Hell and Damnation [Werewolves and Wizards of West End 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Jane Jamison

  “Rogan had to go…” Travis’s explanation traveled off. “You know.”

  “To the bathroom again?”

  “Yeah.” Martin stared at the cabin, obviously looking for Rogan. “Let’s hope he made it.”

  Eew. “Is he having a different kind of a problem? Maybe both?” She didn’t want to get too graphic.

  Travis and Martin gave each other a look. Martin grew grave, but Travis burst out laughing. “No. Not that kind of problem.”

  “Then what kind?” What could be so bad that he could be kissing her one moment then running off in the next?

  “We told you. He doesn’t like water.” Martin shrugged. “He gets seasick.”

  Something didn’t ring true. Even with Travis laughing, they seemed far too worried over a bout of seasickness. “Are you sure there’s not something else going on?”

  “No. He just can’t handle the rocking of the boat.” Yet Martin didn’t sound convincing.

  “I’ll go see if I can help him out.” Travis whirled around and was inside the cabin in a flash.

  “Are you sure Rogan’s going to be all right?”

  “Sure. Like we said, it’s only seasickness.”

  “Uh-huh.” She pulled Martin down to sit next to her. “Are you sure everyone’s okay with my coming out to the ranch?”

  “Sure we are.” He frowned. “Where are these questions coming from?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe my insecurity.” As much as she tried to act as confident as any woman, every so often her past would jump up and knock her for a loop.

  It can’t be. Not again. Besides, I’ve seen how Rogan looks at me. Like he could eat me alive.

  “I still don’t get it.”

  “Maybe I can explain it this way. When I was a teenager, I was butt ugly.”

  Martin leaned back, surprised and unconvinced. “No you weren’t. You were never ugly.”

  “Oh, yes, I was. I was fat with zits all over my face, arms, and neck. I had really crooked teeth and fine hair I couldn’t do anything with. I was a mess and a half. Trust me, I made a witch look good.”

  “Witches are just like everyone else. There are pretty ones and there are not so pretty ones.”

  “What?” Why was he talking as though witches actually existed?

  “Uh, I mean, like the Wicked Witch and the pretty witch in The Wizard of Oz.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Okay. But, believe me, when I say I would’ve made the Wicked Witch look like Miss America.”

  “I still don’t buy it. You were you, right? Inside you were the same beautiful person, so you must’ve been beautiful because of that.”

  She gaped at him. “Wow. Where were you when I was in seventh grade?”

  “Right here on this island. But I still don’t understand what you’re getting at.” He glanced toward the cabin. “I should check on the both of them, but you finish first.”

  “Anyway, this boy told me he wanted to kiss me. I found out later that he’d lost a bet.”

  “Shit. That stinks.”

  He was so thoughtful, so caring that she didn’t feel any of the usual pain flaring up as she told the story. “Anyway, he kissed me and then suddenly pulled away and threw up.” She felt stupid for telling the story, but the past had never really died. “I just want to make sure that Rogan isn’t trying to like me because you and Travis do.”

  “Lilli, you are out of your mind.”

  “What?” She blinked at him.

  “First of all, you’re not fat. You don’t have any zits or glasses and your hair is beautiful. You’re hotter than hell.”

  Warmth spread up her cheeks.

  “Secondly, even if you were still all those things, we’d still want you. We care about you, not the package you come in.”

  She was at a loss for words. “Really? So looks don’t matter to you?” She shot him a “yeah, right” look.

  “Hey, I’m not going to say that how you look doesn’t make us happy. It does. You turn us on like no one ever has. But our attraction isn’t based on looks alone.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. And trust me. Rogan wants you as much as we do.” He took her under the chin. “He gets seasick. Nothing more.” He laughed then touched her lips with his, giving her a soft kiss. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

  Relief flooded her. She’d known they were attracted to her, but she’d had to ask. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called crazy.”

  “Crazy in bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  She laughed, relieved. “I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself.”

  A scream from the cabin startled her. Martin was on his feet the next second. “Stay where you are.”

  Before she could ask why, he’d already jumped into the cabin.

  Chapter Five

  Rogan was in serious trouble. Shifting without wanting to was bad enough. But shifting inside a small boat bathroom was hell. He was a large man and a bulky wolf. Standing on his hind legs, he growled at his reflection in the tiny mirror. His wolf was frightened and angry without a way to get out of the small space. Every move had him banging his body against the walls. Every move brought about more growls. Yet he had to struggle, his human mind fighting to maintain some control, to keep from howling.

  Frustrated, he tore the mirror off the wall and heard it hit the floor. Thankfully, it wasn’t made of glass. The toilet paper holder broke in half, dropping the roll.

  His wolf growled again. The world around him was an amber-filled cage, one he couldn’t escape. No window made him feel even more trapped. Only one thought resonated again and again.

  Out.

  Out.

  Out.

  A whine came as his wolf realized he was stuck, barely able to move, its breath coming out in hard pants.

  Out.

  Out.

  Closing his eyes, he searched for the human part of him.

  Sounds of screaming and shouts came from beyond the door. Sounds of humans. But there was one sound that called to him, reaching into him for the man called Rogan.

  “Rogan, hang in there, man. I’m here.”

  He recognized Travis’s voice. He was a friend of both the human and the wolf.

  “Everyone, it’s okay. My friend’s having a small problem, that’s all. There’s no need to be concerned.”

  Travis again.

  His friend was right. Even if he managed to get free of his cage, he wouldn’t hurt anyone. It wasn’t in his nature unless he was physically threatened.

  Another voice came, one he didn’t know.

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  “Captain, I promise you I can handle the situation.”

  Rogan whined, wanting to see his friend. Travis would help him. He’d promised to help him.

  “Is there a dog in there? No animals are allowed on this boat.”

  “It’s not a dog. I promise you, Captain. It’s my friend.”

  The captain, a born-and-bred resident of the island, had to know there wasn’t any dog in the bathroom. In fact, he probably recognized the growls of a werewolf, but he didn’t say anything.

  Rogan’s ears pricked forward as he listened intently. Everything depended on what the captain would do.

  “Is he mentally unstable?” he whispered. “Or something else?”

  More voices erupted then, frightened.

  “No, no. He’s having a tough time is all,” answered Travis. “Come on. Give us a break and get these people back.”

  Rogan bit back another whine and slumped against the wall, still standing on his hind legs. The space wasn’t large enough for him to get down on all fours.

  “Please, Captain, get everyone back outside. I swear I’ll get him out of there.”

  “You’d better.” The man’s voice grew louder. “Everyone, please get away from the bathroom. We were on our way back to the marina, anyway, so take a seat elsewhere and stay calm.”

  The excited voices didn’t seem to calm down, but at lea
st they grew softer as the people moved away. Rogan kicked out again, denting the wall.

  “Rogan, it’s all right. You can do this. You know you can. Just listen to my voice and take it easy.”

  He tried to do as Travis said, but every breath was hard. The wolf wanted to stay in control, wanted to live only as a wolf. The man inside fought back, determined to save his own way of life.

  Down, he ordered the wolf.

  A growl escaped his lips.

  Down, he commanded.

  Rogan could feel the wolf’s hold slipping. He pressed harder.

  Down!

  A snarl lifted his lips as the wolf fought to stay.

  You must back down! Now!

  At last, as fast as the shift had come on him, it came again. Fur receded, replaced by skin and clothes. Colors filled the world, ridding his vision of amber. Bones broke, a more painful process because of the cramped interior. But, at last, he stood, once more a man.

  “Rogan, are you okay? Can you open the door?”

  Shaking, Rogan swallowed then rolled his neck, getting the tension out. His answer came out in a rough croak. “Hang on. Give me a minute.”

  He felt the boat slow and knew it was pulling into its place at the dock. Weak from the internal struggle, he undid the latch and opened the door.

  “Did anyone see me?” He gripped the sides of the door, needing the support.

  Travis helped him step into the narrow hall. “I don’t think so. My guess is if anyone had seen you, we would’ve already heard about it.”

  “Then what was the screaming about?” He was sure he’d heard at least one woman scream the moment he’d rushed into the bathroom. “The shift started while I was kissing Lilli, for fuck’s sake. Someone had to have seen the fur. I tried pulling my shirt up to cover my jaw, but that probably showed the fur spreading along my stomach.”

  “No, man, the lady that screamed was pointing at something in the galley. Probably a mouse.”

  Rogan dragged in another breath. “Shit. I never thought I’d want to kiss a mouse on the mouth, but right now, I do.”

  “Don’t relax too fast. The way you tore into the cabin after kissing Lilli has her thinking stupid thoughts.”

  Rogan turned along with Travis to see Martin at the end of the short hallway. “What are you talking about? She didn’t see anything, did she? Once I felt the shift starting, I got the hell away from her.”

  “I’ll explain why later, but she was convinced he found her disgusting.” He made a gesture indicating someone throwing up. “So repulsive, in fact, that you had to hurl.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I told you it was stupid.” Martin glanced over his shoulder. “We’re at the dock. We told her it was seasickness. Now you have to convince her that it was.”

  “I’ve never gotten seasick in my life.”

  “Does it matter? You did today. That’s all you have to remember.”

  “Right. Seasick. Got it.” Needing fresh air and to see Lilli, he pushed past Martin to head up the stairs leading to the outside. The other excursion guests were already getting off the boat. Lilli stood off to the side. Yet even her worried expression couldn’t mar her beauty.

  How can anyone so pretty think I’d find her repulsive?

  Women had always been a mystery to him, and they always would be. “Hi.”

  She pivoted toward him. “Hi.” She ran her gaze over him then jumped her attention to Travis and Martin before coming back to him. “Are you all right?”

  Did he look like he’d been seasick? Maybe. After all, it hadn’t been fun and games in the bathroom. “Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.” He waited as the captain and his helper passed them on their way to the captain’s cabin. “I guess I don’t have sea legs.”

  “I guess not. Strange, though, when you consider that you live on an island.”

  Her sparkling blue eyes held a hint of humor, making him feel better. The last thing he wanted to do was to worry her. “Good thing I’m a rancher and not a fisherman. Or a captain of a whale watching excursion boat.”

  She laughed, the light sound of it floating on the air. “Yeah. Good thing.”

  “So? Are we ready to head to the ranch?” asked Martin.

  “You bet.” She clasped her hands together, her big smile filled with eagerness.

  Shit. Rogan wanted her at the ranch and in bed as much as his friends did. But he couldn’t risk it. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”

  “Oh.” Worry subdued the dance of excitement in her eyes. “Why not? I mean it’s okay if you’re not interested, but Martin was saying you guys wanted me to come back out.”

  “It’s not what you were thinking before.” Rogan hated like hell to turn her down, but he’d already made one mistake today. He wouldn’t make another. “I’m not feeling up to it right now.” He glanced away, hating himself and feeling the hard stares from his friends. “I guess the upchucking took more out of me than I thought.”

  No one spoke for a moment. Not even Travis or Martin, who were, no doubt, holding back their disappointment.

  “Look, Lilli, I really want you to come. It’s just that—”

  “No, no. It’s okay. I understand completely.”

  She touched his arm, sending off a flurry of craving that awakened his wolf’s desire to claim her. He closed his eyes as his wolf threatened to take over.

  “I hate like hell to admit it, but we need to do some work tonight,” added Travis. “Work that’s time sensitive.”

  Silently, he thanked Travis for understanding and helping him out. “Very time sensitive.”

  “Maybe I can visit another day.” The disappointment in her tone was raw. “Before I leave, that is.”

  “Definitely.” Martin gave Rogan a worried glance before hooking his arm in hers. “Tell you what. Let’s exchange numbers before I forget again, and I’ll call you as soon as this guy’s sensitive tummy is back to normal.”

  Lilli glanced over her shoulder at Rogan and Travis as Martin helped her down the ladder and onto the dock. “Sure. Anytime. Is that okay with you, Rogan?”

  Fuck. She knows it’s my fault. She must think I’m a real shithead.

  “More than okay.” He smiled, hoping she wouldn’t hold today against him.

  “Okay, then, here’s my digits.” Martin started walking with her, taking her phone to enter his contact information as he led her away from the boat.

  “Well, this blows,” muttered Travis.

  Rogan’s wolf, angry at losing a chance with its mate, took over, a growl escaping him. “Damn it, man. I know I fucked up. Don’t go rubbing it in. What else was I supposed to do? Let her come back to the ranch so I can give her a personal wolf show? Hell, I’ve already shifted twice when she was around.”

  “I get it. Don’t go off on me, man. You were right to call her visit off.” Travis jumped off the boat. “You’re feeling it again, aren’t you? Fucking don’t shift again now.”

  Rogan closed his eyes, once again fighting for domination. “I’m doing the best I can, but I need to get back to the ranch pronto. If not, everyone’s going to get an eyeful of a wolf charging down Main Street.”

  “It wouldn’t be like it was the first time tourists have seen a shifter.”

  Rogan matched Travis’s pace and passed it. “No, but I’m not in the mood to tell some bullshit story to explain it.”

  Well ahead of them, Martin and Lilli turned the corner to head toward her hotel. Rogan, both as a man and a wolf, ached to race after her.

  “Let’s go. It’s better we use this time to try the spell.”

  “You’ve got it ready?” He hated to let even the slimmest amount of hope in, but he couldn’t help it.

  “I will by this evening.” Travis clapped Rogan on the back. “Hang in there. One of these spells is going to work.”

  “Yeah? How do you know? How can you know what might work when we don’t even know why this is happening?”

  Travis grinned as he
hurried ahead then walked backward as he talked. “Shit, man. Haven’t you heard? I’m the greatest wizard the world has ever seen.”

  Rogan couldn’t help but chuckle. If he was destined to spend the rest of his life as a wolf, he’d still have the best friends any man—or wolf—could ever have. “You’d better be.”

  “I am. Besides, even if I fail, you’ll still have a place in our kitchen.” Travis faced forward, speaking louder as he stayed a few feet ahead of Rogan. “I’ll promise to feed you the best dog food I can buy.”

  “Fuck that, man. You’ll feed me Grade-A prime rib every night, or I’ll bite you and make you my bitch.”

  * * * *

  Lilli flopped on top of her bed. She’d been so excited when Martin had asked her to go back to the ranch with them. But then Rogan had gotten seasick.

  She frowned at the ceiling, staring at it as though the answer lay in the pristine whiteness. Had he really gotten seasick? Or had that only been an excuse? She let the past creep in again but pushed it away.

  No, I know they’re interested. I saw it in their eyes. I felt it in their touches. But if that’s true, then why am I in my hotel room, all alone, and not with them?

  Closing her eyes, she remembered how good they’d felt on the boat. They were so masculine, so protective, so fucking sexy. The other women had glanced their way often, their jealousy showing in their eyes. Perhaps it wasn’t the nicest way to have reacted, but she’d enjoyed being the focus of envy. Had, in fact, enjoyed being surrounded by three hot-as-sin men who had paid more attention to her than any of the whales.

  “Then what am I doing here?” She should’ve offered to help Rogan regain his strength. Besides, how long did it take a full-grown man, especially one as obviously as strong as Rogan, to get over a bout of seasickness?

  “They’re making excuses. But why invite me out to the ranch in the first place if you don’t want me there?” she asked the ceiling.

  The answer, however, didn’t come.

  “Maybe they’ll call and invite me out tomorrow. Or I could call Martin and invite myself.” She’d already tried “inviting” herself once before and been sent packing. Was she willing to give it another try? One minute they were all over her, and in the next, they were backing off. It didn’t make any sense.