A Long Distance Love Affair

by Mary-Ellen McLean

  I love the way you walk and carry yourself. I am just completely smitten with you! My hands are longing to touch you and my lips are dying to connect with your cheeks your eyelids (‘the glittering eyelids of my soul’s desire’), your lips, the nape of your neck, your fingertips, your navel, your special bits, your beautiful thighs and calves and insteps and toes.

  And then I would like you to turn over so I could start all over again!

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I survived my indulgent drinking bout last night with no hangover this morning. Champagne seems to be good with me that way. It's good with me in other ways too....

  I am still reading Byron's Don Juan. It's an epic poem the length of a novel and I've been too tired at night recently to finish it off. But I am just thrilled with it! It has everything - left wing politics; utterly brilliant descriptions; very moving commentary on the devastation of war, and plenty of romance of course - what more could a girl want??!!

  Well in my case there is one thing - he's about 6 foot tall (and has other very pleasing proportions...) eyes of bluish grey; a smile that just lights my soul; a voice as sonorous as the swells of the ocean; hands so beautifully shaped and strong and so expressive (the very thought of them makes me wish they were all over me...) and a sexual charisma that is completely irresistible. Hmmm it would be so lovely to be interacting with this gorgeous creature right now.

  But in his absence it's back to Byron....

  Chariette

  My lovely boy

  I am just drowning in desire for you after your email. I will do my best to make this vision a reality for you when we are next together, because:

  "Being your slave, what should I do but tend

  Upon the hours and times of your desires?

  I have no precious time at all to spend

  Nor services to do, til you require."

  How I would love to 'tend upon you' just now. You inspire such tenderness in me. The very thought of you warms me and fills me with such desire to touch you. You make all my senses quiver and throb for you. I think you are SO beautiful and SO desirable and SO sexy.

  Chariette

  (Sorry about the unsolicited test message earlier today..I thought it was you ringing me. I hope it wasn't awkward for you. But you must admit I have been VERY restraining of myself in my contact with you so far!!)

  Hola mon amigo especiale!

  I would really love to be calling you much more beautiful intimate things, but mon espagnole is too limited, but you know what I really feel anyway....

  Hope you're enjoying Mehico. Thank you for your lovely call on Saturday (well Friday for you). It was a wonderful surprise and I so appreciated you making the effort. Your voice, as always, is just so sublime. I'm looking forward to your return very passionately so that I can get to hear more of it. I've been feeling full of feeling for you these last few days. I wonder if I'll ever get over this!! But this contact with you has made me so happy and I just dissolve with longing for you most of the time. It's just as well you're not here or you'd be really knackered by me.... !!! I could do with you just now... I could do with you every night really...Oh what I wouldn't do with you if I had the chance..and what I would!!

  Oh how I long for

  "The gentle pressure, and the thrilling touch.

  The least glance better understood than words

  Which still said all, but ne'er could say too much."

  Enjoy your last few days over there. I'm thinking of you divine one, especially your smile. Looking forward to your return and hearing about your adventures.

  Buenas noches

  Looking forward also to you saying Muchos gracios to me in the flesh (repeatedly) at some time.

  Chariette

  My Prince

  Thank you for your lovely calls this week. Oh your voice sends me into such raptures....especially your 'mmhmm'.

  And the thought of a possible tryst makes me go weak at the knees (and this is really saying something given that I have very big and very strong knees...). I am so excited (in all sorts of places) at the thought of the possibility of seeing you and being with you again. There's so much I want to do with your beautiful body. My hands are so dying to have you in them (as are other parts of me...) And my eyes are so looking forward to feasting on you. You give me such pleasure. Just to think about you gives me pleasure, let alone to see you and touch you and feel you. You make experience such a feeling of aliveness and sexual joy. I think about you so much I'm ashamed of myself...but oh what lovely thoughts they are.. and what a lovely indulgence to indulge in.

  You are the prince of my passions, the prince of my dreams, the prince of my body and of my lust.

  Dear Chariot

  I'm all for finding responsive areas, you could pretty well touch me anywhere and find one!! And when oil is involved - even more so! I can hold a lot of things under sexual tension (and in fact love to do so), but a pose might be difficult for me because I do so like to move and respond. I am longing to stroke your beautiful body oiled up too, and not just with my hands...

  How I wish you were here with me now...I am so dying for your touch. I so want to pleasure you and be pleasured by you. I love to take your clothes off and love you to undress me and experience the thrill of the sexual build up in this. I wish I could make love with you all night tonight in every imaginable way. I want to do all those four letter word things you've mentioned and for you to take me in every physical way. I love to feel your body on top of me and the pressure of you as you are first entering me. That is such a divine feeling. And then I just love to move with you, stroke for stroke, to let you know how beautiful it is for me, and how much I love to be involved with you in this way and to try to give you maximum pleasure too. I am just throbbing at the thought of this now.

  I am going to have to go and have a brandy now....I'm just dying for you

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  How I would love to 'make sweet moan' with you just now.

  I was in a very bad state for you over the break. I think when I go on leave my whole body so craves for you it overwhelms me. At work I can keep this a little (very little) more under control but when I'm feeling more relaxed the thoughts of desire for you just sweep right through me. It doesn't appear to be going away at all, in fact it's intensifying. Poor Me!! Alack and Alas!! I so hope an opportunity will arise for us to get together sometime soon. And it seems like ages since we've been able to have a long talk

  Forgive my moaning at the outset. Just keen to be with you really.

  Chariette

  A memory

  It was when we worked at the same place at a Christmas wind up. You were standing leaning against a verandah post (can’t remember which building). It was breezy and your tie was blowing. You had on a blue shirt. You were standing alone and looking over at me. I looked back at you feeling such longing in me. After some time I went over to you and we talked some inconsequential stuff but were looking quite intently at each other. I wanted you so much.... I wanted to drop to the ground and kiss your feet.

  Oh I so - Worshipped - you then....

  My Beautiful Morpheus

  It was lovely to hear from you the other night. My desire and intensity levels have now reached the acute stage... I get visions of your beautiful face with certain looks on it. There is one that comes to me frequently, which any description would not do justice to, but it's such an unbelievably sexy look and you keep tormenting me with it. It comes to me when I'm sitting on the train with my mind meandering in space and it comes to me in dreams. I am just smitten with your face..it is beyond compare.

  I was thrilled to hear of your interest in Caravaggio and of your search for him in Rome. He is one of my favourite painters as he is so earthy and real. Even his religious paintings have a sense of real people undergoing real emotions and real suffering. Normally I can't stand religious painting. I'm not religious at all and in fact I spurn organised religion. I'm going to
try to go this weekend to the exhibition and it will be even more pleasurable to me knowing you have seen them too and knowing your interest in them. I'm particularly looking forward to the fruit still life (as I mentioned to you). He does a great gourd! (So do you!!)

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Glad to see your spirit has wafted through again – but no email..... Is all well with you…?

  I appear to be coming down with bronchitis – a particularly virulent form of bug that has gone straight to my chest (….I’m wishing you could go straight to my chest… I would still want you even if I were possessed with a pneumonium delirium.)

  It was my eldest son’s 30th birthday on Saturday (Friday really, but we had a big celebration for him on Saturday). He confessed to me that he’s finding it increasingly difficult to continue to comply with my request that he tells people he’s only 14. I have no idea why that would be ..a simple enough request I would have thought..

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  So wonderful to hear from you today.....

  We are plunging into the throes of winter here again. Already wearing a coat and scarf and need to buy gloves after my dog ate mine last winter. Everyone’s looking pasty and unwell on the train and bunkered down.

  I am recovering but still don’t feel 100% … I was supposed to go to the opera with some friends last Friday, but I was too unwell to drive so I missed it which was pretty disappointing.

  Speaking of opera, one of the things I’d love to do with you (in addition to the already proffered list of soaping you all over in the shower; kissing every micrometer of you, and making love to you all night in every imaginable way…) is to be in close physical contact with you (preferably naked on lovely white sheets …) where I could play you some of my favourite pieces of music and for us to be lying there, letting the emotion of the music suffuse us, and for this to lead to some beautifully affectionate lingering memorable intimate gentle lovely sex between us…

  I think you are so lovely.

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Spent a lovely day wandering all over the Victorian Art Gallery.

  The Caravaggio exhibition was spectacular and I thought the idea of showing works of his contemporaries was really clever and helped to show his effect on others. I wasn’t too keen on all the violent bloodthirsty ones with the many beheadings of various characters from biblical history and I was puzzled at the significance of the skull in so many of the other paintings. My favourites of the whole exhibition were the Four Seasons (not by Caravaggio), and Caravaggio’s fruit still life (of course) and his Narcissus. The Narcissus myth has a very personal connection for me in relation to an experience a number of years ago that could be described as a life altering epiphany...I will tell you about that some time.

  But the fruit still life...it blew me away. I’ve seen reproductions in books but it was even more larger than life than I expected. You could feel the sexual imagery just coursing through it...there were seeds everywhere.....the rich red of the persimmon spilling seed, the gash of the pumpkin and the curious cutting of the watermelon in strips to reveal as much juicy flesh laden with seeds as possible. The grapes were ripe and luscious, the peaches fleshy and golden, and the figs...well... they were something else. There was one fig that had just split itself with ripeness ....

  I would very much like to be the splitting fig to your firm gourd just now...

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  So wonderful to hear from you today. Oh you are just my heart's delight and thrill me so.

  Speaking of something to look forward to – I am just alive with passionate expectation at the hope of being with you sometime soon… I hope you can work something out. I’m lost for words to describe how happy the prospect of this makes me. You need to give me a little notice though because I have to prepare – paint my toenails, buy some new shoes, etc (I think you will be interested in the ‘etc’…) Oh it will be so lovely to look into your eyes again and to touch your beautiful hands and be swept away on a tide of sexual passion for you. I will be so ready for you… I am dying for your touch and intimate connection with you. You have no idea how so very beautiful I think you are.

  You are my luscious forbidden fruit…(and vegetables!).

  Sleep well my beautiful prince.

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  If I had the chance I would be making love to you in the morning, in the evening and in the afternoon. How I would love to be making love to you just now.

  Oh you have affected me so...I feel so alive to you, my body just thrums for you. You have penetrated me and touched me in more ways than one.... I live in hope of being with you again however briefly.

  “If it were not for hope the heart would break..”

  You bring out all the soft and beautiful things in me and I feel awash with lovely feelings because of you.

  Chariette

  My Heart’s Delight (and all other body parts’ delight...)

  Oh I am in a slurry of passionate feeling for you just now. You make me feel like a proton in a particle accelerator! (How’s that for romantic imagery?!.......) It’s your voice that does it to me (and of course thoughts of you doing things to me does it to me too!) Oh how I would love to have you buried in the very depths of me just now... I wish we were both feeling and moaning “Oh!.. Oh!.... Ohhh!” just now.

  I have adored you since I first laid eyes on you. How does it feel to be the object of such unbridled desire??? Oh I wish you were here to distil the passionate essence of me...

  There are times I feel very guilty about this unswerving passionate assault on you and know I should rein myself in, but I just can’t help it...I just can’t help myself where you’re concerned.....so forgive me and I hope you can continue with your generous tolerance of me and of these outbursts.

  I know I shouldn’t say this, but sometimes I feel that my soul is extending out to you, to the very – edge - of my life....

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I went to bed last night wanting you very much, wishing I could satisfy my deep yearnings to touch you (and for you to touch me). What a lure you are…you make me awash with very voluptuous feelings. How I’m wishing that my cheeks could

  “glow yet smoother from your amorous clutch!”

  (both sets of cheeks....)

  I’m so mad about you - heaven help me...

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  So wonderful to hear from you last night. Oh that voice…

  It was lovely to hear you speaking of your daughter in such caring terms and with such pride. Father daughter relationships can be very special. Mine was. I adored my father and still feel very close to him despite losing him when I was 21. It was he who created my loving heart and disposition.

  I have such a desire to kiss you on the neck just now I can’t tell you ….I am still utterly possessed with passion for you. I am hoping some angel will come down and release me from this madness…but it hasn’t happened yet. And I do struggle with the wrongness of it, but can’t overcome it. I have a (naïve) belief that things happen for a reason, but have no idea at this stage what on earth the reason is. All I do know is that I’m finding you very pleasurable (pleasurable beyond description…) even though it’s wicked and I’m doomed to hell! I will go to my grave with the happiness of the pleasure of you entering my life firmly embedded in the secrets of my soul.

  But just now all I can think about is the pleasure of you entering me….my body is just dying for you…

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Oh how full of hope and expectation I am at your coming this week. I can’t get the thought of you out of my head. Every minute is an hour, every hour a day and every day a month till you come. ...’I must attend time’s leisure with my moan...’

  And it’s a significant week this week with the transit of Venus happening. It will make me even more al
ive to you and receptive and willing and full of feeling. And there’s a full moon as well so our encounter should be something else indeed...all I need is for you to show up!

  I still can’t believe this is happening.

  Chariette

  Sweet Chariot

  I have been thinking about you a lot (what else is new...), thinking about you feeling dissatisfied at work and not knowing where you’re heading just now. I wish I could help you with this. I have been in much darker places where I thought my very soul was starving to death and that no one could possibly understand so I kept it to myself for a very long time. It wasn’t until by chance one day that a close friend of mine happened upon me when I was in a very distressed state and encouraged me to open up to her about what was going on in my life at that time.