Play Me: A1pha (Alpha) Part 1

by Blue Ashcroft

  “I await your orders, Cap’n.” I give a dramatic bow and mime sweeping a hat off my head at his graciousness and back out of the room.

  “Oh, and, Kira?” he calls from inside.

  “Yes, your majesty?”

  “We’re gaming tomorrow. You should join us. I haven’t beaten you in a while.”

  I frown and walk away, not dignifying that with a retort.

  * * *

  Despite Alex’s taunt, when I come down the next day to game with the guys, he isn’t there. We decide to play Super Smash Brothers on the Wii, because there’s nothing like sending your friends flying off the screen while you talk about what they’ve been up to.

  When we’re mostly caught up, I turn the conversation to the subject of Alex. “So… pretty nice house you all live in now,” I say, trying to sound casual about it when really I feel very intensely that if I can find the reason for Alex’s money, I can find the reason he’s so angry.

  “I know,” Ethan says. “Honestly, when Alex came into his money, we thought he’d just move out and we wouldn’t see him.” He flicks his joystick and Ollie’s character explodes off the screen, leaving a smoke trail behind. I grin.

  “But you ended up going with him?” I ask, throwing an item at Ethan and knocking him off the screen right after Ollie.

  “Yeah,” Ethan says, scowling at me momentarily for taking one of his lives. “But then he insisted not only on buying the house all by himself, but also paying all of the rent and utilities. Like he couldn’t stand it if we didn’t come. He’s always been kind of a lone wolf, so we weren’t expecting it.”

  “We almost didn’t go, too,” Ollie says. “But with what happened—”

  Ethan cuts in over Ollie. “Well, we didn’t want him to be alone.”

  “What happened?” I ask, feeling exasperated that no one will tell me, when Alex seems sure I should already know.

  “That’s not for us to say,” Ethan says hesitantly.

  “But why wouldn’t you guys want to move in? Live with friends, free rent. Sounds like a deal,” I murmur in case he doesn’t want to talk at a volume Alex can hear from upstairs.

  “Well, frankly, we graduated and have jobs. It’s not like we need him to pay rent. And to be fair, Alex isn’t always the easiest person to deal with. He’s kind of controlling and—”

  “High praise,” Alex says, his quiet, sardonic voice floating over the back of the couch and announcing his presence.

  Ethan laughs and ignores him.

  “So, Alex,” I say, patting the couch next to me. I’m hoping if I just act friendly with him, like nothing has happened, eventually he’ll reciprocate. “Come tell me about what’s been going on with you in the past year and a few months. There has to be something fun I’ve missed.”

  The room goes oddly silent. It feels like everyone is holding their breath in anticipation of not saying anything.

  “Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

  “What’s going on in your life, Kira?” Ollie says, sitting on the ground. “You can take my seat, Alex.”

  “Why would I want your seat?” Alex asks.

  “You could play a few matches with us.”

  Alex just glares at us.

  “Oh, come on,” Ethan says, handing over his controller. “You haven’t played in forever. It’s excellent for anger management.”

  “I’m actually done,” Ollie says, setting aside his controller. “No way I’m playing with those two in the game.”

  “Oh, come on,” Ethan says.

  “No way. It’s not even my game anyway, and those two are insane.”

  “Whatever,” Ethan says, keeping his controller.

  The match starts, and a funny thing happens. Alex and I seem to avoid each other, murdering the crap out of Ethan’s lives before either of us die once. When the time ends, Alex and I are just waiting motionless, our characters facing each other on the platform.

  “Maybe Ollie was right. Is something going on between you two?” Ethan asks, setting down the controller. “I mean, something beyond the scathing hate that’s been evident lately?”

  “No,” Alex and I say quickly in unison.

  “Good,” Ethan says, standing and stretching. “Because I’m interested in you, Kira. You’re cute. When you’re ready, I’d like to see how that would go. Think about it.” He winks at me and saunters down the hall, leaving me gaping and Alex staring in thinly veiled contempt.

  I’m not sure what to say to that. I’ve never seen Ethan that way. I didn’t know he felt like that. Maybe he didn’t before?

  Alex seems at least as disturbed as me, and he brings his fisted hand to his mouth, a pensive look on his face. He turns back to me after calming. “You want to do another match? I guess it’s just us.”

  “Don’t you have something to do? Aren’t you super busy?”

  He tilts his head a bit, studying me. “I have time for a match. Why, you scared?”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t know if I want to lose to you right now.”

  “What makes you sure you’d lose?” he asks.

  “Two reasons. First, because you’re just plain better than me.”

  “You’ve won before.”

  “Sure,” I say. “Second, it seems like the more I care, the worse I do. And that puts you at an automatic advantage because you apparently never care.”

  “Care about what?”

  “Whether you win or not.”

  A muscle in his jaw twitches and his eyes narrow slightly. “What makes you think that?”

  “It’s just obvious. You’re so calm.”

  “That’s just how I play. So do you want to play me or not?”

  “Maybe,” I say. “Maybe, if we can up the stakes for you so you care as much as I do.”

  “Hm. I don’t know what I could get by winning that I couldn’t get anyways.”

  “I’ll work for you for free. For a month.”

  His face hardens. “Fine. If I lose, I’ll give you free rent for a month.”

  “I’ll pick the level.” So I do—one shamelessly in my favor. I just want to see the fighter in Alex come out again. The match starts. It’s even for a good while, his reflexes countered by my ability to plan one step ahead. When we come down to the last life, sweat is beading on my forehead, but I can’t wipe it because I can’t take my hand off the controller. I sneak a quick look at him and see him deep in intense concentration. It’s going to be close. Smash is the only game I can even hope to win at. It’s not one of his favorites. Too clumsy and random.

  And then an item drops on top of me, right on my head. A perfect knockout on anyone I hit with it. I grin in victory and toss it at Alex, realizing a split second too late that I’m playing the only person I’ve ever known who catches items and throws them back. Everyone else would be dead, but in this case, I’m the one that’s going to be dead. In slow motion, I see the ball come back toward my character, collide with it, and send it flying off. Match over.

  “Darn,” I say, tucking sweaty hair behind my ear. “I guess I didn’t pick something you care enough about.”

  He just studies me for a moment, an unreadable look in his eyes, and then he stands and walks slowly over. I recoil slightly against the couch, intimidated by his animalistic movement as he comes to stand in front of me, plants one hand on the side of the couch and the other on the back, leaning over me, circling me on all sides.

  He gives me a long, slow look, looking up to my eyes finally. His are flashing. He looks down at my lips for a minute, and it makes me think his talk of disinterest is BS.

  “You’ve got it all wrong.” He uses one long finger to tilt my chin and tip my face to his. Warmth floods through me, his dominance making me tingle in places that have no business tingling. “I don’t need something extra to make me care. I win because I just freaking. Love. Winning.”

  Chapter 6

  His gaze is so intense I can’t remember how to breathe. But then his expression changes, li
ke he feels he has to put away that part of himself. When he’s about to release me, I grab the front of his sweater and pull him back.

  “I—I have to go,” he says, looking down at my hands.

  “Stay,” I say. It’s confusing and all kinds of wrong, but I want to keep him here. He was honest with me for a moment; he let me see the Alex beneath the cold perfection.

  He sighs and looks to the side. It turns me on, being so close to him. Smelling the crisp scent of ocean and clean laundry and something deeper, more masculine beneath the surface of all the freshness. Something that makes me want to pull him closer and strip off his shirt and smell his raw skin.

  Oh dear.

  He turns back to me, beautiful eyes narrowed, like he’s trying to guess what’s in my mind. “I’ll pay you for work,” he says. “We’ll forget the bet.”

  “Fine,” I say. It was a stupid bet anyway.

  “Can you do it fulltime?” he asks.

  “Not sure. Can you?” I smirk at the double entendre. He looks confused, and I wiggle my eyebrows at him. When he gets it, he frowns, offended.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “Stop putting it there,” I say with a smirk. It’s not like I want to date Alex right away, but I can’t help being wildly attracted to him.

  Right from that first night on the porch, when he opened the door and light streamed from behind him, I could feel something was still between us. So what if I did something to make him hate me? At least he remembered me.

  I want him to remember me now. I put a hand up to his cheek, unable to overcome the wash of tenderness that comes when I look at him too long. It makes me remember the good times. Sitting on a rainy porch together. The silent smiles we shared over something Ethan or Ollie did to make us laugh. The way we were always just there for each other.

  The frustration on his beautiful face when I told him I was going with Nate and there was nothing he could do about it.

  Alex doesn’t flinch away from my hand. He closes his eyes for a moment, long lashes fanning across his cheeks. He’s about to sink into it, but then he stops, takes a breath, and pulls my hand away.

  “Don’t make things complicated, Kira,” he begs.

  “It’s too late for that,” I say, reaching for him. But he pulls away again, and this time I let him go. Maybe I was just trying to make him accept me because of my pride. Maybe I wanted a moment where I hadn’t messed up, where everything was fine between us. It’s not like I’ve secretly loved him for years…

  Regret pools in his eyes. They’re ocean green, thousands of feet deep. I’m drowning in them.

  “It’s just business, Kira,” he says. He strides off, hands in his pockets. I wait until I hear him open and close his door, then sink back against the couch.

  The breeze from upstairs filters down to me and the fresh scent of lilacs replaces Alex’s oceanic scent. For a moment, the combination smells like rain.

  What I wouldn’t give for some rain right now. It would match my mood.

  My wish is granted, albeit not exactly as I wanted, as thunder cracks overhead, startling me, and rain starts to fall, pattering against the window.

  Boo. It better stop soon. Before nightfall. I can’t deal with thunder in the dark. I don’t know what Alex would do if I ran to him for comfort. Another peal of thunder cracks overhead and I dash up to my room, hoping it goes away soon so I don’t have to deal with it.

  I grab a book and turn on a lamp along with the main light. I read and read, watching helplessly as the sun sets and night falls. Even a book can’t distract me from the thunder and lightning flashing through the darkness. I can’t help it. With each crack, I feel physically threatened, afraid, like I’m coming apart.

  I change into my pajamas and prepare for bed. At least I can keep the main light on.

  But right around midnight, the power goes out.

  My heart stops in my chest as I gaze into the darkness. A flash of lightning lights up the room, thunder on its way. Nate may have been useless in a lot of ways, but he was always there in the dark during a storm, even if he wasn’t touching me. A moment later, the light flashes back on. I hold my breath, waiting to see if it goes off again. My heart pounds so hard I think it may explode. I have to get out of here, have to find someone before it goes out again and I’m caught in the dark.

  I look down at my outfit. A loose T-shirt and soft, worn plaid pajama pants. Good enough. I walk to the door and realize a bra would probably be a good idea, and I throw off my tee and put one on, then pull my shirt on again. Thunder sounds and I jump up and peek out my bedroom door, wondering where I should go. I could go to Ollie, but he’s downstairs. I could go to Alex, but he’d probably mock me. I know before he would have comforted me, but he doesn’t seem much for comfort lately.

  Another crack overhead has me running from my room, deciding I’ll make the decision on my way out. Luckily, when I get to Alex’s door, the light is off, making that decision for me. I won’t wake him. I walk toward the room at the end of the hall. Someone is awake there; light is streaming from under the door.

  I knock softly and wait. A tickle of anticipation runs up my back. Then the door opens and Ethan peeks out, dark hair mussed and adorable, eyes tired and a little confused.

  “Kira?” He seems like he was asleep with the lights on. Not the main one, just a lamp. Awkward. He scans me and his eyes widen slightly. He pushes soft, wavy hair off his forehead. “You okay? You need something?”

  I try to think about how to say it, but lightning strikes, illuminating the house through the many windows, and I jump forward into his arms with a little squeak.

  He pulls me forward and closes the door. He walks me to the bed and sits beside me, an arm around my shoulders. After a reassuring squeeze, he waits for me to talk.

  When I don’t, he lets out a soft sigh. “You know, it’s not that I’ve never had a woman in here this time of night, but I have to admit in this case, it’s a bit peculiar.”

  I look up at him questioningly.

  “I mean, if that’s what you came for, I’m all for obliging, but…”

  He smiles down at me and I can tell he’s trying to make me feel better. He has one adorable dimple that shows every time he grins, which is often. He has a square jaw, large liquid-brown eyes, and beautiful tanned skin.

  Sitting next to him on the bed with his lean, muscular arm around me, I kind of want to lift his shirt and see if the tan is natural or acquired.

  “So lightning?” he asks, giving me another squeeze.

  I nod. “It’s stupid, right?”

  “No. Well, coming to a guy’s room in the middle of the night is a bit stupid, but hopefully you won’t make that a regular thing.”

  “I won’t,” I say. “But we aren’t strangers.”

  “That’s true. And I’d especially like to not be strangers now.”

  “Why now? I never thought you were interested before.”

  “You’re a girl who games,” he says frankly. “Where am I going to find that? As for before, I always saw you as kind of off-limits. Bro code and all that. I’m not happy that Alex was a douche and hurt your feelings, but if he really is out of the way, I don’t feel that bad about it.” He gives me a rakish grin, flashing even, white teeth.”

  “I’m flattered, I guess,” I say, then let out another squeak as thunder hits. I clap my hands over my ears.

  “Were you always scared like this?”

  “No,” I say, lowering my hands. “Just after my dad left.”

  It’s silent for a moment and I take a deep breath to enjoy the rain while I can.

  “How can I help?”

  “Just let me stay here, I guess, if you don’t mind.”

  He grins. “No problem.” He scoots back on the bed to lean against the headrest. “Come here.” He reaches out an arm, and despite my reservations, I crawl forward into his embrace. He smells spicy, like cinnamon and licorice and bitter herbs. It’s warm and calming. That’s what E
than has always been to me. That comforting, fun place that I can run to without complications. Is it going to get more complicated now? And why, with this wonderful guy beside me, can’t I stop thinking about Alex?

  I flinch against him as lightning flares again. “I feel like I’m going to be electrocuted.”

  He runs a hand through my hair, then looks down at me with a playful grin. “Want me to distract you?”

  “What?” I ask, giving him a suspicious look. “What do you mean?”

  He wiggles an eyebrow. It gives his boyish face a silly look. He’s the kind of guy you see on the beach in high-end clothing ads, the sporty ones. He’d charm any other woman. Any woman who wasn’t caught up in dealing with her ex and still a little bit in love with Alex Dumont.

  “Um… I’ll pass for now.” I laugh a little to try and brush off the awkwardness. You can never tell if Ethan is serious. Maybe that’s why I missed his interest before.

  He takes a quick breath in mock offense and places a tanned hand on his rather well-formed chest. He uses the other to gesture to himself in a comical way. “You’re going to pass on all of this? How dare you?” He wiggles one eyebrow and then pulls me against him with one arm and raises the other menacingly above my midsection. “I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”

  My eyes widen and I laugh and try to squirm away. “Don’t. I’m crazy sensitive to tickling.”

  One eyebrow rises. “Ooh. Now you’ve made it sound extra interesting.” He grins.

  I laugh but shield myself with my hands. “No, I’m serious. I can’t be responsible for what I do when I’m tickled. Scream… kick.”

  “Well…” He trails off, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

  “Well what?” I ask breathlessly, trying not to check him out. Trying not to notices his muscles, corded and tight from his shoulders to his hands. Nice tight waist peeking out above low-riding pajama pants. Wide shoulders. His grin falls slightly and he gives me a sultry, heavy-lidded look.

  “I generally prefer the women on my bed to be screaming, if you know what I mean. Not because they’re being tickled, but I’ll take what I can get.”

  I frown, trying not to laugh. “You sure they aren’t screaming because they want to get off your bed?” I tease.