Sunflowers

by Melodie Starkey

  He gently touched the image of her face with his fingertips, then shut the computer down and took himself to bed.

  Chapter 30

  “Hey, thanks for coming over. Come out to the kitchen; it’s cooler. I’ve got ice tea.”

  Sarah followed him, glancing around curiously. “Where’s Sam?”

  “My parents have him for a sleep-over. Gives them the chance to try to raise a proper man, you know? Learn to kill things for no reason and blame the Latinos for every problem in the universe from pot holes in the spring time to earthquakes in India.”

  “A few unresolved parent issues there, by any chance?” she commented with a smile.

  “My sister and I shared a room for ten years. I know they couldn’t help that—the house was tiny and it was what we could afford. But tell me why I had to live with Barbie curtains and wall trim and pink bedspreads for her sake. Couldn’t they have found a nice compromise? White? Red? Stripes? If you ever meet them, tell them that’s why I’m a liberal, okay?”

  “Will do.” She sipped her drink, then said, “So what’s up? You seem sort of wound up.”

  “Mm, yeah. Actually, I brought you out here to abuse your friendship.”

  She smiled skeptically. “How so?”

  “I’m gonna wine and dine you, then make you give me tons of free professional advice.”

  “I’m a professor, not a stock broker.”

  “Psychology, though, right? I need to know some psychology stuff.”

  “I can handle that. What’s the question?”

  “I’m not even sure. That’s why I invited you over instead of just asking on the phone. It’s more like a discussion we’re heading for here. But let’s eat first. I made us reservations for seven.”

  “We’re going to a restaurant?”

  “For my sake. I don’t get many Sam-free nights, you know?”

  She grinned. “Glad I could help.”

  After some small talk over dinner about the trip home to Ontario she’d just made and Sam’s impending induction into first grade, he finally said, “Okay, let me tell you my problem.”

  “Shoot.”

  “It’s Maureen.”

  She frowned. “Should that mean something to me?”

  “Maureen. That’s Sam’s mother. In Disney World, remember?”

  “Ah, yes. You’ve heard from her?”

  “Yes. Unfortunately, so has Sam. Her sister lives out this way. We ran into her at the mall last month, and Sam has glommed onto it big time. He wants her to move into our spare bedroom.”

  She chuckled a little. “Guess he doesn’t know where he came from in full detail yet, huh?”

  “Very funny.”

  “So how’s she taking it? I mean, does she want to see him?”

  “Oh definitely. I’m sure if she had her druthers, she’d pack him off with her in a minute.”

  “You have anything in writing to prevent that from happening?”

  “I do. I have a court order granting me full custodial and physical possession. And she’s got a fiancé who’s not real big on this sudden surprise step-child angle.”

  “So where does she live? Is she going back to Florida…?”

  “She never lived in Florida. I just told him that maybe she lived there because she didn’t like the cold weather. See, the reason I got custody…she was arrested.”

  “Really!”

  “I mean, she’s not Ma Barker or Lizzie Borden or anything.” He sighed. “This is where I get all tangled up. Because I need Sam to never know this, see? But if she tries to fight for him, it’s going to come out.”

  “What happened?”

  “She hurt him. Sam. When he was just a baby.”

  “Hurt him how?”

  “She broke his leg.”

  “Wow! That is a tough one. Does she seem remorseful?”

  “Oh yeah. And I believe her. But that doesn’t mean I’m sure I trust her.”

  “Does she have an anger problem?”

  “That’s what I figured. That was why we broke up. I got tired of having dishes thrown at me, you know? But she tells me that’s not it. She says the problem is she’s bipolar. But she’s taking pills for it, and now she’s all better. Is that true? Is that something you can just take pills for and get magically all better?”

  “Oh boy. That’s a can of worms. You have any idea what she’s taking? How long she’s been medicated? Is she getting therapy, too?”

  “She does see a therapist, yes. The rest I don’t know. She told me it makes her feel neutralized.”

  “Mood stabilizer then. That’s good, as long as she takes them. Was she okay with taking them?”

  “She says Sam inspires her to stay better. She wants him to only know her that way.”

  “That’s sad. Even if she manages to keep herself together for years, he eventually needs to know. Needs to know just how strong she is. But if she slips, you need to be ready to explain to him. And to accept that she can’t help it.”

  “Do you think she’s dangerous?”

  “To Sam? Probably not. But I’m not her doctor. Still, you may want to wait awhile before you let her take him alone. Does she have a job?”

  “Yes. She’s an investments consultant at a bank. Her intended is a lawyer. North Shore types.”

  “So she’s doing well enough then. Maybe you should ask her if she’d mind letting you meet with her therapist with her so he can answer your questions. Do you think she might be okay with that?”

  “Mm. If you were in her shoes, would you be okay with that?”

  “I think I would. I think I might feel encouraged that you were taking me seriously and wanted to try to understand.”

  “Yeah. I’m afraid I asked a dumb Van Gogh question.”

  “Gus, you are so priceless.”

  He grinned. “Thanks a lot. You want dessert?”

  “Not here. Let’s get ice cream.”

  “Okay. Want to go see a movie after that?”

  “Movie?”

  “Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite?”

  She laughed. “Love to.”

  They sat on the couch with their bare feet up on the table, sipping white wine over ice while chuckling over their favorite parts of the movie. Sarah studied him quietly for a moment, then suddenly asked, “When’s the last time you went out, you know, like on a date?”

  “Honestly? It was the night before Maureen and I split up. I mean, we weren’t ‘dating’ per se—we’d been living together for a few years by then. But that night we had an old-fashioned night on the town: dinner, dancing, drinking. Both in a great mood when we got home. Next day, I slept in way late. Got up, and it was like Jekyll and Hyde, you know? Thing was, she was right. I lived like a pig. And she worked hard all day, while I was home making the messes. I’d probably get pretty fed up with me, too. I just think if we’d maybe talked calmly about it, we could have come up with a chore list or something. I just wasn’t up to negotiating while having things lobbed at me. I finally told her to leave.”

  “And she was pregnant?”

  “I didn’t know that. Honestly. If she knew, she didn’t tell me. That was April. He was born in October. We didn’t see each other a single time between that day and the night in February when she gave him to me.” He sighed. “I told you I was a lousy boyfriend. I was honestly just glad for the peace and quiet when she left.”

  She smiled. “So is she amazed at the change? At your wonderful domestic skills now?”

  “She asked me if I have a maid.”

  Sarah giggled.

  Suddenly a crack of thunder rattled the windows and jolted Frodo from his slumber. The heavy sky opened up, releasing a torrent of rain. Sarah glanced out the window and commented, “Yuck.”

  “At least maybe it’ll break the heat.”

  “I suppose. I just hate driving…”

  “You want to stay here tonight?”

  She looked over at him without answering.

  “We have that spare room, y
ou know. No one ever uses it.”

  At her hurt expression he laughed, then wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a deep kiss.

  Chapter 31

  Snapping awake out of a dream of Maureen, he was a little surprised to discover the body curled next to him was indeed a woman, albeit not the right one. It had been so many years since he had woken to female companionship… He slipped carefully out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to empty his bladder and rinse the sour taste out of his mouth. When he returned, he just stretched out and studied her for awhile. She was certainly lovely. And he’d had such a great evening, even exclusive of the sex. He reached over and brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek.

  She smiled slightly, cracking her eyes open, then smiled wider, closing them again. “Hi.”

  “Headache?”

  “Mm. No. But I seem to still have my contact lenses in. Probably not good.” She stretched, then moved closer to him and whispered, “I had a really nice time. Thank you.”

  He nodded and kissed her forehead, stroking her hair. She let out a quiet, “Mm,” and began kissing her way down his chest.

  They showered, then she donned one of his shirts and a pair of track shorts, while he just pulled on his boxers. They prepared a breakfast of oatmeal with fresh raspberries and cinnamon toast. Just as they sat down to eat it, the doorbell rang. Gus looked down, commenting, “I think you’re more decent than I am. Mind answering that while I run pull on pants?”

  “No problem.”

  As he hurried down the hall, he heard the awkward tone in her voice as she said, “Oh! Hello! Come in. You must be Maureen…”

  Crap! What was she doing here? He glanced at the phone as he stepped into his jeans; no, he hadn’t missed any messages. As he rushed back out, they both looked to him for rescue. He said curtly, “I told you to call first. Why are you here?”

  “I’m sorry. I… My parents are visiting Cathy. I was hoping… I’m sorry.” She eyed Sarah, then asked, “Where is he?”

  “With my parents. If you’d called, I could’ve told you that and saved you the trip.”

  “Sorry,” she repeated. “I’d like…could you call me when he’s…?”

  “Okay.”

  “At Cathy’s. I’m staying there now. Or call my cell. Um, nice meeting you,” she mumbled to Sarah, then darted out, head down.

  When the door closed, Sarah suggested, “You need to go after her?”

  “No. Let’s finish eating.” But his face was set in a contemplative frown. Why would she be living with her sister? Had Tim called it off then? Peacefully, or after a battle?

  Sarah took her leave shortly after breakfast. His parents weren’t expecting him to pick up Sam until after lunch, so he finished dressing and made the bed, then called Maureen’s cell.

  “Hi,” she answered softly. “I’m really sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about, okay? Where are you?”

  “Would you believe McDonalds? I’m going for death by hashbrown here.”

  “Come back by. Bring me a large Coke.”

  She giggled a little. “Okay. Fifteen minutes.”

  While he was waiting for her, he straightened the living room and loaded the dishwasher. When she arrived, he ushered her inside, then, before she could apologize again, he folded his arms around her. “That was awkward all around, but not the end of the world, okay?” He kissed her hair—god! she smelled so good!—then said, “Tell me what’s going on. Let’s sit down.”

  She sat with him and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “Not really much to tell. Tim’s firm really wouldn’t like to hear one of their junior partners was planning to marry some mentally disturbed person with a felony assault record. Perfectly understandable. I should have been honest with him up front. It was all very civilized.”

  “Oh, Baby.” He hugged her again as she started crying in earnest. After cuddling her for a few minutes, he extended the Kleenex box, then offered, “I hope you at least broke his television on the way out.”

  She laughed and punched him lightly.

  “So what about your job? Your things?”

  “I’ve got my job still. I had to disclose my background to them when I was hired. They knew they couldn’t discriminate against me legally. Tim’s letting me keep my stuff at his place until I find an apartment. Cathy’s so good at always taking me under wing, but I don’t think her boyfriend’s real keen on it, so I’m gonna try to move soon.”

  “Cathy has a boyfriend? I thought she considered all men banes to humanity.”

  “No, that was just you.” She grinned and added, “He’s a total dweeb. Sells boats and RVs. Wears plaid shorts. You know the type.”

  “Sounds like a match made in heaven. Do me a huge favor. Don’t tell Sam you’re looking for a new apartment until you find one, okay?”

  “Sure. Why?”

  “We have this spare bedroom. He’s already suggested you’d like it.”

  She laughed again, blushing. “Not sure your friend would like that.”

  “Friend? Oh, Sarah? We’re not…anything.”

  “Just share a wardrobe, huh?”

  “Mm. Friends with benefits, then. But nothing serious.”

  “Sam know about her?”

  “Yeah. I mean, we really are friends. She’s around when he’s here, too. But not at night. I’m not ready for that conversation with him yet. The religious stuff was bad enough.”

  “Religious stuff?”

  “You want to learn about why girls stink? Ask him to tell you his version of Samson and Delilah some time.”

  “Oh, Lord!” she giggled, then wiped at her last stray tears. “I so regret missing all that—his growing up.”

  “He’s still a little guy. Lots of growing up for you to get in on.”

  “Yeah. But all that baby stuff—the walking and talking and teeth and all. He didn’t even have any hair before.”

  “Here.” He opened the drawer to the end table, and brought out a photo album. “I’ve got tons more on my computer, but these were the ones I liked enough to want to save forever.”

  As she leafed through the pages of photos, she wiped her tears a few more times. He offered her a drink from his Coke. “What was his first word? Daddy?”

  “Would you believe something that sounded really close to ‘car’? It was several weeks before I convinced him Daddy was the center of his universe.”

  She touched him, smiling. “I’m sure he knew. When did he start walking?”

  “Mm. Well, he didn’t get his brace off until he was fourteen months old. But he took right off after that.”

  “Oh.” She kept her eyes averted, turning the pages in silence. She did smile when she reached Frodo’s puppy pictures: Sam and the big puff ball wrestling together on the floor and sleeping on the couch. There were a few pictures of their move to this house when Sam was two—he and the neighborhood toddlers playing in a wading pool together.

  “Who’s this?” It was Craig, asleep on Gus’s couch.

  “That’s Jordan’s big brother, Craig.”

  “Oh! He’s lots older, huh?”

  “Yeah. He’s 16. Nice kid. He pretends he’s my buddy so I let him play with my electronics. Their whole family is nice. They help me with Sam and Frodo sometimes. Look. This was the first day of kindergarten. That was tough on me and Fro, but Sam had a great time. He loves school. Has an amazing ability to remember things, unless forgetting them is a good excuse for breaking the rules.”

  “Ah. That’s what the memory check reference was about?”

  “Exactly. Hey, I need to go get him pretty soon. Any chance I can get you to come along?”

  “To your parents?”

  “Please? Pretty please? Sam will be thrilled.”

  “Don’t they think I’m terrible for leaving him?”

  “No. They still don’t like me. You’ll have their complete sympathy. Especially if you tell my mom I used to push the clean laundry on the floor to sit down instead of putting
it away.”

  This made her smile. “At least you admit it now.”

  “I’m a much better person now, believe me.”

  “I do.” She touched his face, then said, “If I go with you, will you please bring him out to Cathy’s tomorrow to go swimming for a little bit, so my folks can see him?”

  “All right, deal.”

  When they stood up, she asked, “How’s my face? Can I use your bathroom?”

  “Your face is beautiful. But go ahead.”

  “Thanks.” While she was gone, he put away the photos and took Frodo out back to relieve himself, then brought him in and gave him fresh water. Wondering what was taking so long, he headed down the hall.

  She was standing in Sam’s room, one arm crossed over her stomach and her other hand at her mouth, looking at the collage Sam had made on his wall of the photos she had sent Gus. Without turning, she said, “I love him so much!”

  “I know. And so does he, okay?” He rested his hands on her shoulders.

  “Okay. Don’t let’s get me all teary again.” She turned and hugged him, giving him a quick kiss on the chin. “Let’s go.”

  As they were driving, he asked her, “Did you and Tim ever talk about having kids?”

  “That’s part of the problem. See, I told him I couldn’t have kids. He thought I meant I was physically unable to have them. Then Sam pops up.”

  “But why’d you say that? You don’t want any more?”

  “No. I really can’t. The drugs I take are harmful to babies. And I can’t stop taking them. Certainly not to go into a hormone yoyo like a pregnancy. Look what happened… Plus it’s one of those possibly genetic things. I’d never knowingly risk passing this on.”