Meet Me on the Ice

by Laura Jardine

  Before she could protest, the phone rang. It was Marissa, asking to be buzzed up.

  “Thank God,” Zach muttered.

  When Marissa arrived, she immediately started cross-examining him. Mainly regarding his job.

  Elise thought back to his words a few minutes ago. I knew I shouldn’t be the first one here, but it happened anyway. Just her luck that when she finally met a man who was attracted to her—and her to him—he was determined that it shouldn’t happen. Curious.

  Still, that buoyed what little hope she had that she would find someone eventually. Though it was hard to imagine that person being anyone other than Zach right now.

  Marissa’s laughter drew Elise out of her thoughts. Right—she was throwing a party. Food would be a good idea.

  “I think I’ll put the mini quiches in the oven,” she said.

  “Why don’t you help her, Zach? I’ve got to make a call.” Marissa stepped out the door.

  Elise rolled her eyes. What a lame excuse to give them some privacy. Was Marissa even going to call someone?

  She and Zach chatted casually about their days as they put the quiches on a baking sheet. Like they were just friends. Like there was nothing going on between them.

  “Is this going to be a crazy night?” he asked as he took the final quiche out of the box. “Will you still be up for skating tomorrow?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “I’m glad. I’m looking forward to it.” And with that, he moved as far away from her as possible while still being in the kitchen.

  »»•««

  An hour later, everyone else—Jill, Curtis, and Rory—had arrived. And Elise was pretty sure she knew what Marissa’s phone call had been about.

  Her first hint that something was up: Rory kissing her European style on both cheeks after he came in the door.

  “What about me?” Marissa asked.

  He kissed Marissa too, but much more quickly than he’d kissed Elise.

  “You feel left out?” Rory turned to Zach.

  “No, I…uhh…don’t need to be kissed.” Zach’s eyes darted to Elise and then back to Rory. He frowned.

  Rory was wearing a sports jersey and had probably been watching the hockey game on TV before coming over. He was not the sort of guy who drank anything other than beer, nor kissed anyone as a greeting.

  “Thank God,” he said. “I didn’t want to kiss you, but it was only polite to offer.” He held out his hand instead.

  When he looked back at Elise and winked, she suddenly understood. And if she had any doubts, they evaporated when he squeezed her shoulder and smiled. A smile that was clearly meant just for her.

  Marissa must have told him to make Zach jealous. Because no way was Rory actually interested in her. For starters, he was happily married.

  Now the six of them were sitting in the living room. Elise was on the couch, Rory and Marissa on either side of her. Zach could have sat beside her—Marissa had only taken that seat after he’d pulled a chair from the dining room table for himself. But he seemed to be keeping his distance from her.

  “Next winter, when you’re a better skater, we should go to Ottawa one weekend,” Jill said. “It’s so nice to skate on the canal rather than in circles. You can actually go somewhere.”

  “Right now, those circles seem pretty big,” Elise said.

  Everyone laughed but Zach.

  “I think the skateway is seven kilometers long,” Curtis said.

  “Seven kilometers? Holy shit.” Elise couldn’t fathom skating that far. It would probably take her an entire day. But that might be a good goal: learn to skate well enough so she could tackle the entirety of the Rideau Canal. Or half of it—that might be more reasonable.

  Rory lifted his arm, and Elise thought he might put it around her. But he merely draped it over the back of the couch, just behind her shoulders.

  Which was enough for Zach to tense and look away.

  “I’ll go too,” Marissa said. “It’ll be fun. Once Zach has done all the hard work of teaching you how to skate.”

  “Who’s teaching you how to ride a bike?” Rory asked. “I could do it.” His offer was probably genuine and had nothing to do with his fake interest in Elise.

  “Everyone’s offered to teach me how to bike,” she said. “Which gives me the impression it’s easy, although I’m pretty sure it’s not easy to learn when you’re twenty-eight.”

  Perhaps she should accept Rory’s offer—it would make Zach more jealous. But she didn’t like pissing him off. It was flattering that this pissed him off, but she didn’t like playing these games. And she was fairly confident it wouldn’t work anyway. No, he would just sit there quietly and seethe.

  But not for much longer.

  Elise went to the kitchen to get more chips, and Rory followed her. When they returned, Zach was shaking everyone’s hand and saying he better get going. It wasn’t even ten o’clock.

  She walked him to the door and took his coat out of the closet.

  “Thank you for inviting me,” he said stiffly, not bothering with the friendly manner he’d had for everyone else just a moment ago.

  “Thanks for coming. I’ll walk you down.”

  “You don’t need to do that.” He opened the door and left one hand on the knob as he turned back. “I won’t let you.”

  He wouldn’t let her?

  “It’s my apartment and you’re my guest,” she said.

  She placed her hand over his on the doorknob. Heat emanated from his hand, either from anger or desire. Or both. Probably both.

  “If you knew what was good for you…” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down.

  “Are you saying I don’t know how to take care of myself? I’ve been—”

  “I know,” he said. “But where I’m concerned, I don’t think you do.”

  “So tell me, Zach. What is it about you that I don’t know?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t follow me. Please don’t.”

  The steeliness in his voice cut through her, and she swallowed hard. No one could affect her quite like Zach.

  He left. She didn’t go after him.

  Back in the living room, Rory was returning his wedding band to his finger. “That was pretty weird. He definitely likes you, but…”

  “I thought it would work,” Marissa said. “I thought he just needed a little push. But Rory, you didn’t try very hard.”

  “I didn’t have to try very hard. He already wanted to pummel me. I’m pretty sure if I’d done anything more, he would have left earlier.”

  Elise suspected the same thing.

  My God, she couldn’t quite believe they were having this conversation. A guy—a hot guy—was seething with jealousy when another guy paid her a little attention. No, this kind of thing did not usually happen to Elise Campbell.

  Rory turned to her as she sat back down. “There’s probably a good reason he won’t pursue you. I wouldn’t bother.”

  “Maybe he has a dangerous undercover job,” Jill suggested.

  “Maybe he just got divorced or his dad died,” Marissa said. “I’d give him a little more time.”

  “I don’t think that would do it,” Rory said. “Bad timing’s a bullshit reason.”

  “Why didn’t you walk down with him?” Jill asked.

  “He made it very clear I was not to follow him,” Elise replied, unable to stop herself from thinking about what would have happened if she had. If he’d pushed her against the wall, kissed the hell out of her, and then…

  Maybe she should care that he thought he was bad for her. But she didn’t.

  This year was all about trying new things and taking risks.

  »»•««

  Zach was desperate to spend some time alone with his punching bag. He was also desperate to spend some time alone with Elise, but that wasn’t going to happen.

  She’d flirted with him. So did you want to be the first one here? Since he hadn’t gotten control of himself fast enough, she now k
new how attracted to her he was, but he’d also told her no way was he going to do anything about it. No matter how desperate he was and how willing she’d seemed.

  When he got home, he went straight to the basement. This time his anger was all about Elise. And Rory. Not that Zach had any right to be pissed at Rory, but he’d had to leave because he couldn’t tolerate all the attention Rory was giving her. Elise didn’t seem terribly interested—she’d been more interested in Zach—but she hadn’t been repulsed, either.

  Zach would have done something stupid if he’d stayed there. So instead, he was punching the shit out of something made entirely for this purpose. An appropriate way to let off steam.

  While this was about Elise, his anger was self-directed more than anything. He was angry he couldn’t be the kind of guy, like Rory, who could go after her.

  He knew what would happen if he did: he’d fuck her a few times and then never call her back. Elise deserved better.

  Briefly, he considered that he might be capable of acting differently now. He was thirty-three. Perhaps—

  He gave his head a shake. No, that just wasn’t Zach Adams.

  And besides, it wasn’t worth risking what had happened with Sheri. Zach had been determined not to be himself with her. This was just after Darren started going out with Tracey, and Zach, though he’d never admit it out loud, was jealous of what his friend had. So he tried his best to make the next one last. And he succeeded. Sort of. Until he realized he couldn’t go through with the wedding. Luckily, they hadn’t gotten far in the planning and had only just started looking at venues.

  But that was really the only lucky thing. Sheri was heartbroken when he broke up with her, and she became badly depressed. She stopped going to work. She stopped eating. She never left her apartment.

  Zach couldn’t live with the guilt. He nearly took her back, but Darren convinced him not to. “If you can’t marry her, you can’t marry her,” he said. “Whatever happens now, it’s not your fault.”

  Her friends tried to get her the help she needed. Two years later, Sheri finally started to move on with her life, and Zach figured Darren was right. It was for the best that he hadn’t taken her back. Though he still couldn’t forgive himself for letting it get as far as it had, and he swore he’d never try again.

  That was ten years ago now, and he’d never had so much as a one-week relationship in all that time. A few dozen fucks, yeah, but nothing more. He only hoped he could resist Elise. If they had sex, it would be all awkward afterward and she would expect something he couldn’t give. He didn’t want to hurt her.

  He wiped the sweat off his brow and then kept on punching. This was going to take every ounce of self-control he possessed.

  »»•««

  When Zach still couldn’t sleep at four in the morning—which he blamed on working out so late, but really, there were so many things affecting his sleep these days—he allowed himself to think of being in bed with Elise.

  Well, not in bed. In his crude fantasy, she’d followed him when he left her apartment. And he took her into the stairwell and pushed her against the wall. Kissed her roughly as he lifted her dress and slid his fingers inside her. She groaned as he touched her, damp and needy. He couldn’t wait. He opened his jeans and took her, fucked her hard right there in the stairwell, kissed her to muffle her cries of pleasure. She was tight and eager and perfect, and he could think of absolutely nothing else.

  Zach had to jerk himself off before he could sleep. But sleep he finally did.

  Chapter Seven

  Elise had graduated from skating back and forth across the short end of the rink to skating around it. But it was still a struggle for her to keep her balance. When she stumbled yet again, she asked Zach if he could skate backward. And when he answered in the affirmative, she suggested he skate backward while she held onto his hands and skated forward. In fact, she grabbed his hands before he could even answer.

  “Why don’t you ask Rory to help you?” he said as they started moving, trying to ignore the feel of her hands in his, which demanded his attention despite the two layers of fabric in between.

  “I suppose I could, but…”

  “Why not? He seemed interested in you.”

  “He’s not.” Elise was looking at her feet, and he couldn’t see her face. “He’s married. Normally his wife would have come, but she’s out of town for the weekend.”

  “So his wife was gone and he… What the hell? Why didn’t you tell him off?” Maybe Zach should have done one of the stupid things he’d thought of doing last night.

  “Let’s sit down. I can’t talk and skate at the same time.”

  “I don’t see what there is to talk about.”

  Elise let go of his hands. She skated to one of the benches around the rink, and he reluctantly followed her.

  Once they were sitting, she said, “It’s not like that at all.”

  “So tell me then, what is it like? Because what I’m seeing is a married guy going after a friend of his wife’s, and that’s all kinds of wrong.”

  “Actually, I’m closer friends with Rory than Angela. We used to work together.”

  “And now he wants something more?”

  “No.”

  “What the hell was going on, Elise?”

  She just looked at him for a moment and shook her head, like she couldn’t believe how dense he was.

  Oh. Zach got it now. Elise had been trying to make him jealous.

  “Wasn’t my idea,” she said. “Marissa’s.”

  “What did you tell your friends about me?”

  “That I wasn’t sure what you thought of me. Though now I have a pretty good idea.” She scanned the ice and then turned toward Zach. “What would’ve happened if I’d followed you last night?”

  “Nothing good.”

  “What, are you a bad lay? Are you trying to save me from your horrible skills in the sack?”

  He hated being goaded like this. “Last night I made myself come thinking of what I might have done to you. And trust me, you would have enjoyed it. Even if I’d fucked you in the stairwell.”

  “I bet you’re the first man who’s ever thought about me like that.”

  “I’m sure you’re wrong. But I’m the only one rude enough to tell you about it.”

  She leaned very close to him; he could feel her breath on his ear, and it went straight to his groin. Even though she was dressed up like a snowman, he was getting hard. He wanted to unwrap each layer as if she were a present.

  “Last night I…” She shook her head and looked away. “Never mind.”

  “I think I want to hear this.” He was sure she’d been about to tell him that she’d done the same thing last night. Yes, quite sure.

  But he shouldn’t have said that. He turned away from her and faced the adjacent bench, folding his arms over his chest.

  She didn’t say anything, to his relief and disappointment, but she laughed and wrapped her arms around his middle. Even though there were many, many layers between them, her embrace felt warm and just so…right. This shouldn’t be happening. He should elbow her arms away. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  Goddammit. She was only hugging him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so affected by a hug.

  “We can’t sleep together,” he said, more to remind himself than anything else.

  “Why not? Do you turn into a frog in the morning?”

  Oh, God. She just wouldn’t give this up.

  “I throw you away,” he said. “Maybe not after the first time, but certainly by the fifth. And you deserve better than that. I like you—I don’t want that for you. But that’s just the way I am.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “Well, maybe it’ll be different since you like me. Maybe you’ll stick around for a bit, not get bored so fast.”

  “I don’t work like that.” He grasped her hand, intending to remove it from his body, but she just hugged him tighter. And oh, it felt really good, and he didn’t h
ave the heart to push her off.

  “You’re also making a lot of assumptions about what I want,” she said. “Maybe all I want is a little fling. Maybe what you and I want is perfectly in sync here.”

  That wasn’t really what he wanted to happen, but it was what he knew would happen. And he was certain she was all talk—she wanted more than a little fling.

  “That’s not what most women want,” he said.

  “Okay, you got me.” She slid one hand down to his knee. He wasn’t used to this affection. “You’re how old?”

  “Thirty-three.”

  “And you’ve never had a real relationship?”

  His jaw tightened. “I’ve had exactly one…thing…that could be called a relationship. That was ten years ago.”

  “She hurt you.”

  “No.”

  “You broke her heart.”

  “And the engagement.”

  “You can’t forgive yourself for that? I bet she’s forgiven you. And if she hasn’t…well, she’s got problems of her own. Not your fault.”

  Elise was undeterred. She probably thought she could change him—and she wouldn’t be the first person to think that way. But no one had come close to succeeding.

  “I don’t want to change you,” she said. “I just think you’re a different man than you seem to think you are.”

  That was a new one. “You don’t know me very well.”

  “True.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and nuzzled his neck. Like they were a real couple. “You’ve had one more real relationship than I have.”

  “What?” He turned around abruptly and wriggled out of her arms.

  She laughed at his shock. “No guy was ever interested in me in high school. Same thing in university—even in a male-dominated program.”

  “You’ve got to be exaggerating. A lot.” Pretty girl like Elise? No way. Unless she’d had a drastic makeover…

  Even then. He was sure she’d still look good with a bad haircut and ugly clothes.

  “Maybe a little,” she said. “But not much. I was so lacking in confidence, always hiding, shrinking from social contact. No one wants a woman like that.”

  That didn’t sound like Elise. Not the one he knew.