The Exception To The Rule

by Rinyu, Beth

  I punched his home address into the GPS, which indicated I should arrive at my destination in approximately forty minutes. Driving in Chicago was a nightmare. It seemed to be a beautiful city from the small glimpses I was able to take in while trying to keep my eyes on the road. My heart was beating faster as I turned down his street. He lived in the Highland Park section of Chicago in a very upscale townhouse complex, surrounded by mature trees and lush landscaping. Most of the cars in the parking lot looked like they belonged on the showroom floor of a high-end car dealer. I pulled into an out-of-the-way spot. I turned the car off and just sat there, wondering how I had even gotten here. This was not my plan of action and I was beginning to feel somewhat like a crazed stalker. I watched people pulling in and out. Each time someone would exit a vehicle I got butterflies waiting to see if it was him. I finally worked up the nerve, taking the piece of paper out of my purse once again and reading the address. I had my hand on the handle of the car door preparing to exit when I caught a glimpse of him walking over to the black BMW convertible parked on the edge of the parking lot opposite me. I froze as my heart began to race seeing him again, looking just as handsome as the last time. He was loading a suitcase in the back of the trunk. I knew that it was now or never. I took a deep breath, opening the car door, when I saw a beautiful tall slender woman with long silky dark hair and a little girl following behind him. The woman was very well-dressed and looked as if she could have been a runway model. Julian picked up the little girl, who looked to be about two, and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she laughed. I was frozen, feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. A million thoughts raced through my head. Why didn’t James tell me he had a family? Maybe he didn’t keep in touch with Julian like I had thought, or maybe he didn’t want me to be scared off from doing what I had to do. I sat in the car for quite some time after watching them pull away. I couldn’t help but think to myself, that could have been Matty and me—we could have been his family. And for the first time I saw the effects of the choice I had made so long ago.

  I went back to my hotel room feeling defeated as I replayed the vision of Julian and his family over and over again. I was in such a catatonic state that I didn’t even call to check on Matty again. I didn’t want to take a chance of him hearing the sadness in my voice and I didn’t feel like tormenting myself by explaining it to Charles and Claire. I knew that this was going to make it even more difficult than I had originally thought. I felt myself becoming angry with him for walking away so easily that day telling me how he didn’t want children, only to find out that now he had one. I had been raising our son on my own for the past five years, so he could go and have his career because he didn’t want kids. I knew now that everything that I thought that we had back then was a lie. I was becoming more infuriated by the minute, now feeling as if I did the right thing by keeping this secret from him. He didn’t deserve to have a child as wonderful as Matty in his life. I had half a mind to just book a flight on the next plane home tomorrow. I knew that Dr. Fowler was probably just as qualified as Julian to provide Matty with the treatment that he needed, but then I remembered the bone marrow transplant. I needed him to at least be tested to see if he was a possible match. I began to wonder how his wife would feel knowing that he had a child out there with some stupid girl who fell for his good looks and charm. I was so mad at myself for being so foolish when it came to him. I quickly removed those thoughts as I began to think, if it weren’t for me falling for him so deeply, Matty wouldn’t be here.

  I decided to take a shower to clear my head. The warm water immediately aided in organizing my thoughts. I would have to go to the hospital tomorrow morning and leave a message for him and hope that he would call me back. This trip was an absolute waste of time. I could be home spending this time with Matty instead. I decided that I would try to see if I could change my flight to tomorrow, so I could spend at least one of my days off as planned. I finished showering, content with my plan. I blew dry my hair quickly and put on my nice soft pajamas that Matty had given me last year for my birthday. I lay in bed exhausted, still unable to get what I had uncovered today out of my mind. I tossed and turned for a while and then, much to my surprise, I drifted off into a deep relaxing sleep, something I hadn’t done in a long while.

  I woke up trying to put yesterday behind me and salvage something from this trip as I readied myself to go to the hospital. I went into the bathroom and washed my face. My eyes looked a little puffy but I felt a lot better, partially due to the good night’s sleep that I had gotten. I applied my makeup trying to conceal the small dark circles that I had under my eyes as best I could. I put on my long printed halter dress and black flip-flops. I gave myself one last look in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to give a little life to my waves as I pulled the top back loosely into a clip to get it out of my face. My nerves were a lot calmer now, knowing that there was no chance of running into him, since I saw him leaving for what looked to be a nice family getaway. I would have to deal with that if he called me back. I was just a little worried that I wouldn’t even be able to get a message to him. I knew that he was a very sought-after physician who worked on a referral basis only.

  I sat on the bed and opened my laptop. I wanted to switch my flight but was having a hard time connecting to the internet. I decided that I would check when I got back from the hospital, in hopes that I would have better luck.

  I called to check on Matty. There was no answer at my house. I called Claire’s cell phone. They were out to breakfast - again making me wish I was there with them instead of here. I was a little alarmed when she told me Matty had been running a fever again last night but she assured me that Charles had it under control. She put Matty on the phone so I could talk to him.

  “Hi Mommy,” he said, full of life.

  “Hey Matty, what are you eating for breakfast?” I was so happy just to hear his voice.

  “Pancakes and maybe some ice cream after,” he said, whispering the second part.

  “Ice cream!” I said. “It’s too early in the morning for that and why are you whispering?”

  “Because Pop and Mom-Mom told me not to tell you.”

  “I miss you,” I said, choking up.

  “I miss you too,” he said, sounding as if he were getting distracted, which was normal. He had a very limited attention span when talking on the phone.

  “I love you,” I said.

  “I love you more,” he said, giggling.

  “Can I talk to Mom-Mom?” I asked.

  Claire got back on the phone. She asked me if I had any luck tracking down Julian. I told her that I was going to the hospital today to leave him a message, leaving out what I had discovered yesterday. I hung up the phone feeling a little better hearing Matty’s voice. I just couldn’t wait to get home. I missed being away from him so much and I didn’t know how I was going to handle all of his overnight stays at the hospital.

  I packed my bag, so it would be ready to go when I got back. All I would have to do was change my ticket and check out, and I’d be home in time to tuck Matty into bed. I smiled at the thought of that as I closed my hotel room door behind me.

  Chapter 25

  I pulled into the visitor parking area, overwhelmed by the size of the hospital. It was twice the size of the one where I worked and this hospital only dealt with pediatrics. I stopped at the reception area to find out exactly where Julian’s office was located. I took the elevator up to the fourth floor. I prepped myself to make sure that I was successful in getting a message to him. I headed over to the nurse’s station with a stone cold look of business on my face. I was greeted by an older nurse who seemed like she ran the whole hospital. Great, out of all the nurses, I have to deal with the Gestapo, I thought to myself. She was fumbling through papers and barking out orders to a much younger nurse with whom I immediately sympathized. I could tell she was fairly new and inexperienced and this woman loved the fact that she could throw her weight around. I instinctively gave
the younger nurse a smile as she smiled back in appreciation.

  “Can I help you?” the older nurse asked in an unfriendly tone.

  “Yes, I wanted to get a message to Dr. Kiron,” I said, handing her my business card.

  “Is this regarding a patient?” she asked, giving my business card and me the once-over.

  “Actually, it’s not; it’s personal, and I just ask that you please give him the message.” I was growing more irritated with her rudeness by the moment.

  “The doctor has a very tight schedule, and I can’t make any guarantees if it’s not regarding a particular patient,” she said smugly.

  I felt my temper raging. I thought of Matty and my urgent need to get in touch with Julian or else I had traveled all this way for nothing. “Well, I don’t think that is up to you to decide who Dr. Kiron responds to and who he doesn’t. Your job is to just make sure that he gets his messages.” I felt my face getting hot.

  She was stone-faced, almost as if in disbelief that someone had actually stood up to her. The younger nurse stood behind her with a slight smile on her face. I knew that after that, she would probably just rip my card up and not give him the message, leaving me to have to call him after all. But I felt some satisfaction in putting her in her place.

  I turned around to exit, feeling defeated. I wanted to cry and then – I saw him. He was walking out of the elevator talking to another doctor. I pushed a loose piece of hair that had fallen from my clip behind my ear and bit my lower lip. I was frozen for a moment not knowing what to do. But I knew that this might be the only chance that I was going to get. I took a deep breath.

  “Julian,” I shouted. My heart was racing.

  He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes met mine. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach as he flashed that familiar smile that I had loved so much.

  “Dr. Kiron, are you okay?” the female doctor asked.

  “I’m fine, I’ll have the report for you later,” he said in a dismissing tone.

  I stood still, unable to move as he approached me. “How are you, Kat?” he gently placed his hand on my arm.

  “I’m well, thank you,” I answered, actually feeling my knees begin to shake.

  He was more handsome than I remembered. His hair was cut much shorter all over. His eyes were just as beautiful as ever; just like Matty’s.

  What are you doing here—are you here on business?”

  “No, not really,” I said nervously. He looked at me, confused, as if waiting for an answer. “Julian I need to talk to you, somewhere private.” I looked around knowing that this was not the place to do it.

  “Okay, I should be done here in an hour,” he said sweetly and somewhat confused. “There’s a coffee shop right at the end of the street, do you want to meet me there at noon?” He looked at his watch.

  “Okay,” I said in a very flat tone.

  “I’ll see you then,” he said with a smile before he walked away.

  I finally made my way to the elevator shaking the whole time. I tried regaining my composure before I drove down to the coffee shop. I window-shopped at the little shops that were up and down the street. I couldn’t resist going in when I walked past an old-fashioned toy shop that had unique toys displayed in the window. I walked around feeling a lot like Matty, taking everything in. I knew they wouldn’t have any of the action figures that he liked. Instead, I grabbed two puzzles, which were now becoming one of his favorite things to do. The lady rang me up as I looked at my watch. It was getting closer to noon so I decided to sit on the bench in front of the coffee shop to wait. I was checking my emails on my Blackberry and enjoying the sunshine when Julian pulled up in a black BMW. He looked stunningly handsome in blue jeans and a white button-up shirt. Nothing had changed about him over the years. I threw my Blackberry into my purse and stood up to greet him.

  “I really appreciate you taking the time to meet me,” I said, sounding very business-like.

  “No problem, Kat; actually it was a really nice surprise seeing you. You want to go in?” he said, opening the door for me.

  We walked into the coffee shop that looked more like a library. It was two stories and there were shelves of books lining the walls as people sat drinking coffee absorbed in their reading or on their laptops. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and freshly baked desserts hit me in the face immediately upon walking through the door. I looked at the huge fireplace that took up one of the walls. I began to picture this place in the winter thinking that it must be a nice cozy spot.

  We sat at a small table which was thankfully out of the way. “Sorry for making you wait; I just had some catching up to do. I had just taken a few days off to spend with my sister and niece who were here visiting.” His sister and his niece. I instantly became mad at myself for thinking all of the mean things that I had about him last night. I looked at him dumbfounded - he didn’t have a family after all.

  “So what have you been up to?” he asked, staring intently into my eyes.

  Let’s see—working, and raising our son for the past five years. “Nothing special,” was all I could muster.

  “Did you ever get married?” he asked, getting right to the point. I shook my head no, giving him an uneasy smile.

  “What about you?” I asked, making sure that I had been wrong in my callous assumption that I had made about him last night.

  He began to laugh, as if I were ridiculous for asking such a question. “I barely have time to sleep, let alone maintain a relationship.” He leaned back in his chair with his hands intertwined behind his head, assessing me up and down, so much like that first day I had met him. “You look great, Kat.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  I sat nervously, too uptight to make conversation with him. I knew that he sensed my edginess. I was always able to talk his ear off, but today, given the circumstances, I felt like I couldn’t get any words out, even though there were a lot that had to be said.

  “So how’s work?” he asked, trying to make small talk.

  “Fine,” I answered shortly.

  He nodded as if running out of things to say. I sat nervously twirling my hair around my finger, finally catching myself and stopping.

  “How’s James doing?” he asked.

  “He’s doing well. He and Tricia are engaged now,” I said, trying to add more to the conversation.

  “Yes, I knew that. I haven’t talked to him in a while. I owe him a phone call.”

  “So you’re Chief of Oncology now?”

  He nodded.

  “Well congratulations, I always knew you were destined for great things.”

  He gave me a warm smile. “So what did you need to talk to me about?”

  “Bone marrow transplants,” I said abruptly.

  He seemed to be caught off-guard by my brusqueness. “What?” he chuckled.

  “What do you know about bone marrow transplants?” Stupid—what are you saying? He’s an oncologist; of course he knows a lot about bone marrow transplants.

  He explained to me what I already knew, but I sat listening as if I were clueless. “This is pretty common knowledge that you learn in medical school,” he said, as if he wasn’t buying into my naïve act.

  “Yes, I know, I just wanted to get your advice, since you are one of the top doctors in your field.”

  “So you came almost one thousand miles just to ask me that? I’m sure you have doctors just as versed as me and a lot closer. That must be some special patient.”

  I felt like I was frozen and my stomach dropped. “It is,” I said, biting my bottom lip and taking a deep breath. There was a brief moment of silence. “It’s my son.” I paused for a moment as he looked at me compassionately. “It’s our son,” I continued, feeling the blood rush out of my face with those words.

  “What?” His eyes widened and his face showed pure confusion. He stared at me, speechless. I looked at him as my eyes filled with tears. There was a tormenting brief moment of silence. “
Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked with an edge to his voice.

  “Because you made it clear to me what you wanted out of life and that didn’t include a child,” I said, not able to get the words out quickly enough.

  The waitress came over to take our order. “Not now!” he snapped. I looked at her apologetically.

  He sat silently staring into space. I was wishing that he would say something so I could gauge how he was feeling. I pulled my wallet from my purse and took out Matty’s preschool picture. I placed it down in front of him, in case there was any doubt in his mind.

  “His name is Matty, he’s five-years-old, he’s a great kid, and he has leukemia.” I could feel my voice starting to crack with emotion. I had basically summed up everything that I wanted to tell him. I watched as he picked up the picture and stared at it intently. I could see the amazement on his face and I was sure it was over just how much Matty resembled him. “Almost like looking in the mirror, isn’t it?” I asked, finally breaking the silence. He was unable to answer. His eyes were fixated on the picture. He finally lifted his head. I could tell that he was getting emotional by the look in his eyes.

  “I know that I was wrong to have kept this from you, but what would you have done if I told you back then?”

  “I would have taken responsibility for my son,” he answered quickly.

  “I’m sorry, but I did the wrong thing for the right reasons,” I said.

  “What were those reasons? Can you please tell me what your reasons were for keeping my son from me for the past five years?” he asked sharply.

  I wasn’t sure what was worse—the anger in his voice or the sadness in his eyes. I looked around to see a few people noticing what was transpiring. “You left and we never spoke again because you didn’t want kids, do you remember that?” I asked, trying to lower my voice.