Sunflowers

by Melodie Starkey

“So Sam might have it?”

  She nodded. “Comes out in young adulthood. We need to be alert. But not to the point where we freak out when he’s just being a typical teenager. That’s what my doctor said: typical teenager and bipolar look an awful lot alike.”

  “Great.”

  When they arrived, he gave her hand a quick squeeze before opening his car door. Sam and Evelyn had come to the front porch to greet them. Sam shouted, “Mommy! Look, Gramma! He brung Mommy!”

  Evelyn frowned. “I see that.”

  Maureen whispered, “Oh boy.”

  Gus chuckled and raised his arm to wave. Sam jumped down the porch steps and raced toward them, giving Gus’s legs a fast hug, then making Maureen lift him. “Mommy! You’re here! I’m so happy!”

  She grinned and hugged him tight, exclaiming, “I couldn’t wait another minute to see you!”

  “Grrreat! Come see my Gramma and Grampa! We got a garden out back. It gots tomatoes an’ green beans. Grampa let me pick some tomatoes and we ate ‘em on our hamburgers!”

  “Yummy!”

  After twenty minutes of agonizing scrutiny and a gift of tomatoes and zucchini from his father, Gus managed to extract them for the ride home. Sam was so wound up he chattered nonstop from the back seat, while Maureen twisted around to listen earnestly. Finally Gus pulled the car over to the side of the road.

  “What’s wrong?” Maureen and Sam both asked.

  “I think you oughta just sit in the back seat, too. You’d be more comfortable.”

  “Yes!” Sam exclaimed.

  She blushed. “I’m sorry…”

  “No. Really. Get in back.”

  “If you’re sure…”

  When they were moving again, he glimpsed at them in the rear-view mirror whenever he could. They held hands, and she had her head tilted toward the talking child. Yes, she was smitten right now, but Sam was still on “visitor” behavior with her. He was completely charming when he was the darling center of attention like this. But Gus knew him as a real live five-year-old boy, still prone to tantrums and sneakiness and bouts of “but why?” until you felt like shouting, “Because I said so! Shut up!” Gus knew about diarrhea in the grocery store and bad dreams and growing pains and loose teeth and crayons up the nose and swallowed quarters and grape juice spilled all over good clothes and batteries disappearing from the TV remote to power a toy helicopter.

  How must she feel, to be this enchanted with her newfound first child, knowing she couldn’t have any more? Couldn’t try again to get it right.

  He thought of that morning, when she had first shown up. He needed to apologize to Sarah for that; for getting so distracted after that. The truth was, he had felt guilty for being “caught” having a life that didn’t involve her. Which was ridiculous; at the time he was under the impression she was engaged to another man. So how did he feel about her? He felt like begging her to come back, to give him another chance, to make their family whole. Which he knew was exactly wrong. He had to keep telling himself she would never be happy in his boring little world, and he would never fit into hers. It would be doomed from the start. And no, he didn’t feel so inspired to lie to either of them that he could change.

  Besides, what made him think she would even take him up on it? She was cordial to him and receptive to his comforting touches, but she wasn’t coming across as particularly interested in him. He remembered her flip, “Still playing games?” She considered herself and her peers superior to him. People in his neighborhood drove Fords, not MGs. The women in his neighborhood shopped at the local mall or the Target, not wherever she went for the hand-tailored clothes she wore. If he were to tell her he had made over a million dollars last year, would she even bat an eye, or simply give him some investment advice?

  He thought of Sarah: what a pleasant evening they’d had. But that was exactly because they both agreed it wasn’t ever going to become more. His place in her life was that of a “magic” escape where she could just relax and not be a serious adult for awhile. Once he got past being offended by that, it was really an okay role. At least now they were honest enough to be friends.

  In the mirror he could see Maureen pulling something out of her wallet to show to Sam, who announced, “He looks like a Dixie cup!”

  Maureen smiled. “He sure does. Maybe I should’ve named him Dixie instead, huh?”

  “That’s a girl name. Girls are dumb. ‘Cept you. And Nessie.”

  “Ah. Glad I’m in good company.”

  At the house, Maureen helped Sam get his pillow and suitcase from the cargo area, then stood watching as he and Frodo rolled on the floor to greet each other. She quietly asked Gus, “Mind if I hang around a little?”

  “Sure. I’ll let you guys be. Need to check my email and stuff, okay?”

  Sam bounced up. “You can have dinner with us! Daddy knows how to make fish sticks!”

  “Oh boy! I haven’t had any good fish sticks in ages!”

  “Any more sincerity and I’ll really make you eat them. With mayonnaise,” Gus warned her.

  “That an invitation?”

  “If you feel like pizza, ‘cause I’m not turning the oven on.”

  “Pizza! Yes!” Sam clapped his hands.

  “Pizza sounds good. I’ll even treat.”

  Gus smiled. “I honestly have plenty of money. Pizza is easy and kid-friendly.”

  “Understood. Now let me buy my kid a pizza or I’m getting him a snowmobile for Christmas.”

  He raised his hands in surrender. “Can I at least call in the order?”

  “Promise it’s not Dominos.”

  “Giordano’s.”

  “Excellent.”

  Sam begged to have her stay for his bath and bed, but Gus put his foot down. “No. You’re already too wound up from Grandma’s house. It’s time for Mommy to go so you can relax. Don’t argue with me.”

  “But Daddy!”

  “Daddy’s right, angel. I need to be going, anyway. I’ve got a long drive. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow for a bit, okay?”

  “Tell Mommy thank you for dinner.”

  “No!” He burst into tears and ran down the hall, slamming the door to his room.

  “I’m sorry…” she started, looking upset.

  “Don’t worry. He’s just over-tired. This is normal over-tired small child.”

  “Oh.”

  “Look, about the baths. At some point you might end up sitting in on a bath or helping him change his clothes or something.”

  She nodded.

  “He’s got scars on his thigh from the surgery. He only asked me about them once. I told him it got hurt when he was a tiny baby. That I wasn’t sure how because it was while you still had him; that maybe he had fallen. At the time, that was sufficient. But if you see the scars, he may ask you to explain. Whatever you want to tell him is okay with me. I just wanted to give you a head’s up.”

  She nodded, looking at the floor.

  “Maureen?”

  She finally raised her head, moisture in her eyes. “Thank you, Gus. For not telling him… For understanding.”

  He nodded and smoothed her hair back. She wiped her eyes brusquely, then said, “You’ll bring him by tomorrow?”

  “Sure. What time?”

  “Around two, maybe?”

  “We’ll be there.”

  Chapter 32

  “Jordan said if I come back over he’ll let me be the Sith Lord.”

  “As hard as that is to turn down, it’s going to have to wait. We have family plans. Take off your shirt; I want to sunblock you.”

  “Are we goin’ back to Gramma’s again?”

  “No. We’re going to see the rest of your family. Mommy’s family. You have some other grandparents, and your aunt Cathy, and she’s got some kids around Craig’s age who are your cousins. Mommy wants you to meet them all. They haven’t seen you since you were a tiny baby.”

  Sam’s eyes were stretching wider with every word he spoke. Finally Gus stopped applying the sunblock
to him and asked, “What’re you thinking?”

  “When it’s my birthday, can all my whole family come? Plus Jordan?”

  “We’ll see. I know Mommy will want to be here. Probably Aunt Cathy. We’ll see about the rest. Run get your swimsuit on. Aunt Cathy said you can swim in her pool.”

  “Yes!” He bolted for the bedroom.

  Gus went outside to call the dog in. He sighed as he locked the back door, reminding himself this was good for Sam. Maureen’s family had never been particularly friendly to him while they were together, thinking he was a shiftless bum because he worked at home. He knew Maureen was partly to blame for this; she never explained to them the sort of income he had, as it would have cut in on her martyr image. And coming off a nasty divorce to a cheating spouse, Cathy hated him just for existing in her baby sister’s life. It had been Cathy’s finest hour to come over after he threw Maureen out, to tell him what a loser scumbag pig he was while retrieving Maureen’s belongings.

  He had crossed paths with all of Maureen’s family after her arrest when they tried to take custody of his son from him.

  Fortunately, Mr. Harris from Child Services had persuaded the judge that Gus was abundantly capable of raising the child and attending to his medical needs at the time. Was Maureen aware of all that? He doubted it; the whole family had always treated her so delicately, like they couldn’t talk about anything unpleasant around her. At the time he had thought it was just because she was so spoiled; now he wondered if they knew from experience not to do anything to set her off.

  “I needa envelope,” Sam announced, getting his attention.

  “Okay. For what?”

  “I made somethin’ for Mommy.”

  “Can I see?”

  “No. It’s a surprise. You gotta wait, too.”

  “Okay. Here you go. ‘Bout ready?”

  Sam fitted the folded up lump of green construction paper in the envelope and licked it too much to stick. When he frowned at it, Gus offered, “Tape.” They fixed the problem, then donned their sunglasses and headed out.

  As they slowed to a stop in front of Cathy’s house, they both took in the tall, psuedo-colonial structure with the three car garage and a garish mailbox shaped like a carriage house. Sam leaned forward. “Are they movie stars?”

  “No. Aunt Cathy knows how to divorce well. Let me tell you a secret though. You and I have more money than all of the people here added together. But they don’t need to know that, okay? I’m saving it for when you grow up so I can buy you everything.”

  “Thank you,” Sam answered humbly, then added, “If you wanted to buy me a bike right now, I’d be happy.”

  “Would you be even happier if I bought two of them so you and Jordan could learn together?”

  “You’d buy a bike for Jordan, too?”

  “Of course. If you want, I can buy one for every kid in your school.”

  Now Sam laughed. “Buy a million new bikes!”

  “Or three or four hundred, yeah. Anyway, you ready to go swimming?”

  Sam hopped out of the car, pulling his bathing suit out of his butt crack, then said, “Could you comb my hair?”

  “I could, but I might have a heart attack over your asking me to.”

  “Daddy.”

  Gus dragged a comb through his soft waves, then said, “Okay, let’s go.”

  Cathy met them at the front door, a toy poodle with a skin condition tucked in her arm. “Hello, August.”

  “Lady Catherine. Cleaning rats from the cellar?”

  “Mm, drop dead, would you? Everyone’s out back.” She leaned down and bared her large teeth. “Hi, Addison! Aren’t you a cutie!”

  “My name is Sam. Are you Mommy’s sister or are you the other Grandma?”

  Gus beamed delight as Cathy muttered, “Just like his father, I see.” Then louder she answered, “I’m your Auntie Cathy. Let’s go find your mommy.” She took his hand.

  Gus reluctantly followed, hesitating in the doorway as Sam pulled loose from Cathy and ran into Maureen’s arms for a hug and kiss, then helped himself up onto her lap and delivered his envelope. As she was opening it, she looked up and smiled gratitude at Gus. The others refused to acknowledge Gus’s presence, except Cathy’s teenage daughters, who were eyeing him curiously and giggling to each other. They appeared to be as unpleasant now as he remembered them to be as smelly eight and ten year olds. Which gave him pause: what if Sam had been a girl? Would he have fought to keep her? Of course. Would he have been allowed to?

  Maureen unfolded the paper and held it up, then gave Sam a crushing hug, telling him it was beautiful. She called to Gus, “Come see!”

  He surrendered his wallflower spot and approached, feeling their disdainful looks boring into him. But he locked eyes with Maureen, and she seemed so genuinely happy to see him—actually him, not just Sam—that when he reached her he leaned over and quickly kissed her lips.

  After a startled inhale, she actually smiled wider, putting her hand on his arm. “Look what Sammy made!”

  The picture was of a woman, a child, a man, and a large blob labeled Frodo. The people were holding hands and had hearts floating all around them.

  Sam was watching him anxiously. “Hey! That’s a terrific picture!” Gus assured him.

  “So, Addison, you want to go for a swim?” Maureen’s father asked jovially.

  Maureen sharply answered, “His name is Sam. I told you before. He goes by Sam. You need to respect that.”

  Sam gave her a wet kiss, saying, “It’s okay, Mommy. They can call me Addison if they want. My other Grandma forgets and calls me Gus lots of times.” Then he slipped off her lap to join the man pool-side.

  Gus raised an eyebrow—this was news to him! He squeezed Maureen’s shoulder gently, murmuring, “It’s okay. Really.”

  “No, it’s not! I told them you changed it! They’re being rude…”

  “I never changed it. Really. Sam is just a nickname. Everything legal still says Addison, okay?”

  She sighed. “Okay. Let me put this in my purse so it doesn’t get wet.” She got up and retreated into the house.

  “So, Gus,” Mrs. Lester said, “Have you gotten a job yet?”

  “No. Still staying at home, playing with my computers all day. How about you?”

  She pursed her lips and looked away. A balding, short man with a bad comb-over and a pencil mustache approached, holding his hand out in an over-assertive fashion. Must be the RV salesman boyfriend. “Hello! You must be Gus! I’m Dave! I’ve heard so much about you!”

  He shook hands, smiling. “Don’t believe any of it.”

  Dave chuckled too heartily, then said, “So what is it you do? I’m in sales myself.”

  “Software designer. But I work from home, so I can’t seem to convince these guys it’s an actual career.”

  “Really! Are you…successful? I mean, not trying to pry, but it seems you could make some serious change that way.”

  “I make a lot of money, yes. Thank you for acknowledging that. Even my parents think I’m a bum.”

  Dave chuckled sincerely this time. “Good luck getting this crowd to ever accept you.”

  “Gave up on them eight years ago, trust me. And that was before I ruined their princess’s life.”

  “Yeah. Want a beer?”

  “Thanks.”

  When Maureen came back out, she was wearing a bathing suit. It was a dark one-piece and modestly cut, but she looked so much sexier than her malnourished nieces in their bikinis or Cathy with her pear butt and underdeveloped chest, that Gus blushed and looked away, only to find Dave was ogling her. Once Maureen slipped under the water and emerged again near Sam and her father, Dave looked back over at Gus and grinned sheepishly. “Don’t know what that lawyer fellah was thinkin’ to cut her loose.”

  “Ngh.”

  Eventually, Sam came to roost on Gus’s lap, and the teenagers came over to flirt with them. They kept asking Sam questions with double entendre, then giggling at his simple answe
rs. Gus hoped Maureen would step in before he felt compelled to, which would anger everyone. Finally the younger one, Kristen, asked, “Sammy, who’s prettier, me or Chloe?”

  Sam shrugged. “I hate girls. Me an’ Jordan think girls are smelly.”

  After a round of giggling, she pursued it. “Who’s Jordan?”

  “He’s my best friend. He’s gonna let me be the Sith Lord next time.”

  She sat back a little, her expression changing. “The Sith Lord is ugly. Wait here. I have a present for you.” She ran into the house.

  Sam turned to Gus. “Why’s she givin’ me a present?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Chloe asked, “Uncle Gus, will you rub lotion on me?”

  “No. And I’m not your uncle. Go talk to your grandmother about that.”

  She squinted, then asked, “Aren’t you going to marry Aunt Maureen?”

  He felt Sam come to full attention. He carefully answered, “That’s no concern of yours. But that isn’t in either of our immediate plans, no.”

  Just then Kristen burst out of the house with an armload of black fabric. “Look, Sam!”

  “What is it?”

  She dropped it on an empty lounge chair, then raised it up: a black floor length cape, and the true treasure—a full head Darth Maul mask. “I got it for Halloween when I was ten. You can have it.”

  Sam jumped off of Gus’s lap and took the mask from her like a fragile heirloom. “This is terrific! This is so great! Thank you so much!” He turned to Gus. “Can I keep it?”

  “Yes.” Gus smiled at the girl. “Thank you. That’s nice of you.”

  “That’s okay. Mom told us you don’t have a job or anything.”

  He bit his lip a moment, then asked, “Any chance either of you knows how to use the Internet?”

  “Duh. Who doesn’t?”

  He smiled. “Google me some time. And show it to your mother.”

  Both girls frowned skeptically, then looked at each other before darting into the house. Gus quickly suggested, “You ready to leave so you can show Jordan your outfit before it gets too late?”

  “But…”

  “Go tell your grandparents goodbye, then ask your mom to come see us later, how’s that?”