The Heart of the Garden

by Victoria Connelly

‘You’re back!’ he stated, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes as if he didn’t quite believe what he was seeing.

  ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘Where have you been?’

  ‘I’m staying at Kath’s.’

  He frowned. ‘Kath?’

  ‘She owns the thatched bed and breakfast in the village. The one that had the fire.’

  ‘You’ve been right here in the village?’

  She nodded. ‘Kath’s part of the team at Morton Hall.’

  ‘I don’t give a damn who Kath is,’ he blurted. ‘What the hell are you doing moving in with her?’

  Anger flared up in her. ‘If you’re going to be rude, there’s no point in us talking.’ She turned to leave, but he caught her arm.

  ‘Anne Marie – don’t go!’ There was desperation in his voice. ‘Please.’

  She looked down at the hand that was still clutching her arm like some kind of mad claw and he relinquished his hold.

  ‘I’ll make us some tea,’ he said, and she watched as he headed into the kitchen. It was the first time in their marriage that he’d offered to make her a cup.

  She walked through to the living room and took her coat off, placing it on the sofa before sitting down. Grant joined her a few minutes later.

  ‘One sugar, right?’

  ‘Yes.’

  That he had to ask just reaffirmed that she was making the right decision.

  He took a deep breath and sat down next to her. ‘The girls were worried about you,’ he said.

  ‘No, they weren’t. They were probably just anxious about who would make their meals and clean their clothes.’

  ‘When are you coming back?’

  She frowned. ‘Grant, I’m not coming back.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’m leaving for good. I thought you understood that.’

  ‘You thought I understood – how the hell could I have understood that when we haven’t talked about it? I’m not a mind reader, Annie!’

  ‘Yes, well that’s why I’m here now – to talk.’

  He shook his head. ‘You’ve lost your mind.’

  ‘What?’ She couldn’t quite believe the accusation fired at her. Not only was it incredibly rude but it was so arrogant of him to assume that only an insane person would want to leave him.

  ‘You’ve got everything here. Everything. A beautiful home, two loving daughters and a husband who adores you.’

  A laugh exploded from her quite involuntarily, which surprised both her and him.

  ‘Were you just describing my life? Because I really didn’t recognise it.’

  ‘Didn’t recognise—’

  ‘You don’t love me, Grant,’ she interrupted. ‘You never have. Not really. You’re married to your work. I was just convenient to have around.’

  ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Because one of us has to and you don’t have the courage to admit the truth. And as for your girls, they’ve openly disliked me from day one. You’ve never noticed, have you? You’re so tied up that you never see or hear how rude they are to me and how much they upset me. I’ve taken it for as long as I can. You say this is my home, but it never has been. It’s yours. It was your wife’s. It’s your daughters’. But it’s never been mine. I simply held it together while you all got on with your lives. But it could have been anyone here in my place. It didn’t matter that it was me because none of you really got to know me. I’ve never even had one conversation with Irma or Rebecca. Not one – in all these years. I’ve been grunted at and complained to, and I’ve even had things thrown at me. Did you know about that? Did you know about the time I went into Irma’s room to check for laundry and she threw a pair of jeans at me? She’s a pretty good shot, your daughter, because the belt was still threaded through and the buckle hit me square in the face. You never noticed that bruise, did you? You never noticed it and she never apologised for it.’

  ‘That must have been an accident,’ he said. ‘She wasn’t thinking.’

  ‘Grant, that’s just one small incident. There are dozens of them, hundreds of them. I feel as if I’m being abused every single day of my life and I’m not going to allow that to go on, do you understand?’

  She stood up, her cup of tea with one sugar untouched.

  ‘I’m leaving you all. I’ve never been more unhappy in my life than I have living here.’

  ‘Annie! We can talk about this. We can make things right. I’ll get the girls and we can make time and sit down and talk about this properly.’

  She shook her head. ‘No. You say you’ll talk about it but, if I agreed to that, you’d be straight back in your study with the door closed.’

  ‘This isn’t fair. You’re not giving us a chance here.’

  Her eyes widened in disbelief. ‘How can you say that? I’ve given you all four years of my life, Grant. I don’t want to keep score here, but this is the first cup of tea you’ve ever made me, and the girls have never once acknowledged my birthday.’

  ‘Rubbish!’

  ‘It’s true. You just don’t want to believe it. They don’t even give me a card. They add their name to the one from you when they know you’re not looking.’

  Grant looked totally perplexed by this admission.

  ‘Listen,’ she said, ‘we have to admit that this hasn’t worked. We should never have been together, you and I.’

  ‘Don’t say that—’

  She paused before continuing, suddenly feeling very tired with it all and knowing that the finishing line was up ahead; she just had to reach it.

  ‘I idolised you when I was a student, I really did. I loved talking to you so much and I was flattered when I thought you liked talking to me.’

  ‘But I did—’

  ‘No, you didn’t. You would have been happy talking to anyone, Grant. I just happened to be the one who lingered a little after class. That’s all.’

  She waited a moment, as if to give him a chance to process this and defend himself, but he didn’t. He seemed to realise that they’d come to an end and that any argument he might put forward was hopeless.

  She picked up her coat and put it on and walked into the hallway. He didn’t follow her. She stood by the front door and took her keys out of her handbag, placing them on the table by the coat stand. She wouldn’t need them anymore.

  When she returned to the bed and breakfast, Kathleen appeared in the hallway.

  ‘You’ve been to see him, haven’t you?’

  Anne Marie nodded. She didn’t have the energy for anything else.

  ‘Want to talk?’

  ‘I don’t think I can talk anymore tonight. But thanks.’

  Kathleen nodded and Anne Marie made her way to her bedroom and switched on her bedside lamp before drawing the curtains against the cold night.

  A great weight of sadness filled her as she sat down on the bed. She hadn’t been sure what she’d feel after confronting Grant. Relief perhaps, but not this intense sadness. Did she still love him? It was something that she hadn’t asked herself for some time now, but she was quite sure that there would always be a little corner of her heart that loved her husband in spite of everything. She knew that she’d always carry with her those sweet early days when they had first found each other.

  Chapter 15

  Emilia was excited by the prospect of a meal with guests. Never before had she cooked for anyone at home other than herself, but there were two visitors at Morton Hall and that was cause for celebration.

  Emilia smiled to herself when she thought about her brother’s initial resistance to her friend Angela staying. He hadn’t made any further noises about her leaving, she mused. Emilia might not have seen a lot of them because they were spending so much time together but, when she had, Tobias had definitely been in a better mood than usual and that was all down to Angela.

  For a moment, Emilia tried to imagine what it would be like to have a dozen Angelas staying with them. How wonderful it would be to shock the empty bedroo
ms into life and to fill the place with joy. Perhaps there was still time to do that. Perhaps today was just the first day in a whole new life for Morton Hall.

  With Mrs Beatty’s help, Emilia set the dining room table with a beautiful red linen tablecloth, laid out white china plates and silver cutlery and the prettiest crystal glasses. It was probably a little over the top for a weekday lunch, but she believed in grabbing the opportunity while everybody was together.

  Jay was sketching in the garden. They’d been working on the portrait all morning and he was now taking a break while she prepared lunch. Tobias and Angela were somewhere in the house. She’d heard them laughing together and had sent Mrs Beatty to tell them that lunch would be served at one o’clock.

  As Mrs Beatty had left the dining room, Emilia took a moment to look around her. It was rare that she and Tobias ever sat down to eat together. More often than not, they would grab something independently of one another. They were, she thought, turning into their parents – leading separate lives under the same beautiful roof.

  Her parents had never entertained at the hall. To them, the house was a very private place. It seemed crazy to Emilia. Why have such a beautiful home filled with wonderful things if you weren’t going to share it with others? Surely you’d want to show it off a bit? But, no, that wasn’t the point of the Morton collection. Her grandparents had been the same, she’d heard, and their parents before them. But, just organising this simple lunch was giving Emilia so much pleasure and she couldn’t understand why her relatives had never done the same.

  However, once she was in the kitchen trying to organise all the dishes, she began to realise the work involved in catering for four people.

  ‘Don’t panic,’ Mrs Beatty told her as Emilia fussed over the dishes. ‘It all looks splendid.’

  But Emilia was beginning to have misgivings.

  ‘Is it too unsophisticated?’ she asked. She’d chosen a buffet-style spread, which included quiches, ham and salads and, as pretty as it looked to her eyes, she was worried that it wasn’t – well – elegant enough.

  ‘What are you talking about? Everyone will love it.’

  ‘Maybe I should have made a proper three-course meal,’ Emilia said, twisting her fingers into knots. But she knew that slaving over a recipe with upwards of a dozen different ingredients wasn’t her. Whenever she’d shown the slightest interest in the kitchen, Tobias had been quick to remind her that she was the lady of the house and that was what they had Mrs Beatty for, and so Emilia’s cooking skills were limited.

  ‘Come on, now – let’s gather the troops and get this on its way to the dining room,’ Mrs Beatty said.

  A few minutes later and everybody was assembled, their plates stacked high. Emilia sat next to Jay on one side of the long table and Tobias sat next to Angela. Both the women were wearing Victorian dresses. Emilia had changed out of the midnight-blue portrait dress she’d been wearing earlier that morning and had chosen a violet-coloured gown, and Angela was wearing a crimson one with lacy sleeves.

  ‘Emmy – this looks amazing!’ Angela said as she began to eat.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Tobias frowned. ‘You made all this?’

  ‘Yes. Well, the quiche bases were bought but, other than that, yes.’

  Angela laughed at Tobias’s expression. ‘You look so shocked!’

  ‘Yes, he does,’ Emilia agreed, ‘which is rather insulting. You know I can do more than sit and have my portrait painted, you know, or float around the house giving orders to Mrs Beatty.’

  ‘But your place—’

  ‘Oh, listen to him!’ Angela chided, leaning towards him and slapping his wrist. ‘You sound like an old Victorian. You should grow a twirly moustache to complete the package.’

  ‘I’m just saying that my sister shouldn’t be—’

  ‘You have got to lighten up, Tobias!’ Angela interrupted before starting to laugh and, to Emilia’s astonishment, Tobias joined in too. Emilia stole a glance at Jay and he looked as surprised as she felt. Angela, she thought, was good for her brother. Well, she was good for him when he was in this sort of a mood.

  She watched for the rest of the meal as the two of them flirted together. At one point, her brother picked Angela’s hand up and kissed the inside of her wrist.

  ‘Jay,’ Tobias said at last, ‘tell me about my investment.’

  ‘Your investment?’

  ‘The painting, you idiot! The reason you’re still here and eating my food.’

  ‘Ah, yes.’

  ‘Well, how’s it going?’

  ‘Good. It’s coming along.’

  ‘Yes, you keep telling me this, but I’ve yet to see the evidence.’

  ‘You’ve got to be patient, Tobias,’ Emilia told him. ‘These things take time and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with the result.’

  ‘Have you seen it?’ Tobias asked, turning to Angela.

  ‘No, I haven’t.’

  ‘Are you sure Emmy’s not sneaked you in to have a look when my back’s turned?’

  ‘I don’t think anybody’s allowed in that room while they’re working,’ Angela said. ‘If that is what they’re actually doing in there.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Tobias’s face darkened in an instant.

  ‘I’m just teasing,’ Angela said, but Emilia could see the suspicion in her brother’s eyes as he turned his attention first to her and then to Jay.

  Jay cleared his throat. ‘I’m a professional artist and, when I say I’m working, I’m working.’

  ‘I’m sure you are,’ Angela said. ‘I was just being silly.’ She caught Emilia’s eye and her smile vanished as she no doubt realised the implications of her teasing. ‘Anyway, what’s wrong if your sister has a little romance in her life?’

  ‘Angela!’ Emilia cried in warning, appalled at the openness of her friend’s conversation.

  ‘What? Aren’t we allowed to talk about it? I mean, you two are a couple, aren’t you?’

  Jay cleared his throat.

  ‘I mean, we are, aren’t we?’ Angela said, turning to Tobias.

  Tobias reached across the table and took Angela’s hand again.

  ‘Ouch!’ she cried. ‘Not so rough. You’ll leave bruises if you grab like that.’

  ‘You want to be a couple?’ he asked her, his voice sounding steely to Emilia.

  ‘Yes, but you’ve got to be gentler,’ she told him.

  Emilia watched them with an appalled sort of fascination and was heartily relieved when the meal soon came to an end.

  ‘Angela, will you help me?’ Emilia asked, eager to get away before Angela or Tobias thought to ask any more probing questions about her and Jay.

  Tobias didn’t look happy at this. ‘Isn’t that Mrs Beatty’s job?’

  ‘I’ve given her the afternoon off,’ Emilia told him.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Tobias, you keep telling me that it’s my job to run the house and make decisions concerning the staff, so I am.’

  ‘And you’re doing a brilliant job,’ Angela said as she left the table. ‘Isn’t she?’ She turned to look at Tobias who simply glared back at her.

  The two of them quickly cleared the table. Jay got up to help too while Tobias sat back and watched them as if they were fools.

  Reaching the kitchen, Emilia turned to Jay.

  ‘I’ll meet you upstairs in a little while, okay?’

  ‘You don’t want a hand in here?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I’d like to speak to Angela if that’s okay.’

  Jay nodded and left the room.

  Once she was quite certain Jay was out of earshot, she turned to her friend.

  ‘God, Angela, I’ve hardly seen you! What have you been up to?’

  ‘Do you really need to ask?’ Angela said as she placed her stack of plates by the sink.

  ‘I mistakenly thought you came here to see me,’ Emilia said, and she was only half teasing. She placed her own stack of plates down and that’s when she saw the r
ed marks around Angela’s wrist.

  Angela immediately saw what she was looking at and endeavoured to pull down the lace around her sleeve to cover the marks.

  ‘Angela – listen to me – there’s something I need to tell you.’

  ‘Angela?’ Tobias’s voice called through.

  ‘I’m in the kitchen,’ Angela called back.

  ‘Yes,’ Tobias said as he came into the room, ‘and you really shouldn’t be.’

  ‘Oh, listen to him!’ Angela teased. ‘You really should have words with him, Emmy.’

  Emilia was about to say that she’d love to have words with both of them, but that she just hadn’t been given the chance when, sure enough, Tobias took hold of Angela’s hand and Emilia was left watching in bemusement as her friend left the kitchen with her brother.

  ‘You look pensive,’ Jay said, putting his brushes down. ‘Want to tell me what’s on your mind?’

  ‘Not really,’ Emilia said, although she had to admit to herself that she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Angela since she’d seen the marks on her wrist and the fact that she hadn’t seen her for two whole days since their shared lunch.

  ‘Well, I can’t paint you when you’re scowling like that.’

  ‘I’m not scowling.’

  ‘Oh, yes you are.’

  She turned away from the window and sighed. ‘I’m worried about Angela.’

  ‘Is she still here?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I thought she was meant to be leaving soon?’

  ‘So did I,’ Emilia told him. ‘She was only meant to be here for a week, but I think she’s really fallen under the spell of Tobias.’

  Jay laughed.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ Emilia told him. ‘I’m worried about her.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because he’s – he’s not for everyone.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You know what I mean. He’s tricky. He’s hard to handle and I don’t . . .’ She paused.

  ‘Don’t what?’

  ‘I don’t trust him to be kind to her.’ She shook her head. ‘Isn’t it awful to say that about my own brother?’

  ‘Have you told Angela how you feel?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but I haven’t really had a chance to get her on her own. Tobias is always hanging around. Anyway, I’m not sure she’d listen to me. I think she’s really smitten.’