The Adventures of Vela

by Albert Wendt

  Master Manogipesemalie’s elaborate training

  which as for the fishers concentrated first

  on developing dexterity of the smellsense

  Once the Master was satisfied with that

  he introduced a music smellvocabulary

  centuries long: all existence (even smell-

  thought) is a unity of smellsounds

  the gifted musicians’ genius could expand

  That language was usually nostril made

  using inhaling and exhaling techniques too

  complicated for me and mouth throat

  chest belly head and netherend as

  extension or accompanying instruments

  No other instruments were used and lyrics

  were secondary to the smellsounds which

  out of an accomplished smellsinger were at

  least five parts ranging from deepest bass

  to sopranos outside my smellhearing range

  Olfact music was also accompanied by

  all the smells smellcomposed into the song

  You may think that a fantastic trip but

  when you know the Olfact order of smellpreferences

  you’d probably gag and flee

  Apart from sulphur stench the depths of

  evil to them the other stenches to us

  they deem exquisite heights of goodness

  and fertility so in one of their typical

  love songs the beloved is described/smelled:

  ‘My love is like the malodorous scents

  of red meat melting in the breeze’

  Another: ‘Smell me darling wrap your

  fertile BO around me’ Yet another:

  ‘Darling we are one in your delicious fish stench’

  Here’s how I ‘notated’ in my memory

  one of the Master’s simpler songs – the lyrics

  first then the accompaniment as performed

  by nostrils and other expert organs

  including the extrovert arse:

  1 Beloved I love your skin fragrances

  2 The rancid fertility of your softhaired armpits

  3 is heady drug for my hungry breath

  4 Beloved I’m high so high on the aromas

  5 of your seaweed nest and tunnelled stream

  1 Sniff-SNIFFF lowgulletsigh exhalelongandburp

  2 Dizzylovesickinhaling-sopranosoftlongdrawnoutfart

  3 Spirallinginsuckingbreath-staccatobellygasps-onearseblast

  4 Sniff-SNIFFF-trillingbreathcrescendoingtosopranoinsuckingbreath

  5 Lowpanting one-two-three then loudwhoopingfartdribbling

  Of his pupils the Master chose a girl to be

  his heir The all-male Council of Masters

  argued against it so the shrewd Master

  set up a public competition for all

  musicians who aspired to his post

  In every category of musicianship she wiped

  the floor with everyone and then

  in the open category of improvisation

  and original song she revolutionised

  Olfact music by demonstrating

  new possibilities in the aromatic and vocal

  versatility of what only women possess

  (True genius is to take one’s art

  into realms undreamt of before) She be-

  came Manogipesemalie the 41st

  Their greeting was the sogi like ours

  noses pressed together to inhale each other’s

  breath but theirs assumed

  a very odd form: When the two parties

  meet and the male leaders sogi

  they also feel each others testicles and sniff

  their greeting hands in long drawn-out

  breaths (Women however never do that)

  When I sought explanation for this

  they said It’s how it’s always been

  But being as you know an insatiably

  curious student of humanity’s quirks

  I observed pondered and observed

  concluding that testicles being our vital

  procreating source should be greeted first

  and as our most distinct scentprint needs

  to be made known and trusted by guests

  first It was also related to Olfactor courtship

  and sexual love which was an elaborate

  dance of exploring the loved one’s

  aromatic print from hairtip to toenail

  and erogenous sole of foot and if com-

  patibility was found merging your essences

  as one temporarily or ‘until smell-less

  do us part’ as it were

  Your partner(s) could be of any sex –

  the crucial tie was aromatic compatibility

  You could also love/marry more than one

  To end a union all you had to say

  was Our odours no longer agree

  (6) Love and Courtship

  With my sexual preferences Olfact suited me

  and I learned through their smell techniques

  to enjoy loving women too (though I was

  shocked when I was first lovesmelled

  –their term for making love – by one of them)

  Like us Olfactors aren’t supposed to court

  openly lovesmelling is a private activity –

  only animals lovesmell publicly But again

  like us the love dance if you know its

  music and steps is ever going on around you

  In our society as in many others on

  our puritanical ship it is taboo to discuss

  sex openly or in mixed company or within

  the hearing of supposedly innocent kids

  Every storyteller has to navigate

  the delicate line between ‘the clean’

  and what is branded corrupting pornography

  Not that I’ve ever been scared of our ruling

  hypocrites and censorship but too clean

  a telling can strangle a tale and

  too selfindulgent ‘the dirt’ can choke it too

  So in recalling my initiation into Olfact’s

  lovesmelling art I’ll try to balance the two

  and not betray the honesty of my art or

  lose the attention of puritans and lovers of porn

  I didn’t see/smell it happening at first

  but Manogilaumaile later detailed how

  she’d accidentally sniffed my essences

  and her scentbuds had throbbed and sung

  She suppressed it though for weeks

  because how could she desire the essences

  of a primitive who was smellectually handicapped?

  Shame however couldn’t keep at bay the fierce

  hunger of smelllove she’d also been raised

  like all Olfactors never to deny the nose’s truths

  A humble weaver she’d seen three husbands depart

  for younger essences leaving her five kids

  old parents and other relatives to support

  One of the ‘silent majority’ whose uncomplaining

  slog kept Olfact smellaffluent and strong

  she said she’d tried repeatedly to attract

  my nose’s attention but couldn’t because my

  smellpower was ‘innocent and weak’ and

  being a proper Olfact woman she wasn’t

  going to smellpressure me in public

  So after weeks of agony she’d decided

  to follow her nostrils’ natural instincts

  secretly at night into my unresisting bed

  What a night it was! I now recall

  (And what love that followed)

  One by one my pores were sniffed awake

  to the inhaling fire and breath of

  the intruder’s skin around but not

  touching me and sighing nose

  savouring my head hair scents

  No! the whisper stopped my embracing it

 
so I held aquivering still while

  the youth so I believed lovesmelled all

  of me methodically from head to toes

  and back without touching my singing stick

  How I heaved groaned held in the fire

  as the anonymous nostrils foraged in

  and smelltuned my stick to a burst

  of white liquid petals my lover smell-

  licked to his coming as he fled

  I couldn’t sleep after that: my body was a taut

  drum skin being played endlessly by memories

  of my unknown lover’s inhaling sighing

  cooing heat Ardour had cooled with age

  but now I was again a raunchy greed

  For days I tried identifying him

  For frustrated nights that ended in shameless

  selfrelief he didn’t come to heal my need

  which forced me to court other youths

  who laughed me away as ‘primitive meat’

  To be free of this I decided to leave Olfact

  Word must’ve spread because that night

  after I’d packed and was trying to sleep

  my saving lover returned and kept returning

  anonymously for a night lifetime of my rebirth

  until I knew to my quick his every odour

  breath sound heat but not touch or taste

  for he never put flesh upon or in me

  I became addicted to lovesmelling techniques

  and we blew copiously nightly

  Remember that French artist last year

  who strangled his mistress put her in

  his fridge and feasted on her bit by bit

  And when questioned said ‘I loved

  her so much I had to kill her’

  Don’t forget also that Nafanua lost

  Her beloved Tagatalua when She tried

  to own her forever and acquired

  from a reluctant Tagaloa exceptional

  immortality for her in a riddle

  So not satisfied with owning my lover

  anonymously in only his fragrant beauty

  of heat and breath I plotted to snare

  his identity in the light (Reality

  I then believed needed eyes’ proving)

  We said little and after each lovesmelling

  rested side by side in the darkness

  Sometimes he slept but always left

  before first light One time he almost

  overslept and I promised to wake him on time

  For days I resisted my desire

  to see him but after each denial

  the yearning grew ravenously and found

  my groping hands trying to shape

  his body as he lay beside me

  Stop! he whispered That doesn’t add

  to the quality of our lovesmelling: we’re

  our smellessences – that’s what we must

  trust and love for they last forever –

  the feel and shape of body is temporary

  Not raised on the values of their smellculture

  I refused the truth of his statement

  My hungry truthestablishing eyes had

  to discover him add beauty of sight

  and colour to his other loveliness

  One night after I deliberately love-

  smelled him into exhausted slumber

  I pretended sleep and as daylight

  eased like probing fingers through

  the blinds onto his unresisting contours

  I watched through slitted eyelids the birth

  of his unexpected female geography

  and was surprised not to feel my usual revulsion:

  the Olfactor Way of choosing lovers

  through fragrances was now mine too

  Manogilaumaile woke thought I was asleep

  and fled into the startled morning All day

  I savoured her geography but that night

  pretended I didn’t know it However

  I started introducing her to our Way of Loving:

  a finger touch here there everywhere

  The following nights a lingering caress and fondle

  then lick of hot tongue on lips nipples

  navel belly and you can imagine the limits

  (Novelty is the spice of sex they tell me)

  As she learned (and she was a gifted pupil) she returned

  the pleasure which I then heightened by

  teaching her our erotic word vocabulary

  whispering syllables/vowels groans/moans

  phrases/sentences down her whirling earholes

  When she was ready I finally taught her

  the shape feel and hardness of penis

  the hot flow of mouth and the taste

  and promise of our style of sex

  As lovers we combined lovesmelling and fucking

  And what a combination! However

  though she now knew I was no primitive idiot

  she was still too ashamed to reveal our love

  to others and I respected her decision

  because I didn’t want to lose her

  (7) Justice

  I must now discuss justice in Olfact

  because that’s where my love for

  Manogilaumaile led eventually

  As in other societies Olfact justice is

  based on scales of punishment and reform

  from capital punishment to banishment

  exile fines and community work

  Their re-education programmes try to save

  those who confess deviant quirks and

  genuinely want to reconform to society’s norms

  Their capital punishment is not to exact

  the murderer’s life but to erase totally

  his olfactory sense and if he persists

  in his evil deeds he’s exiled to

  Motulemanogi Island-without-smell to survive alone

  Capital punishment can also take the form

  of exile to Manutevolo where he’d choke

  to death on sulphur stench (which as

  I’ve said is programmed into every Olfactor

  at birth as fatal reward for evil performed)

  Their Council of Justice comprises representatives of

  the Priesthood Smellocrats Masters and

  surprisingly five democratically elected commoners

  (Evil democracy is not a new threat) And

  presided over by Manogitupusili Smell-of-Supreme-King

  Who incidentally is chosen by the Smellocracy

  out of its ranks (in similar fashion to

  the College of Cardinals choosing the Pope) and

  Who rules until death or senility of

  olfactory sense or severe smellsense malfunctioning

  Manogitupusili is also Supreme Priest

  Supreme Master and most feared of all

  Fofosili’oagasala Supreme Healer of Crimes/Sins

  He needed no formal network of police or spies

  because Olfactors are raised to report all crimes/sins

  and become ill (sometimes fatally) from guilt

  if they don’t Individual crime is treated

  by the Council as action of a family so

  the family Head appears instead of the culprit

  and if guilt is proven it’s on that family

  who then implements the punishment on kin

  I saw parents destroy olfactory senses of loved ones

  exile others to Manutevolo to die and

  eye for an eye cut off guilty limbs

  or recite endless prayers of repentance

  Sentences of re-education are administered by

  the Supreme Healer of Sins and his expert cadre

  of Olfactorologists Olfactoriasists Olfac-

  torpractors and other specialists in

  the intricate workings of the olfactory and society

  From observing their work reforming sinners

  I was scared enough not to want
to

  study how they were trained by their Master

  However they were certainly clinically and

  thoroughly expert in their different specialities

  deriving immense satisfaction out of what

  one described as ‘saving the wayward

  the spiritually lost and ideologically incorrect

  for our great Atua ManogiPaiaoPaia Smell-

  of-Holiness-of-Holies Who into the odourless Void

  breathed all essences of Smell-Intelligence which

  gave birth to colour energy time matter

  and Olfact Nose of the Universe and Vanimonimo

  ManogiPaiaoPaia Protector of Olfact from

  the surrounding Abyss of Smellessness’

  My tale is deviating into their Religion

  I’d better return to Manogilaumaile

  For a while I was willing to let our love

  remain a secret – better a nightime Manogilaumaile

  than not having her around at all

  But as I’ve said we want utter possession of

  our lovers and before I knew it I was

  demanding tearfully that we live openly

  as a happy couple loyal to Olfact’s morality

  Not that there was a law against illicit sex

  She resisted and resisted distracting me

  with smellblowing bouts of loving and

  promises of persuading her family into

  accepting me a primitive alien as her

  spouse and their loyal servant

  The night was as still as the dawn before

  Tagaloa whispered the first Word into Vanimonimo

  Around me the dark was an orchestra

  of noses waiting expectantly to savour

  what was going to happen and I prayed

  she wasn’t coming but into my waiting

  pushed her hypnotic fragrances then

  the shuffle of her footsteps and body