Why You Shouldn't Lend A Bad Boy Your Clothes

by Philline Harms

  “Kind of.” I admitted. “He sort of…changed things. He made them a hundred times more difficult and confusing and kind of…showed me something I didn’t even think about earlier, and now I can’t think about anything else.”

  I fell silent for a moment, just looking out at the sunset. It was absurd how beautiful the scenery was while I was feeling like everything around me was falling apart.

  “I wish I could love you the way I thought I did. I really do,” I said with my voice breaking. “But I can’t. Em, you’re my best friend. I don’t wanna lose this.”

  She shook her head, wiping away the tears with her sleeve even though there were still more of them streaming down. “I know, Jules. I know that.”

  Without saying anything else, she got up and walked over to my car. I got to my feet, too, taking the blanket with me and unlocking the doors. After a few minutes, Emily stopped crying.

  The ride back was silent. Neither of us talked, and the only sound was the rattling of the engine. I dropped her off on the school’s parking lot where her car was still parked.

  “Will you be okay tonight?” I asked carefully as she climbed out of the car.

  She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear with shaky fingers. “I’m fine. I just need space, okay? I need some time.”

  “Okay,” I said quietly, but the door had already fallen shut.

  Chapter 20

  I didn’t go to school on Tuesday simply because it would’ve been to no avail. All of my thoughts were either about Emily and the breakup or about Hunter and our upcoming date, so I basically was a useless wreck.

  Certainly, I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate at school, and the thought of meeting Emily there was making my skin crawl. She wanted me to give her space, but I knew that if I met her in the hallways, I would probably talk to her and ask how she was doing. She was still my best friend, so naturally, I was worried about her, and I wanted to help her get over it. But how was I supposed to do that when I was the one who caused the pain?

  So I had stayed at home all day, trying to distract myself by watching stupid reality TV shows, reading, and drawing a bit.

  I quickly caught myself drawing what looked a lot like Hunter’s side profile, but since the sketch was actually pretty good, I continued working on it until I ended up with a detailed portrait of him looking over his shoulder, a faint smirk playing around his lips and one brow raised, an expression that he often wore.

  I looked at it for a few minutes before I hid it underneath some papers on my desk.

  Afterward, I went back to thinking about the date with Hunter and panicked slightly. He talked about going clubbing, which was something I had never done before. Embarrassingly, one of my biggest worries was what I was going to wear. His advice to wear something “sexy” only contributed to my insecurity. So I had spent at least half an hour in front of my closet trying to pick an outfit that wouldn’t make me look completely ridiculous.

  I had just finished doing my hair—well, you couldn’t really style my hair. All I could do was to try and somehow brush it with my fingers since nothing else worked with my curls—which I had quickly given up on when the doorbell rang.

  I cursed quietly under my breath when I nearly tripped down the stairs in an attempt to get to the door before either of my parents could. Before I opened it, I grabbed my wallet and my keys and shouted a quick goodbye. Since I couldn’t exactly tell my parents what I’d be doing tonight, I had settled on telling them I’d be hanging out with Nate.

  Being the clumsy idiot I was, I obviously opened the front door with way too much force in my eagerness to leave and stumbled face forward into Hunter.

  He caught my shoulders and grinned at me with an amused glint in his eyes. “What was that? Were you actually just falling for me?”

  I rolled my eyes at him but didn’t try to shake his hands off. “Hunter, you’re such a cliché.”

  He just shrugged casually and let go of me. “You like it.” He then took a step back and looked at my outfit with a stare that could make pretty much anyone blush. “So you actually listened to me for once, huh?” When I didn’t respond right away, he stepped closer again and tugged at my shirt. “Why don’t you wear this more often?”

  I looked down at myself, a little self-conscious. In lack of anything better to wear, I put on a washed-out blue shirt, which according to Emily was exactly the color of my eyes, ripped jeans, and white vans.

  “I just feel more comfortable in loose clothes.”

  Hunter’s lips formed into what almost looked like a pout, but then he shrugged. “Okay. So, why weren’t you at school today?”

  For a second, I was surprised he noticed, then I said, “I didn’t feel well.”

  “You weren’t sick,” Hunter said, rolling his eyes at me. “If you were, you would’ve sent Nate at least five self-pitying text messages, which you didn’t. I asked him. So, this is what I think. You didn’t come to school because you were scared of running into Emily.”

  I was silent for a moment, taken aback by his accusation and how precise it was. Eventually, I nodded.

  “So you told her?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did she react?”

  I ran a hand through my hair. “She wants space. I don’t think she’ll talk to me again anytime soon.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Hunter said. “Once she’ll realize that she’s better off with someone else, she’ll be grateful you didn’t lead her on any longer.”

  I only shrugged.

  Hunter regarded me silently for a few more seconds before he grabbed my hand and led me towards his Audi.

  When I climbed into the passenger seat, I asked, “Where are we going, anyway?”

  Hunter waited until we both sat down and fastened our seatbelts before he started the engine.

  Only when we had already left the neighborhood, he answered. “We’re going to a gay club.”

  “Yeah, really funny. Now, where are we actually going?”

  “I’m not joking, Jules.”

  I could feel my amused expression crumble. “Hunter, I’m not going there.”

  “Jules—”

  “No! I’m serious. I won’t do that. Why would you even think I would? I don’t even know for sure if I like guys.”

  Hunter was silent for a moment before he quietly said, “I remember Friday night.”

  Now I was actually taken aback for a second, and my jaw dropped.

  “What?” I said feebly.

  He turned his head to look at me. There was no teasing or hesitation in his voice as he said, “I remember the kiss. And I know how much it meant to you, what a big step it was.” As he spoke, one of his hands reached out for mine, but then he seemed to think better of it and dropped it onto the armrest in between our seats. “So, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s kind of a sign that you’re not the straightest guy there is.”

  I didn’t say anything in reply, still too shocked by his words.

  “Listen, okay?” Hunter said and looked at me with a more serious expression. “I’m not trying to force you to do anything you’re not ready for. We’ll just go in there, and if you don’t like it, we can leave and go somewhere else.” He lifted a hand to interrupt me when I opened my mouth to object. “But I actually really think you’ll like it there. It’s a nice place to be when you’re exploring your sexuality. No matter what you identify as, in that club, they’ll respect you. Before you can accept yourself, it’s good to know that others do. So that’s why going to a gay bar, as scary as it might sound to you, actually is quite a good lesson.”

  I took a deep breath and slumped back into my seat. Then, not looking at him, I said, “Ten. We can stay there for ten minutes. If I want to leave, then we do, okay?”

  Hunter nodded eagerly, and I could tell that he was trying to bite back a grin. “Anything for you, sugarpie.”

  Glaring at him, I crossed my arms over my chest. “You really suck. You know that?”

 
; “Just tell me where,” he said while winking at me and watching amusedly as my cheeks turned bright red. “Don’t worry. I’m just fucking with you.” He burst into laughter as I made a choking sound. “Sorry, wrong choice of words.”

  “You really do want to make me jump out of this driving car, don’t you?”

  “Please don’t,” he said, still trying to stop himself from laughing. “It’d be a pity if you’d cheat yourself out of our bet that easily.”

  “I hate you,” I said without any heat and looked out of the window. “When will we arrive?”

  To my surprise, Hunter swiftly pulled over and parked on the side of the road. “Now.”

  Without further explanation, he got out of the car and walked around it to open my door as well. I hesitantly got out and eyed the club. We were in the street close to the city center, and even though it was a Wednesday, a few people were waiting in line in front of the doors. The club’s name hung above the entrance in LED letters, but other than that, it looked like a normal building.

  “Are you coming?” Hunter asked.

  I reluctantly followed him as he walked up to the end of the line. It moved rather fast, and we stepped through the entrance sooner than I would have liked.

  Behind it was a short corridor that opened into a huge loft-like hall. Once we reached it, I could finally see everything that what was going on inside. The first thing that caught my eye was the bar that was on the left side. There was a black counter with long rows of glass bottles on the shelves behind it, and some people were standing around it. The rest of the room was occupied by a huge dance floor. Loud music was vibrating through the entire club, a dark, nearly hypnotizing song. Something about it sounded forbidden, sexual in a way.

  Lights flashed over the crowd, illuminating couples that were making out or dancing closely to each other. Everything was exactly like I had imagined in normal clubs with the difference that everywhere I looked were topless guys, same-sex couples, and even a few drag queens.

  My eyes were probably the size of saucers as I took everything in. Almost unconsciously, my hand reached for Hunter’s and slipped lightly into his. From the corner of my eyes, I could see him biting his lip to hide his smile as he tightened his grip on my hand. The light caressing of his thumb on my wrist didn’t even startle me anymore this time, but it still had its comforting effect.

  “It’s quite overwhelming at first, huh?” Hunter asked into my ear.

  I nodded, still rendered speechless.

  “Come on. Let’s go over there,” he said and pulled me into a less crowded corner of the club where, to my surprise, a few couches lined the brick walls.

  The music was less deafening in here, and you could actually talk in a normal voice.

  Hunter dragged me over to one of the red velvet couches, which had a bunch of cushions on them, and pulled me down, so I sat beside him.

  “Do you want to drink anything?”

  I looked at him with wide eyes. “They serve you alcohol here?”

  He shrugged casually. “I’m friends with a bunch of workers here. Otherwise, they wouldn’t even let us in. So yeah, I could get us something alcoholic, but I’m not going to since you’re such a lightweight. I want you to be able to remember tonight.”

  “Okay,” I nervously said. “Uhm, can I get a Coke?”

  “Yes, Jules. Of course, you can get a Coke.” Hunter laughed and let go of my hand. “Is it okay if you wait here for a minute?”

  I nodded and watched as Hunter made his way towards the bar. I turned back to look at what was going on the dance floor when a guy broke loose from the crowd and skipped towards me.

  He was very tall, very shirtless, and very good-looking from what I could see in the flashing light. He looked about two or three years older than me, with toned abs, broad shoulders, and messy blond hair that, for some reason, made me think of a surfer on an Australian beach.

  I was more than surprised when he didn’t stop in his tracks but continued to walk straight up to me and eventually sank down on the couch next to me. He draped one arm over the back of the couch and sat there, facing me.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he purred and flashed me a lazy grin. “How come such an eye candy like you are here all alone?”

  For a second, I was too startled to even fully realize that he was talking to me. Then uncomfortably leaning slightly away from him, I said, “Uh, sorry. I think you must’ve mistaken me for someone…”

  He leaned in even more until his chest pressed against my side. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he opened his mouth. “Oh, trust me. You are exactly who I’m looking for.”

  I smiled nervously. “Looking for someone to do what?”

  As soon as I had spoken the words out loud, I regretted them. His smirk only confirmed my worries.

  “I would tell you here, but I like dirty talking better when it’s in the bedroom,” he said, winking at me.

  That was the moment when I started to panic. The guy looked absolutely ready to drag me into an empty room to do whatever to me.

  “Y-yeah?”

  He licked his lips and looked at me like a predator waiting to attack its prey. “So, what’s your name, beautiful?”

  I cringed on the inside and thought about lying and just making up any name, but then I saw Hunter coming towards us with two bottles of Coke.

  “Hey, uhm. I think you should get out of here,” I said, hopefully loud enough for Hunter to hear. “See, my boyfriend is on his way back, and he really doesn’t like other people flirting with me…”

  The guy didn’t even look fazed in the slightest as he looked around to see Hunter approaching us. “So, he’s a possessive one? That’s hot.”

  I stared at him with an incredulous look. The thought of getting beaten up by a jealous Hunter didn’t sound hot to me at all.

  “Hey, do you think we could get him to share you with me for a night?” the guy said, winking suggestively at me.

  While I was still trying to process what he just said and simultaneously trying not to throw up or punch him in the face, Hunter finally reached us and set the bottles of Coke down on the little table next to the couch.

  “Hey, is there a problem here?” he asked, eyes darting back and forth between the guy and me.

  I nodded and got up to stand beside him. Then I firmly grasped his hand. “Babe, he won’t stop flirting with me…”

  Hunter’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked at me, but then he turned back to the guy, who was already on his feet. “Mate, I don’t know what led you to conclude that he’s interested in you, but you better stay away from him.”

  Surfer-boy still didn’t seem intimidated and only purred in disappointment. “Oh come on. You can’t be that selfish! Look at him. He’s so pretty!”

  A grin flickered across Hunter’s face. “I know he is. But he also doesn’t want to be hit on by you, so you should show some respect and leave him alone.”

  “Okay, so he’s yours. I gotcha,” he said and raised his hands in surrender. “But what about sharing? Or I could just watch and maybe record a bit…”

  “No,” Hunter and I said at the same time.

  I could feel Hunter’s hand tightening around mine.

  Before the guy could answer, another boy around his age suddenly jogged up to him. “Corey, there you are!” He then looked at Hunter and me. “I’m really sorry if he said something inappropriate. He always does this when he’s drunk…I was trying to keep an eye on him, but I lost him in the crowd.”

  Corey rolled his eyes at his partner but let him sling an arm around his waist.

  “It’s okay.” Hunter laughed. “He was just a little straightforward.”

  The other boy grimaced and pulled Corey closer. “Yeah, I can imagine. I’m really sorry about that…We’re going now.”

  “Bye,” I said soundlessly and stared after the two of them.

  As they walked away, I could faintly hear the boy muttering, “Baby, I told you to stay away from the te
quila…Did you see that guy with the curls? He’s probably scarred for life now…”

  When they had disappeared on the dance floor, Hunter pulled me closer towards him and put a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just didn’t know what to say,” I said. “I mean, I didn’t expect that to happen…”

  Hunter laughed quietly. “You always have some horny drunks at any party…By the way, it’s already ten minutes…So you want to leave?”

  Everything about his face screamed, ‘Please say no,’ but the fact that he asked nevertheless was so incredibly sweet that there really was no way I could have said anything other than, “No…I’d like to stay if that’s okay with you.”

  “If that’s okay with me?” Hunter asked incredulously. “Of course, that’s okay with me. Uh…Do you want to dance?”

  I thought about it for a few seconds. I didn’t really like dancing, nor was I good at it, but I could tell that Hunter really wanted to.

  “Yeah…Yeah, sure.”

  Hunter’s face lit up with a genuinely surprised smile, then he pulled me towards the dance floor, leaving our drinks on the table.

  The song that was playing now was similar to the style of music I heard when we entered, but this one had vocals that were sung by a smooth, soft male voice. The beat was dreamy but with underlying darkness to it.

  Hunter quickly noticed that I was just standing awkwardly. I gasped when he hooked his two index fingers into my belt loops, pulling me closer until there were only a few inches between us. I looked around to see if anyone was looking at us. This was probably the closest we had ever gotten in public, and the thought of someone seeing us like this made my hair stand on end. If for whatever reason, someone I knew was here, they’d surely assume there was something between Hunter and me.

  “Relax,” Hunter muttered into my ear, lips lightly grazing my skin. “No one’s watching you.”

  I nodded and smiled at him even though my heart was pounding.

  Hunter then started to move slowly to the beat, and after some hesitation, I followed him and mirrored his movements. I didn’t really know what to do, but when I looked around, I saw that pretty much everyone was really just dancing in their own way, seemingly lost in the music and their own little world, so I started to move to the beat on my own accord.