Meet Me on the Ice

by Laura Jardine

  “It’s hard to stop thinking of yourself as a woman no man could ever want.” She shrugged. “And while I might be more social now, it’s not like things have been all that different since I graduated. Though to be fair, I haven’t put much effort into dating.”

  He was trying to wrap his mind around this. And thinking he might be able to hurt her even more than he’d thought, inexperienced as she was. Had she even had sex? He’d been fantasizing about taking her roughly against the wall and she—

  “I’m not a virgin, in case you were wondering. I think you might have been—that’s how I’m interpreting the horrified expression on your face.” She leaned toward him, the tip of her cold nose touching his. “But men aren’t usually interested, so now that I’ve found a guy who is, I’m not going to give up easily.”

  Yeah, he could tell.

  She took his hand and stood up, pulling him with her. “Could you help me get on the ice? I’m still not very good at this part.”

  He nodded. “I won’t skate backward and hold your hands though.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  But ten minutes later, he couldn’t help himself from grabbing her hand and taking her for a spin. He knew she loved it, and he liked making her happy—and this was something he could do without any complications.

  And afterward, she was all flushed and so cute, and when she asked if he wanted to have coffee, he agreed, even though it was probably a stupid thing to do.

  Scratch that. It was definitely a stupid thing to do. She had confirmed that she wanted more than he could offer. This could only end badly. But he couldn’t help wanting to spend more time with her.

  Thankfully, the conversation was less personal than it had been at the rink.

  “There’s a storm coming on Tuesday,” she said as she sat down with her cup of coffee. “A rain-snow mix.”

  “So I heard.”

  “You got a driveway to shovel?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Luckily I don’t need to worry about that. Wet snow’s the worst.”

  She kept talking about snow for a few minutes, Zach only offering a few words here and there. The conversation may have been less personal, but it reminded him of Darren.

  There’d been another snowfall a few days after his funeral. Zach had called Tracey and asked if she wanted him to shovel her driveway, though it was a little silly to drive twenty minutes for that—it was only a few centimeters of snow. She told him the neighbors were helping her with it.

  Whenever he shoveled his own driveway now, at the back of his mind was the fear that he might die. Though it wasn’t so much a fear, just something that occurred to him might happen. Of course, the chances were miniscule.

  “You okay?” Elise asked, sliding her hand across the table to his.

  Zach wanted nothing more than to take her home with him right now, to forget with her body rather than the punching bag. But he shouldn’t. He curled his fingers around hers, trying not to hold on too tightly.

  He didn’t think he could keep resisting her.

  She looked down at their hands. “I’m thinking of going to Ottawa this weekend. Obviously I won’t be able to skate very far on the canal. But it’s their winter festival—ice sculptures and other things to do, too. I’ve never been to Ottawa. I was going to wait until next year, but why not? I can always go again.” She paused, and he knew what she was going to ask before she said it. “Want to come with me?”

  Ottawa was hard to do as a day trip, as it involved nine hours or so of driving to go there and back. They would probably stay overnight. She must know that.

  Screw trying to do the right thing. She knew exactly what she was getting into with him. He’d made that clear. If she didn’t like it when he left her, she could take care of it herself. Not his problem.

  “Sure,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

  “It’s what I want.” She put her hand on his cheek, leaned over, and kissed him quickly on the lips.

  “But it doesn’t mean anything that I’m willing to go with you.” Happy to go with her. “You haven’t changed me.”

  “I know.” She dropped her hand to the table and squeezed his.

  He pulled away and wiped her kiss off his lips, unable to bear the feeling of the wetness she’d left on him, the stamp of affection. Not without pushing her onto the table and screwing her senseless.

  “Was it that horrible, the kiss?” She frowned. “I told you, I really don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to these things. Perhaps you’re—”

  “Let’s go, Elise.”

  She jerked back. “Shit, you don’t need to act like the heartless person you think you are.”

  Yeah, maybe he was a little heartless, but she’d totally misinterpreted his words.

  “Let’s go somewhere else. Somewhere a little more private, where we can kiss properly.” Where he could turn all her touches into something sexual. He could deal with sexual. What he couldn’t deal with was affection.

  ∙•∙

  Elise thought Zach would take her back to his place. But he merely found an empty hallway in the attached building. Not romantic at all, but she didn’t care.

  He pushed her back against the wall, slid his thigh between her legs, and nudged them apart. His erection dug into her—hot and hard and desperate. God, he felt so good and they’d barely even started. He unzipped her jacket and shoved his hand up her sweater, squeezing her breasts.

  “Now kiss me, Elise,” he said, his voice ragged.

  As soon as she pressed her lips to his, his mouth crushed hers. Yes. It was coarse and needy and incredible, and unlike anything she’d ever experienced with a man before. He ground his hips against her, and she breathed in sharply at the heat and power of him. One hand palmed her nipple, the other grabbed her ass. Every inch of her body just felt so alive with feeling.

  His tongue sought out hers, and she let him into her mouth, tangled her tongue with his, wished their bodies were joined even more closely. Ached to have him between her legs.

  He brought his mouth to her ear. “Are you wet for me?”

  A stupid question. Of course she was.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He opened her snow pants, her jeans. Cupped her sex over her underwear. She squirmed against his hand, desperate for him to touch her more intimately.

  “Now tell me what you did last night,” he growled.

  She looked into his eyes, deep with desire for her—for her—and her breath hitched. She wanted to tell him. Oh, she did. But it wasn’t the sort of thing she was used to doing.

  Zach just stood there, waiting. He didn’t move his hand.

  She swallowed. “After everyone left, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And I…I touched myself.”

  “Just with your fingers?”

  “At first. But then…I have a toy. I pretended it was you. Can you touch me now?”

  He didn’t. “Did you come on my cock?”

  She gasped. “Yes.”

  “I fucked you good, didn’t I?” he said, his voice low. “Hard?”

  She nodded. She’d lost her voice.

  Especially now that the tip of his finger was circling her entrance.

  “You’re very wet,” he said. “When was the last time you had a man inside you?”

  He expected her to speak? She couldn’t. Certainly not now that he had his finger all the way inside her. The man she’d been fantasizing about for weeks was fucking her with his finger, rubbing her clit with his thumb… Words were not happening.

  And then he removed his hand and pulled up the zipper on her jeans.

  She heard it now, too. Footsteps, getting closer. She jumped away from him, her heart racing.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she said.

  “No. Not now.” He had her against the wall again. The footsteps had faded. “But sometime this week, I want you to think of me and touch yourself.”

  She nodded helplessly.

  “You gonn
a go home and do it now?” He smirked.

  She nodded again. She wouldn’t be able to think of anything else when she got home.

  “Thought so.” He looked so smug, damn him.

  “We’re going to Ottawa together, aren’t we?” she asked.

  “Of course.”

  “Go on Saturday…come back on Sunday?” And you’re going to sleep with me?

  “Sounds good.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and started toward the exit, seeming unruffled by the past five minutes. How could he manage that?

  Maybe because he did this all the time. This was nothing to him. She was just someone else he’d use and toss away. He’d told her as much.

  He kissed her again at the exit, his lips lingering on hers just briefly. She wished she could be immune to his touch, but she wasn’t. She was far from immune. Would do anything to tumble into bed with him. Perhaps he was right; perhaps he’d leave her and possibly break her heart. Perhaps she would only have the one night with him.

  But at least she would have that.

  Chapter Eight

  Zach wasn’t quite sure why he didn’t just take Elise home with him. Maybe because he was turned on by the idea of her thinking about it all week, touching herself as she thought of him. He’d nearly lost it when she told him what she’d done last night. And when he slid his finger inside her… Yeah, it was a miracle he hadn’t taken her right there in the hall.

  Or maybe this was mostly about delaying the inevitable: when he decided he was bored and didn’t call her back.

  As soon as he got home, he looked up Ottawa hotels. The first one he found was booked for next weekend. So was the second…and the third…and the fourth. Damn.

  He finally managed to find a reasonably nice one downtown. Only suites were left, but that was fine. He didn’t mind spending the money. Or sightseeing in Ottawa, even though he’d been there a bunch of times before. Or spending nine hours in the car with Elise.

  Zach was looking forward to all of it, actually. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked forward to something quite this much.

  He called Tracey to let her know he couldn’t take Maddie and Ethan swimming next weekend.

  “Big plans?” Tracey asked.

  “Going to Ottawa with a friend,” he said.

  “A friend,” she repeated, laughing a little. “A woman?”

  “Yeah, a woman.” He didn’t mind Tracey making assumptions. Perhaps because it seemed to amuse her, and he thought she could use some amusing.

  »»•««

  “If it doesn’t work out with Zach,” Marissa said over lunch on Wednesday, “I’m making you an online dating profile. How long has it been since you dated someone?”

  “Two years,” Elise said.

  “You’re selective.”

  “That’s a nice way of putting it.”

  “As opposed to?”

  Unattractive and boring. Elise shrugged. “I don’t get out much. I don’t meet many men.”

  “We’ll change that.”

  She had a bite of her sandwich. “Zach makes it sound like we’ll sleep together in Ottawa, and then he’ll lose interest in me.”

  “Are we talking about the same man here?” Marissa said. “The guy was crazy about you.”

  “And refused to do anything when Rory pretended to be interested in me.”

  “True.” Marissa smiled sympathetically. “Maybe you’re like me and have a thing for emotionally-unavailable assholes.”

  “Wasn’t that only Dan? You don’t usually date jerks.”

  “Yeah, well. I suppose it really was just Dan.”

  Elise looked down. “I think Zach’s wrong though. I don’t think he’s as much of a player as he seems to believe, and I suspect he’ll still be interested in me after we sleep together.” She covered her face with her hands. “My God, I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

  “What, talking about having sex?”

  “Well, that too. But I mean…I can’t believe I’m saying I think he really likes me.”

  You’re nothing. She heard her mother’s voice in her head. Nothing but a mistake. She’d heard it over and over, but the time she remembered now was her mother yelling those words while Elise made dinner, her little sister clutching her leg and hiding.

  Her mother had thought she was a mistake, but Elise had been the one who cooked and cleaned and took care of her siblings and tried to shelter them from the abuse.

  She was something, and someone could care for her, even if she’d been told otherwise so many times before. She deserved it.

  And she might not have gotten a date for prom—which had made her mother sneer and say “I’m not surprised”—but she was pretty, too.

  It had taken a couple of years of therapy for Elise to feel good about herself. Still, it surprised her a little that someone like Zach wanted her.

  But it was true. He’d made it clear.

  “Be confident,” Marissa said. “There’s no reason a hot guy shouldn’t like you. And I’m not the kind of person who says shit like that just to be nice.”

  “No, you’re really not,” Elise said, pushing aside her memories, and Marissa laughed.

  “But maybe this will just be a weekend-long affair, and he won’t want anything more because of his stupid hang-ups. You have to be prepared for that.”

  “Yeah, I am. Perhaps I’ll get hurt, but I’m determined to do this trip no matter what. I haven’t had sex in three years and—”

  “Three years!” Marissa spluttered, just as their boss walked into the lunchroom.

  Yeah, three years. But it wasn’t like Elise had ever had a lot of sex.

  She was really looking forward to this weekend. To being something she’d once thought she could never be—irresistible. Even if it was short-lived.

  »»•««

  “I’m worried about Brit,” Corey said. “Her relationship doesn’t exactly seem…healthy.”

  Elise’s brother had stopped by unannounced on Wednesday evening, apparently to discuss his twin sister. The two of them were now sitting at her kitchen table and drinking coffee.

  “Brit’s relationships are never healthy,” Elise said. “You’re the only one of us who’s had any success in that area.” Corey had been with his girlfriend for two years, and their relationship seemed surprisingly normal. Given their upbringing, Brit’s messed-up love life was probably to be expected.

  There was a long silence. Corey was probably waiting for her to talk about her own love life, but she had no intention of doing that. It wasn’t like there was much to talk about anyway.

  “Well.” He cleared his throat. “No matter how much…umm…experience you have, you know Brit’s relationship is a mess.”

  “Yes.”

  “This is sister talk, don’t you think? Any advice should come from you.”

  “So you get off easy? Or do you get to beat the snot out of this guy?”

  Corey smiled and shrugged.

  “Talking to her won’t do any good,” Elise said. “I tried once, a long time ago. Not with the last guy, but the one before him. And you know what happened? The next week, he moved in with her. It was like my disapproval pushed them closer together.”

  “But we have to do something.”

  “Brit has to do something. But you’re welcome to try. Just don’t land yourself in jail.”

  He sighed and sipped at his coffee, and she was struck by the resemblance between him and the lone picture they had of their deadbeat father. Same blond hair, same narrow face, same nose. And as of recently, same goatee. Brit looked more like their mother, and Elise barely looked like she was related to any of them. But her brother and sister were the only family she had, and she loved them to pieces.

  “I noticed a pair of skates by the door,” Corey said. “You learning?”

  “Yeah. Very slowly, but I don’t quite fall every minute anymore. I was about to head out when you came.”

  He started to get up. “Don’t let me keep y
ou.”

  “No, no.” She laid a hand on his wrist. “I’ve been every day this week. My body could use a break from the bruising.”

  “Wow.” He whistled. “You sure are keen.”

  “I’m going to Ottawa this weekend. I want to get in lots of practice before I tackle the canal.”

  “Who are you going with?”

  “A friend.”

  “A friend?”

  “I have friends.”

  “I know you do. But you don’t usually go out of town with them.”

  Elise got up and busied herself with pouring another cup of coffee. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her brother stroking his stupid goatee.

  “I think you need to shave,” she said, partly to change the subject, but also because she really thought he looked better clean-shaven.

  “Does this friend happen to be a guy?” he asked.

  “Perhaps. Perhaps we’re going to Ottawa to have crazy monkey sex.” And she hoped there was some truth to that statement, but she’d said it mostly to freak out Corey so he’d talk about something else.

  “You don’t like the beard?” he said, stroking it again.

  “Can’t say I do.”

  Elise returned to the kitchen table, but her brain wasn’t fully present in the conversation anymore. It was off having crazy monkey sex with Zach, like it had been for much of the week.

  »»•««

  After Corey left, Elise filled the sink with soapy water and started on the dishes she’d been neglecting. With all the time she’d been spending at the rink, she was a bit behind in her chores. And she washed only two plates and one bowl before deciding dishes could wait a few more minutes.

  She went to her bedroom and closed the door—not really necessary since she lived alone, but a habit was a habit. She leaned against the wall, hurriedly unbuttoned her jeans, and slid a hand inside her panties.

  Ohhh. Elise groaned and closed her eyes. Pictured Zach pressing against her, the heat and strength of his body. The solid muscle of his arms around her. The scrape of his stubble against her neck…

  She pushed two fingers inside her body. They went easily, wet as she was thinking of Zach. With her other hand, she grabbed her breasts. Kneaded them. Played with her nipples.

  When she was breathing unsteadily, now thinking of what he would look like without any clothes—the ripple of his muscles, the hair covering his chest, his hard cock… When she was thinking about that, she pulled off her jeans and underwear and sat on her bed.