face.

  The move gave her the perfect out. She backed up closer to the counter. “Listen to me.”

  “Setting up Rod was the easy part. He despised you. When he realized you were sleeping with Ben, he went out of his head crazy with it. He thought you pushed him out, took away his star mentor. A few well-timed comments and I could set him off anytime I wanted. Made it easy to get into his office and poke around on the computer.”

  Her foot slipped closer to the kitchen. “And the bomb?”

  Scott was too engrossed in his story to notice she was within an arm’s reach of grabbing the knife. “I found the information, built it. It’s not hard to get the right people to take care of jobs like that. You pay some money to plant it by making them think it’s something other than a bomb and keep your identity quiet. They panic when they realize what they’ve done and stay quiet. I don’t even know the guy’s last name but he did me a favor.”

  “But your unknown partner missed.”

  Scott leaned in, his lip curling up in a sneer. “No. The plan was just to scare the judge. To let him know someone was watching, someone who knew the kind of weak man he really was. I did it, too. Hell, the former military hero couldn’t sit at his desk without a security detail. What kind of man is that?”

  “So you wrote the notes.” Tramping down on the fear racing through her, she put her hands behind her, searching with small movements for the edge of the counter.

  “I wanted Ben to know how it felt to lose something. Someone. My plan was to toy with him and then take Emma out. Watch him buckle without her there for him.”

  “But I messed everything up.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw her front door move. The slight waver could be a dream. Blinking, she cleared her sight line and saw it happen again.

  Either the adrenaline caused her vision to bounce, or someone was out there. She’d bet on Mark. She knew she couldn’t count on Ben, but for this—law enforcement stuff—the Walkers were solid. She needed seconds only. A diversion and a good throw and Scott would go down without incident. The energy flowing through her would get the job done. The crash later would be a bitch, but after the fight with Ben, she didn’t see many bright days ahead.

  “He fell for you.” Scott said it as an accusation.

  She shook her head. “He didn’t.”

  Scott’s mouth pulled tight at the edges. “Yes. He. Did.”

  Her finger touched the cool marble behind her. With a quick mental inventory, she placed the knives without seeing them. “Is your plan to kill me?”

  “I feel bad about that, but the judge needs to know how it feels. He can’t destroy people, the cocky bastard, and expect to go on as if nothing has happened.” Scott stepped in front of her, only inches away. “You’re different.”

  “I’m not.”

  “I see the way he looks at you. Taking you out will break him. With you I can accomplish more than I ever hoped to gain with Emma.”

  “Scott.” Mark’s firm voice rang through the room.

  Scott jerked toward the door just as Mark stormed in with Ben right behind him.

  She’d never get a better chance. Reaching around blind, she grabbed for a handle. The cool plastic hit her palm and she kept moving. She brought the blade down in an arc just as Scott shifted to the side. His voice an insane cry, he thrust his body toward her. Off balance and shifting his wild gaze between her and Mark, Scott missed his aim. The knife slipped passed her close enough for her to feel the whoosh of movement.

  But her tip made contact. As his body moved through the air, flying in front of her, she went for his shoulder. Unable to stop his momentum, he came down right on her knife. The stab went into the space where his arm met his neck. Blood spurted as Scott’s eyes flew open in stunned surprise. Just as he reached up to touch his injury, Ben came out of nowhere and clipped Scott from behind. The tumbling tackle sent the men crashing to the floor.

  Mark yelled. Police flooded the room. Chaos reigned as sirens screamed in the distance and people filed in and out, stopping to talk to her. All the words ran together. In a fog, she had no idea what anyone said or why.

  Everything moved in slow motion. She saw the flash of Ben’s stern face as he made his move. Then she saw Scott pinned to the floor with Ben looming above him.

  “Ben, stop.” Mark yelled the order as he pulled Ben from behind.

  It took two men to wrestle Ben off Scott and another one to hold Mark back from taking a turn at going after the kid. The surreal scene of blood and violence played out before Callie like a movie. She’d taken Scott out and then the cavalry arrived to finish the job in a wild frenzy.

  “Are you okay?” Ben held on to her arms and shook her until she looked at him.

  The confused haze refused to clear her mind. Scott. Ben. Everyone here, and none of it made sense.

  “Callie?”

  She ignored Ben’s pleas to get through to her and concentrated only on the medic who knelt on the floor tending to Scott’s injuries. That mental image was safe. It wouldn’t break her heart or leave her weeping on her bathroom floor. Looking at Ben, seeing his loving face, knowing he would never give her what she needed or what they both deserved, would shake the last of her tenu
ous control.

  She stood seconds from falling apart. Seconds from slumping at his feet. The shock, the emotional drain of watching Ben walk out—it all backed up on her. She wanted to crack a joke and act like none of it mattered. But it did.

  “I caused all of this.” Ben said the words over and over.

  He pulled her close, his arms closing around her as she stood still and tried to hold her body from his. She clenched her palms into fists to keep from touching him.

  “God, Callie, talk to me.”

  “This was all about a divorce case. A stupid, bitter case that ended years ago.” The neutral thought comforted her. She didn’t even realize she said it out loud until she heard her strained voice.

  She would focus on that. On the reason, no matter how insane, rather than on the pain lancing through her when she inhaled Ben’s familiar scent.

  “Ben, let me.” Mark pried Ben’s hands off her and stared into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  The numbness eased. She could talk to Mark. He wouldn’t destroy her or use her. “Yes.”

  Ben’s face crumpled. But she knew the way his shoulders slumped and his eyes darkened with sadness, none of that was real. It would all go away as soon as he got over his feelings of having failed to protect her. That was stupid. None of what happened with Scott was Ben’s fault. Scott was a messed-up kid, fed a steady diet of hate by his father, and grew to be a vengeful, confused young man. They had all prevented a horrible tragedy that day.

  No, the guilt beating down on Ben was misplaced. He made many mistakes, but not that.

  “I want everyone to leave.” She needed to build up her resistance. To find a place where she didn’t see Ben’s face every time she closed her eyes. She needed to act like she didn’t care, but right now she didn’t have that sort of strength.

  “You can’t stay here.” Mark’s voice was strangely gentle. “This is a crime scene.”

  “She can come home with me,” Ben said, his voice eager for the possibility.

  The time for her to play the role of his sexual plaything had passed. “No.”

  Anguish radiated off Ben. “Callie, I know you’re mad at me, but be reasonable.”

  She ignored his words and his desperate pleading. “Mark will take me to a hotel.”

  Mark nodded. “Of course.”

  “Are you fucking crazy?” Medics and policemen turned to Ben at his outburst. “She can’t be alone.”

  “I need space.” Somewhere without Ben and without memories, where she could work it all out in her head and figure out how a kid like Scott had gotten so confused and dangerous. She’d never understand Ben’s choice, but she could learn from Scott’s.

  “Can I talk with you?” Mark didn’t give Ben a choice. He dragged him back into the kitchen. “You’ve got to back off.”

  Ben’s throat burned with the need to throw up. Hearing Scott’s words as he flashed the knife at Callie stole the last bit of peace Ben would ever feel in his life.

  Seeing her broken and pale almost killed him.

  Desperate to get back to her, he nodded. Ignoring Mark was the only way around him at this point.

  Mark shoved against Ben’s shoulder to get his attention. “I’m serious here. Whatever you did to fuck this up so bad with her, you need to fix it. But later.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “I’m not giving you a choice.”

  The despair overtook him. Ben hated himself for being so damned stupid. He wanted her. Missed her. Didn’t want to see anyone else and couldn’t imagine a life without her. When she talked about love and the future, he’d been too dumb or too scared to realize he’d already fallen for her. Admitting it made it real, and once it was real he could lose it all. He had anyway.

  Call it by whatever name, the dull ache inside him wasn’t going away. Within a short time he met the one who could mean everything.

  And now he had to tell her. To break through that blank stare and make her listen. He just hoped he hadn’t blown it by pushing her away emotionally one time too many.

  “She left me, Mark.” Ben couldn’t believe how much it hurt to say it.

  The stern frown left Mark’s face. “I figured, but damn, I’m sorry.”

  “She said I was like you.”

  Sadness fell over Mark’s eyes. “Man, don’t be like me.”

  “Let me go to her then.”

  Mark shook his head. “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s too late. She just left with one of my men.”

  Emma heard her front door open. Since the alarm didn’t go off and the earlier call from Mark was to report that Scott was in jail, she didn’t panic. But she did get pissed off. She had laid down her requirements and Mark had walked out. Now he thought he could return to his old ways. Breeze in after a brush with danger and make love to her.

  Every cell in her body wanted him to come in, hold her, give her those few moments of love before he gave in to the less permanent state of passion. She deserved better.

  She wrapped her robe around her, holding it at her middle with one arm, and met him at the top of the steps.

  “What are you doing here?” She asked in her most detached voice.

  He glanced up. The light from the entry lit his tired face. “What do you think?”

  “We’re not doing this again.” A sob rushed up on her from out of nowhere and caught in her throat. “I can’t do it.”

  “You told me to make a decision.”

  “And you did.”

  “No, you assumed I did.”

  Her heartbeat took off. “What are you saying?”

  Without a word, he dropped two suitcases at the bottom of the staircase. Then he turned around and walked out of the house, leaving the front door wide open.

  Cool air rushed in from the dark night, but she didn’t hear a sound. “Mark?”

  He came back with two more suitcases and another bag thrown over his shoulder. Glancing up, his eyes met hers. With bags in his hands and weighing him down, he put his foot on the bottom step.

  “What is this?” She dared to hope.

  “Me moving in.”

  “You’re telling, not asking?”

  He climbed a few more steps. “Yes.”

  Blood pounded through her. “I don’t remember inviting you.”

  “Maybe not with your mouth, but you asked.” He stood a few stairs away now, dragging luggage behind him.

  She closed her eyes in relief. Somehow, some way, he had read that signal. For years he missed every single one. This time, when it mattered and her will held firm, he came back. He was the one to concede.

  “I don’t know what kind of man I’ll be to live with full time, or why you would want to find out, but I know one thing.” He dropped the bags in his hands and let them fall back down, thumping against each step as they went.

  “What?” she asked, more than a little breathless.

  “I want to figure it out with you.” He trailed his fingers down her cheek. “If you’ll have me.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Not about much but about you, yes.” His gaze never left her face. “Still love me?”

  Emma smiled through tears. “Always.”

  He smiled right back. “Good.”

  Chapter Twenty-six

  “What do you want?” Callie asked the question from the doorway of his office. She didn’t come in. Didn’t close the door. Just stood there fuming in her proper navy pantsuit.

  Three days had passed. After the time apart, Ben was so damn happy to see her that he didn’t even care about the off-the-charts attitude.

  Relief spread through him. Safe and in one piece just as Mark promised.

  Ben lowered his pen to the desk to keep from snapping it in two. With a wave of his fingers he motioned for her. “Come in.”

  She didn’t move.

  “Problem?” he asked, half worried that she’d give him a list.

  “I don’t appreciate being summoned to
your office.”

  “I left a voice mail.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “You told me to come or you’d hunt me down.”

  “That might have been unnecessarily dramatic.” Inside he knew the vow rung true. He would find her and make her listen. Drive anywhere and say anything to get her back.

  “Sounds like your typical jackassery to me.”

  He never thought he’d miss her name-calling, but he had. As sure as he’d missed the floral scent of her perfume and the soft touch of her skin against his, he missed that mouth and all she could do with it. That included both her bedroom skills and her sharp wit.

  She pushed him, challenged him. Even through the bickering and fighting, being near her made his day brighter. The dark hours of the past few nights had taught him that. He finally had a name for the feeling—love. Took him a long time and a lot of hurt to get there, but he made it. He loved her and wanted to keep loving her, starting right now.

  He pointed at the seat on the other side of his desk. “This would be easier if you came into my office and sat down.”

  Her hands didn’t even twitch. “In case you’re not clear, I don’t work for you anymore.”

  “According to you, you never did.”

  “True.”

  They finally agreed on something. At this rate, he might have found the only thing. “So, then…?”

  “My point is that the days of following your endless orders are over.”

  “What did I order you to do exactly?” He searched his mind for one instance of bossing her around and came up blank.

  Her snorting and rolling her eyes? Interesting to see that she still excelled at those skills. He was smart enough not to reciprocate. She’d likely have kicked him in the balls if he tried.

  After a few seconds, she glanced around the room. Her stare settled on her desk, which still sat next to his. Elaine had tried to move it out. He refused. Holding on to some part of Callie was imperative until he could hold all of her. Ben didn’t tell Elaine that, but he sensed the older woman understood the issue.

  “I didn’t come here today so you could stare at me with that stupid look on your face,” Callie said.