by Carter, TK
My palms started sweating on the way home as I tried to recall my plan. I watched Brandon out of the corner of my eye and felt my face flush. I almost talked myself out of it, but I recited the order of events as I had them listed in my head and waited for the headlights to hit the garage.
Brandon turned off the car. “Ah, home, sweet home.”
I smiled. “Even better, we’re alone.”
He smirked. “That we are.”
We went inside, took off our coats, and Brandon headed to the bathroom mumbling about the stupid beer. I took my opportunity and scurried into our bedroom. I stripped off my clothes and retrieved my ornamentation hoping I could remember how to put this garment of strings and patches on my body. The red thong rested on my hips and attached to the bra with two thin ribbons meant to provide some semblance of a garment. The red lace left little to the imagination, but my tits looked fabulous. I stood back from the mirror and admired my body wrapped in pure sex appeal. I fluffed my hair, applied lipstick (which was part of my plan. Lipstick stains on underwear, prints on the stomach—oh yeah, he was about to be rocked.). I smoothed the blankets on the bed and practiced my sexy pose. I repositioned the mirror so it would be visible from the bed (yet another trick I learned this week) and slid back into the bed. I stared at the cobwebs on the curtains, looked at the ceiling fan, studied the basket of clothes sitting on top of the dresser, checked Facebook, and fluffed the pillows—still no Brandon.
I threw on my robe and snuck into the hallway. The bathroom was empty and the television in the living room was blasting a commercial about erectile dysfunction. I smirked at the irony and peeked at Brandon’s chair. He tipped back a bottle of beer and sighed with delight. I raised my eyebrows and thought the plan could easily begin in the living room and might even be hotter in execution. I sashayed into the living room and took my place on the couch. I let my robe fall apart revealing my freshly-shaved legs and painted toenails, which was such a rarity for me, I nearly turned myself on just by looking at them. I tilted my head so I could see Brandon’s face with a stolen glance. He stared at the television and took another pull on the bottle.
I tried my sexy voice. “What are you watching?”
He pointed at the screen. “I don’t know, some reality show.”
I adjusted my position and allowed my robe to fall open a little more. “Is it good?”
He shrugged. “Nothing special.”
That was my cue to make my move. I stood and slinked across the room to stand between him and the television. I looked into his eyes. “I may have something special for you.” I loosened the robe belt and let it fall open revealing a very different body than he was accustomed to seeing.
He grinned. “Wow, that’s . . . quite a get-up.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and let the robe fall to the ground. My heart pounded against my breastbone no doubt making my boobs jump. I assumed it would be an added bonus for a little breast jiggle under these circumstances. I turned to the television revealing my thong and sexily turned my head to look over my shoulder. He stared at my ass then met my eyes. I asked, “Are you sure you want to watch this show? I may have something better in mind.
He said, “Sure, I’ll be in in a minute.”
I swear I heard the record scratch as the music of my sexcapade stopped. I blinked and turned to look at him. “I’m sorry?”
He looked at the television and looked at me. “That looks great on you. You’ve really toned up a lot. Looking good, babe.” He smiled and looked at the television again.
I stared at him and felt humiliation brewing in my gut. I wouldn’t be swayed, though, so I altered my plan and went for phase two. I slid between the coffee table and his chair and leaned over him. I donned my best seductive look and whispered, “I’m certain what I’d like to do to you is much more enjoyable.” I slid my hand down his chest and played with the button on his pants. I met his surprised eyes and grinned. “Should I stop?”
He waved. “Be my guest.”
I repositioned myself and prepared to pleasure my husband in a way I rarely performed. I never have been much of a fan of giving oral sex. I always felt like a one-year-old with its first Snickers bar. I just never quite got the hang of it, so I never did it. But, I’d been studying, and I wanted to show off my newly acquired skills.
My new methods were effective—highly effective. Too effective. Two minutes later, Brandon sprawled out breathless with his fingertips embedded in the chair arms. And since Brandon had always been a one-shot wonder, I knew my chances of getting laid on Valentine’s Day had just ended in my mouth. He never even touched my new teddy or any other part of my body for that matter. He stared at me with glassy eyes and a goofy grin spread across his face as I stood. “All three of you are beautiful.”
I smirked and offered my final surprise for the night. I said, “Would you like to return the favor?” I slipped my foot on the chair arm revealing my crotchless panties and everything they weren’t supposed to cover.
He chuckled. “I can’t even move right now. Give me a minute.”
I lowered my leg and hopes and headed to retrieve my robe and a glass of wine from the kitchen. I guzzled the first glass trying to cleanse my bruised ego and console my disappointment. I poured my second glass and heard the gurgle of his first snore. This game was officially over.
He tried to make up for it the next morning, but I was too embarrassed to let him touch me. I pretended to be asleep then hung over. Okay, that part wasn’t exactly a lie, but I wasn’t that bad. I was in punishment mode. It wasn’t supposed to go down like that, pardon the pun. It ended up being one of the most memorable nights in our marriage—each for two very different reasons. Within a week, though, we were right back to normal life around the house.
Only this time I wasn’t planning his slow death with a steak knife.
At three-thirty, I hugged my kids for the sixteenth time, kissed Brandon on the cheek, and wheeled my luggage to Katie’s car. We were only going to be gone four days, but we both packed like we were never coming back. She squealed when we pulled out of the driveway. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“I so need this right now.”
She sighed. “Girl, me too. Part of me knows I’ll be green with envy when I see the house.”
I nodded. “You know it’s going to be immaculate. I can’t wait to see Lis’s pregnant belly in person. When I see her on Skype, it’s so foreign she looks Photoshopped.”
Katie laughed. “I know, right? It just doesn’t seem like it’s real. Good lord I need this break.”
I mumbled, “You and me both. Did you talk to Landon about playing softball again?”
She winced. “No, it hasn’t really come up yet. It hasn’t been a good time. He’s been really busy—”
I interrupted, “So you pussied out.”
She sighed. “Yes, I totally pussied out.”
I shrugged. “Well, if you want to play, you’re going to have to tell him quick-like.”
“I know, I know. I just hate arguing with him.”
“Look, Katie, take it from the pro of mental breakdowns. This is how it starts. You need to assert yourself and tell him what you need.”
“I also believe compromise is important, and I totally see where he’s coming from, Michelle.”
I figured it best to change the subject. Bottom line: she won’t play softball again this year because she’s too scared to inconvenience Mr. Pampered Pants. If I hadn’t been guilty of spending years doing the same thing, I’d probably be supportive of her submission. But I know what it did to me, and I would rather not watch her go through it. I said, “I intend to drink mimosas every morning til noon and margaritas til sunset.”
She hummed. “Mimosas. God I haven’t had mimosas in forever.”
“I figure I’ll sleep with Chance and you’ll sleep with Dani. I think it’s only a three bedroom.”
“Fine with me. Chance snores.”
“She can’t be any worse than
either of our husbands.” I laughed.
“True, but if I’m on vacation, I’d rather not wake up wanting to suffocate someone like I do every other night of my life.”
“Ah, finally some of that frost is thawing and my old friend Katie is showing up.”
She giggled. “It takes me a minute, but I come back around.”
I got a text from Alissa and said to Katie, “Alissa says she has a surprise for us at the airport.”
“Wanna take bets on what it is?”
I rolled a few ideas through my head. “Well, it’s pretty obvious she probably hasn’t met anyone, so it can’t be a dude.”
She pointed at me. “Stranger things have happened. I’m saying it’s a limo.”
“Dammit, I bet you’re right. It’ll be late when we get to Fort Myers, and they probably don’t want to drive.
“Or maybe Chance has met someone.” Katie gasped. “Or Dani!”
I laughed. “Oh hell no. I would have heard about it by now.”
She frowned. “Why would you hear about it and I wouldn’t?”
I tried to figure out how to dodge the obvious and not confirm that Chance confides in me much more than she does Katie. Chance is a forgiving person, but she hadn’t fully gotten over Katie’s virtual betrayal during “the incident.” I had to let it go, because I needed my friend. Chance didn’t have to do shit and said so. I pushed the sleeves up on my arms. “I wish I’d tanned more before the trip.”
Katie groaned. “I wish I’d tanned at all. I’m liable to burn the first day and spend the rest of our time slathered in aloe hiding under shade trees.”
“Nah, you’ll be fine. Just ease into it.”
Six hours later, we slipped off the plane in Fort Myers and scanned the crowd for the faces of our dearest friends. I felt the wiggles of anticipation sliding through my stomach and took a deep breath. “Oh my gosh, Katie, I think I’m going to pee from excitement.”
“I don’t see them, do you?”
We walked through security and entered the waiting area. A man dressed in a dark suit held a sign that read, “Welcome to Florida, Katie and Michelle.”
I grinned at Katie. “You were right.”
She smiled. “Called it.”
We approached the man and introduced ourselves. He showed us to the limo, took our luggage, and opened the door to the back seat. Inside, Chance, Dani, and Alissa screamed, “Surprise!” They crawled out of the limo and buried us in group hugs. I choked back my tears as Chance embraced me. “How ya doing, kiddo?”
I nodded and whispered, “I’m so glad to see you.”
She pulled away from me and looked me up and down. She whistled. “Ladies, get a load of our Michelle Hot-Mama!”
“Oh I love your hair!” Alissa said. “And look at this body. Wow, Michelle, well done.”
Dani took my hand. “You look lovely. It’s so great to see you.”
We crawled into the limo and twittered like birds in a nest. Katie and I marveled over Alissa’s perfect basketball belly and listened as they told the same story from three different perspectives. It was just like old times and the fastest forty-five-minute drive I’d ever experienced.
The house. Wow. I didn’t get to fully appreciate the outside since it was dark, but when I heard the ocean, I dropped my bags. I looked at Katie and grinned. We peeled out of our shoes and took off running down the boardwalk. We didn’t stop until our feet were sinking into the Gulf of Mexico. I stared at the dancing waves illuminated by the moonlight and was spellbound by the soft sounds of surf. I couldn’t wait to see the ocean in daylight. I turned to Chance and whispered, “This is the first time I’ve seen the ocean.”
She linked her arm with mine. “Then I’m so glad I got to be here when you saw it, sister. Isn’t it amazing? Wait till you see it from our balcony.”
I looked at her. “Why the hell do we live in Missouri?”
She laughed. “I’ve asked myself that same question daily since we arrived, honey.”
I turned to look at the house and whistled. “Damn, she did it up right.”
“As usual,” she said. “The inside is beautiful. But I spend most of my time out here.” She looked at the ocean again and sighed. “It’s just so peaceful.”
I read that look on her face and felt my stomach drop. Tony’s ghost had followed her here. I watched Katie, Dani, and Alissa on the porch waiting like soldiers on post for us to come up. I yelled, “Katie, are you already done out here?”
She gestured to the house. “Do you see this thing? I sure want to see what’s inside. Come on!”
I grinned at Chance who said, “Come on. We’ve got time for all of it.”
We were a little parade of Missourians admiring the incredible house chosen by Alissa. The three of them had acclimated well to the extravagant house and were comfortable—as well they should be. Katie and I kept locking eyes, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. There’s no way I’d ever be comfortable living in a house this luxurious. I carried my suitcase to Chance’s room and whistled. “Damn, girl. This is amazing.”
She admired the room with me. “You get used to it. It took a few days to stop tiptoeing everywhere and washing my hands fifty thousand times a day.”
I chuckled and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how you’d ever get used to this.”
She shrugged. “It’s overwhelming at first, for real.”
I looked over my shoulder when I heard Katie gasping down the hall. “They’ve found more rooms.”
Chance smiled. “The other rooms are both impressive in their own ways. But that’s what hooked me.” She pointed to the double doors that led to the balcony. “Come on.” She grabbed my hand and led me through them. Once again, I was spellbound by the view of the ocean through the palm trees. Solar lights illuminated the boardwalk and reminded me of the fairy garden I’d always wanted. Chance said, “You’re going to love this at sunset.”
“I still can’t believe this morning I woke up in frigid Columbia and will go to bed in warm Naples.”
“Gotta love modern transportation. How are things, honey? You good?”
I shrugged and smiled. “I’m great right now.”
She tugged at my arm. “Now is good enough for me. Come on, let’s go see what the others are doing.”
We settled into our seats in the living room and took turns giving the five-minute overview of the last three months of our lives. Thanks to texting, Facebook, and Skype, we’d really never had much of a break in communication. But it was fun to hear the details often missed during quick chats. Once we’d covered the basics, the Q/A began.
I started. “Alissa, how’ve you been feeling?”
She smiled and rubbed her belly. “Like I’m pregnant with a street fighter.”
I laughed. “Gibson was like that. I swore that kid was leaving bruises inside.”
Dani chimed in, “He kicks hard! When he’s really active, we wad up a tissue and see how far he can kick it off her stomach.”
Alissa beamed, “He’s done a pretty good job. Might have a future in the NFL.”
Dani faked a shiver. “Oh goodness, I hope not. I really hope he’s a book worm and plays piano.”
We all laughed, and Katie said, “You’ll be surprised when he starts playing sports. Some kind of internal killer mode kicks into place, and the next thing you know, you’re rooting for your kid to draw blood.”
I hitched a thumb at Katie. “True story. She went to one of Gibson’s football games and yelled, ‘Kill that kid, Gibson.’”
Katie buried her head in her hands. “That’s not what I meant at all. It just slipped out.”
I said, “Yeah, you’ve spent too much time watching games with Landon.”
Alissa changed the subject and asked, “How’s things at home with Brandon, now?”
I nodded. “Things are good. We still have some rocky days, but overall, I think things are good. I think he’s going to live.” I winked.
Chance asked, “Did
you guys do anything special for your birthday last week?”
I shrugged. “No, not really. The kids were super cute and made me a cake, and I got gift cards, so that was a plus.”
Dani asked, “Are you still liking the instructor gig?”
“I absolutely love it. I teach three classes a day. I’m definitely getting my workouts.”
Alissa grinned. “I’m so glad your membership worked out like this. I can’t get over how awesome you look.”
I blushed. “It’s been fun to feel the transformation.”
We stayed up way too late and by the time I hit the sheets, I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell asleep listening to Chance talking about things we could do tomorrow and have no idea what she said.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
No Surprise
Alissa
I snuck out of bed and drew the curtains so Katie could sleep later. I slipped past Dani’s room and hightailed it to the downstairs bathroom before I peed down both legs. If Dani heard the toilet flush upstairs, she’d be out of bed in no time to make sure I was okay. And she’s never been one to go back to bed.
I grabbed a glass of orange juice and headed out to the beach to begin my morning routine of watching the world and feeling my baby wake up. In six short weeks, this would all be over, and my heart would be forever broken. At the recommendation of my therapist (who I called a few months ago in the midst of a full-blown meltdown), I’ve designated one part of my day to sit with my feelings, embrace them, and then move on with my day. I picked early morning. I tossed my blanket on the beach and began my routine.
I rubbed my belly and whispered, “You are so loved, little guy. More than anything, I want you to know I made this decision to save you. I just don’t have good luck, and I don’t want to drag you into my insanity. Chances are I’ll fall in love again shortly after you’re born, then he’ll bolt. And it will happen again a few years later, and he’ll figure out something he doesn’t like about me, or worse, you, and I can’t put you through that.
“Dani is so full of love for you already. She can’t wait to meet you, hold you in her arms, kiss your sweet face, and give you a stability that I’m unable to provide. She’ll be such a good mother to you, little guy. Just know that the day I hand you over, I’ll die a little inside.”