Play Me: A1pha (Alpha) Part 1

by Blue Ashcroft

  “You didn’t say that.”

  “I didn’t want to be cut out of your life. I tried to tell you how I felt in the best way I could, gently. But then Alex stomped over that and fired his bazooka and you wouldn’t hear anything bad about Nate after that.”

  “As if Alex had any right firing the bazooka after ignoring me for two years.”

  “He didn’t ignore you, Kira. Anyone with eyes could see he was crazy about you.”

  “What?” My stomach sinks. I remember turning to Alex as I stormed off his porch. I told him to give me one good reason to choose them over Nate. He’d just stayed silent, giving me that imperious glare that always meant I should know the answer on my own. Wrong.

  “We all knew, Kira. Didn’t you ever notice how overprotective he was? That’s why he was the craziest when you were going to move in with Nate.”

  “Oh,” I say quietly. Maybe I was a little confused about what love looked like. I thought Nate’s passionate pursuit was all a woman could ask for. It never occurred to me that Alex Dumont’s quiet care and outbursts of protectiveness could be another kind. If it’s true that he loved me then, I’m devastated and pleased at the same time. Pleased because it’s what past me wanted so badly but never heard. Devastated because so many mistakes were made in the meantime, and I’m not sure if any of them can be repaired.

  If Alex and I would even make a good pair now, with the animosity between us, Nate on the trail, and the odd, wary look in Alex’s eyes that wasn’t there before.

  “Where are they, anyway?” she asks, looking around us. “I want someone to explain what’s going on here. Why they’re in a huge mansion now.”

  I shrug. “All I know is it’s Alex’s.”

  “This goes beyond rich. You need to Google his butt," she says, walking dazedly into the living room.

  A part of me prickles at the idea, but I shrug. “Be my guest.”

  “You won’t?”

  “If there’s something he wants me to know, he’s going to have to tell me.”

  “Fine,” she says. “Then I won’t tell you what I find.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Darn it,” she mumbles. “But I’ll want to tell you.”

  I just laugh.

  “Well, bring him down. I want to know that his intentions while my friend is staying here are totally honorable.”

  “Well, even if you’re right that he did at one point like me, I doubt he does anymore.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “You never know. Do you want him to like you?”

  I sigh, truly unsure how to answer. Unsure if I even know myself. “I haven’t decided yet. But fine, I’ll see if I can find him. Only if you promise not to ask him if he’s a top or a bottom,” I add, giving her a stern look that’s only half serious.

  “Oh, I’d never ask him anything like that,” she says coyly. When I’m almost to the stairs, she follows with, “He obviously tops.”

  I freeze for a moment, then laugh it off and bound up the stairs.

  I take the steps two at a time, trying to tell myself there’s no need to be nervous. Alex has a right to be mad, but he’s not going to be a jerk when I’m in trouble. I know that much about him. He could have thrown me out last night if that were the case.

  But does that mean he likes me? If he did before, does he still now? Why is my brain even considering this when there are more pressing matters at hand? For some reason, it still means so much.

  I take a deep breath and raise my hand to knock. I freeze when I hear voices drifting out from the room. Ethan and Alex. My hand hovers an inch from the wood, and I hear my name. They’re talking about me?

  Chapter 3

  I throw a quick glance over my shoulder at Lulu, who is sitting quietly and patiently on the couch, not looking this way at all. I move to the side of the door and lean in to listen.

  “You sure you aren’t interested anymore?” That’s Ethan’s voice, low and playful.

  “Not in the least,” Alex snaps back.

  Two of my questions are answered. Yes, he cared for me before, though he was bad at showing it. No, he no longer cares anymore. It’s too late. My stomach drops for a second at the sting of rejection, then steadies as righteous indignation takes over. Who cares if he’s still interested? Jerk.

  “Are you sure? I mean—this is Lotus we’re talking about. The Lotus, I mean—”

  “I’m positive,” Alex says resolutely, cutting him off. “Whatever I felt for Lotus… died when she left. It’s over now.”

  Strike one.

  “Don’t you think maybe you’re overreacting? With what you’ve been through, it’d be understandable.”

  Alex makes a hissing noise. “It’s nothing to do with that.”

  “Because if you want me to back off, give you guys space to figure things out…”

  “I don’t need space with her. I’ll never think of her like that again.”

  Strike two.

  “So in that case, I can…” Ethan trails off.

  “Do whatever you want,” Alex says quietly, angrily. “It’s not my business. Not anymore.”

  Strike three.

  I’m out. Back to the bleachers for me, with a stung ego and a weary heart.

  I don’t know why I thought leaving Nate would be the hard part and everything else would just fall into place. I thought once I escaped, fixing things and earning forgiveness would be easy.

  “You have to move on.” Ethan’s voice cuts into my thoughts.

  “I have. That’s why I’m saying—”

  “Okay, I get it,” Ethan mutters.

  “She made her bed. Let her sleep in it.”

  “Alex, are you going to be reasonable about this or not?”

  “What is reasonable?” Alex’s tone is resentful, hurt.

  “You need to let her stay. She could be in danger,” Ethan insists.

  “I didn’t say I’d throw her out. But now that I’m over it, I’m not here to cater to her every whim either.”

  “You don’t sound like you’re over it,” Ethan says.

  “I promise you, I’m done. If you think—”

  Unwilling to hear anymore, I push myself back in front of the door and knock heavily. Silence. I fan my face a couple times and then put my hands at my sides to look casual.

  Who cares what Alex the not-so-great thinks? Not me.

  The door opens slowly, Ethan in front, Alex standing tall behind him. Ethan’s warm brown eyes widen with shock and concern for what I’ve possibly heard, but Alex’s green eyes are cold as an icy sea. At best, he seems uncertain about where to go from here; at worst, he’s somewhat pleased that I know where I stand.

  “We’re back,” I stammer, trying to channel my anger into sounding strong. “I just came to tell you I’m not staying.” I tilt up my chin. “I found somewhere to go.” I could have stayed with the Alex from last night, the cold, hesitant, but dutiful friend. I can’t stay with this one. I don’t need his pity.

  “Oh, where?” Alex pushes Ethan easily out of the way of the door, narrowing his eyes on me. He’s wearing a gray sweater that sets off his tanned, smooth skin beautifully. His blond hair is perfectly mussed. He rolls up his sleeves slightly, baring muscled, lean forearms, and gives me an imperious glare.

  “Somewhere,” I say, staving off a blush. Under a bridge. On a park bench. On Mars. Like it’s his business anymore. Maybe I’ll just fly home after all.

  “Where? I thought Nate was after you.” He walks forward, looking down at me over his perfectly straight nose. His sculpted lips are pressed in a firm line. I walk back from him until my waist hits the banister, and I stop with a gasp of shock. I look up at him fearfully, not for the hurt he could deal physically, but for the hurt he could deal emotionally.

  He stops abruptly when he sees my expression, and Ethan bumps into his back with a grunt. Alex pins me with a sharp gaze, but any triumph or smugness is gone from his features. It’s almost like he actually feels he might have done something wrong�
�which is a minor miracle, considering it’s A1pha we’re talking about.

  “Tell me where you’re going,” he commands, his voice soft but insistent.

  “It’s none of your business,” I say coldly. “I just wanted to tell you thanks for letting me stay last night.” I turn away, ready to bolt for the stairs. “See you around,” I mumble, but before I take off, his hand shoots out to grab my arm. I didn’t even see it move. Classic Alex. Classic A1pha.

  “Let me go,” I choke out, using anger to keep back my tears. I twist out of his reach and run downstairs to Lulu.

  Lulu looks up with a shocked expression as I enter the room, slightly breathless.

  “I’m leaving,” I say. “Let’s go.”

  Lulu sits up and looks me over. “What’s wrong? Did that bastard say something? Kira, let’s calm down and think about this.”

  It’s one of my worst qualities, that I’m impulsive. I huff and reach for my bag, eyes burning with angry tears. I take Lulu’s arm and try to pull her to standing. Ollie comes into the room, obviously woken from a nap. He runs his hand through his hair and stares dazedly at us. “Kira, what are you doing?”

  “I’m finding somewhere else to stay.”

  “I thought you had somewhere to stay.”

  I freeze and look up to see Alex leaning lazily against the entrance to the living room, arms folded, legs crossed. From his perfectly tousled hair to his perfectly manicured toes, he’s the very picture of cruel beauty.

  “I’ll figure it out,” I mutter, turning toward the door.

  “Just stop it,” he says flatly. “Is this about what you overheard up there?”

  Ollie and Lulu look at each other and then me. “What?” they say almost simultaneously.

  “No,” I spit out, reaching for the door handle.

  “Because we don’t have to get along with you to protect you,” Alex mutters.

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “Protect me? Why would you do that? After all, whatever was between us died when I left, right?”

  I can see Ollie and Lulu look at each other in my periphery, but Alex doesn’t even blink twice at my accusation.

  “I wouldn’t throw anyone out on the street. Even you.”

  “Wow…” I snarl. “How magnanimous of you.” I shake my head and twist the doorknob in my hand. “I was so stupid to come back here. To think there was something between us worth fixing. Obviously, I can forgive you for not wanting to be my friend if I didn’t want to do your bidding, but you can’t forgive me for taking you up on your own ultimatum.” I can’t see him behind me, but his silence speaks volumes.

  “Tell Ethan I’ll get in touch when I’m settled so he doesn’t think I just ran out on him again.”

  More silence.

  I turn back to look in Alex’s eyes one last time—really beautiful green eyes—but there’s a warning in the quiet intensity burning there.

  “You aren’t leaving,” he says. “Not until we figure this out.”

  “Oh yeah?” I ask. “Try and stop me.”

  I open the door and head out, but before I can step one foot out into the sunlight, I feel my legs swept out from under me and the world turns upside down as I feel myself hoisted over Alex’s shoulder like a bag of flour. I kick helplessly, blushing and pounding his back.

  “Alex Dumont, you let me go right now!”

  “But you told me to try and stop you.”

  “Right,” I say, going limp against his back to catch my breath as he carries me back inside. I catch Lulu’s and Ollie’s shocked expressions as we pass them. That was a bad idea, considering how much he loves a challenge. “You win. Now put me down.”

  “You know, now that you tell me to, I find myself not wanting to,” he says, turning to face Lulu and Ollie and leaving me with my ass in the air over his shoulder. He holds my legs around the knees with one arm, and my halfhearted attempts to get away from him are futile.

  “Lulu, it’s been a while. How are you?” he asks her casually, like he doesn’t have an angry, red-faced woman flailing around on his shoulder.

  “We… uh…” Lulu doesn’t know what to say. “Kira, you okay?”

  “No,” I grit out. “I’m not okay. Someone get this asshole off me. Ollie, are you just going to sit there and let him do this?”

  “I don’t know,” Ollie says sardonically. “I don’t like how he’s doing it, but I can’t necessarily disagree with his reasons.”

  “Asshole,” I mutter.

  Just then, Ethan appears at the foot of the stairs and comes through the living room doorway with a shocked look on his face.

  “Well, that escalated fast,” he says, scratching his head. “Kira, you okay?”

  I’m starting to feel a little lightheaded from being upside down, but I’m not dizzy enough to not find it a little hot that he’s willing to challenge Alex for me. “No. Tell this Neanderthal to put me down now.”

  “Put her down, Alex.”

  “Or what?” Alex says, turning to him like I weigh nothing. His voice is casual and pleased, like he could just keep me on his shoulder all day and not be bothered at all by it.

  “Or I’ll make you,” Ethan says, rolling up his sleeves and coming forward to stand with his hands in his pockets.

  “One, you couldn’t,” Alex says coldly. “Two, I’m just trying to keep her from running out there and doing something stupid.”

  “Put me down, Neanderthal.”

  He ignores me. “So I’ll put her down as soon as she’s sane again and realizes that just because I pricked her pride, it’s no reason to run out there and end up alone in the world… or worse.”

  “I wouldn’t be alone,” I say, beating on his back weakly. “I’d have Lulu and Ollie… and Ethan, I guess.” Alex stiffens at the last name and his hand tightens on my legs.

  “I see. In that case, are you willing to listen to them?”

  “If you put me down.”

  “Not until you promise to stay here,” he says.

  “I don’t need to.”

  “Then why did you knock on my door last night, soaking wet, like a drowned rat?”

  I ruffle at the comparison. “Because I thought you had mercy. I thought you’d be helpful. I thought we could all be friends again.” I breathe heavily after spitting out the words.

  Ethan steps forward. “We are friends,” he says. “And now you’re going to put her down.”

  “As if you could make me,” Alex says.

  The two stare each other down, and I feel my dizziness increase. This would be kinda hot to watch if I were right side up and not about to pass out. I won’t forget Ethan for doing this, for being the only one willing to stand up to him.

  “You put her down,” he says, and I sag in relief because Alex relaxes his grip on me and goes toward the couch. He bends forward and releases his hand and drops me on my back on the sofa. I let out a gasp and draw in air, curling into a ball to breathe. Ethan’s there in a moment, standing in front of me.

  “See what you did?”

  Alex’s reply is a cold glare. “I just did what no one else was willing to do.”

  “Which wouldn’t have been necessary if you weren’t such a huge dick,” Ethan says, glaring back. The two stare at each other for a moment, and then Alex turns his gaze to me.

  “You’ll stay here,” he says.

  “Fine,” I mutter. “There are at least some people here who still like me anyway. People I trust.” I send a warm look at Ethan and see fire ignite in Alex’s eyes when he follows the direction of my gaze.

  Maybe he’s not that over it after all.

  He studies me, gaze burning, and for a second I could swear he wants to ask me a question but doesn’t want to look like he cares too much. Frustration flashes across his face. For a minute, the fire just burns. But then he regains his icy composure. He shakes his head and strides off, pausing once at the entryway to the hall, as if trying to think of a comeback, and then, angry at himself, he storms out of sight.

&nbs
p; We all sit dazed in his wake. We listen as he takes the stairs up to his room and slams the door after him.

  “Phew,” Lulu says, waving her hand in front of her face. “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

  Ethan gives her a confused glance and then turns to me with a shrug. “That’s Alex for you. I’m sorry about that. He’s just… Well, you know. And about what you heard before…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Don’t mention it,” I say, a grimace coming to my face at the thought. “It’s not your fault.”

  “What’s not his fault?” Lulu and Ollie ask simultaneously.

  “Nothing. Just, both of you calm down.”

  “It’s a little bit hard, after a scene like that,” Lulu says, and Ollie nods in agreement.

  “And you,” I say, narrowing my eyes at Ollie. “Just what did you think you were doing sitting there and watching him manhandle me?”

  Ollie raises an eyebrow. “Frankly, I kind of agreed with him.”

  “Not all of us can be heroes, Kira,” Ethan says, giving me a rakish grin.

  “Speaking of which, thanks, Ethan.”

  “Anytime, doll.”

  “Gross,” Ollie says, tone sardonic. “Get a room.”

  I blush at the assertion and Ethan just wiggles a raised eyebrow at me.

  Uh-oh.

  “Anyway,” Lulu says, cutting in to change the subject. “At least you’re staying here and you’ll be safe.”

  “Yeah.” I recline on the couch, resting one foot over the arm. “So how did Alex come to own a house?”

  Ethan looks at Ollie for help but gets only silence in response. Ollie pulls out his phone and focuses intently on something on the screen.

  Ethan lets out an aggrieved sigh and rubs his forehead. “How do I explain this?”

  “Explain what?”

  “I don’t know if he would want me to tell you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Ethan sucks in his tanned cheeks. “Alex is sort of rich.”

  “Yeah, I guessed as much. But how? Did he go into pro gaming finally?”