I Do--Or Do I?

by Karen King

  He wrapped his arm around her neck, gently pulled her to him and their lips met, softly caressing at first, then exploring deeper and deeper until it felt that they were one and the same, their bodies melting into each other, and she knew that he did love her and that she loved him. They belonged together. Always had. Always will.

  ‘I’m so sorry for being so selfish all those years ago,’ he said, pulling away from her and gently pulling her down onto the sofa behind them. ‘I wish I could go back and put it right, but I can’t.’ He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you. Truly I am. Do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance?’

  Of course she could. The past didn’t matter, they had been so young. Too young. If he’d given up his career and they’d got married then it might not have worked out. Jared might have resented her, wished he’d followed his dream. Their love would have been destroyed beyond repair and that would have been a tragedy.

  ‘I won’t go away again,’ Jared murmured, slipping both hands around her waist and pulling her closer. ‘Isobel and Daniel have offered me a permanent position in the company.’

  He was actually planning on giving up travelling, on being a celebrity photographer so they could be together.

  ‘Have you accepted the offer?’ she asked, nuzzling into his neck.

  ‘Not yet. They want my answer by Friday.’

  So if she turned him down he wouldn’t accept it; he’d carry on being a wildlife photographer. She could hardly believe he’d give up his dream for her. It was what she wanted seven years ago, but not any longer. Now she realised that you shouldn’t give up your dream for anyone. That it didn’t have to be one or the other. If you loved someone, you’d compromise and make things work somehow.

  ‘Then tell them thank you but no thank you,’ she said, kissing him on the tip of his nose.

  She saw the flash of pain in his eyes. ‘You mean …’ He pulled away. ‘It’s too late for us, isn’t it? I should never have assumed we could start afresh. It was too long ago …’

  She wound her arms around his neck. ‘It’s not too late at all. I love you and I want us to be together. But you don’t have to sacrifice anything. All I need to know is that you’ll come back to me.’

  His face lit up as he bent down to kiss her. ‘Oh, Cassie.’

  They were so engrossed in their embrace, in their love for each other that they didn’t hear the door open. It was Cassie who heard the cough first. She pulled herself away from Jared and turned to see Owen standing in the doorway.

  ‘I take it this is the photographer,’ he said.

  ‘Yes.’ She hoped her face wasn’t as red as it felt. ‘Jared and I, we’re …’

  He nodded. ‘Yes, I can see that you’ve made up. Nice one.’

  ‘Sorry, I’ll be up in just a minute. Did you need me for something?’

  ‘Oh, I was just going to remind you that I need your piece on Venice for two this afternoon. But I can see you’re busy.’ He held out his hand to Jared. ‘Pleased to meet you, mate. You saved my paper.’ He looked at Cassie. ‘Five minutes.’ Then he was gone.

  ‘So will you meet me after work for a drink?’ Jared asked. ‘We can talk about things properly.’

  She nodded. ‘I finish at five. Where shall we meet?’

  ‘Pass me your phone and I’ll give you my number.’

  Cassie took her mobile out of her bag and handed it to him. Jared keyed in some numbers and handed it back to her. She immediately rang it so he had her number too.

  ‘I tell you what, let’s make it a proper date and have dinner,’ Jared suggested. ‘How about The Oriental, at 8 p.m.?’

  She smiled. He remembered that she liked Chinese food. Timothy had always preferred Italian so they always went to Italian restaurants.

  ‘Sounds lovely. I’ll catch a cab there.’

  Thirty-six

  Jared arrived at the restaurant early. He’d pre-booked the table, a secluded booth where they could talk uninterrupted, but waited for Cassie at the bar. She arrived a few minutes later, looking enchanting in a rainbow silk dress with a tiny silver belt, the skirt slashed up into points that started above her knee and finished at mid-calf, revealing a tantalising flash of legs as she walked. She wore her hair loose and matched the dress with silver sandals and a silver clutch bag. Her face looked alive, her eyes shining. She exuded happiness.

  She looked how he felt. He could hardly believe that they’d found each other again, that he had a second chance of happiness. This time he would treasure their love, nourish it, make sure she knew that she meant everything to him.

  He saw her look around, then her eyes lit up as they rested on him, and she walked over to the bar, smiling broadly.

  ‘You look gorgeous.’ He stood up, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her on the cheek – although he would have preferred to kiss her on the lips for a long, long time then take her to bed. Take it easy, slow down.

  ‘What would you like to drink?’ he asked.

  ‘Rosé, please.’

  ‘Would you like a drink at the bar or to go straight to our table?’ he asked.

  ‘Let’s go to the table. I’m starving.’

  He smiled again, reached out for her hand, and felt her fingers wrap around his. ‘Me too.’

  They walked together, hand in hand, then he pulled out her chair for her, kissed her on the cheek, and sat down on the other side of the table. He reached out and took her hand, and covered it in feather-light kisses that made her shiver with anticipation.

  ‘I love you, Cassie,’ he murmured.

  ‘I love you too,’ she replied softly.

  It was like old times, but better. They talked and laughed all evening, finishing each other’s sentences, sharing anecdotes, and all the time he wanted to lean over the table and kiss her, caress her, make love to her. Did she want that too? There was only one way to find out.

  ‘Fancy coming back to my place for a nightcap?’ he asked softly. He held his breath as he waited for her reply. Was he rushing things?

  It seemed an eternity before she nodded. ‘That sounds lovely.’

  ‘Coffee or more wine?’ Jared asked as they stepped into his apartment.

  Cassie looked around. It was very light and spacious, tastefully furnished with black and smoked glass units, a black leather sofa and armchair, and laminated floor. Very masculine. Jared’s camera and a bulging folder lay on the smoked glass coffee table. ‘Nice,’ she nodded.

  ‘I’ve got it on a six months’ lease,’ he told her. ‘I always rent furnished as I’m never at a place long enough to choose my own furniture, and it would be too much hassle to keep selling it or putting it into storage.’

  She nodded. ‘No strings, no roots.’

  ‘That’s how it used to be. That’ll change now.’ His eyes met hers and she swallowed at the love they held. ‘What would you like to drink? More wine, something stronger, or coffee?’

  ‘Coffee please. Milky with one sugar.’

  ‘I remember.’

  Cassie slipped off her sandals and sat down on the sofa, curling her legs under her. It felt so good to be back with Jared again, as if she’d come home. They’d always slotted together with no awkwardness. Like two sides of the one coin, her mum used to say. And it still felt like that, despite the years in between.

  He carefully carried the coffees over and she grabbed two place mats from the rack of six on the cabinet, placing them in front of them both as he put the mugs on the table.

  ‘Thanks, no point making myself extra cleaning up.’ He sat down on the sofa next to her, just fractions away. So close that she could hear him breathing, that if she moved her leg slightly it would touch his. Suddenly she felt awkward and unsure but then his arm snaked around her shoulder and pulled her to him and she was lost in the sweetness of his kiss.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m here with you, that you’ve given me a second chance,’ he murmured when they both came u
p for air. ‘I’m so sorry how I treated you all those years ago. I was selfish, stupid …’

  She put her hand over his lips to silence them. ‘No, you were young. You had a dream and you were right to go for it.’ His eyes widened in surprise as she continued, ‘I was hurt, yes. Heartbroken,’ she admitted ruefully, ‘but I can see now that what you did was right for both of us. ‘Look at what you’ve achieved. You’re an incredibly talented photographer. If we’d have remained together, got married, had a family, you would have had to settle for a mundane job just to bring money in. You’d never have had chance to develop that talent, to do what you really wanted to do.’

  He gently removed her hand from his mouth and kissed it. Then kissed the tip of her nose. ‘I hurt you so terribly, I regret that.’ Then he frowned. ‘You said it was the best thing for both of us.’

  She nodded. ‘It was, I can see that now. We were too young to settle down. I’ve had a good life despite my broken heart.’ She gave him a mock-grimace. ‘I enjoy my job on the paper. And I love writing the travel columns. I’ve discovered what I really like doing and I sort of understand why you couldn’t give up your dream for me. You shouldn’t give up your dream for anyone. That’s why I don’t want you to take this partnership with Imogen and Daniel – unless it’s what you really want.’

  ‘You mean you’re OK with me going away for weeks on end to work on my next project?’ He looked confused.

  ‘I’m not saying I won’t miss you. Or that I wouldn’t prefer you to stay,’ she admitted. ‘But it’s what you are, Jared. It’s part of why I love you and I don’t want you to lose yourself, your dreams, and aspirations because you’re with me.’

  She saw his face soften, his eyes darken with desire. ‘You’re amazing,’ he said. Then his lips found hers, kissing her deeper, urgently. She responded with the same flaming passion, her arms winding around his neck. She wasn’t sure whether he was pushing her or she was pulling him down but she was lying down on the sofa with Jared on top of her, trailing hot kisses down her neck, her throat, her shoulders, his fingers slipping down the straps of her top. She reached a hand and stilled him for a moment. He looked up questioningly.

  ‘Besides,’ she said. ‘I might be away myself sometimes writing my travel articles. So it could be you home alone. How do you feel about that?’

  His eyes met hers, soft, tender, full of love. ‘Wherever we are, we’ll have our love to sustain us.’ He leant up on his elbow, his expression suddenly serious, and tenderly traced the outline of her lips. ‘I promise you I’ll always keep in touch with you, that even if I’m not with you you’ll always know how much I love you. And that I’ll always come back to you. Always.’

  She gulped, the sincerity and love in his voice bringing a lump to her throat. ‘I promise the same.’

  His gaze held hers and she could feel the love shining out from it. ‘Then that’s all that matters.’

  He groaned as she pulled him down to her. ‘Oh, Cassie, I’m never going to let you go again. I’m going to show you just how much you mean to me.’

  ‘Now that,’ she said, slipping her hands under his T-shirt and running them over his smooth, lithe body, ‘sounds a very good idea.’

  For more information about Karen King

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  Published by Accent Press Ltd 2016

  ISBN 9781682994214

  Copyright © Karen King 2016

  The right of Karen King to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  The story contained within this book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publishers: Accent Press Ltd, Ty Cynon House, Navigation Park, Abercynon, CF45 4SN