Denial

by Jackie Kennedy

  “I mean the shocker for me,” Maggie continued, “is that I actually fancy somebody with red hair! But this wee bloke just presses my buttons. I mean we really have something hot. And even though he’s the polar opposite of what I’m normally attracted to, the chemistry is amazing between us. I mean I just want to jump on his bones every time I see him. And his personality, well, I just love it. We share the same sense of humor and the same interests. He’s an expert on the Guinness Book of Records, you know. He knows every wildest and weirdest achievement in history. And there is loads I’ve still to find out about him.”

  Amy groaned inwardly. Oh my God. What a pairing! She looked at Maggie’s smiling face. “Sounds like you’re really serious about this guy.”

  Maggie looked at Amy shyly. “I think he’s the one.”

  Amy dropped her paintbrush into the pot and went to her cousin. Delighted, she swept Maggie around. They laughed and hugged. Both excited at the thought of Maggie being in love.

  Eventually they got back to work, but Amy still wanted Maggie to answer whether she expected that kind of passion to last. After their lovemaking last night, she had lain stiffly in Josh’s arms listening as he whispered how much he loved her. Shame washed over her. During their lovemaking, Celeste had been the only thing on her mind.

  Amy needed to know how quickly sexual passion like that dies. She waited a few minutes then asked again, “Do you expect it to last?”

  “What?” Maggie asked, painting enthusiastically.

  Amy stopped painting and turned to look at her cousin. “The zing,” she replied. “The sex being great, the need to jump on his bones every time you see him. Do you expect that to last?”

  Maggie looked at Amy and laughed. “No. Not forever,” she replied. “But it’s a bloody good start.”

  For the first time ever, Amy let a crack show. “Josh and I have never had that…” she started to wave her hands then remembering the paintbrush, dropped it into the pot, “passion.”

  Maggie stopped painting.

  Just tell her! Amy thought. But she froze, knowing there was no way, even if Maggie threw her on a torture rack, she would ever say that she had experienced that zing with someone else.

  “The passion?” Maggie replied, looking at her cousin curiously. “What do you mean?”

  Amy sighed, knowing she couldn’t let it drop, she desperately needed to speak to Maggie, somehow. “Well, I don’t think Josh and I,” she hesitated, “I don’t think we’ve ever shared what you’re talking about.” Amy rubbed her forehead, unaware that she was smearing paint across it. “You know that zing thing.” Suddenly feeling exposed, she justified quickly, “I mean, I fancy him, who wouldn’t. He’s gorgeous. And the sex…has always been…good.” Or so you thought, her inner voice quipped.

  Amy couldn’t hold back from exploring further. “But it lacks something.”

  Suddenly aware that she had her full attention, Amy looked at Maggie. She struggled for words and eventually muttered, “It lacks something and I don’t know if that something is easy to have, or if it needs some work, or that we can’t have it because it’s never been there and never will?”

  Go on, tell her. Tell her it’s because you’ve experienced what she described with someone else, and you desperately want it to be with Josh.

  Maggie put down her paintbrush. Going to her cousin, she hugged her then held her at arm’s length. “Jellybean, are you all right?” she asked with concern. “You’ve never mentioned this before?”

  Amy shrugged. “I know, but everyone assumes that Josh and I are idyllically happy, and we are,” she reassured when Maggie frowned. “We are a happy couple, but we have our problems. You know, like everyone else.”

  Maggie smiled. “Jellybean, now listen to me.” She cupped Amy’s face. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a man who is kind, sensitive, fun, and very good looking?”

  Amy shook her head.

  “Well, it’s practically impossible. And when you do, they usually spend way more time in front of the mirror and read more gossip column inches than you do. If you know what I mean!”

  Amy’s lips twitched.

  “What you and Josh have is brilliant. He adores you,” Maggie said reassuringly. “And let me tell you, passion isn’t everything, I’ve road tested enough models to know the fun is only in the first few spins. Once you pop the bonnet, there’s always something you need to sort out, and I expect the same with Sean. Whereas Josh, he’s a brilliant bloke. There’s nothing that needs changing with him. He’d give you anything, and you both live for each other.”

  Maggie hugged Amy tightly, then looking at her, admitted, “I want what you’ve got, Amy. Sex, like everything else, gets ordinary, but what you’ve got is real! Do you know how many women would chew off their right arm to have what you’ve got?” She looked at her cousin. “Do you think all couples are banging away, having great sex all the time?”

  Amy looked at her questioningly.

  “The reality is that, for most, it’s all about cleaning up after the kids, doing the dishes, cleaning the house. Fighting for the remote control for the telly is about the only action that most couples get. That’s real life, Amy,” Maggie said reassuringly. “Relationships, like anything else in life, are hard work, and like everything else, they have their peaks and troughs.” She rubbed her hands up and down Amy’s arms, then hugged her, and finished philosophically, “Everything gets ordinary eventually, jellybean.”

  Suddenly feeling much better, Amy smiled and laughed. “Aye, she replied. Pulling out of the embrace, she pinched Maggie’s cheek. “You’re right…let’s get back to work and crack on.” Her eyebrows rose. “I’m looking forward to meeting Superman next week.”

  Maggie laughed. “Well. You’ll be meeting a wee, skinny red-headed version of Superman.” Turning shy, she added, “But he’s my Superman.”

  Chapter 23

  “Mac,” Amy shouted as she fought the pup for her shoe. “Give it back you little runt. Now!”

  With an expensive one-off designer shoe firmly in his mouth, Mac scampered out of her bedroom. Nails scraping, he scurried across the wooden floor and fled down the hall into the guest bedroom.

  Amy gave chase. Running into the guest bedroom, she frantically looked around. Dropping to her knees, she crawled toward the bed. “Why aren’t you like movie dogs; cute and compliable?” she mumbled. She peered under the bed and gasped, Mac was making a meal of her shoe.

  Amy made a swipe for him. “Mac, get your wee bony arse out of there!”

  Since the teething puppies arrived, Amy had picked up, and put out of reach, every chewable item. But, several sneakers, two remote controls, and several dog training classes later proved they were a long way from getting the boisterous pups fully under control. To make matters worse, recently, and for no apparent reason, Flynn had taken to peeing on the floor whenever the doorbell rang.

  Growling, Amy lunged. “Mac, give it back!” She flailed her arm around, and touched the edge of the slavered shoe. “Uggghhh!” She pulled back; her fingers were dripping. “Yuck!”

  Amy grabbed for the first thing she could find to wipe her fingers clean. “Mac,” she said, eyeing him, “I’m at rock bottom with you, buddy, and I’m starting to dig!”

  Growling, Mac shuffled to the far corner then shot out from underneath the bed. Whooshing past, Amy made a grab for him and missed.

  Panting, Mac stopped at the bedroom door and eyed her.

  On her haunches, Amy glared at him.

  Mac eyed her triumphantly.

  “Mac,” Amy yelled as the brown butt sauntered out the door. “Get back here!”

  Pulling herself up, Amy gave chase. Running out of the room, she reeled back when her foot slammed against the corner of the doorframe.

  The doorbell rang.

  “Fuc—Umph!” Amy slapped both hands over her mouth. The pain excruciating, tears filled her eyes.

  “Oh Flynn, what the hell has gotten into you, peeing every
where, man!” Amy heard Josh call out from the hallway.

  Holding her foot, Amy hopped around. After a several whispered expletives, she tentatively placed her stubbed toe on the floor. Hobbling to her shoe rack, she picked out a pair that would accommodate her now very swollen big toe.

  It was Saturday evening, and finally, Amy was about to meet Sean.

  Amy saw Josh quickly clean up Flynn’s mess as she hurried downstairs.

  Opening the front door, Amy welcomed both Maggie and Sean into the house. She hugged Maggie, then shook Sean’s hand, and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Welcome,” Josh said, shaking Sean’s hand.

  Amy took their gifts of flowers and wine, and Josh led them into the living room.

  After drinks were organized, they settled into a comfortable chat. Josh directed most of his conversation to Sean. Soon, they got onto the topic of motorbikes and bike racing.

  Josh winked his approval at Maggie.

  Maggie beamed with pride.

  The rest of the evening slipped away easily, with only a few embarrassing stories regaled by Amy and Josh about Maggie.

  “I’m just setting the record straight,” Amy said finally when Maggie took a playful swipe at her.

  Once Josh discovered Sean was a poker player the cards came out and the stakes were set.

  “I suppose we’ll be staying?” Maggie said to Sean.

  Sean gave Maggie a slight shrug and a huge grin in response.

  Amy could easily see the appeal. He’s cute, she thought.

  Amy and Maggie played for a while and then they both went all-in and lost. Yawning, Maggie stood, saying she was ready for bed.

  “Me too,” Amy responded, standing.

  Josh looked up at them. “We’ll just finish the game.” He winked at Sean.

  “Josh, your head will be loosened from your shoulders if you keep my man up too late.”

  Sean beamed a smile at Maggie.

  Amy and Maggie left the boys chewing on cigars.

  Amy said in a hushed voice as she closed the door, “Josh is trying to play with the big boys. He doesn’t even like cigars.”

  Making their way up the stairs, Maggie grabbed Amy’s hand. “Sean loves me,” she sang quietly. “He can’t get enough of me.”

  “What? He loves you!” Amy teased. “Even though you refuse to separate those eyebrows?”

  Maggie snickered. “Have I told you being a crabby bitch is part of your charm?”

  Amy grinned.

  “He loves me because,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “I have tapped into a source of power that most women don’t even know exists!”

  “What?”

  “Pussy power!”

  “Unbelievable!” Amy said, pointing a finger at Maggie’s crotch. “That old ginger minge of yours actually has power?”

  Maggie laughed. “Absolutely.”

  Both sniggered. “When are the boys being dropped off?” Maggie asked.

  “Probably, late morning.”

  “So, does that mean we get a wee extra hour in bed then?”

  Amy chuckled and hugged her cousin goodnight. “That,” she said conspiratorially, “can easily be arranged.”

  Maggie grinned. “With his big willy and my magic minge, we’ll probably need an extra hour and a half.”

  “You’re something else.”

  “Horny, and can’t get enough of it, I think is the correct response.”

  “See you in the morning,” Amy said. She turned and walked down the hallway.

  “Not too early,” Maggie said as Amy opened her bedroom door.

  Amy smiled sweetly. “Not too early, I promise.”

  Chapter 24

  It was late in the morning when Amy decided to get up; it wasn’t often she got to sleep in. She decided to let Josh sleep on, as he wasn’t used to late nights. Much to her amusement, it had been the early hours of the morning before he appeared. Grumbling, he snuggled into her, telling her peevishly that he was only a few hundred dollars lighter.

  After her shower, Amy made her way downstairs to prepare breakfast. Heading for the kitchen she realized how quiet the house was without the boys. The doorbell rang just as she picked up the phone to dial her in-laws to check what time they would be arriving.

  Amy opened the door and her eyes widened. Celeste and the boys were standing there. Her heart jackhammered.

  Celeste smiled. “Are we in time for breakfast?”

  Amy’s jaw slackened at the sight of the unexpected visitor. Unprepared, she lurched backward when the boys launched themselves at her.

  Celeste quickly reached for Amy and steadied her.

  Instinctively, Amy pushed her away. Bending down, she wrapped her arms around the boys, almost protectively. She hugged and kissed them, then fixed their hair, enjoying the sense of relief that her sons were back in her arms.

  Not wanting to let the boys go, Amy straightened and held their hands. Unwilling to make eye contact with Celeste, she looked down at her boys and asked, “Are you two hungry?”

  Celeste smiled. “Last night,” she said, looking at the boys with affection, “we baked cakes.” She lifted her gaze to Amy. “Well, they were cupcakes designed for precocious three-year-olds. And, no matter how careful we were,” she teased as she looked down at them, “we still somehow managed to get covered in egg yolk and flour. But,” she produced a tub from her bag, “we’ve saved some for Mom and Dad, haven’t we guys?”

  Amy couldn’t help but laugh with Celeste when the boys told her, with their chests puffed out, how great they were at baking.

  Celeste raised an eyebrow, smiled and explained that they had started out with eight cupcakes this morning, but now they were down to two. “Which,” she said, putting on a stern voice, “had to be rescued from these two little misfits.”

  “Morning,” Josh said sleepily as he pulled open the front door.

  Amy looked at him and realized with surprise that she must have stepped out, rather than inviting Celeste in.

  The boys squealed at the sight of their dad, and hurled themselves at him.

  Enjoying their display of affection, Josh laughed and, gathering them easily in his arms, swung them around.

  Amy tried not to think about Celeste standing so close and instead focused on her husband and children. But, with the tension quickly building inside her, she decided she needed to get away from Celeste. She excused herself and made her way to the kitchen.

  Busying herself with breakfast, Amy heard Maggie before she appeared. She smiled happily when Maggie let out a raucous laugh.

  The couple entered the kitchen and sat at the breakfast table.

  “Morning,” Amy said.

  Sean grinned. “Morning,” he said, sitting at the breakfast bar.

  Maggie winked at Amy as she sat next to Sean.

  Josh and Celeste had taken the boys and the pups around to the back of the house. The glass panel was open. Distractedly, Amy poured juice into the jug and watched the adult twins play with her boys and the pups. Holding the carton, she thought how similar Josh and Celeste were and blushed when she realized how intimately she knew them.

  Amy watched Celeste hold Ryan as Josh ran around them with Christopher on his back. They looked the picture of happiness.

  “Amy,” Maggie said, “you’re spilling the juice everywhere!”

  Startled, Amy looked at Maggie, blinking in confusion. She looked at the spillage. “Bloody hell!” she said and quickly cleaned up the mess.

  Sean looked at Maggie. “That’s Josh’s sister, right?”

  Maggie’s attention focused sharply on her boyfriend. Obviously picking up something in his voice that she didn’t like, she said, “Used to be his brother until the op. He, sorry she’s, making the change quite successfully, wouldn’t you say Amy?”

  Maggie’s eyes never left Sean’s.

  Unsure what to think, Sean looked at Amy for confirmation.

  Unable to resist, Amy nodded, then put her finger to her mouth and said in
hushed tones, “It’s a sensitive subject, though. We’re not to talk about it until the stitches come out.”

  Maggie pointed to Sean’s groin and then sliced her hand through the air. “Imagine your pride and joy…gone!”

  Sean shuddered.

  “Apparently,” Maggie added with a note of regret, as she continued to stare at Sean. “He had a big one too.”

  Sean looked wide-eyed at Maggie. “No way,” he said then looked at Amy.

  Amy nodded.

  A look of absolute horror crossed Sean’s face. Reflexively, he placed a hand between his legs.

  Maggie was the first to laugh. Amy followed.

  “Duh…isn’t it obvious that she’s his sister? If I said she had a third leg you’d believe me.” Maggie reached for a glass of juice. “Why do you want to know?”

  Sean looked at Maggie, then Amy, and said, half-jokingly, “Because she’s…a…a looker. She must have guys crawling all over her.”

  At that, they all turned to look at Celeste. He’s right, Amy thought. She looks stunning. Celeste was pushing Ryan in his swing. She was dressed simply, all in black: black jeans and T-shirt, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was fresh-faced, full of smiles and her eyes sparkled. Amy dragged her eyes from Celeste’s mouth.

  Annoyed that Sean was paying Celeste attention, Maggie’s eyes narrowed. If they could Amy was sure her ears would have flattened.

  “How bad-mannered can you get!” Maggie said. “Wasn’t it just this morning, that you only had eyes for me?”

  Sean smiled. “True.” Obviously feeling he could win some ground he added, “That’s because you’re beautiful and smart.”

  Maggie looked at Amy. “Just as well opposites attract!”

  Bewildered, Sean held out his hands. “What have I done?”

  Maggie stared at him.

  “C’mon, baby” Sean said, taking Maggie’s hand. “I’m a man and she’s a beautiful woman. What do you expect?” He stroked Maggie’s hand. “What else do you want me to do?”

  “Admitting you’re an asshole would be a good first step,” Maggie replied. Getting off the stool, she flounced out of the kitchen.