Little Cowgirl on His Doorstep (Mills & Boon Cherish) (Cadence Creek Cowboys - Book 3)

by Alward, Donna

  “You said you didn’t want me to hide. So here I am. Are you going to run now, Callum?”

  She was inviting him to a game of sexual chicken and she knew it, but she was tired of thinking—of overthinking—every single decision.

  His answer was to kiss her again, sending her pulse clamoring to every part of her body. Somewhere in the back of her head a voice murmured that sleeping with him would be a mistake. But the voice that craved him, the part of her that listened to the ticking clock counting down to the moment she would leave, overruled it.

  “Avery,” he whispered.

  His voice was not angry. The way he said her name was a tone of absolute acceptance. A quiet confirmation that she’d maybe broken through the barriers of resentment, of guilt and of pain. It held the featherlight wonder of seeing her—really seeing her—for the first time, weighted down by the gravity of feelings and responsibilities. Hearing her name on his lips brought a longing for him that was alternately exhilarating and terrifying.

  “I’m right here,” she answered, her throat tight.

  “Tomorrow…”

  She pressed her finger to his lips. “I don’t want to think about tomorrow. That’s all I ever do. Worry and plan and think. For once, let’s worry about tomorrow when we get there.”

  His hand slid down her bare arm, past her wrist and came to rest on her hip, his fingers reaching dangerously close to the back pocket of her jeans. He kissed her again, slower now, without the fast burn of anger and frustration. With beautiful, wordless intent. Maybe it was a mistake but she didn’t intend to stop him. It was messy, it was complicated and it was risky. But in her heart Avery also knew it was right. And that now that she understood the why of Callum, it could only get better. She had to believe that.

  So when he slid an arm beneath her knees and lifted her into his embrace, she held on. His boots sounded hollow on the hardwood in the hall as they bypassed her bedroom and continued on to his.

  And once he stepped inside, he closed the door, shutting them away from the rest of the world.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  SUNLIGHT STREAMED INTO the room as Avery woke. The other side of the bed was empty, just as it had been yesterday morning when she’d awakened with the memory of him still imprinted on her skin. Callum would be out doing the milking and chores right now, but the scent of him was still on the sheets. Avery took a few moments to close her eyes and curl up in the soft cotton. Soon Nell would be awake and the day would start. Her last full day in Cadence Creek. Her last day with Callum.

  She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. They’d agreed to avoid the topic of her leaving for the past thirty-six hours. Not talking about it didn’t mean she hadn’t thought about it constantly, though. More than ever, Avery felt the urge to start over, make a new life here in Cadence Creek.

  But Callum hadn’t so much as breathed a word about her staying. And as much as the last two nights had been fantastic, she knew they had to talk about it sooner or later. If he wasn’t going to ask, they had to at least talk about how to proceed in the weeks and months ahead. For Nell’s sake.

  It wasn’t a conversation she was looking forward to having. It was full of potential emotional land mines. She wasn’t sure how she could get through it without revealing too many of her feelings. And as fantastic as the last two nights had been, it had only posed a bigger problem for Avery. She wouldn’t be going back to Ontario with her heart in one piece. She’d fallen for Callum completely—the whole Callum. Not the man he’d pretended to be in Niagara Falls, not even the man who had danced with her at the community hall. But the man who’d shown her what he considered the very worst side of himself when he spoke of how his life had fallen apart, the mistakes he’d made. And still he’d been gentle with her, and patient, and best of all, giving. She hadn’t known he could be like that. Hadn’t known any man could.

  They were right for each other. Somehow she had to make him see it, too.

  She had a quick shower before getting Nell out of bed, the tot rubbing her fists in her eyes as she came awake. By the time Nell had had her breakfast bottle and Avery had started mixing eggs in a bowl, Callum was on his way in from the barn. Nerves bubbled around in Avery’s stomach as he came in, gave Nell a kiss and then stopped by the stove where she was pouring the eggs in a pan for scrambling. He gave her a light kiss, too, sending her pulse racing.

  “Morning,” he said.

  “Good morning.” She tried a smile. “You hungry?”

  “Starving.” He rubbed his tummy and she turned to find him watching her with a twinkle in his eye.

  She wanted to see that twinkle every morning. “Put some bread in the toaster, then, while I stir these.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  They worked around the kitchen for a while as Avery tried to find the right way to broach the subject. Nothing she came up with sounded right in her head.

  “So what are your plans for today?” he asked, taking jam out of the fridge and putting it on the table.

  She swallowed against the lump of nervousness in her throat. The smell of the eggs made her slightly nauseated as her appetite deserted her. “Well, probably packing our things. Our flight is scheduled for midmorning tomorrow.”

  “Right.”

  The toast popped, the noise abnormally loud in the quiet kitchen.

  The eggs were done, so Avery made a show of putting them on plates, a much smaller portion on her own since she really wasn’t feeling that hungry. They sat at the table, the silence stretching out until Avery thought it must pop like a rubber band if it got any tighter. If he would only just ask her to stay, give any indication that he wanted to be with her beyond today…

  Callum put down his fork. “Avery, we need to talk about what comes next.”

  She let out a breath of relief. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. Yes, we do.”

  She lifted her eyes. It was so hard to tell what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He’d had a lot of practice at keeping himself guarded.

  “You know I want to be a part of Nell’s life,” he said evenly. “But Nell isn’t the only one to consider here. The last few days…”

  The last few days they’d been together. Really together, in every way possible.

  He lifted his chin. “Avery, I don’t want to rush things, or put you on the spot. There are a lot of things to consider. You have your job and your apartment and a whole life back in Burlington. I just want you to keep an open mind about us. Nothing has to be decided now, right?” He smiled at her. “We can take it one day at a time. See how things go.”

  As far as a glowing declaration, it fell way short of the mark. And yet Avery knew it was the cautious, sensible approach. It was the way she’d lived her whole life up to this point. Logically. Trusting her head and not her heart. Being sure she was on solid ground before taking another step. And it wasn’t like he’d shut the door on them. He was just being careful.

  The trouble was, she didn’t want to live that way anymore.

  “One day at a time,” she echoed, without a lot of enthusiasm.

  “I mean, we have to put Nell first, of course.”

  “Of course.” He was totally right, so why did she feel so deflated? Then she wondered if perhaps she was being selfish and putting her feelings ahead of Nell’s. She’d said from the first moment they’d felt this attraction that it would be a mistake. That if something went wrong Nell would be the one to pay. Had she forgotten that so easily?

  She toyed with the corner of her piece of toast. No, she hadn’t forgotten it. But she had gotten caught up in the idea of the rightness of this place that she’d constructed this white picket fence idea of what life here could be like.

  Callum reached over and cupped her jaw in his hand. When she looked up at him, she couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes. She blinked, willing them away. The last thing she needed was to get overly emotional about the whole thing.

  “Two weeks is such a short time,” he said
softly. “I’m not giving up. I just want us to take things slowly. Be sure. For all our sakes. Okay?”

  She nodded, knew she should be happy. What had happened between them was nothing short of amazing. Instead there was a heavy weight settling in the pit of her stomach. Because she’d wanted him to say it. She’d wanted him to tell her to quit her job, set up a business here, move to Cadence Creek and live happily ever after. And if not happily ever after, at least be here while they figured out exactly what was between them.

  “I’m glad I came,” she said, picking up her fork and making a show of pushing around some eggs on her plate. “It’s been a good trip. Surprising, but good.”

  He smiled. “Surprising doesn’t begin to cover it.”

  They finished the meal and as Avery was clearing the dishes Callum looked out the window. “Mail’s here already. I’m going to run out and bring it in. I’m expecting some information I emailed a company about last week.”

  When he came back, his brows were pulled together in a frown.

  “What is it?” Avery asked.

  “The test results. Can you believe it? I’d forgotten all about them.”

  He tossed the envelope on the table and instead tore open the seal to a bigger package.

  “Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked, surprised at his easy dismissal.

  “Do I really have to?”

  Avery understood and appreciated what he was saying, but the envelope sat there, waiting to be opened like unfinished business. She picked it up and ripped across the flap, taking out the paper inside.

  The DNA results confirmed Callum as the father, and Avery closed her eyes and let out a relieved breath before handing the letter over to him.

  Callum gave the paper a quick glance but his gaze quickly darted up to her face. She closed her eyes and let out a breath while something dark and familiar twisted at his heart. “You weren’t sure?” he asked, his voice suddenly hoarse.

  “What?” Her brow wrinkled as she stared up at him.

  Callum stood very, very still. “I said,” he stated in a low voice, “you weren’t sure I was her father?”

  “Don’t be silly!” Avery straightened her shoulders. “Why would you say that?”

  Oh, playing dumb was only making it worse. That blank, innocent expression cut through him like a knife. “Because of the look of relief on your face just now. The way you closed your eyes and let out your breath. Oh, my God. You actually had your doubts.” All along she’d pretended to be so sure. She’d let him fall in love with his daughter knowing it could all be a farce. She’d let him fall in love with her…

  No. She hadn’t quite accomplished that, he told himself. He smacked the paper down on the table as his anger built. He should have known better than to fall for this again.

  “Callum, no. I swear to you, up until the moment I saw the envelope, I didn’t have a moment of doubt.”

  “And then?” he asked, his voice dangerously calm.

  She looked down. “I don’t know. I guess I needed to see it in black-and-white. I never knew anything about her feelings for Pete. What else hadn’t she told me? What if Crystal hadn’t told me the truth?”

  He didn’t believe her. He wanted to, and that was what hurt the worst. He’d ignored his gut instinct because he’d wanted to trust her so badly. Wanted to believe she wasn’t another Jane. Oh, her intentions had been good, but in the end, he was the one left hurting.

  “God, what a fool I’ve been!”

  He spun away but she went after him, grabbing his arm. “A fool? You were the one who insisted on the stupid test in the first place, and then you acted like you didn’t care about the results!”

  “Because I trusted you.” The words came through gritted teeth. “I looked at Nell and I was sure. But more than that, I trusted you. You were one hundred percent sure that Crystal had told the truth. Only you really weren’t certain, were you? You just let me believe.”

  She swallowed. “I had no reason to doubt her.”

  “But you did anyway?” he pressed.

  “No! Not at the time. Looking back now, I can see things I missed. Her decision not to tell you about being pregnant. What you said about her having a thing for Pete—we shared everything, don’t you understand? But not that. God, no wonder she hadn’t wanted to go to his memorial. She had her secrets from me, Callum, and you can’t know how that hurts.”

  “Oh, really? Secrets from the sister who waltzed in here claiming to know everything there was to know about her?”

  “Don’t be nasty,” she said firmly. “She was my sister. Even so, she was entitled to her secrets.”

  “And you thought this might be one of them. And still you came here, inserted yourself into my life, made me fall…”

  He stopped abruptly, cleared his throat while Avery held her breath.

  “Made me fall in love with Nell,” he said, gentling his voice slightly. “Worse than that, you…We…”

  “We made love. Can’t you even say it, Callum?”

  He couldn’t. Not when his heart was this involved. She was the first one since Jane. She had no idea what she’d done. Yes, Nell was really his and nothing could change that. But the damage had been done. She’d been no better than Jane when it came down to it. At least Jane had finally come clean because she couldn’t live with the deception.

  “Why did we?” he asked. “I want to know, Avery. Was it all part of your master plan? What did you expect to gain from all this? I mean, you did make the first move. You must have had some idea of what you wanted. Did it even matter to you if I was Nell’s real father or not?”

  He regretted the words the instant he said them. She looked as if she’d been whipped and the hostility radiating out of him took away all the lovely moments they’d shared and twisted them into something cold and calculated. He mourned the loss of them.

  “That’s not it at all! Please, Callum, listen to me. It was a simple reaction, nothing more. I had a moment of doubt for a second or two when I looked at the letter, but it was wrong. I knew all along in my heart that Nell is yours! I wouldn’t have come here otherwise. You have to believe me. I’m not capable of the things you’re suggesting.”

  “How do I know that?” He felt the anger drain out of him, replaced with disappointment and despair. “All I know is the Avery I’ve seen in the last two weeks. You could have been out to fool me all along. Everything I told you, about Jane, about the guys…”

  He sat down heavily. “I trusted you, Avery. And it makes me sick. You knew how badly Jane had hurt me. That alone should have ensured your honesty. You had plenty of opportunities.”

  “I’m going to say this one more time. I honestly did not have a moment of doubt until I saw that proof in black-and-white. What I can’t control is whether or not you believe me.”

  He wanted to so badly it ached. Never had he felt so vulnerable. Not even when Jane had given him back his ring, and that was surprising. A lot had happened since then. He had been so happy when Jane had announced she was pregnant, and he’d mourned the loss of the life he’d almost had. The fact that Avery had known that, and would have put him through the same thing was enough to make him start shutting down the corners of his heart that he’d opened to her.

  Unless, of course, she was telling the truth.

  “I’m not her,” Avery said quietly, squatting before him and putting her hand on his knee. “You think I came here with the intent to lure you into some trap, to what? Take care of me and Nell? I can take care of us both just fine, as I’ve been doing for several months now. Jane must have really done a number on you to make you doubt everything that comes out of my mouth. So here it is, Callum. You want to know the truth? Yes, for a space of a few seconds, I acknowledged somewhere in the back of my mind that there was a miniscule chance the results would be different. I’m human. I realize there were things I didn’t know about my sister, okay? But it was a few seconds, that was all. Anything that has happened here in the last few weeks has
been completely genuine on my part. Every single emotion—the bad and the good. Sleeping with you was no trap. Falling for you was not on the agenda. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.”

  He didn’t answer for a few seconds as her words settled around them. He looked up in her eyes, so wide and blue and earnest. This woman had more power over him than anyone ever had before. He simply didn’t have enough faith left inside him to take her at her word.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  She sighed, seemed to choose her words carefully. “You’re scared to believe me. There’s a difference. If I’m telling the truth you’re going to have to deal with the feelings between us. And it means you have to trust me, which clearly you don’t.”

  “I’ve trusted before, and look where that got me. I can’t go through that again.”

  “Right. And because one person betrayed you everyone else in the world is bound to, too, right?”

  He had to look away from her face, because she was silently crying now, tears slipping over her cheeks. He felt like crying himself. He’d finally allowed himself to hope again and one little moment had ripped it away.

  “I understand betrayal. And I understood that you will never believe, never trust, in just words. I really don’t have anything else to offer.”

  “Tell me,” he asked. “How would you have spun it if the results had been different?”

  She stepped back. He’d finally said the right thing to drive her away. Too bad he felt like crap about it.

  “I get it,” she said quietly. “Tomorrow we’ll get on a plane for home, just as we planned.”

  “That’s for the best,” he said shortly. He had to get out of here. He made his escape to the only place he knew she wouldn’t bother him—the barn. The screen door slapped in the frame behind him.

  Avery stared at Callum crossing the yard. Thought about what he’d said and what he hadn’t said. What he’d been through and how much he’d changed during her time there. And what she saw was a man who was scared to death of having his heart broken a second time. And this time with his own daughter in the mix, complicating things.