Beautiful Nightmare

by Johnna B

  As Kidd waited for Moochie to come out, thoughts of Valencia flooded his mind. He would never want to bring her into this kind of lifestyle, so he knew he had to get out very soon. He tried to shake the scent of burning flesh out of his memory. He didn’t want her essence mixed in with this part of his life. She was the only good and pure thing in his life, and he wanted to keep her that way.

  * * *

  “Come on, man. What you doing? These muthafuckas over here kicking my ass, and you hiding behind a damn trash can!” Sena yelled at Valencia as they played Resident Evil on Wii. Sena was in her fighting stance, punching, while Vee was crouching down, shooting from a distance.

  “Bitch, I’m helping. You just losing and can’t take it.”

  They argued as if they couldn’t stand each other when they played any game. It didn’t matter what it was. They both went into the kill zone and acted as if they’d never been best friends.

  Kidd and Moochie walked in and started laughing immediately. The scene was too funny. The girls were cursing at each other while Vee was under the table with a big gun shooting away at all the zombies while Sena was standing up boxing the air with some nunchakus in her hand, fighting for her life, but the zombies were getting in her ass. Her ass was jiggling all over the place with each punch, indicating she didn’t have any underwear on.

  The guys had brought liquor, but, from the looks of it, it seemed as though they didn’t need to. There was already a bottle of Rémy Martin and Grey Goose on the table, and both were half-empty, so they already knew these two were really feeling themselves.

  “I hope your thugalicious-ass man don’t ever need you to help out in a gunfight ’cause the nigga is dead where he stand, ’cause yo’ ass can’t shoot worth shit. I done lost two lives fucking with you.”

  “Ah, bitch! Chuck it up. Shit! I go hard for mines. You better know it.”

  Kidd and Moochie, still standing at the door, started laughing again, knowing damn well Valencia wouldn’t bust a grape in Welch’s backyard.

  Valencia and Sena were so into the game that they didn’t even know the guys were there.

  “Where he at anyway? I need a real shooter on my team. Bitch, you’re fired,” Sena said as she did the hand gesture mocking Donald Trump.

  She turned around to pick her drink up and stopped when she saw the guys standing there. To say she was embarrassed would be an understatement. Valencia hadn’t told her that they were coming over. This was supposed to be a girls-only night. But here they were, standing in front her, looking like a double dose of Hot Damn with a hint Oh My God. Had she known this, she would have chosen something way sexier. There she stood in her red Cardinals boy shorts with the big Cardinal sign going across the butt and a tank top that read “Bitch, I’m Me” across the front. Her hair was on point as always, but she was sweating from all the punching and jumping around. They went from playing American Idol to Madden, then doubles tennis, and now here they were shooting it out with the zombies.

  She looked good as shit to Moochie. It had been awhile since he had seen her. He always asked Valencia how she was doing. But that was as far as he would go with the conversation. He couldn’t help feeling some kind way about seeing her. He didn’t want to have to explain why he’d never called. It wasn’t on purpose. He had been busy with Skillet in the hospital and doing more since his brother had finally found love. He was happy for his brother, so he took up a lot of his slack.

  They heard a loud thump coming from the floor. Everyone looked down and watched as Valencia tried to get up from under the table. She had already bumped her head a couple of times. She couldn’t seem to find her way out.

  “Ouch! Shit! Help me, bitch! You see me struggling!”

  Valencia slurred her words while plopping back down on the floor, waiting for Sena to move the table. She could see the table being lifted into the air. Knowing her table weighed a good 150 pounds at least considering it was in the shape of five-foot butterfly and it was made out of bright colors of marble, she couldn’t help but ask, “How in hell you lifting that damn table like that?”

  She still hadn’t looked up yet. Her head didn’t seem to want to cooperate with what her brain was telling it to do. With her head feeling like she was in the ocean, she kept talking with her face in the carpet. “You got a lot of testosterone built up,” she laughed. “That comes from not getting any ding ding. I’m gon’ call Moochie and tell him to come get some of that good good. I’ma say, I’ma say, I’ma say, ‘li’l bra, gon’ ’head get cha some,’ and I’m not gon’ even charge him. It’s gon’ be on da house.”

  Sena stood there beet red she was so embarrassed. Thoughts of stepping on the back of Valencia’s head crossed her mind. “Really, Vee?” Sena shook her head.

  “OK, I’ll charge him. We can’t be giving it away for free. Shit, people paying for oxygen, so why can’t they pay for a li’l cooter?”

  “Vee, would you just shut the hell up and getcha drunk ass up!” Sena side kicked her in the leg.

  Valencia’s body finally cooperated as she was able to roll over.

  “Oh, hey, honey! How ya doin’? Wait a min! Let me get hood, how you say it? What’s the B. I.?” she said, deepening her voice. You could tell she wasn’t a drinker. “Hey, Moo . . . chie.” As she stood up to get her equilibrium together, she looked at both of them. “Oh, I get it. You came to redeem the Brown name in Madden ’cause you heard about them ass whippings I be putting down on ya big bra.” She could barely stand, so she decided to sit on the edge of couch.

  Kidd just laughed. She was not lying. She kicked his ass every time, especially after he’d taught her them tricks. She was looking so cute. She had her hair pulled into two pigtails hanging on each side of her head with a pink camisole that said, “I’m a Martian,” and she had on the same shorts that Sena had on, only they were pink. You could tell that it was a real girl’s night going on.

  “Naw, my brother ain’t told me nothing about getting his ass kicked by you in Madden. He knew he would have never been able to live that shit down, as much shit as he talks.” He looked over at Sena. “How you doin’, Miss Lady?”

  “I’m doin’ good, and you?” she said, trying to act like she wasn’t hurt that he didn’t call. She had got over it about a week after him not calling and hadn’t thought much about him until now. Here he was standing in front of her, looking extrasexable.

  “Okay. Now that the reunion is over, can we get this shit poppin’? Moochie’s my partner. He looks a li’l more thuggish, like he got a good shot.”

  “A’ight, let me find out. It’s all good. My girl over here seem like she got a good left hook, and, with my right hook, we good,” Kidd stated confidently.

  As Valencia went to pick up her gun, she got this feeling in her stomach, and her head felt like it was about to pound out of her skull. “Not now!” Everybody looked at her.

  “Not now what? You don’t want to play no more?” Sena was looking at her like she was crazy.

  “Huh? Oh, don’t pay me any attention. Caught a cramp. That’s all.” She rubbed her temples and shook her head, trying to shake the feeling that was coming over her. At any moment, she just knew her head was going to rupture. Please, God, not right now. If you have any love for me at all left in you, please not right now. She wanted to cry as she said her silent prayer.

  “Don’t punk out now. We going to war. We need your concentration, baby girl.” Moochie patted her on her back.

  “Don’t even trip. I got you. What the hell?” She looked around at everybody.

  “Girl, what the hell is wrong with you?” Sena asked, walking up to Valencia.

  “Nothing. The liquor is getting to me. Let me go to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” She ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

  Vee’s migraine was getting worse by the second, and the feeling was no longer a battle. It had been won. She just wasn’t as strong as the force she was fighting against. Valencia stared into the mirror . . . but Raven was
staring back at her.

  “Get rid of them!” Raven said through clenched teeth. Vee looked in the mirror, and the image before her was no longer her. Scared as hell, she knew her happiness had come to a complete halt. She knew it would be short lived, but this was too soon.

  “Please! No! Don’t do this,” Vee tried to beg, but Raven cut her off.

  “Fuck that begging shit, bitch. You said a little while, and I gave you that. I’m starting to get the feeling you trying to get rid of me.”

  “Well, you got the right feeling. Why can’t I have my life? Leave me alone. Go find someone else to torture!” she screamed, punching the mirror, making the glass shatter everywhere.

  “Ooooh, somebody’s mad! Like I give a fuck. Bitch, I told you don’t fuck with me. But you wouldn’t listen, thought I was playin’,” Raven taunted her.

  “You expect me to let you live my life forever?”

  Everybody ran to the door.

  “Vee, you all right?” Sena yelled through the door as she shook the handle.

  “I’m okay. I’ll be right out.”

  “Open the door.”

  “No, I said I’ll be out.”

  “Open this damn door before I kick it in.” Sena was adamant.

  “Would you just go the fuck away?” Raven hissed.

  Sena’s feelings were hurt.

  “Why did you do that?” Vee couldn’t believe this was happening in front everybody that meant the most to her. She knew if she didn’t do something soon, Raven would hurt everybody in that house, and she would give her life before she allowed Raven to do that.

  “Because I told the bitch to leave, but she wouldn’t. I told you to get . . . rid . . . of . . . them before I do,” Raven gritted. Everybody put their ears to the door.

  “Who are you talking to?” Kidd asked.

  “No one! Could you just leave, please? I’ll call y’all tomorrow.” Vee was trying to avoid a big commotion. Only the Lord knew what this crazy bitch would do if she walked out of the bathroom.

  “Would you just come out, so we know you’re all right?”

  The door opened. Vee stood there with blood running out of her hand in puddles. She had this vacant look in her eyes like she was not looking at them but through them. Everyone looked behind her to see if there was anyone else in there because they knew they’d heard two voices.

  “Oh my God, are you all right?” Sena tried to touch Vee’s hand, only for her to snatch it back.

  “Okay. I’m alive. Now could you just please leave?” Raven wasn’t into trying to be nice to them at all. They weren’t her friends.

  “You want everybody to leave?” Kidd asked, just knowing she wasn’t putting him out too.

  “Yes, I’m sorry, but I have to take care of something.” Vee could barely look him in the eyes. She could clearly see his feelings were hurt.

  “Yo! What the fuck is going on? You were just drunk as shit, barely standing. Now, you’re bleeding all over the place and putting us out. What the fuck type of time is you on?” Moochie said, scrunching up his face.

  “Who the fuck is this nigga? You betta get this muthafucka out before I do.”

  It was like she just morphed right in front of their eyes. Vee was looking at Sena with tear-filled eyes. Now, everybody stood there, really confused. Vee and Moochie talked on the phone damn near every day, and he was always around when Kidd was over. The look in her eyes was deadly and sinister. This was not their sweet Valencia.

  “Please leave . . .”

  Tears were running down her face. She couldn’t even look at them as she shut the door. Vee sat down on the toilet, crying harder than she ever cried in her life. She knew her life was over, and now all she could do was watch from the other side.

  “It’s my turn, bitch, and I’ma teach you a lesson about fucking with me,” Raven said while trying to fix her makeup in the mirror. “Think you can get rid me. Give a bitch an inch, and she takes a foot. Look at this shit. Got my makeup running all over the damn place, crying and shit. Dumb ass, feelings is a fuckin’ no-no. Weak-ass bitch, you want to know why I’m here? This why!” she yelled, circling her face with her index finger pointing at all the tears. “You too weak, just fuckin’ pathetic! Why won’t you just wither the fuck away and quit fighting the inevitable ’cause I’m here to stay, bitch, so get down or lie down.”

  “Why won’t you just leave? Please leave. Let me have my life back. I need my life. I just want to be happy.” Tears fell again.

  “Didn’t I tell you to stop with all that crying shit? That’s all right. I’m gonna give you something to cry about. I’m gonna suck yo’ little boyfriend’s dick so good he gonna forget you ever existed.”

  “Don’t you suck pussy?” Vee said, trying to have some sort of comeback. This can’t be happening, not now, not ever. God can’t be that cruel to finally give her happiness, only to snatch it away.

  “Watch a real bitch work.”

  Chapter 13

  1991

  Valencia could hear the commotion going on in her house. There was a big fight going on downstairs between her mom Daphne and her boyfriend, Russell. Russell had been terrorizing Valencia’s mom for years. He was a big fellow, considering her mom stood five feet eleven. Daphne would never consider a man under six feet tall. He wasn’t handsome in the least bit, but he was six feet four and weighed every bit of 325 pounds. He also had a scar that went from his left temple to the corner of his mouth that resembled a railroad track.

  Miss Daphne Ball had been one of the baddest chicks walking the streets of St. Louis before Russell got a hold to her. Valencia had never met her father. Daphne was so out of control as a teenager he could have been any one of the neighborhood players. She never approached any of them about being her child’s father. She figured she didn’t need them, and she was doing good physically. She kept Valencia clean and fed until she met Russell. But she herself had never been taught the motherly love part. She had become so materialistic that the only thing she knew for sure was that her daughter had to be clean as a whistle every day.

  Russell considered himself a pimp. He had a few chicks scattered around, but he wanted Daphne to complete his stable. At age nineteen, Daphne was officially Russell’s bottom bitch, and she took much pride in it. She was an evil bitch. Every woman she came across she practically spit in their face.

  Daphne had never emotionally attached herself to her daughter. She fed her and kept her in fine clothes. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything went from sugar to shit when she finally fell off. All the way off. Everyone had front-row seats to see Russell tear her down piece by piece. Russell had her on so many different drugs, she oftentimes didn’t know what was getting her high. She just knew she got high whenever he was around. She had always been mean and cruel toward Vee. But she was all the child had. No matter how bad her mom treated her, Vee needed her mom. But when Russell got a hold of Daphne, it wasn’t just her being hurtful toward Vee. It was him too. She would hide under her bed when he would come around because he would have this look of lust in his eyes when he would look at her. He would slap her on the ass when Daphne wasn’t around. Valencia took after her mother in height, and, in looks, she was a beautiful little girl. She was tall for being nine years old, but her body had hardly even begun to sprout anything of substance. Yet and still, the men her mother brought around would look and make remarks about her looks. Valencia kept a razor under her tongue just as her mom had taught her to. It took a lot of bleeding from the mouth, but, at age seven, she had it down pat. She took her razor out of her mouth only to sleep, and, even then, she kept it under her pillow within arm’s reach.

  Valencia could hear every time Russel’s fist connected with her mother’s face and every time her mother hit the floor. She was scared for her young life standing at the top of the steps in her oversized nightgown rotating the blade she kept in her mouth. She did everything in her power not to look tempting to the men that ran rampant through their home. On many occasions, she
would sleep on the back porch so she wouldn’t be seen by the men who lusted after her body. On this particular night, she was done running away. This time, she decided to run to the fight. She didn’t know what had come over her. It was as if someone was pushing her. She ran down the stairs with nothing but courage in her heart, rage in her eyes, and a razor under her tongue. Not knowing what to do, she lunged for the big, burly man who instinctively punched her so hard in the face that she flew across the room, landing on her head. He was charging toward her when she was finally able to open her eyes. As he got closer to her, he snatched her up off the floor. He held her by the neck in the air. Her little body hung in the air as he shook her as if she were a rag doll.

  Slamming her into the wall, he snarled, “You want to be grown? I’ma turn ya young ass into a woman,” Russell gritted his teeth, spitting in her face in the process. He held her by the neck in the air as he used his free hand to rub all over her body. He stuck his hand in her panties and started rubbing. Her head was hurting so bad she thought for sure it was busted wide open. Vee felt like she had to go to sleep and couldn’t fight the feeling any longer. “You see yo’mama? I’m gonna turn you out like I did that bitch.”

  In that split second of him looking over his shoulder at her mother, lying there as if no life was left in her, Valencia had pulled the blade out of her mouth and sliced his throat in one quick motion. He didn’t know what happened. He just felt her move and noticed that his green silk shirt was now turning bright crimson. Then, he finally acknowledged the look in her eyes. They held an almost demonic glare. He looked down to see where the blood was coming from. After dropping her, he realized it was coming from his own body and grabbed his throat. She got back up and watched him struggle to keep his blood from spilling out. The gurgling sounds that escaped his mouth as he struggled to breathe reverberated off the walls. But he couldn’t do anything else as he fell to his knees looking the devil in the eyes as he died right there at Raven’s feet. Raven didn’t move until he was no longer breathing. She wanted to watch every ounce of blood drain from his body. If she could have, she would have sucked the life right out of him. His suffering made her feel good. Raven walked past Valencia’s mother as if she wasn’t lying there bleeding to death. She walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see what damage had been done.