Play Me: A1pha (Alpha) Part 1

by Blue Ashcroft

  “Know what?” I ask. “There’s nothing to know.” I wave a hand like I can wave away the past. “I just need a place to hide out for a while, ‘til I get back on my feet.”

  Ethan nods. “Of course.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Alex says coolly, “I forgot it was your house and your decision to make.”

  “It’s a decision we all should make,” Ethan says. Ollie nods. “Let’s vote.”

  “I vote Kira stays here,” Ollie says, lifting a hand.

  “I second it,” Ethan says.

  “Fine,” Alex says, raising his. “I didn’t say I was against it. Obviously I’m not going to throw her out in the rain.”

  “One would wonder…” Ollie mutters.

  “What was that?” Alex turns to him.

  “Nothing,” Ollie says, folding his arms and leaning back again.

  Alex pushes off the wall and comes toward me. I wince back against the couch, unsure of what he means to do. The very air tingles.

  I pull the blanket tight around my shoulders, trying to ignore the rivulets of water still trickling down my face.

  Alex stops in front of me and reaches one elegant, long-fingered hand down toward me. I blink up at him, trying not to feel the fear that rises in me instinctively at his hand near my face. He freezes, eyes locked on mine, and his hand hovers for a moment as anger flashes across his green eyes and his mouth tightens almost imperceptibly. Anger at me or something else?

  He exhales softly, letting the ire leave his face, and reaches for part of the blanket hanging off the side of the couch.

  He brings it up to my head and presses it gently against my hair, on the top and sides, blotting out the water with sure, steady movements.

  My eyes widen in wonder at the gentleness of it. That’s the A1pha I remember.

  He gives it one last press and then drops it, turning abruptly away from me to stand beside Ethan.

  “We need to get you warm and dry,” Ollie says.

  “I volunteer,” Ethan says much too eagerly, and Alex responds with a quick whap to the back of Ethan’s head. “Ouch, hey…”

  My eyes widen, but Alex is already storming past me into the hall, while Ethan rubs his head and mutters something under his breath.

  Alex comes back into the room with clothing in his hand, carefully folded, and sets it beside me on the couch. “You can wear these for now.”

  I blush deeply. Alex’s clothing. I run a hand over the top garment and gasp at the silky softness of it.

  “Well, go change. You’re dripping all over the couch,” he says coldly. “The bathroom is down the hall, first on the left.”

  Chapter 2

  I nod and gather up the clothes to go find the bathroom and change. Normally I’d have a snappy comeback. But everything is too new and awkward, and for now I’m just keeping my head down. Until I know I’m safe.

  I open the bathroom door and turn on the light. Beautiful lamps mounted above mirrors illuminate sparkling granite countertops and chrome fixtures. The floor is rich tile in shades of beige and ivory. I step onto a luxuriously embroidered rug and turn to the mirror.

  My stomach sinks, knowing this is what my friends saw moments ago. My wet clothing is plastered to my skinny body, bedraggled dark hair hanging around my pale face. I look like a ghost from an Asian horror movie. The ghost of Kira past. I smile at my reflection; it’s the face of a survivor.

  I start on the task of peeling off my clothes, not easy since the cold rain seems to have fused them with my skin.

  But a few minutes later, when I’m warm and mostly dry, the world is a hundred times better.

  I pick up the top Alex brought and hold it up against my body. It’s huge, clearly meant for his tall, built frame and not my small one. It’s a tee with short sleeves, but it flows over my hands with silky smoothness. I flip it over, looking for tags, for what it’s made of, but cold air hits me and I decide it’s better to just put it on while I can.

  I grab the pants. I swear these could be an angora blend by the way they glide over my skin and warm me instantly.

  Alex Dumont being rich doesn’t make any sense. This house doesn’t make any sense.

  I grab a towel from under the sink and run it over my hair, pulling the remaining wetness from it. It brings to mind the way Alex’s strong hands moved over me, sapping away the cold. I pull a hair band off my wrist and put my hair back in a low ponytail, then wrap it into a bun and pull the band over it to hold it in place. At least I look a little less bedraggled.

  I turn off the light and leave the bathroom. The pants drag around my ankles as I walk out into the living room, holding my wet clothing in a towel under my arm.

  The guys don’t notice me at first.

  They’re all leaned forward, discussing something in low voices. Probably me.

  I clear my throat so they don’t feel like I’m eavesdropping. They all pull back, trying to look innocent, except for Alex, who gives me an irritated glare, like he’d rather be dealing with anything else right now.

  Ollie smiles up at me. “Let’s talk more tomorrow. You look exhausted.”

  “I am.” I yawn and stretch and try not to notice that Alex is still glaring at me. “So where am I staying?” I ask.

  “You can stay in my—mpphhh.” Ethan doesn’t even get to finish his rather enthusiastic offer because Alex claps a hand over his mouth to silence him and then stands and walks past him icily.

  Every time Alex comes near, I feel the air crackle with anticipation. My hairs stand on end, but he just walks past me into the hall. “Come on. I’ll show you to your room.”

  “Ooh, formal. Fancy times,” I blurt out because he sounded like some kind of butler when he said it. He stops to give me an eyebrow raise and I blush. “Sorry,” I mutter.

  He turns back to leading me up the stairs, which are luxuriously covered in textured carpet. I run my hand along the beautiful cherry banister. What will my bedroom look like?

  Alex pulls open a door at the end of the hall and gestures for me to go in. I exhale. It’s not what I expected. Maybe no one’s lived in this room yet because it’s sparsely furnished, just a bare mattress on a simple queen frame and a small dresser.

  Alex’s mouth tightens into a hard line. He seems displeased with the situation.

  But I let out of a gasp of pleasure when I realize there’s a gorgeous window seat that looks out over the landscaped yard and many trees. Because of this, it’s perfect.

  “I’m sorry it isn’t nicer,” Alex says from behind me. His voice is soft and cold at the same time. It brings to mind snow falling on a field of white. “If I had known…” He makes a vague gesture with his hand.

  I shake my head. “It’s perfect.” After walking out on him, I don’t really have any rights to anything from him. I’m grateful for whatever I receive.

  “I’ll get sheets to make up the bed.” He exits back into the hall, leaving me alone in the room. Moonlight from the window splays over the softly carpeted floor, and I take a step forward. I tentatively look out to the street. Nothing. No cars driving by that could be carrying Nate.

  I continue to watch the rain fall, enjoying its calming cadence. As long as it doesn’t turn to lightning or thunder, I couldn’t be happier. And storms are rare here.

  Alex comes in with the sheets and starts making up the bed. I don’t offer to help. Alex is the type that likes to take care of things on his own. I remember that much.

  “If you need anything else, let me know,” he says, standing and brushing off his hands.

  “Thanks, this is great for now.”

  “Are you hungry? I should have asked.” He looks a bit abashed and crosses his arms over his chest as he thinks it through. It’s easy to see the play of his long, lean muscles under his thin cashmere sweater. He must be thinking hard because a small wrinkle appears between his perfect brows, the only sign of stress.

  “No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

  He nods but just stands there, and for a m
oment, it’s just us and the moonlight and the light from the hall. Two strangers who used to be friends staring at each other across a room, an intangible chemistry complicating everything. I can literally feel it in the air around me.

  Maybe it’s just the tension of all the things that were unsaid when I left. Maybe it’s the fact that we haven’t discussed it at all. Or maybe it’s something else. Now that we’re alone, I can feel there’s something different, not just between us, but in him alone. A hardness framing him, a coldness swirling around him. A faraway look in his eyes when no one is watching… and sometimes when they are.

  Something happened when I was gone. Something more than the mansion. I take a step forward, searching for the right question, but he turns to go.

  Then he stops, long fingers grazing the handle. His scent lingers in the room, oceanic and sharp.

  “Lock your door,” he says, facing me for a moment. “I don’t trust Ethan.”

  “Then why do you live with him?”

  He shrugs, giving me a small glare. “Just lock your door.”

  I grin at the sternness in his voice and nod. “Fine, I was going to anyway.”

  He nods and turns away.

  “Alex?” I call out.

  “Yes?”

  “Whose house is this?” I take a step forward, rubbing my arms, trying to get up the courage to look him in the eyes. “It’s amazing.”

  At this, he gives me a wry smile, eyes oddly haunted. “It’s mine.” The look that flashes across his face before he turns away stops me in my tracks. I lift a hand to my mouth in shock. I want to ask what has made him so sad, but before I can think of what to say, he’s gone.

  “Goodnight, Alex,” I say quietly to the empty room.

  * * *

  The next morning, I wake somewhat confused. The light streaming across me is unfamiliar, as are the shapes in the room around me in the morning sun. Then the memories hit me with an accompanying headache. I crawled back to the guys. I pull the covers up over me like I can hide under them. Then I sigh and throw them off. I’m not that Kira.

  First things first today: I need to get my stuff from Lulu, my best friend. I stopped by her place on the way here, gave her my stuff in case I had to go to a shelter, told her I’d let her know when I found where I was going, and left. She wanted me to stay, but she knew that was the first place Nate would come looking and it wouldn’t be safe for her or me.

  I reach into my pile of clothes on the floor and rummage for my phone. It falls out of my jean pockets and I swipe to unlock it.

  “I found a place. Can you bring my stuff?”

  “Sure, what’s the address?” she replies. I blank on the exact number and rummage in my pocket some more to find the worn scrap from last night. I didn’t write it on my phone because I didn’t want to be pulling my phone out in the rain and ruining it.

  I send Lulu the address and she texts back that she’ll head out in ten. I peek out and down the hall, wondering which shower I should use. I look at my rumpled clothing and decide that maybe showering at this juncture would be pointless. And doesn’t rain count? I decide to wait until I get clean clothes from Lulu. I change into my clothes, wincing at how rough they are compared to Alex’s, and fold his to stack them neatly by my bed. I’m not a tidy person by nature, but I don’t want him judging me either.

  Especially since I need him to let me stay here for some time. Just until I feel safe again.

  I open my door and peek out.

  Just Ollie downstairs in the living room, long limbs sprawled across the main couch with his laptop on his lap.

  Perfect.

  I creep down the hall, past what I’m guessing is Alex’s door because it looks like the master bedroom, and pause for a moment to listen. Typing. Sounds like he’s working.

  I pad quietly down the stairs and Ollie’s head snaps up when I enter the room. A bright smile crosses his face, lightening his features. “How’s it going, Lo?”

  I shake my head at the name. “Okay. Lulu’s bringing my stuff over.”

  He sits up, frowning. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Ollie remembers Lulu. I had several girlfriends I was able to make through the club. Though none of us liked attending on our own, if several of us could get together, we could go. But the closest was always Lu, an anime and fantasy nerd who played a girly online game with me. She tolerates my gaming and I tolerate her obsession with watching men make out in comic books.

  “She’s the one that’s into Yaoi, right?” he says, frowning slightly like something that smells bad has been put in front of him.

  “Boy-on-boy is more popular than you think.”

  He shrugs. “I guess. She’s not going to keep asking Ethan and me which of us would top, right?”

  It’s my turn to shrug. I suppress a smile. “I don’t know. But I need her right now.”

  He smiles and shakes his head, shutting his laptop. “Well, I’ll let you two get to it.” He puts a hand on my shoulder as he passes. “Let me know if there’s anything you need. Anything, Kira.”

  “Thanks,” I say, putting a hand on his, sharing a quick moment with him. He gives me a quick nod and walks away.

  The doorbell rings, and I open the door to see Lulu gaping up at the house, not even looking my direction.

  “Holy crap,” she says, gray eyes wide behind her thick glasses. She could wear contacts, but she likes her glasses, likes to hide behind them I think. She pushes them up on the bridge of her nose and finally turns to me. She looks me over with a wide grin and then rushes forward to hug me. She smells like fruit and candy, as usual, preferring the type of fragrances aimed at fourteen-year-olds even though she’s twenty.

  “So good to see you,” she says, burrowing her face against my shoulder.

  I pat her back awkwardly, still unaccustomed to expressing affection with girls. My mother was cold and my brothers were… well, boys. “It’s good to see you too.”

  “I was so worried when you had to rush off last night.”

  I nod. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to be unsafe because of me.”

  “Is that why you’ve been so distant the past few months? Because Nate has been more of a bastard?”

  I nod, fighting back the waves of emotion that come when I have to tell someone who didn’t know the full story how bad Nate was. I wish I could just never talk about it again, but that wouldn’t keep me safe.

  “Well, I’m glad that stupidity is over, because I’m not letting anyone scare you away from me again.” She puts her arm in mine and takes a step toward the house, then stops and looks around timidly. “Who lives here anyway?”

  I grin sheepishly. “The guys.”

  She turns to me, owlish eyes narrowed. “The guys… meaning Alex Dumont?”

  “He’s one of them… yes.” I quickly change the subject. “Are you going to Yaoi Con this year?”

  “Of course. You should actually come too. We could make it a road trip.” She brightens and tosses her back-length, white-blond hair over one shoulder. A couple pink streaks in the under layers peek through. She has a thin, elongated oval face with a long, elegant nose and a wide, expressive mouth. And very round, gray eyes with long blond lashes, magnified by her glasses.

  “I’ll think about it,” I say, gesturing for her to sit on one of the couches. When she’s seated, I shut the door and flop beside her with a sigh.

  “So,” she says, pushing her glasses up her nose as she looks over her side of the chair at me. She’s wearing a comically large T-shirt, as usual, with some character on the front and a sweatshirt tied around her waist. “Who are you staying with? Just the three?”

  “Yup.”

  “And how do they live in this house?”

  “I haven’t figured that out yet. I just got here late last night, and we haven’t talked much.”

  “Are you staying here long?”

  “For all I know they were only letting me stay last night. I guess if I had to, I could fly home. But things would
be miserable at home.”

  “And Nate could find you there, if he really wanted to.”

  I nod. “You see the problem.”

  She nods solemnly. “This is the best option. I approve, despite the fact that three hot dudes live here.” A smile creeps up her face and she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

  “Oh, come on, Lu, that’s the last thing on my mind.”

  She laughs and twirls a lock of hair around her finger. Sometimes if she’s overthinking something, she’ll chew on her hair too. “Maybe you should live a little.”

  “Maybe when I’m not afraid for my life.”

  “But you left him already. You’re safe now.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “You think I haven’t read the stats? Most domestic violence deaths happen after the person leaves.”

  “Why?” she asks, eyes wide, voice tremulous.

  “Because then they have nothing to lose,” I say grimly. But when I see her face fall, I can’t leave it like that. “But don’t worry. That’s why I’m being safe. Nate won’t come for me here. He’s afraid of other men. He’s a coward like that.”

  “Coward,” she says, sniffing and swiping at her eyes while looking away. “Wish I could kill him so you could just not worry about it.”

  “Eventually, he’ll move on,” I say. “Hopefully. The first step is finding a safe place, finding help. Breaking the silence. I’ve done that.”

  She nods. “But can you really live with Alex? I mean… after what happened?”

  “You mean after he told me it was Nate or them and if I left to never come back?”

  She nods. “Yeah, that. Bastard.”

  “Alex isn’t that bad. He just… He’s stubborn when he thinks he’s right. I don’t think he even considered that I would walk away from them. But he didn’t realize how much I wanted to be wanted.”

  “Yeah, that was your problem,” she says. “You wanted to be wanted so badly but didn’t know what real want looked like.”

  “What?” I ask, because this is all new stuff.

  “Real want isn’t the obsession that Nate had. I didn’t know how to communicate it to you. The way he just swept in and wouldn’t take no for an answer, wanted you and only you. I know part of it is because your dad left, but Nate never looked healthy to me. I get why you were into him, but I never liked him either.”