Sunflowers

by Melodie Starkey

  “Like a ghost?”

  “Yes, like that.”

  “Craig said ghosts are lookin’ for their bodies.”

  “Not true. He was just trying to scare you guys. Once a spirit and a body separate, that’s it. They’re done with each other. I think spirits are probably glad to be free of those heavy, clunky bodies, so they can fly away. Especially the spirit of someone who was sick or old or hurt, see? They would be so happy to be free. So we should be happy for them.”

  “I wouldn’t be happy if you died.”

  Gus hugged him. “I wouldn’t be happy if you died, either. But we aren’t old and sick and hurting. Okay?”

  Sam sighed, then threw his arms around Gus’s neck for a crushing hug.

  “Okay. Ready?”

  “‘Kay.”

  Sam held still fairly well through the speeches at the gravesite. Gus kept him back as people passed the grave to drop in flowers, not wanting him to see how deep it was. Just as they were starting back toward the cars, he glanced up in time to see Reece jogging across the cemetery toward Sarah, who seemingly hadn’t noticed him yet. Interesting. Where had he been? He certainly belonged here more than Gus did, even if they had supposedly called things off. This would probably be a good time to make himself scarce…

  “So you’re the mysterious dog man, right?”

  He turned. “Pardon?” It was her friend, Kristen.

  “Last winter. We heard all about you.”

  Something in the way she said it made him suspect they had heard far more about him than he wanted known. “I’m sorry. We need to be leaving.”

  She smiled coyly. “Don’t be silly. Things are about to get interesting.” She nodded toward where Reece had just taken Sarah’s arm. “I’m guessing he doesn’t know you’re here in his stead.”

  “I’m not. We’re just friends.”

  “Right. My ex used to say that, too.”

  Gus clenched his teeth without answering, picking up Sam and heading toward his car.

  “Don’t we needa say goodbye?” Sam asked anxiously.

  “We’ll talk to her again later. She’s real busy right now. Are you hungry?”

  Sam squirmed in protest, then suddenly stopped, his eyes locking on Reece, who was looking their way. “Okay. Can we go to McDonalds?”

  “How ‘bout we go somewhere nice, since we’re all dressed up and all? We can pretend we’re famous.”

  “Can I wear your sunglasses?”

  “Yes, you may.”

  Chapter 24

  He opened the door with a smile. “What took so long?”

  Sarah blushed. “What?”

  “It’s been nearly three weeks. Figured you’d be around before now.”

  “I’m sorry…”

  “Forbidden word, remember? Anyway, not your fault. Just a bit awkward all around.”

  “You didn’t have to leave like that.”

  “Yes, I did. Come on in. Want some ice tea or lemonade? Apple juice?” He led the way to the kitchen.

  “Tea sounds good. Where’re the guys?”

  “The whole gang is over at Angelo’s. I have this terrible feeling they have filled their sandbox with water and are playing mud monsters. I can hose it off Sam, but cleaning wet sand off Frodo is a major chore.”

  She giggled, sitting at the table. “This neighborhood is a great place to be a kid.”

  “Yeah. It’s like one big extended family. Except most everyone gets along.”

  “That wouldn’t be my family then,” she commented.

  “Mine, either.” He set glasses of cold tea for each of them on the table, then sat down as well. “So how are you feeling?”

  “Sort of scattered. I really miss him, but he was in such terrible shape for such a long time. It’s sort of a relief. I hope when it’s my turn I just get hit by a bus or something, you know?”

  He nodded agreement.

  “Is Sam okay? Someone told me you left because he was getting upset. I knew that wasn’t why, but was he?”

  “A little touch and go when he got the idea that they were actually going to bury him, you know? He was worried he wouldn’t be able to get out and fly to Heaven.”

  She laughed, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. “I’m sorry! I know that’s not funny, but… Oh, man! I’m definitely not ready to be a parent! How did you answer that?”

  “A rather awkward discussion about spirits which turned to the topic of ghosts, but at least he didn’t ask what was going to happen to the body after the spirit left it. And then he wanted to talk about Jesus. Me and Jesus parted ways about 18 years ago.”

  She shook her head. “How’d that go?”

  “I outsourced it. He’s got this buddy, Mike.”

  She nodded.

  “I got Mike’s mom to take on Jesus training for both the boys at once. Actually, she’s been doing vacation Bible school in the mornings with a bunch of the neighbor kids. Has the felt cut-outs and coloring pages from the Lutheran church and everything. Sam loves to come home and explain things like Daniel in the lion’s den to me. Except of course then he wanted a pet lion. And a donkey. And a few sheep. And to bypass haircuts for a few years so he can get his strength up.”

  “I love it!”

  “Only bump we’ve run into so far was yesterday at the grocery store when we saw a Sikh. Sam loudly informs me it is one of the three wise men. The guy graciously pretended not to hear.”

  “I did that to my mother once. Asked her in public why ‘that lady’ was chocolate.”

  He chuckled appreciation. “Kids’ll certainly keep you on your toes, that’s for sure.” He sipped his drink, then leaned back in his chair, gazing at her, poking around in his brain to try to rouse a clear emotion. He wasn’t angry. Not even especially hurt anymore. But the glitter had definitely rubbed off. Maybe that was a good thing.

  “What’re you thinking?” she asked, pushing her hair back self-consciously.

  He shrugged. “Are you busy Saturday?”

  She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Saturday? Why?”

  “If it’s not raining, I’m taking Sam and a couple of the others to Starving Rock to go hiking. Picnic.”

  “You mean that place with the caves?”

  “Yeah. You’ve been there?”

  “Once. You aren’t taking Frodo, are you?”

  “Wasn’t planning on it. Why?”

  “Did you ever read that Stephen King book, Cujo?”

  He laughed. “I have. And Frodo is vaccinated. And we’ll be steering clear of the bats. You game?”

  “All right. Sounds fun. Can I bring something?”

  “You have any specialties that can be wiped off a five-year-old relatively easily?”

  “I’ll give it some thought. What time?”

  She hung around, just chatting casually, until his very muddy son and dog returned, and then she helped with the group project of washing the dog with the hose, which the three of them together accomplished by getting absolutely drenched and soapy themselves. While Frodo rolled on the lawn to recover, Gus sentenced Sam to the bathtub, then offered her a t-shirt and beach towel to don while he ran her cotton dress through the washer and dryer. They called for pizza and sat on the back porch eating and relaxing until the mosquitoes grew too thick. She finally departed after confirming their weekend plans.

  When she was gone, Sam asked, “Is Sarah gonnta be our friend again now?”

  “Yeah, I think so. What do you think about that?”

  “She’s nice.”

  “You okay with me inviting her for our trip Saturday?”

  “You should tell her not to wear a dumb dress, though.”

  “Will do.”

  As an afterthought, Sam added, “Tell her Reece can’t come.”

  “Yeah. I think that’s a given. Ready to call it a night?”

  “Want me to tell you the story ‘bout Moses an’ the water?”

  “Sure.”

  “It’s pretty scary…”

&nb
sp; Chapter 25

  Slouched on the bench at the mall kiddie court, Gus guarded the two cups of melting Dip ‘n Dots while Sam and Jordan took a spin on the small merry-go-round. Some days when they came here, it bothered him that half of the women around him eyed him suspiciously like he was a child molester. Other days it bothered him more that the rest of the women seemed to assume he was either babysitting or having a visitation; they smiled condescendingly at his conversations with his son and made a point of scoping out his left hand.

  Today he was ignoring them all. He had woken this morning with a rush of energy, feeling this was going to be a day when great things happened. True, the toaster had caught on fire and the chain broke in the toilet tank and he found Sam’s missing green crayon in the clothes dryer in a load of bath towels, but those were all curable with a trip to the mall and enough ice cream. He glanced down the midway at the Piercing Pagoda and considered getting his ear pierced. What would Sam think? He’d probably want one, too. Well, why not? Earrings came in pairs.

  He looked back at the merry-go-round as it slowed to a stop, smiling to see Jordan slide over the tail end of his lion. Sam’s gazelle was already empty. He stood, peering over the other bouncing heads to spot him. Where was he? He couldn’t have gone far.

  Sam had seen her the first time the merry-go-round reached the far side. He was certain it was her. On the next pass he told Jordan, “I gotta go see my mom!” He slid off the animal as they turned again, and braved the ten inch jump to the ground. Suspecting his father would try to stop him, he quickly scrambled over the partition, and scurried to the print shop where he had seen her entering.

  Nearing, he knew he was right. He took her hand, announcing, “Look, Mommy! It’s me! Sam!”

  She spun around, jerking her hand free. “I don’t know you, little boy.”

  “Yes! I’m all growed up now! Don’t you remember? I’m Sam!”

  “I don’t know any Sam. Where are your parents?” She looked around nervously.

  Her companion raised his eyebrow and suggested, “Maybe we should get security.”

  “No! Please! I been waiting for you so long! Daddy said you went to see Mickey Mouse…”

  She turned away, trying to get the clerk’s attention to have security called.

  “Maureen!” Sam suddenly remembered.

  At this she wheeled about. “How do you know my name?”

  “Daddy tol’ me. He gave me your pitchers. We think you’re the prettiest lady in the world.”

  “Daddy?” her companion commented.

  “Oh, God,” she whispered, cautiously touching his hair. “Addison?”

  Sam grinned. “See? I knew it was you! I knew it!”

  She dropped to her knees, tears streaking her makeup. “Oh my God! Look at you!” She crushed him to her, then held him at arms’ length to inspect him, then crushed him again.

  He wrapped his arms around her neck. “Don’t cry, Mommy. I found you!”

  “Sam!” Gus called, running up with Jordan on his hip, then stopping short when he saw her. Maureen? “What are you doing?” he barked.

  She looked up, still holding onto the child, crying freely. “You changed his name?”

  He took in Sam’s eager expression and her raw emotions, and exhaled his adrenaline-pumped anger, shaking his head. “Not legally, no. But how’d you ever come up with Addison?”

  “It was my grandfather’s name.” She was holding Sam out to study him again, touching his hair and face and chest.

  “That explains what’s wrong with you,” he replied under his breath, noting the large diamond ring on her left hand.

  She glanced up, half-registering that he had insulted her in some way, but he was smiling. She finally noticed that her companion was shuffling uncomfortably beside her, his eyes moving from Gus to Sam to her, fitting together the puzzle pieces. She reluctantly rose, wiping quickly at her cheeks with both hands.

  Jordan slid out of Gus’s arms and told Sam, “Your mom is pretty like a movie star!”

  “I tol’ you so!” Then he turned. “Mommy, this is Jordan. Him and Frodo’s my best friends.”

  She managed a damp smile. “Hi, Jordan.”

  “You have a friend named Frodo?” the man asked.

  “Dog,” Gus explained, then held out his hand. “I’m Gus Moore. Ancient history.”

  The man smiled at this and shook with him. “Tim Odum. Affiance. I probably don’t want the details here, right?”

  “Hopelessly irreconcilable differences. Enough said.”

  Sam volunteered, “I c’n read. Sometimes I can count to nine hunnert if I’m bored. I can swim. So can Jordy. We’re takin’ lessons. I don’t even gotta pinch my nose.”

  “You are all grown up! My goodness!” Maureen exclaimed, beginning to cry again.

  Realizing Tim wasn’t going to do anything for her, Gus finally extended his handkerchief. She took it with a quiet, “Thanks,” and wiped her eyes and nose, then twisted it in her fingers.

  Gus put his hands firmly on Sam’s shoulders. “We need to get going now. Say goodbye.”

  “But Daddy!”

  “No buts. Your mother is busy. Let’s go.”

  Maureen tucked her hands into her armpits and smiled with her lips pressed tight, nodding at Sam that he should obey.

  “C‘mon, Sam. We gotta eat our Dip-Dots,” Jordan tried to offer.

  Sam started shaking with suppressed sobs, his look shifting between his parents agonizingly. Finally Gus picked him up, kissing him as he walked away. Jordan tailed after them, glancing back a few times. Instead of back to the play area, Gus headed for the parking lot. “What do you say we go have some lunch, okay? You want me to pack you an adventure lunch so you can eat in the back yard?”

  Jordan took hold of Sam’s dangling leg. “That’d be good. Can you pack some for Frodo, too?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 26

  Sam didn’t try to discuss the encounter with him, so Gus decided to let it go. He did wake to find the boy in his bed a couple of times in the following week, but when he asked, “Need to talk?” Sam just shook his head.

  Was he being selfish, not wanting to share Sam with her? He knew that was part of it. But on another level he felt justified. He had witnessed first-hand her hair-trigger temper. And so had Sam, even though he didn’t know anything about that. He contemplated seeing if she would agree to just visiting him at their house, but knew Sam would want more; wouldn’t understand why he could stay overnight with his grandparents or with Jordan’s family, but not even leave the house with his own mother. No, he didn’t want to step onto that inevitably slippery slope.

  One afternoon Gus was shooting baskets with Craig and a few of his friends while the neighborhood children and their dogs ran through a gauntlet of sprinklers they had set up to span several lawns. A black MGB with the top down turned onto the street. The teenagers stopped to gawk at the car and at the woman behind the wheel, but Gus just ducked his head, hoping she would drive on by. No such luck. She stopped suddenly just past them, then put the car in reverse, parking at the end of the driveway where the older boys were all standing, entranced. She climbed out, waving like a princess as she removed her Burberry sunglasses. “Hi, Gus!”

  The boys turned their amazed looks on him. One asked hopefully, “That your sister?”

  He scowled. “That’s Sam’s mother. And she shouldn’t be here.” He strode toward her, hearing the boys whispering to each other behind him. “What do you want?” he snapped at her.

  She kept her smile locked in place, answering, “To see my son. Our son. I just want to see him for a little bit.”

  “No. Leave.”

  But it was too late. “Mommy!” Sam shouted as he dove into her outstretched arms, drenching her Helen Wang sundress, Frodo on his heels barking happily.

  She swung him around, exclaiming, “You’re as slippery as a little minnow, Angel! Is this your dog?”

  “Yep. That’s Frodo. Isn
’t he the best!”

  “He sure is! Just like you!” She raised him up to rub noses with him, then said, “Now tell Daddy to stop making mean faces and do me a favor.”

  Sam giggled.

  Gus crossed his arms, still not smiling. “What?”

  She leaned into the car, holding tight to Sam, and brought out a digital camera. “Take some pictures of us.”

  “Yes! Please, Daddy!”

  He scowled a bit longer, then took the camera from her hand and quickly snapped half a dozen shots with Sam hugging her joyfully. Damn it; she was even more beautiful than when they’d met. What did she do now? It obviously involved significantly more money than being a loan officer. Or was this the Tim factor?

  “How is Tim?” he asked.

  “Just fine. Why?”

  “He knows you’re here?”

  “He knows I said I was coming here. He told me I shouldn’t.”

  “I’m liking him more by the minute.”

  “Which house is yours?” she asked Sam.

  “That one! You needa come see! I needa show you my bedroom!”

  She looked at Gus expectantly.

  He rolled his eyes in exasperation, but gestured toward the house, saying, “Better move your car.”

  She grinned and tossed him the keys, then headed across the street on foot. As soon as she was on the other side, the teenagers swarmed him. “Man, Gus! What were you thinkin’ to let her get away?”

  He snorted and shook his head. “You’ll learn.”

  “Learn?”

  “You’ve heard of hell on earth?” He nodded toward her, then started the car and pulled it over to his driveway while they laughed.

  He sat stiffly in the living room listening to Sam’s endless chatter and Maureen’s attentive replies. This was a bad idea. How had he let this happen? Maybe he could get a restraining order. He’d probably need a better reason than, “I don’t trust her.” He realized he had her camera in his pocket; took it out and reviewed the pictures. Sam looked so happy. This was his mother. A child needed a mother. He kept backing up through the pictures. A few amazing sunset shots of Chicago from an obviously high viewpoint near the lake. A couple of pictures of Tim in an Armani suit standing on a balcony. Tim in sweatpants with an Irish setter lounging across his lap on a leather couch. Maureen cooking in a stylish if small kitchen, wearing a too-big bathrobe, her luscious dark hair in wild tangles.