I Do--Or Do I?

by Karen King

  ‘You look a bit wistful.’

  Leah’s words brought her out of her daydream. ‘Oh, I was just thinking how much my friend Sam would love this. She wants a huge wedding when she gets married. She’d feel like a princess at this château.’

  ‘That’s what most brides are like,’ Leah replied. ‘They want to be a princess for the day. To feel beautiful, cosseted, pampered, and desired. That everyone is looking at them.’

  I don’t. I just want to know that I’m marrying someone I love; who loves me. And she was, wasn’t she? She loved Timothy and he loved her. Not a wild, raging love that made your heart quicken and pulse race, but a quieter, adult love that was secure and reliable.

  ‘Hey, look, someone’s doing a photoshoot here,’ Leah said. ‘I wonder what magazine that’s for.’

  Cassie followed her gaze over the river and saw a young woman rowing a boat. She had long, dark hair and was wearing a tiny white bikini that showed off her tanned skin. Several other women were standing on the beach, all dressed in bikinis, and a man was taking photos of them, watched by a crowd of people who shouted out now and again. She could tell by the women’s poses that Leah was right, they were models. Then the woman in the boat reached the shore and stepped out. There was something familiar about her.

  Cassie shielded her eyes and squinted, but it was no good. She couldn’t see her face clearly.

  ‘What a glamorous job, hey?’ Leah said.

  Cassie shook her head. ‘I don’t envy the models. They rise and fall on their looks. I’d hate to live like that, having to watch what I eat, making sure I look my best all the time. I couldn’t stand the strain. It’d be like getting married every day of your life!’

  Leah shot her a questioning look. ‘How far away is your wedding? You don’t strike me as a very happy bride-to-be. Most of the ones I meet can’t stop talking about their wedding, and the preparations, but you hardly mention it. And when you do it’s as if you find it a real strain.’

  Did she? She forced a smile on her face. ‘Oh, take no notice of me. Of course I’m looking forward to it. I’m just not a “dressing up and planning” sort of girl. I’m a “running away and having a beach wedding” sort.’

  ‘Then why don’t you do that?’

  ‘Because my fiancé has got quite an important job and his mother wants us to have a big society do,’ she confessed.

  ‘Oh dear, tough luck. I’ve met mother-in-laws like that.’ Leah touched her arm sympathetically. ‘Just remember that it’s your wedding as well.’

  Cassie stared at the model party. The photographer had his back to her but there was something disturbingly familiar about his stance, the way he held his camera, his thick, dark hair.

  It couldn’t be.

  Of course it wasn’t him. Jared wasn’t the only photographer in the world who had dark hair and adopted that particular stance when he was taking photographs. Besides, why would he be in France? She shook her head, she’d been thinking about him far too much she was imagining him everywhere.

  It was Jared. He walked into the dining room later that evening, his model girlfriend – the one he’d been dining with at the restaurant that night a few weeks ago – hanging off his arm. He looked devastatingly handsome in a superbly tailored black suit. His girlfriend looked stunning in a long, electric blue dress that fitted her like a corset. So Jared’s photography skills now extended to beauty shots for magazines, too. She guessed he’d do anything to fund his trip.

  She saw his eyes rest on her for a moment and hold her gaze, then he nodded and turned away, guiding his girlfriend by the elbow to an intimate table in the corner.

  ‘You know that hunk?’ Leah asked.

  Nothing missed her sharp eyes. ‘Yes, I’ve met him a couple of times.’ When did her life get so complicated? She hadn’t told Leah she was planning her wedding so now she couldn’t tell her Jared was photographing it. And all because of that perishing ‘Almost a Bride’ column. She wished Owen had never asked her to write it.

  Well, if she hadn’t she wouldn’t be here would she? And she wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

  ‘He can’t take his eyes off you,’ Leah said as they tucked in to their main course.

  ‘Who?’ Cassie looked up, startled.

  ‘That photographer. He’s been staring at you all evening. If I was his girlfriend I’d have chucked my glass of wine over his face by now.’

  Cassie chuckled as a sudden memory flooded into her mind. It was Jared’s birthday and she’d spent most of the day cooking a special meal for them both. She desperately wanted everything to be right. She’d lit candles, plumped up the cushions, laid the table and was carrying the meal – steak and stilton with French fries and petit pois, over to the table when she’d tripped and the whole lot had landed in Jared’s lap instead. She’d burst into tears and he’d burst out laughing. He’d dried her tears, helped her clear up, then they’d shared her meal and a huge bag of popcorn as they’d watched a DVD together. Jared had been so easy-going then. She wondered if he was still as easy-going today.

  Leah was staring at her curiously, so she quickly explained. ‘Sorry, your comment reminded me of a time when I did chuck a meal over a boyfriend – by accident, of course.’ She briefly related what had happened without mentioning that Jared was the boyfriend in question. Soon everyone else on the table joined in with anecdotes of dining disasters and Leah’s attention was turned away from Jared, thank goodness.

  Jared was stunned when he saw that Cassie was here. It was the last place he expected to see her. He wouldn’t have thought that a small local paper would have the funds to pay for a trip to France. Unless the hotel had paid, of course. Perhaps she’d joined a press trip.

  She looked drop dead gorgeous, as usual, and perfectly at ease, chatting and laughing to the crowd seated around her table. He tried not to stare at her but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were drawn to her like nails to a magnet and he had to keep forcing himself to look away. He could see that Savannah was getting annoyed. She didn’t expect commitment from him, but she did expect his exclusive attention when he was with her. Beautiful models like Savannah didn’t take kindly to being ignored.

  ‘What is it with you and that woman?’ she snapped, managing to make the word ‘woman’ sound derogatory. ‘And what’s she doing here?’

  ‘She’s a journalist so I’m guessing she’s on a press trip.’ He forced his gaze away from Cassie and rested it on Savannah. ‘Sorry, babe. I was just surprised to see her.’

  ‘She seems to pop up wherever we go,’ Savannah said sullenly. ‘I know you’re photographing her wedding but you don’t have to be friendly to her. She’s just a client.’

  ‘I know, but her husband-to-be is a very influential client and Daniel and Imogen want me to keep him happy. They’re hoping he’ll recommend us to his illustrious and very rich friends. I’ll have to pop over and say hello to her in a few minutes, it’s only polite. Come with me, I’ll introduce you.’

  ‘No thanks.’ She pushed back her chair and grabbed her bag hanging on the back of it. ‘I’m going to the little girls’ room so if you must talk to her, do it now then you can give me your undivided attention when I come back.’

  ‘Sure.’ He went to get up but Cassie had disappeared, as had most of the crowd she’d been seated with. He’d catch up with her later, he decided.

  When Savannah came back she looked even more sullen. ‘Your client was in the loos, too,’ she said. ‘Giggling like a schoolgirl with a bunch of other women.’ She pouted. ‘I guess that means you didn’t get a chance to speak to her, so are going to carry on staring at her all evening.’

  Jared shook his head. ‘Of course not. Now tell me what we’ll be doing for tomorrow’s shoot.’ He deliberately sat with his back to Cassie’s table so that when she and her friends returned he couldn’t stare at her, but his senses were on alert all through the meal, listening for her voice, her laughter.

  Cassie’s entire body was aware of Jared’
s presence. It took all her willpower to ignore him and concentrate on talking to the people around her. She couldn’t believe he was staying in the same hotel, but she wasn’t going to let him spoil this trip for her. If she bumped into him she’d say be polite, and say hello, but she definitely wasn’t going out of her way to talk to him. Judging by the daggers the woman he was with kept giving Cassie, she wasn’t very pleased to see her either.

  Don’t worry, love, he’s all yours, Cassie thought, turning away to talk to Ben, a journalist from Travel the World magazine. He was travelling around France for a week for a ‘See France in a Week’ article for the magazine, and was only stopping in the Dordogne for a day.

  ‘Have you written any other similar features?’ Cassie asked him.

  ‘Sure, I’ve done a week in Spain, a week in Italy, a week in Greece, and a week in Portugal. It’s a regular feature the editor’s running for a while. It’s very popular and we get a lot of reader feedback.’

  ‘It sounds fascinating. I’d love to write features like that. I wonder if I can persuade Owen, my editor, to let me do a few features on weddings abroad. Weddings in Spain, weddings in Greece …’ She picked up her glass and took a sip of wine. ‘Especially if I’m wined and dined like this. I feel very spoilt.’

  ‘Which magazine do you work for?’ Ben asked.

  ‘Oh, just the local newspaper – we’re doing a special wedding feature this month, that is why I’m here. It’s not something Owen normally does, so I doubt if I’ll get him to agree to other trips, much as I’d enjoy it.’

  ‘If not, I’m sure plenty of other magazines would pick up the idea,’ Ben told her. He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed her his card. ‘If you’re ever looking for a job, email me. I’ve a few contacts, I might be able to help.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Cassie took the card and slipped it into her handbag. If she did decide to freelance after the wedding she might take Ben up on his kind offer.

  Out of the corner of her eye she was aware that Jared had glanced over at her. She would have to speak to him at some point – it would be rude not to. Not now though, with everyone around. She wanted to get him on his own and ask him not to mention that her wedding was only a few weeks away. If Leah found out she might read her column, and realise that Cassie was writing about her own life. She couldn’t risk that.

  After dinner, there was entertainment in the lounge, as an example of the sort of things included in the wedding package. Cassie, Leah, and several other members of their table drifted in and sat down, listening to the music for a while. Before long, a few people got up to dance, including Jared and Savannah; she immediately steered Jared to the middle of the dance floor, and started to dance seductively, obviously hoping people would be watching her. Jared looked slightly embarrassed, Cassie noticed. She tore her gaze away from them and turned to Leah.

  ‘Something tells me that one likes to be the centre of attention,’ Leah said with a grin. ‘She’s gorgeous though, and the way she moves her body … Just look at the guys drooling over her.’

  She was right, Ben and the other men were staring at Savannah transfixed.

  ‘The group’s brill. Are you brave enough to get up and dance? We can hide away in the corner so we don’t have to try and compete with Miss Universe.’

  ‘Sure.’ It had been ages since she’d let her hair down and had a dance. She followed Leah onto the dance floor and they were soon jigging away to a jazz number. Some of the other journalists joined them, including Ben, who entertained them by performing a spectacular breakdance. They all clapped and cheered him on. He grinned sheepishly when he’d finished.

  ‘How did you learn to dance like that?’ Cassie asked him.

  ‘A remnant of my misspent youth,’ he said with a grin.

  Then the music changed. It took her just two heartbeats to recognise the song. Sunshine Girl. Their song. Hers and Jared’s.

  She couldn’t dance to this. Cassie turned to make her way back to the table when she felt a hand on her arm. A hand that sent a familiar sizzling tingle all the way up it, right to the hairs on the back of her neck.

  ‘Fancy a dance?’

  Before she could reply she was enclosed in his arms, swaying to the music. As his arms tightened around her she couldn’t resist the temptation to nestle into them and the years seemed to fade away. All that mattered was her and Jared in each other’s arms. She was dimly aware that the music had changed, another song was playing, but still they were in each other’s arms, swaying slowly, enclosed in their own private bubble, and she had to admit that she didn’t want it to end. She wanted to stay in Jared’s arms forever.

  ‘Excuse me, but I’d like to dance with my man.’

  A hand grabbed her arm and pulled it off Jared’s shoulder, jerking her out of her daydream, and Jared’s model girlfriend forced herself between them. It was as if she’d been doused with cold water. What the hell was she thinking, cosying up to him like that? Cassie immediately stepped back from Jared, feeling her cheeks burn. Everyone must be staring at them. She wanted to turn and run, lock herself in her room and stay there until Jared had gone, but she forced herself to pull herself together and meet Savannah’s angry gaze. They were only dancing, after all.

  But way too close.

  ‘Of course. Be my guest,’ she said coolly and turned away.

  ‘Take it easy, Savannah. I told you, Cassie and I are old friends. I’m photographing her wedding,’ she heard Jared say as she stumbled across the dance floor to the French doors.

  She couldn’t face Leah and the others at the table yet. She had to get some fresh air, bring herself back to her senses and cool her burning cheeks. She stepped through the open doors and into the cool evening air. It was a beautiful night; the inky dark sky was splattered with tiny twinkling stars, and a slight breeze blew through the colourful flowerbeds around the immaculate lawn. She crossed her arms, hugging herself, and walked slowly over to the fountain, her mind in turmoil. How could she still respond to Jared like that? She’d thought she was over him, that her feelings for him were dead and buried, yet here she was practically snogging him in public. She gave an involuntary shiver.

  ‘I guess I should apologise.’

  She spun around at the sound of Jared’s voice behind her. He looked incredibly sexy with his sleeves rolled up and pale blue shirt open at the neck. ‘What are you playing at?’ she asked furiously, lashing out at him, but in truth she was angry with herself more. How could she act like that when she was getting married in two weeks?

  ‘I’m sorry. It’s just, well, that was our song and I couldn’t help myself. Before I knew what I was doing I was walking over to you, dancing with you.’

  ‘What the hell are you doing here, anyway?’ she demanded. ‘Everywhere I turn you’re there. It’s like you’re stalking me.’

  ‘Savannah’s modelling agency needed another photographer, so she asked me to come along. I wasn’t doing anything else and the money’s good.’ He shrugged. ‘How was I supposed to know you’d be here? What are you doing here?’

  ‘I’m on a press trip, covering wedding venues.’

  ‘Another one for your column?’

  She had to get away from him, he was standing too close. She could feel his breath on her face, smell his heady male scent, and her hands were aching to reach out and touch him. She stepped back, anxious to put some distance between them.

  ‘Look, I’m going home tomorrow. Let’s keep away from each other until then. Your girlfriend is already furious with you and I don’t want anything getting back to Timothy.’

  ‘She isn’t my girlfriend. Not really. We hang about together when we’re both in the same location, but it’s nothing serious.’

  ‘Well, Timothy is my fiancé and …’

  ‘And you don’t love him.’ Jared reached out and gently touched her cheek with the back of his fingers. ‘Admit it. He doesn’t make you feel like I did. Like I still do.’

  The arrogance of him! ‘I have no
feelings for you at all,’ she retorted. ‘Of course I love Timothy …’

  ‘No, you don’t.’ His hand was entwined around her neck and somehow he was kissing her and she was kissing him back. Hot, passionate kisses that made her whole body shudder. He moaned and pulled her closer and she leant into him, pressing her body against his, her lips eagerly responding to his kiss, opening of their own accord to allow his tongue access.

  ‘See, you still love me. Like I love you. I’m sorry, Cassie, for hurting you like that. I should never have walked out on you. I’ve regretted it every single day since.’

  He loved her.

  She pulled back from him, her eyes searching his face in disbelief, but she could see that he was telling the truth, recognised the emotion in his eyes.

  He loved her.

  And she loved him. What the hell was she going to do?

  ‘How can you say that to me now?’ Her voice was shaking. She sank down onto the low wall around the fountain, not trusting her legs to hold her. ‘You know I’m getting married to Timothy in two weeks’ time. What are you trying to do?’

  He sat down beside her, took her hand in his. ‘Trying to stop you making the mistake of your life. Admit it, Cassie. You don’t love Timothy. If you marry him you’ll regret it. He’ll never make you feel like I do. He’ll never love you like I do.’

  She had to get away from him before she threw herself in his arms and told him she loved him, too. Before she gave him chance to destroy her life and hurt her all over again. He was just playing with her, she was sure of it. He wanted her because she was marrying someone else.

  ‘You had your chance,’ she yelled at him. ‘You dumped me. I’ve moved on and I’m not going to let you wreck my life again.’ She couldn’t meet his gaze; let him see how her heart was breaking. ‘Stay away from me. I don’t ever want to see you again.’

  Twenty-seven

  Jared sat back down on the low wall around the fountain, gathering his thoughts. Cassie was still in love with him, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her kiss. And he was definitely still in love with her. He’d been trying to fight it ever since the day she’d walked into his office with Sylvia Campbell. What should he do? She was getting married in two weeks, should he stay away from her? Let her have a chance of happiness? After all, he’d already messed up her life once.