by Carter, TK
I was ten minutes deep into The Breakup Mix playlist and covered in body wash when Dani’s ringtone cut the music and interrupted my Tony memory buffet. Dread took the place of annoyance. This must be bad. I slipped out of the shower, suds and all, and grabbed the phone. “Dani?”
She giggled. “Don’t sound so worried. We’re ten minutes out. Alissa wants you to be ready to roll when we get there.”
I took a deep breath. “Sure, is she okay?”
“Oh yes, she’s fine. See you in a bit.”
I sat the phone down and finished my shower in record time. Dani sounded way too happy, so there must be good news in there somewhere. Maybe it’s twins. I shuddered with the thought and looked at Chubs. “What do you think, Chubs? Think they’ve been drinking without me?” I dressed and dried my hair enough to make it look like I didn’t just jump out of the shower before twisting it up in a loose bun. Two soft curls fell and framed my face. Tony loved it when I wore my hair up—he liked to twirl his fingers in those very curls that bounced beside my face. God, that man adored me, and I blew it. I finished my makeup and headed downstairs to wait on the deck for whatever that carload of crazy was bringing my way.
Exactly ten minutes later, Alissa and Dani walked up all grins and chattering like squirrels. I studied Alissa’s eyes—the telltale window to her soul and found euphoria. I raised my eyebrows and grinned. “Good news today?”
Alissa climbed the stairs and threw her arms around me. “It’s a boy, Chance. He’s a boy. Like, not a girl.”
I hugged her and laughed. “Well yeah, that’s usually what a boy means. Oh, thank God.” I hugged her tighter and whispered, “That’s great, Alissa.”
She nodded but didn’t speak as she pulled away from me. “Let’s celebrate!”
I waved my hands across my body. “I’m ready for anything. Where to?”
She grabbed my hand and handed me the keys. “Everywhere. We’ve got shopping to do.”
A boy. She’s having a boy. The curse is broken, and before me stood my friend. She reappeared before me as though God Himself had draped an Alissa cloth over her and stripped away the anxious woman she’d become. We drove through Naples singing at the top of our lungs and laughing when someone flubbed the words. We Googled every baby shop in Naples and didn’t give two shits when I turned on the wrong road and ended up on a one-way street. Even Dani was laughing and seemed to be her old self again. If these two could do it, so could I. The countdown to being Tony-free was on.
We walked through charming boutiques and oogled over extremely overpriced clothing while loading our arms with the must-have items for a child that we wouldn’t even meet for at least fourteen more weeks.
I tossed Alissa’s bags in the trunk of the Navigator. “Um, this trunk was pretty packed on the way down here. How are we going to fit all this in here and a baby?”
“We’re going to strap you to the luggage rack,” Alissa said. “We already talked about it.”
“Oh nice. I’ll be the figurehead of the highway.”
Dani laughed. “Yes, but you’ll be so pretty with your flowing hair.”
I pointed at her. “I’ll look much prettier on a flight.”
Alissa laughed. “I figured I’d ship a bunch of stuff home a few weeks before we leave so it will be there when we get back.” She looked at me. “Chubs won’t mind FedEx, right?”
“Ha-ha, very funny. I’m starving. Anyone else hungry?”
Dani faked a faint. “Dear God, feed me before I implode.”
Alissa raised her hand. “Count me in for two for lunch.”
We decided on Olive Garden—hardly Florida ethnic, but we all wanted soup, salad, and breadsticks. When Dani excused herself to the bathroom, I swooped in on Alissa. “Okay, we have four minutes. Spill it.”
She smiled. “It’s a boy, Chance. I feel like I could fly to the moon and back shouting to the heavens how grateful I am that this baby isn’t a girl.”
“I know that part, but what about the rest?”
Alissa patted my hand. “We’ll talk about all that later. Right now, we celebrate the breaking of my family’s curse.”
I’ve always admired Alissa’s ability to turn her emotions on and off like a light switch. One little flip and she just quits feeling. She’s the queen of being able to enjoy a moment and not allow anything else to interfere with that little sliver of time when she’s happy. I could learn a lot from her. But not today. Tomorrow. We’ll work on that tomorrow when I start my Tony detox. I looked at her. “Today is the last day I’m going to think about Tony.”
She sipped her water. “Think you’ll be able to pull that off?”
I shrugged. “Sure. You can do it, so I can too.” I smiled and picked up my glass. “Cheers. Here’s to new starts all around.”
Dani returned to the table and asked, “Did I just miss a toast?”
I smiled and lifted my glass. “I’m toasting to new starts. Tomorrow, I’m done thinking about Tony.”
She arched an eyebrow. “But not today?”
I smirked. “Well, I just mentioned his name, so technically I can’t start ‘til tomorrow, right?”
She sipped her water. “Or you could just call him.” She peered over her glass and winked.
I sat my glass on the table. “No, that’s not how this works. In this chess game of love, I’m black, and he’s white. Which means one of us loses in the end.”
Alissa pointed at me. “But you hate to lose.”
I offered my best change-the-subject grin. “Indeed I do.”
Dani asked, “What if he’s changed his mind and that’s why he keeps trying to contact you?”
I swiveled in my chair and mumbled, “Where is that waiter?” I looked at Dani and slumped in my chair. “I don’t know, Dani. Can we please change the subject? Let’s talk baby names.”
I ignored Dani’s searching eyes and eventual glance at Alissa who nodded and gave me reprieve. Dani took the cue. “Baby names? Gosh, I have no idea. I can give you a list of names it won’t be, would that help?”
I winked. “Crossing off all the names of the douchebags we’ve dated or married over the years would be a nice place to start.”
Alissa chuckled. “That ain’t no lie.”
“I’ve always liked traditional names,” Dani said.
“Like George, Albert, or Ralph?” I winked at Alissa who laughed into her napkin.
“Oh, God, please not anything like that, Dani,” she gasped. “Otto.” She laughed again.
Dani laughed. “No, nothing like that. Names like Jacob, Edward . . .”
I interrupted, “Or Carlisle or. . . Alissa, what was that other vampire’s name in Twilight?”
She whimpered through a giggle, “Jasper.”
I slammed my hand on the table. “Jasper! Yes!”
Dani waved at the waiter. “Excuse me, I’m going to need some wine to put up with these two today.” She pointed at me. “Are you in?”
“Hell yes, I’m in. Bring a bottle.” I bit my lips and gave Dani my best puppy dog eyes. “I’m just kidding.”
She waved her napkin at me. “Oh, stop with the big eyes. You creep me out when you do that. I’ll have to think about the name. Alissa, what do you think about using your last name somewhere?”
“Franklin? Oh, hell no. I don’t want to punish the little guy like that.” She turned to me. “I have an idea.”
I frowned. “The last time you said that, I had to change careers and zip codes.”
She laughed. “No nothing like that. The best way to get over one guy is to. . .” She extended her hand to me to finish.
“Buy fabulous shoes and eat ice cream for supper?”
She slouched. “No. You need to find another guy. One down here. A hot Floridian would take your mind off he-who-shan’t-be-named.”
My stomach dropped, but I played along. “Should I stand next to a construction site and fake a broken ankle?”
“Be serious, will ya? Think about it. You meet a new
guy; he sweeps you off your feet, and whammo. You’ll be saying ‘Tony who’ in no time.”
Like that would ever happen. “So I’m going to find someone else to play with and potentially break his heart to get over my broken heart? Need I remind you I’m only going to be here for few more months then we’re going back to Missouri?” Sure. Fall for a guy that lives far away. No, that doesn’t sound familiar at all.
“You don’t have to go back to Missouri,” Dani said.
Alissa gaped at her. “Um, yes she does. If she stays, I stay. And if I stay, you stay. So . . . oh! I got it. What about online dating?”
“What? Ew, gross! No way.”
Dani leaned across the table. “Chance, listen to me. You are stunningly beautiful, smart, and sharp as a tack. It won’t take long for you to find someone if you put yourself out there. But I’m begging you to forget she ever mentioned online dating.”
I laughed. “Already forgotten. How the hell did we make this turn back to me? I thought we were picking out baby names.” The waiter showed with the wine. “Oh thank god. Pour it up, bartender.”
Alissa said, “I’ll stick with water, but thank you.”
He grinned at her. “No celebrating for you?”
She offered a sly smile. “Not today.”
He stared a little longer than normal and nearly overfilled my glass. I said, “I hate to interrupt, but that whole bottle won’t fit in my glass.”
He pulled back the bottle and moved to Dani’s side with a blush creeping up his neck. After he filled Dani’s glass to an appropriate height, he took our order and scurried to the kitchen to retrieve our salads and his ego.
I shook my head. “Alissa, he could be your boy-toy while you’re in Florida.”
She laughed. “Yeah, because single guys are super hot to bang a pregnant lady.”
I smirked. “You never know. At least he knows he can’t knock you up.”
She turned to Dani. “What about you? Think you’ll start dating anytime soon?”
She waved us off while sipping her wine. “I have no interest in going back down that road. Besides, I’m about to meet the perfect male. And if he pees on the floor, I can spank his ass.”
I glanced at Alissa to see her reaction, but she took it in stride. Maybe she really is doing okay with all this. I looked at Dani. “I get where you’re coming from. There’s a lot of appeal to being single.”
Dani nodded. “When Barry left, I felt like I was staring at this vacant black hole of a future. Same day, day after day, only to wake up the next morning and realize it was going to be the same day all over again.” Her eyes misted. “But when Alissa . . . now it feels like that last perfect piece has completed my puzzle.”
Alissa smiled at Dani and asked, “You’re not nervous at all?”
Dani chuckled. “Nervous? I’m scared to death! What if I can’t make him stop crying? What if I get sick? What if he gets sick? This is all so foreign to me, but I know mothers do it every day, and I want this so badly.”
I said, “And, we’ll all be around to help you, too. It’s not like you’re going to be alone in this. Katie and Michelle have years of experience and itchy palms for babies.”
Alissa said, “And, I’ll still be in the picture. Not a leading character. More like a best supporting actress.” She grinned. “It will be fun to buy boy stuff for a change.”
An awkward silence drifted across the table. Dani and I sipped our wine while Alissa stared longingly at my glass. I threw off wine etiquette, drank a little faster, then refilled the glass.
Alissa grinned. “Someone’s on a mission.”
“What? It’s good wine.”
Alissa mumbled, “Mmhmm. Okay, I’ll break the ice. Dani, we probably need to talk about the boundaries when the baby is born.”
I peered over the rim of my glass and took another drink. I alternated watching the two mothers’ faces and waited to see how this showdown would go. Dani glanced at Alissa and cleared her throat. “I don’t know what boundaries are appropriate, Lis. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, probably more than you’d give me credit for.” She smiled. “I’ve wondered if joint custody would be better than a total adoption.” She held her breath and waited for Alissa’s reaction. I held my breath, too.
Alissa frowned. “No, I don’t think that’s an option, and here’s why. I think a child needs a mother—one mother. I can be the cool aunt who swoops in and makes you look like the overbearing jackass.”
Dani’s relief poured out in her giggle. “Would you like to hear something that plagues me?”
Alissa sat back. “What?”
“What if he looks just like you? There’ll be no denying anything if that happens.”
Alissa’s face blanched. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
I fanned my face and wiped my lip. “Damn, wine always makes me so hot.” I refilled my wine glass. “Look. Alissa, no offense, but I think your ego is inflated a little bit. You may be one of the wealthiest women in Columbia, but no one really knows that. The only people who may put two and two together already know your big secret. And besides, there’s no shame in admitting that you surrogated Dani’s baby if people start asking questions. No one has to know that you got knocked up by Señor Fucknut.”
Dani chuckled. “You’re so eloquent when you’re drunk.”
I gasped and spat, “I am not drunk. It’s midday. I don’t get drunk during daylight hours.”
Alissa pointed at the bottle of wine. “You’ve downed half that bottle in less than ten minutes. You might rethink your last statement.”
I looked for the waiter. “I just need to eat. What the hell takes so long to get fucking salads on a plate?”
Alissa shushed me. “Chance, it’s the lunch rush. We’re not in a hurry, but if you keep that pace, you’ll be passed out and miss the sunset.”
I scowled at her. “I’ll be fine after lunch.” I reached for my water. “I’m not drinking this because you suggested I slow down. I’m thirsty.”
Alissa laughed. “Okay, Chance. It’s your reality. Live it how you like.” She winked at Dani. “Ten bucks says she’s passed out by seven.”
“You’re on.”
After lunch and another bottle of wine at the house, I was toast by suppertime. I participated in the walk of shame to my room and threw myself on the bed to end my misery. I made a mental note to either quit drinking altogether or start drinking more to build up a tolerance—at that moment, I was voting for never drinking again. Damn that wine.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The Song Remembers When
Michelle
Three Months Later
I gave Brandon’s T-shirt a few hard flips then smoothed it against my stomach. The evidence of my failure to fold laundry for a week rippled across the shirt. I sighed and tossed it in the re-tumble basket that was already overflowing. This pile of laundry was the last thing to tick off the to-do-before-my-flight list. My bags were packed, four days of food were prepared in the fridge, and Katie had already texted me four times today counting down the hours. The plan was for her to pick me up right after work, head to the airport and be in Naples by nine-thirty tonight.
My thirty-fifth birthday was last Saturday, March 14. It was a moderately uneventful day, but the cake was good. Brandon gave me money for clothes and the green light to go visit my friends in Florida. I made a plan with Katie before he could change his mind. We could have gotten cheaper tickets if we’d waited, but since we both still had our gift certificates from Alissa, we jumped on the phone and online to book our tickets at the same time. We used to do that exact thing when the new Teen magazine came out. We had a strict rule we wouldn’t open or read it until we were both on the phone.
A few weeks after the new year, I called Katie and asked her to meet me for coffee. After five minutes of apologies, we slipped into our old routine and made a vow to meet weekly while our friends were gone, and we’ve stuck to it. With them being gone, it would be even easi
er for me to slip into isolation mode, but after my breakdown in December, I was adamant to follow through with taking care of myself. Brandon was a little huffy the first time he had to take Gibson to a Saturday morning basketball game so I could keep my appointment with Katie, but even he had realized the importance of my need to see her.
Gradually, Brandon and I slipped back into the same old routine. We tried to be more flirtatious and affectionate for a few weeks after “the incident,” but when it became forced, we both silently agreed to go back to normal. Conversations revolve mostly around the kids and kitchen, but at least I don’t feel like peeling his face with the cheese grater anymore.
My last attempt to catch his attention was a huge fail. I snuck off to a lingerie store on Valentine’s Day and bought a teddy to surprise him at bedtime. We exchanged valentines, shipped the kids off to my parent’s house for the night, and went out to a nice dinner. I dressed to kill wearing a low-cut black sweater, new jeans, black boots, and my first matching bra and panty set. I was rocking my new haircut that framed my face and made me look youthful again. I was on a mission to dazzle my man.
I’m sure it would have worked if he’d actually looked at me.
Dinner was nice, but conversation involved three-word questions and simple answers. Trying to find something new to talk about with someone you’ve known since high school was tougher than I thought. He knew better than to shoptalk with me since I’d bit his head off one too many times, and there’s only so many times you can describe a workout before it bores even the instructor. I felt my evening crashing and burning but couldn’t wait to get home and model my teddy. I had a few new tricks up my sleeve. I’ve been reading.