Secrets & Admirers

by Allie York

  “Who called?” I pried myself away from her, intent on feeding her, and walked us toward the kitchen.

  “My sister. Carmen couldn’t answer the phone when our mother died, but suddenly wants to talk. It may be bad karma, but I have nothing to say to her.” Harriet shrugged against me on the stairs and stopped to admire the tree again. “I’ve never celebrated Christmas. I went to Rae’s for Christmas when I was younger and her parents bought me a gift every year, but I never really had a family to celebrate with. Rae and Nick have had their tree up for over a month.” Harriet was getting Christmas in a big way, I just had to keep it secret for a few more days.

  I stared at the seven-foot tree for a minute. Christmases as a kid were fun. It was the one time of the year we pretended to be normal. All of us put on the illusion that the head of our household wasn’t an abusive bastard and had one day a year that was pleasant. Family and friends all came over for Ma to cook and we laughed, sang, told stories. The adults played Secret Santa and the kids fought over toys. Since Dad died, we put up a tree, but never really celebrated. What was the point? Ma was an only child and Dad’s family was across the state.

  Ma was already in the kitchen, dressed and setting out cups for coffee. Normally, by that time in the morning I was halfway into a work project and daydreaming about the next note I would get from Harriet, but I preferred the current situation. Harriet hopped up on the red barstool next to my mother and they started chatting. Ma looked over Harriet’s head and asked a million questions about the apartment. As far as I was concerned, my girl was never going back to that place. No doorman, no security, and no cameras. Our house was paid for, it was the only decent thing my father ever did, and Harriet could stay as long as she wanted. Forever was fine with me.

  I made pancakes, using egg substitute, while Harriet and Ma cut up fruit to top off our breakfast. “What do you want to do for Christmas?” I flipped pancakes onto the plates and waited.

  “I don’t know. I figured I would spend it with Nick and Rae, spoiling little George rotten.” Harriet popped a blueberry in her mouth and went back to cutting an apple. “I don’t know what kind of things people do for Christmas. I always got a present from Rae and watched her open gifts, but what else do people do?”

  Ma started about the holiday traditions from her childhood. Her blue eyes sparkled talking about going to find a tree and making candy with her mother. The list was endless, but she had dropped the traditions when my father had retired from the military. It was all silly and frivolous to him, so we all just did what he asked. Once he was gone, Beck and I were adults, so traditions seemed pointless. The way Harriet watched Ma talk about old Christmas traditions made me want to revive all of it.

  Murphy strolled in and parked himself next to Harriet’s feet halfway into breakfast. She stroked his head with one hand and ate with the other, talking about making a big breakfast for us to wake up to. As soon as Ma heard that Harriet had never celebrated Christmas, it was clear that my girl would be staying through the holidays. She jumped at the offer, obviously not wanting to go home anyway. Her apartment was a complete wreck and I didn’t want her there cleaning it. Beck and I would take care of it later, and maybe it was wrong of me, but I had wrapped things up with her landlord as well. Harriet wasn’t going back.

  Ma suggested going shopping the following day and Harriet beamed at the idea of buying gifts for everyone. I knew it would take a while longer to get past my lie, but I’d prove myself to her and convince her to stay. At least I had through the holidays to convince her.

  “Did you and your brother talk last night?” Ma was always meddling in my business with Beck. She hated when her boys were fighting, but it was really not something I wanted her worrying about. I nodded, loading the dishwasher, and trying to avoid the conversation further.

  “He stopped by last night. Everything’s fine, Ma.”

  “Well, after all the mess with that awful Penny, I don’t want any issues. Beck better behave himself or he’ll be out on his ass.” Ma patted Harriet’s hand, smiling warmly. I could read my mother’s mind, screaming that she wants grandchildren, wanted at least one kid to settle down so she didn’t have to worry so much. As badly as she wanted them, I had no desire for any kids and while I was all about Harriet staying, anything more would have to wait. After my disaster of a childhood, I was in no place to be a father, and I needed time with Harriet alone. I was snapped back at the mention of Penny directed at Harriet, and gave Ma a glare. “I hate seeing the boys fight, especially over a woman.”

  “I can imagine twin boys would fight over anything and everything.” Harriet was speaking to Ma, but staring at me. Her soft brown eyes told me she was trying to ease the tension. Her distraction worked and Ma started on how we fought from day one, how opposite we were as children, and how our childhood left her feeling more like a referee than a mother. Harriet listened to the stories of Beck and I as mean little boys, fighting and getting in trouble at every turn until Ma decided to go watch her shows. My girl slid off the stool and padded barefoot to where I was propped against the counter, leaning against me and lightly kissing my chin. Yeah, she’s not going anywhere.

  My eye cracked open to let in far too much light and I closed it again. The room was dim, but then I realized what had woken me up. Harriet’s warm lips were moving from one side of my neck to the other along the collar of my t-shirt. It had been an eternity since we had been together, at least it felt like it. It was only a little more than a week, but with a head injury, I had ignored her innuendos and suffered through painful erections sleeping next to her each night. There was no ignoring her nails lightly raking down my arm or the nips along my neck. Until then all of her suggestions had been innocent, a lingering kiss or a heated look. Harriet’s leg moved up and she draped it over my hip. There would be no denying this morning.

  “Good morning,” I whispered against her forehead, kissing down her nose to those amazing lips.

  “Merry Christmas,” Harriet corrected me, sliding her arms around my neck to get closer. My hands wandered up her thigh and dug into her hip. A soft whimper escaped her lips and found its way to mine. My entire body responded and the need I felt intensified. I forced myself to wait until she healed, but the lust was about to take over all rational thought. It had been far too long since I felt her under me, heard her whisper my name, and completely owned her.

  Harriet stripped out of her shirt and immediately tugged on the hem of mine. My girl did not have to ask me twice. I took care of the shirt and my boxers. I learned quickly that Harriet hardly ever wore underwear of any variety and I loved it. Harriet instantly smoothed her palm over my scar and my jaw clenched. As badly as I wanted her, the knowledge of her seeing how damaged I was, was like an ice bath. Her body slid down mine, kissing as she went, tracing the edge of my burn. I tried to focus, but the reminder of my flaw being in my face and hers was too much. I lightly pushed back, unable to take the attention any longer.

  “Please.” One word uttered against my skin and the hum of desire was all over me again. Her mouth was resting on my stomach and my dick was pressed into her chest. Harriet’s descent continued and I was a goner when her lips met the tip of my cock. I groaned and my head hit the pillows. Her tongue made long, slow strokes from my balls up the sensitive underside before those gorgeous lips sucked me in. My hand instantly went to the back of her hair, guiding her up and down, and holding her hair. The only thing I could do was lie there with my eyes closed. Fucking Harriet was incredible, but her mouth on my dick was a religious experience. Both hands ended up in her hair and I softly tugged her head back until her lips left me. The loss of her mouth was painful, but I needed to be inside her, and with her sucking my cock, it would have been over far too soon.

  “I need you.” My words sounded strained. Harriet smirked, red faced, and moved up to kiss me. I rolled us over, nudged her thighs apart and thrust in with no warning. We had gotten to the part where I was uncontrollable. I caught her moan in my m
outh, kissing her and setting a punishing pace. It had been days and I wasn’t going to last long with her breathy moans in my ear. The slight pain of her nails in my shoulder blades told me she was just as needy as I was. A phone buzzed across the room, but we both ignored it, too far gone to care. I slammed into her, grunting like an animal, and watching the bliss on her face.

  “Oh, god, Briggs.” Harriet threw her head back into the pillows, arching under me and biting her bottom lip. Damn, it was beautiful. Her body clenching around me sent me into my own release. I came hard and fast, growling, and fisting the sheets on either side of her head until the pleasure rolling through me slowed.

  “You’re too perfect,” I panted the words, lowering myself back onto the bed, and collapsing once I wasn’t in a position to crush her. Harriet rubbed her nose along mine, kissing me softly, and letting me hold her. “Merry Christmas to me.”

  Harriet giggled, pushing off me and disappearing into the bathroom. The shower water turned on and I snagged her phone from the dresser before following her. I knew she didn’t have dizzy spells anymore but standing in the bathroom and talking to her had become our thing. I would sit on the sink and we would exchange random, useless knowledge. The girl was full of pointless facts. I had spent the whole week trying to decide how to ask her to stay, but nothing I came up with seemed like the right words. So, I just kept to meaningless chats.

  “Carmen called again.” I knew the subject would upset her, but her worthless sister had been calling for a week straight. Harriet had grudgingly rehashed the events of her sister leaving and not returning for her mother’s death. She didn’t want to discuss it, but when the fourth call happened, I insisted. After years of avoiding familial responsibility, Carmen suddenly wanted back in Harriet’s life. Her sister made my brother look like a dream.

  “I don’t care.” She could say that all day long, but I knew better. The pain her sister had caused ran deep even if Harriet didn’t admit it. The water stopped and Harriet stepped out wrapped in one of my towels. She truly couldn’t have been more beautiful and my dick twitched in appreciation. I didn’t bother hiding my stares while she dragged a brush through her damp hair and eyed me in the mirror. “I want to think she only wants to wish me a Merry Christmas, but that can’t be it. Carmen wants something, but I’m not giving her anything, including my time.”

  Beck and I fought. There was a lot of pent-up anger on both ends, but if he ever shut me out, it would be rough. “Well, hurry up. We need to make breakfast.” I kissed her forehead and went to change. I was surprising Harriet with company. A lot of company. I had also gotten up after I knew she was asleep to decorate and may have gone overboard. No, I definitely went overboard. My girl had waited twenty-five years for Christmas, so she was getting it all.

  The look on her gorgeous face when she saw the stair rail made the lack of sleep worth it. It wasn’t perfect, but the white lights and green garland twisted all the way down to the first floor. Her fingers skimmed the lights all the way down as she hurried toward the first floor. I trailed behind her, not wanting to miss a moment. It was still too early for Ma and Beck to be up, if he even came home, so I got to enjoy every second of Harriet by myself. I made it down just in time for her to see the mistletoe hanging in the doorway to the living room and the white paper snowflakes strung everywhere. The fireplace was still hanging on to just enough embers to stoke into another fire and presents were heaped under the tree.

  Harriet was standing perfectly still in the threshold of the living room with her hands over her mouth. Long dark locks hung down her back and the green top made her skin glow. My arms wound around her waist and I pulled her back into my chest.

  “You’ve been busy,” Harriet whispered, lacing her fingers with mine. I rested my chin on her shoulder, dropping next to her ear.

  “Very. Do you like it?” I couldn’t help but trail kisses down her neck to her shoulder, and she shuddered. “I want you to stay.” Harriet spun to face me, resting her hands on the back of my neck. She nibbled her bottom lip, and shook her head, “Harriet, you can’t go back there.” It was more than that, but I was playing the safety card. She couldn’t argue with that.

  “I won’t go back, but I can’t stay here. I’ll find a place right after Christmas.” Harriet stood on her toes to kiss me, “This is wonderful, thank you, Briggs. The house looks beautiful.” She looked around again but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I had to get her to stay because her saying she wouldn’t was like a knife to my gut. I couldn’t sleep without her again, and didn’t want to try. A month of Harriet and I was hooked.

  “You found a place, here, with me.”

  “Briggs, I can’t move in here, not permanently. It was nice of you to let me stay, but I’m not going to impose that way.” Harriet kissed my chin and left me standing in the doorway, making her way to the kitchen. I rubbed my hand down my face and moved to rebuild the fire. Talk about crushing a guy. Maybe Harriet didn’t understand how I felt about her. Maybe she wasn’t as serious about me or she didn’t understand what I was wanting, needing. I needed Harriet, forever.

  I found Harriet in the kitchen, digging breakfast foods out of the fridge. I wordlessly went to help her, clicking the oven on to preheat, and pulling out the bananas for her to fry with cinnamon. Even though she didn’t eat it, Harriet made bacon and eggs and a quiche with a million vegetables in it and cinnamon fried bananas. The house smelled amazing, breakfast and the fireplace mixed with the faint scent of pine to create a smell distinctly like Christmas.

  Harriet settled on a stool and I slid between her knees. “Are you mad?” She asked me that a lot, almost on a daily basis. It was like the girl couldn’t stand the idea of someone being angry with her, especially me. I shook my head and kissed her forehead. Disappointed, yes. Mad, no. I moved my lips from her forehead to her nose, then her mouth. Harriet tangled her fingers in the fabric of my shirt, inching my hips closer. The heat between us started getting the best of me, like it always did, and I gripped her hair to tip her head back. A breathy sigh left her when I dragged my tongue up her throat to her lips. I would never have enough of her. I knew it the second I laid eyes on Harriet Wolfe that nothing would sate the desire for her. Our mouths met with desperation, tongues dancing, and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. How do you tell a woman that you need her to survive? If Harriet truly didn’t stay, I couldn’t stay either. My place was with her, so where she went, I would follow.

  A noise came from the hall and Harriet jumped back with a yelp, nearly tumbling backward off the stool. My arm caught her by the waist and I laughed at the look on Ma’s face. My mother’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Merry Christmas, but don’t stop on my account. You know I’m not getting any younger and I want grandbabies. I’ll go back to bed if you need privacy.” My laugh stopped and Harriet’s started. While her laugh made my whole day, the thought of kids was not my idea of funny. Harriet’s head hit my chest and her shoulders shook she was laughing so hard. “Now why is that funny, Missy?” Ma kissed Harriet on the cheek and then me.

  “I’m sorry, Faye, but you are hilarious.” My girl hopped down and approached my mother, pulling her into a tight hug. “Merry Christmas. Thank you for letting me stay though the holidays.” Ma closed her eyes, hugging Harriet tighter and I knew I had to get Harriet to move in. Ma would miss her as much as I did, maybe more. The two of them had spent the whole week planning Christmas meals and shopping like maniacs.

  “You say it like you’re leaving. You better not be thinking about going back to that awful apartment. It’s not safe even if they did catch that terrible man. What would Briggs do without you here?” Ma held Harriet at arm’s length, crinkling her brow. If it took a guilt trip from my mother to keep Harriet in my house, so be it. I wasn’t above getting on my knees to beg, either.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Harriet

  My eyes moved between the woman holding my arms and the man behind her. They wanted me to stay. Briggs had said it,
and Faye had certainly implied it. Granted, they were just concerned for my safety, but the fact that neither of them had asked me to leave yet spoke volumes. Before I could answer there was a knock on the door and the oven timer chimed. I went for the oven while Briggs left for the door, leaving our conversation very unfinished. I felt Faye’s gaze as I got everything together for breakfast. Beck probably forgot his keys after sleeping over at some girl’s house the night before. He had texted Briggs confirming he would be back for breakfast and to exchange gifts, though. I turned with the quiche just in time to see Cori and Axel walk it, and I set the dish down just in time to catch Axel mid leap and propped her on my hip.

  “What are you doing here?” I hugged Cori with one arm, balancing the little girl in the other.

  “We came for breakfast, and before you say there isn’t enough food, I made tofu scramble.” Cori kissed my cheek. “When Briggs said it was your first Christmas, we settled on lunch with my parents so we could come celebrate with you for breakfast.”

  Axel cupped her hands over my ear and whispered loudly, “Mommy and me got you paint and a pretty necklace, but I’m not supposed to tell.” Cori shook her head and greeted Faye while I promised Ax not to tell on her. Nick, Rae, and George came in carrying a dish and Jovie’s family was right behind them. Lydia and Jacob were last, followed by Oliver carrying little Cohen. I leaned back into the counter and just watched. Everyone brought a dish and Briggs helped set up a buffet on the island. Beck strolled in and made his way to me, greeting people as he went. He acted almost human.

  “Merry Christmas.” Beck held a small box out to me. I looked from him to the box before taking it and opening it slowly. “It doesn’t bite, open it.” The bracelet was gorgeous. “So, I’m a royal asshole, but I come in peace. My brother loves you so I’m hoping there are no hard feelings, and we can move past what a jerk I was. Each of the charms means something, so don’t accuse me of a generic gift.” Beck bumped my shoulder. I wanted to study the charms he mentioned, but I was stuck on his words.