Resist (London)

by Breeze, Danielle

  Oh god.

  I felt sick to the stomach, I swallowed repeatedly to prevent the tears that had formed in my eyes from falling but my mouth was dry so nothing worked. I attempted to speak, I managed, but it was barely more than a broken whisper.

  “Um, Tay Tay, I’m so so sorry, I’ll never leave you alone again I promise. Never ever again, god when I think about what could have happened to you. Oh please forgive me babe, please...you know I can’t deal with it when you’re mad at me. I love you and it will never ever ever happen again.”

  A loud sob tore from my throat and I squeezed my eyes together to shut out everything around me. I felt the air around me shift and the next thing I knew, her body collided with mine and she wrapped her arms around me, tight.

  She put her mouth to my ear and whispered,

  “You and me babe, always you and me. I’d forgive you the world I swear. I’m okay, nothing happened to me, could have happened to anyone, I knew to be more careful. I love you too, forever and always yeah?”

  She kept whispering reassuring words in my ear until my breathing evened out and I whispered back “Forever and always chick”.

  It’s co-dependency gone mad. It’s difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t been where we’ve been.

  She’s my rock. Completely and totally. She saved me. In every way that you could possibly imagine, she’s magic. She’s the best person I’ve ever met...by a mile.

  I adore everything about her, if we were gay, I swear she’d be mine, that’s literally how much I love her. We’ve hit rock-bottom and climbed back up again together. Helping her deal with the death of her parents sealed it for us. We were close anyway, but I was fifteen when her parents were killed, and that’s a heavy thing for any child to deal with. She was eighteen at the time, but she was no more of an adult than I was.

  Thing’s didn’t get any better for a long time, in fact they got worse first. When I had my issues at home and moved out, I didn’t go to her straight away, I went to Jase because I didn’t want to put extra pressure on Taylor seeing as she already had enough on her mind. I wasn’t sure which was worse at the time, living with my parents, or living with Jase’s parents. I was miserable, truly miserable. Taylor saw it too. She literally turned up on the doorstep, demanded I pack my bags and move to hers.

  Done.

  It was horrible; don’t get me wrong, her shit, my shit...the whole fucked up lot of it. But we got something beautiful out of it I’d say...We’re unbreakable.

  So yeah, it’s safe to say the thought of anything happening to her filled me with dread. She didn’t seem upset though.

  Angry? Yeah.

  But not upset.

  I know it sounds selfish, and a little fucked-up to be honest, but I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to immerse myself in the time I had with Mason and ignore the growing regret I felt deep in my heart about leaving Taylor on her own the previous night. So I touched her arm lightly and whispered in her ear.

  Sex right then, was my denial, my way to hide.

  “Babe, um...would you um...mind if...like, I stayed here for a while? I can get Mase to drop me off at yours later if you want? Is that ok?”

  I watched the shadows roll behind her eyes, we both knew this wouldn’t be the last of this because I don’t let things go easily and I really was devastated. I just chose to deal with it in the only way I knew how. Sex.

  I edged towards Mason, who was then resting a hip against the counter looking over at me with a furrowed brow. I knew he was probably confused at what he’d just witnessed, with the whole breakdown, but I’d never explain it to him.

  Never.

  I leaned into his side and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. It felt good...too good. I tensed slightly, but then my eyes bugged out of my head and my mouth dropped open when I watched Jackson grab Taylor’s hand and she let him!

  I wanted to jump up and down and ‘woop’ out loud because YES! It was happening! Taylor doesn’t play with emotions...which is why Jase started calling her Ice...and I copied him. She shut down when her parents died and would never let anyone else in at all. In reality, me and Jase were probably only there because we were already in...partially.

  But either way, she’s beautiful, like really really stunning, but she hadn’t had a boyfriend, or even responded to any male attention in like...years. Jackson was already different for her, I could feel it in my bones.

  Woop!

  I did feel a small pang of jealousy though, but I buried it, deep down with all the other bullshit that I refused to deal with, and brought my attention back to the matter at hand.

  Chapter Three

  Harper

  Mason was watching me intently. His eyes were blazing with heat and intensity so my skin instantly warmed under his gaze. I pushed my front flush against his and his hands uncurled from the counter to grip my ass, squeezed it, hard, pulling me tighter against him. He lifted me slightly, so I took his hint and jumped up, wrapping my legs around him, rubbing myself against his dick at the same time.

  He was hard against me and I tried to suppress the shudder that wracked my whole body, but failed. He smirked at my reaction, but I didn’t care, I let him be cocky...why shouldn’t he? He really was that good.

  He took two strides forward, carrying me across the kitchen and resting me on the island. He didn’t move his hands from my ass though and I didn’t loosen my hold. No.

  I pulled his face to mine and licked along his bottom lip. He groaned and opened his mouth, allowing me access. It was hot...scorching even. Then I got the growl...fuck...that growl, I swear it was my undoing.

  I ground myself against him harder, seeking relief from the ache that was growing between my legs, nothing worked though, I needed him inside me. I’d never, not ever, been so needy. I liked sex, no, I loved sex. It was my release, my escape, my huge fuck-you to my parents!

  (Wrong I know, associating sex with your parents, but I knew they’d hate everything about who I’d become, so I embraced it. I loved it!)

  But with Mason, it was like I needed it. He played my body like he’d done it every day for his whole life. I’m not easy to please, I like what I like, and that’s that.

  Not with Mason though, he took me to new heights of pleasure like I’d never known. I raked my nails down his back and he made a choking noise into my mouth before letting out a guttural moan. The vibrations shot straight through me causing my nipples to harden even more and my whole body ignited.

  Out of this world!

  I pulled back to take a breath, then leant forward to the side slightly, ran my tongue along the edge of his ear and whispered breathlessly, “I need you...now.”

  He stilled for second, then reacted. He pulled me off the island, placed me on my feet and literally dragged me back to his room. I would have giggled, if I could, it was funny, but I was too turned-on to do anything more than pant.

  He pulled us into his room, kicked the door shut behind us and gave me a gentle shove, causing me to land on my back, sprawled across his bed. It still smelt like us, dirty, sexy, gorgeous. I didn’t manage to appreciate it for long though, because he was on me. He forced my thighs apart and covered my whole body with his. I bent my knees out to the side giving him the access he wanted.

  He framed my face with his hands and gave me a slow, gentle, seductive kiss, it was beautiful, mesmerising, hypnotising. So hypnotising in fact, I almost forgot what I was supposed to be there for. I wasn’t a soft, slow, seductive sort of girl. I was in it for the end-game. I didn’t do sweet and nice. Fuck that! I wanted, hot, hard, fast...

  I wanted to fuck.

  I pushed him off me, and if I’d have taken the time to really look at him, I’d have appreciated the adorably cute confused look he was wearing, but I didn’t.

  I straddled him, ran my hands down his chest, giving his nipples a little scrape with my nails on the way down, causing him to suck in a breath between his clenched teeth.

  “Fuck, don’t play me Harper, no teas
ing.” His words were rough and held an edge, like he really was holding on by a thread. Good.

  I thought he’d let me continue. He didn’t.

  He twisted us again, so I was back underneath him, he pushed his hands up my sides, taking his t-shirt with them and pulled it over my head. I lay naked beneath him, I didn’t care, I had nothing to hide, I wasn’t perfect, my hips were too wide and my stomach wasn’t exactly ‘toned’, but no one’s perfect, and his eyes darkened as he spent time slowly running them down my body, so I knew he didn’t care either.

  His fingers were edging, so softly, along my skin and when they reached my sides, I couldn’t hold in the giggle that erupted from my mouth. He stopped for a moment and glanced up at me, tensing his fingers at the same time.

  “It doesn’t do a lot for a guys ego when you giggle at a time like this Sunshine!”

  Then he made it worse.

  He grinned a wicked grin, then started tickling me for real. I screeched and kicked my legs but he dodged them and straddled my hips continuing his torture.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please stop Mason, please!”

  He stopped suddenly and we were both panting even harder.

  “Did you just snort?”

  “No!” I exclaimed, face flaming with embarrassment.

  So I’m ticklish. Apparently.

  He didn’t respond, knowing I was lying. He just lowered his head and kissed me again. I decided that I really could get lost in his kisses. Even though it was morning, he didn’t have morning breath, no, that didn’t happen to Mason. He tasted fresh, and warm. He used the perfect amount of tongue to make my insides quiver and I savoured each and every kiss.

  He raised his head again, narrowed his eyes slightly, and then ruined the entire moment.

  “I want to taste you” He whispered.

  Oh fuck.

  Um, no! That was not going to happen.

  I stilled. Thought of different ways I could deal with his words, but as he started making his way down my body, I realised I didn’t have to deal with it. Fuck him.

  I did what I always did. I panicked.

  “Get off me.” I demanded.

  He was already moving down my body but he stopped with his face just inches from my hips and frowned up at me. He didn’t get off me though so I repeated myself.

  “Get off me”

  “What the fuck?!” He responded, sounding bemused. He raised himself up on his arms and looked down at me.

  I didn’t answer, I rolled to my side, forced myself out from underneath him, got up and started getting dressed. I pulled on my panties and grabbed my bra and dress. As I was doing up the clasp of my bra, I noticed he was just sat on the edge of his bed, still hard, still frowning at me. I ignored him, and he didn’t say a word, it was like he was frozen. I wouldn’t give him an explanation anyway so it was good that he appeared to be lost for words.

  Stupid fucker, trying to take over, well at least he learnt his lesson...or so I thought.

  Never assume, Harper.

  Smoothing my dress over my hips, I turned to open the bedroom but didn’t get very far when he put his hands on door, either side of my head and I was caged in by his arms from behind. I could feel his breath on my neck and it caused my skin to break out in goose-bumps.

  Oh no!

  He leaned in to me, and I could feel him still hard against my ass but I forced myself to relax.

  How dare he?!

  “You need to move, I’m goin’ home now.” I declared, in a voice that was nowhere near as strong as I wanted it to be.

  “You wanna tell me what the fuck just went on, Sunshine?” He asked, although it wasn’t exactly a question, more of a demand.

  “Not really, I’d really rather just go home.” I stated.

  “Yeah? Well that’s not gonna happen.”

  I forced out a sarcastic laugh and replied. “Yeah? And that’s your decision to make...how? You can’t just keep me here!” I declared.

  “I can and I am. You were wet, you were panting, primed...ready...then you’re dressed and walking out the door? What the fuck?”

  I growled in frustration, he didn’t move his arms, but I turned to face him anyway.

  Bad move...wrong move...ahh fuck!

  He was still naked...totally naked. My eyes drifted down his body of their own accord, I didn’t want them too, nope, I didn’t want to see his smooth chest, with his perfect washboard abs. It wasn’t right. It was the sort of body I had only ever seen on TV, or read about in books. A body most men would kill to have. It really should have been crime, to be as good-looking as he was. I had to press my thighs together to ease the ache that still lingered. His skin was a gorgeous mocha colour and I knew he must have worked out often because he had a defined ‘V’ that I just wanted to lick.

  Damn. So hot.

  One look and my libido shot through the roof, I needed to escape.

  I know it’s not normal!

  But guys, they need putting in their place once in a while. I’m not exactly saying that I’m a feminist, I wouldn’t go that far, but there was just nothing that I could use against him! Too fucking gorgeous.

  And oh shit...his dick was screaming at me, actually screaming at me... ‘Look at me Harper, look at me! Touch me, even just a little bit... you know you want to!’

  I did want to.

  I wanted to look. I wanted to touch.

  I wouldn’t though, never...it just wouldn’t happen, except...well, it did.

  “I’m finding it hard to believe that you really wanna leave this room Sunshine, when you can’t seem to take your eyes off my dick.”

  Shit! Caught!

  I raised my eyes to his and noted that one corner of his lips twitched like he was trying to suppress a smile.

  Dickhead.

  “What do you want me to say Mason? I was into it, then I wasn’t.” I lied, then patted him on the cheek, purposely trying to be condescending and added, “You’ll be fine babe, I’m sure your left hand’s gettin’ lonely anyway yeah?”

  It was harsh, it was a pure lie, but I wasn’t going to let him boss me around...and in all honesty, I also found myself pretty funny!

  He didn’t seem to agree though.

  He squeezed my hand, hard enough that I braced for pain, but not actually hard enough to cause it and pulled me against him. My dress was short...slutty-short. If I bent over, you could easily see my ass, so being as his dick was still begging for attention in front of me, the action of being pulled against him was wrong. So wrong in fact, it made me want to jump him.

  God it was such a mess, fucking with my head. I wanted him, I didn’t want him, I wanted him again, I didn’t want him again.

  Fucked...up.

  Everything about it. Completely fucked up. My body should not react like that to any male...or any person at all. It’s my body. I know my own mind, it’s the one thing I’m always 100% certain of.

  Damn him.

  “Don’t play with me Sunshine. It’s written all over your face that you’re just as into this as I am. So I’ll ask again. What the fuck?” He rumbled.

  I just stared up at him, lips parted, breaths coming short and fast. I’d never been forced to respond before. Right then and there, I didn’t have a fucking choice.

  “I don’t want you to taste me.” I whispered.

  He frowned down at me. So I waited, a second, two, five...It was infuriating. It wasn’t that hard to understand.

  Was it?

  Then he spoke, confusing me even more.

  “Ok, so I won’t do it then. It’s not that big of a deal Harper. I will never have understand women. Just say it in future yeah? Instead of wasting time putting all your clothes back on? Honestly Sunshine, I do not know what that was all about, but can you let it go now?”

  That’s it?!

  It was then my turn to frown at him without speaking.

  Could it really be that easy? Just...’so I won’t do it then’?

  He seemed to think so! S
o I thought...well, fuck it!

  If he still wanted it, and I definitely wanted it and there were no boundaries being crossed, then yeah, I was definitely finishing what we started.

  This wasn’t like the night before though. It was like we were both fighting for control. I was scratching, he was biting, it was animalistic. It was...Amazing.

  It might be confusing to you, hell, most the time it’s confusing to me, but I have to be in control. I have to call the shots.

  I definitely don’t give head and I don’t want to receive it either. Too intimate, too...I don’t know, just too much. It’s a rule. So I stick to it.

  So yeah he fucked me again, hard. It was sexy, it was hot. But I couldn’t help but feel like he was holding back. Maybe my fucked up little outburst scared him a bit. I wouldn’t be surprised.

  I didn’t talk to him about it though. Talking is for couples, not for people who are having a random hook-up. Anyway, I was still getting off, so I didn’t actually care if he was holding back.

  Countless orgasms later, fully-sated, breathless and tender. I. Was. Done! I rolled away from his hold, sat on the edge of the bed and starting dressing.

  “Where you goin’?” He asked and I froze.

  Surely that was obvious?

  “Um, I’m going home?” I replied. It wasn’t supposed to be a question, I was really just telling him I was going home. Definitely sounded like a question though. Damn.

  He knifed up from the bed so quickly, I jumped, slipped, and landed on my ass, panties half way up my legs, on the floor.

  “What the fuck?!” I exclaimed.

  He chuckled under his breath, which made me want to hit him. I really didn’t find anything funny.

  Then he said, “I don’t want you to go anywhere yet. I’m still not finished with you.”

  I didn’t respond. I was still sat with my panties up to my knees, half sprawled on the floor, so he spoke again. “Looks to me like your still planning on leaving. I don’t want you to.”

  “Sorry pretty boy, I’m leaving now. You forced me to stay once, not happening again.”

  “I could make you stay again.”

  “You’re wrong. I’m done now, I...” I didn’t get to finish my sentence.