Resist (London)

by Breeze, Danielle

  Dickhead.

  “Sunshine, I got stuff to do, and I wanna take you with me.” He informed me, though I was pretty sure...no, I was 100% sure, I didn’t care about the stuff he had to do, so I responded sarcastically.

  “You do? Funny, I didn’t realise I had to do what you wanted.”

  He ignored my sarcasm. Completely. But his answer at least gave me time to get myself off the floor and cover myself up.

  “Yep. It’s gone one o’clock, I gotta go take a drive, then we’re going to get something to eat, talk shit for a bit, then we’re coming straight back here to do that all over again.” He declared.

  I shook my head, trying to comprehend his words. I didn’t do bossy. I was the bossy one. I make the decisions, always. Rule: Never let anyone else tell you what to do. Ever. Following my own rule, I replied.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you! I’m getting dressed, and I’m walking home. I had a great time though, thanks! See you around yeah?”

  He barked out a laugh and asked me if ‘that usually worked’.

  If what usually worked?

  It confused me. I honestly had no clue what he was talking about. So I asked him. His response floored me.

  “The cold bitch act? The ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything’ act? The ‘I’m a tough girl’ act? Whatever you want to call it.”

  Ok, so it floored me because, one, I’m not cold, but I guess I am kind of a bitch! Two, I really don’t give a fuck about most things and three, I really am a tough girl! There was no acting involved. I was flummoxed. What can you say when someone has just accused you of being everything you actually are, like it’s a bad thing?

  I put one hand on my hip, leant into it, tilted my head and studied him. I couldn’t figure out why he kept testing me. One-night stands didn’t usually even want to talk afterwards...not that I ever gave them chance to!

  Everything about him was different, and it bothered me. Why couldn’t he have just let me leave and get on with his own damn life? That’s what normally happens, well, most the time.

  “None of that is an act pretty-boy! I don’t know who you thought you met last night, but trying to tell me what to do? No, that shit won’t work with me. I’m walking out of here in about thirty seconds, and I’ve changed my mind, maybe we won’t see each other around after all...think I’ll probably just avoid you.”

  “Not going to happen.” He replied immediately.

  Argh, men!

  “What is your problem? Just let me leave!” My voice was rising slightly, so I took a deep breath to calm the growing annoyance.

  Rule: Never let someone else’s actions affect yours.

  So I failed at that, clearly, but I could do damage control. So before he could answer, I spoke again.

  “Look Mason, like I said, last night and this morning, it was good, really good. But I don’t know what you think is happening here, it’s just sex. I’m not going out ‘for a drive’ with you, I’m not going to have something to eat with you, I’m not going to ‘talk shit’ with you...and I’m not coming back here again. Ever. Ok?”

  He stared at me intently again and I held an internal battle over whether I should just leave him to his thoughts, or push him for an answer. I thought that if I just left, didn’t give him chance to answer, maybe I could get out of there before he snapped out of it.

  Before I could make my decision, his eyes became focused again but he definitely didn’t do what I expected him to. He stood up, right in front of me, kissed my forehead and spoke in a soft tone.

  “If that’s what you want Sunshine, then that’s what you’ll get. I’ll leave my number on the desk, you change your mind, or you just wanna chat for the sake of it, you call me yeah?”

  He didn’t wait for me to answer, he just pulled on his loose fitting shorts, no underwear, and left the room. I focused on the door, trying to figure out why he gave up so easily. He seemed so determined before. Strange.

  I didn’t spend too long thinking about it though, I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my clutch bag off the desk, then hesitated when I saw the card with his number on, right next to my bag. I knew I wouldn’t call, well, I was fairly sure I wouldn’t. There was no point in taking it...

  I took it anyway.

  Mason

  She was an enigma, I know I already said it, but I couldn’t figure her out at all. I don’t make a habit of taking random girls home, but there was just something about her, and yeah, you’re god damn right it was worth it.

  She was gorgeous, all long legs, wide hips, small waist...fuck yeah she was gorgeous, but it wasn’t that. She had attitude, it was written all over her. Not get-in-your-face attitude like her friend.

  No.

  This was...different somehow. Like she actually really didn’t give a fuck about anything, like the world should be grateful she was even in it. To be honest, one look at her, and I sort of agreed with her!

  That afternoon bothered me though. The whole scene when she freaked out bothered me, the fact that she didn’t even want to come for a drive, to eat, to spend time with me, that bothered me too. I’m a good looking guy. I know that. It’s not arrogance, because it’s true. Good genes, about the only good thing I got from my shithead parents.

  I guess that’s a good thing! But it also made me even more confused.

  Why wouldn’t she want to spend time with me? I’m good-looking, I play sports so I’m fit, I’ve got money, I’m smart...yeah, I’ve got it all!

  Ok, that might be slightly arrogant, but I’m not lying!

  I wanted her though. No matter what she said. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I knocked on my brother’s door, but didn’t wait for a response before I waltzed in.

  “Hey bro, you ready to go?” I asked. He was lying on his bed, with his arms resting behind his head, but he startled when I spoke, as if he hadn’t even heard me knock, or open the door. But then he nodded once and got up.

  We’re close, me and Ruben. Well, me and both my brothers are close, but Ruben and I have an extra strength, a bond forged from going through a shit past, together.

  My history doesn’t bother me. It probably should, but my life started when I was fifteen and my older brother Jackson saved my life. None of that before shit matters. I am who I am because of him, and if I could, well I probably can, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to him.

  “Where did you go? Looked like you were on another planet!” I snapped back to reality when I heard Ruben’s voice.

  “Sorry bro, miles away.”

  We got in my car and I pulled out of the driveway before realising I actually didn’t know where we were going or why he needed a lift.

  “Um, Rube, you should probably tell me where I’m taking you.” I asked.

  “Wildlands.” He replied. Just one word. He wasn’t a big talker anyway, but I expected more than that! ‘Wildlands’ was a theme park about twenty miles from our house, it was nothing great, pretty small and old really. I couldn’t think of a single reason he’d be going there.

  “Okay...” I said slowly... “Why are you going there and why am I taking you? You know you have your own car right?”

  He didn’t even blink, didn’t respond to my sarcasm, just answered woodenly.

  “We’re going there because I want to and you’re taking me because I didn’t want to drive there.”

  “Fuck man, that isn’t an answer and you know it. What’s with the secrets? You never hide shit from me.”

  It stung a little. I’m man enough to be honest. I didn’t like secrets between us, and I knew something wasn’t right. He flinched at my accusation, he was with me, he knew we didn’t keep secrets. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he shifted slightly in his seat, nervous almost. Then he sighed, but answered.

  “Look, I know okay? Just...I’ll tell you soon I promise, just...not yet okay?”

  I liked that even less, but I’d give him what he wanted.

  “Okay I won’t ask again, but just one thing. Y
ou’re not like, in any trouble or anything are you? You’re okay right?”

  “Of course I’m okay. No I’m not in trouble. To be honest, you should know me better than to ask that.”

  He was right, I should have. He’s probably the most responsible twenty year old I’ve ever met. And so damn smart it’s scary. Guy should belong to Mensa or some shit. He’s a whizz at literally everything he does.

  “Alright yeah I know. But I had to ask.”

  He shrugged like it wasn’t important and turned the music up. Conversation was over after that, clearly!

  As I pulled up in the car park of Wildlands, I turned off the engine, and turned in my seat to face him.

  “Seeing as I did you a favour, and you’re keeping secrets from me...” I started.

  He sighed immediately and I fought a smile. He was so full of shit, he fuckin’ thrived on doing shit for other people!

  “Go on then, what do you want me to do now?” He asked.

  “I need a number.”

  “Who’s number?”

  “Harper’s” I replied.

  He frowned then looked up as if he was trying to recall something.

  “Harper? The girl you were with this morning?”

  “That’s the one.” I answered.

  “For real? You didn’t even get her number?” He asked incredulously.

  See! Told you it was confusing!

  “No shit bro! She didn’t leave her number, wouldn’t come out with me today...I don’t even know if she took my number! I left her to it.” I told him and he chuckled under his breath.

  Yeah go ahead, laugh it up brother.

  “Oh how the tables have turned! Normally you don’t give most girls the time of day at all! How’s it feel when the shoe’s on the other foot Mase?”

  “Shut the fuck up! You don’t bother with them either! She’s different anyway – I’ll get her. You know I will. So can you get me her number or what?”

  “Last name?” He asked.

  “I...um...I don’t know it.”

  “Ha! You didn’t even get her last name? Harsh Mase, really harsh! Ok well, what do you know about her that’ll help me find her number?”

  “Ahh...not a lot? She’s twenty, she’s a student and she lives with some gay guy in those shit student apartments on the way to Chelsea...oh and her mate’s called Taylor Corsi...but I don’t know if that will help.”

  Shit! That’s really all I knew!

  “Hmm...” He murmured, thinking it through... “I’m not making any promises bro, but I’ll ask around and I’ll see what I can do.”

  I smiled, he wouldn’t make any promises, but I knew he could do it. Told you.

  So. Damn. Smart.

  “Thanks Rube.”

  He got out. I drove home.

  Chapter Four

  Harper

  “Want a foot massage?” Jase asked.

  I moaned at just the thought of it. On one hand it sounded amazing...on the other? I honestly didn’t think I could stand anything touching them.

  Two days, it was two whole days later, and my feet were still killing. The skin was still red, and the blisters still raw. Swear, when I said I was walking home, I don’t think I understood the implications of a three mile walk, in four inch strappy heels, when it was pouring with rain, else I wouldn’t have suggested it.

  Pain like nothing else!

  I gave up after the first mile or so and walked the rest of the way bare foot...in London, yeah it was not safe. I was pretty sure there was still glass embedded in my skin. I probably should have had a tetanus injection or something, I didn’t though. I hate hospitals. No specific reason, I just hate them!

  I had a head cold too. My nose was stuffy, my chest ached, my head was pounding. I felt shit.

  Serves me right I guess. But I didn’t have to like it.

  So Jase was looking after me. I’m not a good patient, he’s the only person who can bare to be around me when I’m sick. He’s a really good nurse though!

  “Urgh, no thanks, I’m pretty sure I’d cry if you came near them. Can’t you make the pain go away?” I stuck out my bottom lip and pleaded at him with my eyes.

  He laughed. “No can do babe. I don’t have any sympathy for ya with that! You did this to yourself!”

  “I did not!”

  He just raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

  Ok, so technically I did. I still didn’t want it thrown in my face.

  “Fine, but pretty, pretty please can you go make me some chicken soup, grab me a blanket and stick ‘50 first dates’ in the DVD player?”

  He looked at the ceiling and shook his head, but did what I asked. He loves me!

  “What would you do without me huh? You look like shit, you smell awful and that hair is just disgusting! Eat your soup, and watch your film. I gotta pop out, but I’ll be back in an hour or so and I expect you to be in that bath, right?”

  “Yes, Dad.”

  I pouted and frowned at him for leaving me, but he was used to my dramatics and just laughed at me before patting my head.

  “I never wanted kids, but it really is a good job you’ve got someone around here to look after you. Ass into gear in an hour okay?”

  “Yes!”

  “Good. Later, bitch.”

  He’s right, he does look after me. We all look after each other in different ways. He’s the youngest, three months younger than me, but still twenty.

  Two hours later, I woke, still feeling groggy but when I looked at the time I cursed and stood up. Jase would likely give me a kick up the arse if I didn’t get in the bath like he said. He’s the only guy who would ever get away with telling me what to do, because I love him, and he’s probably 50% female...

  But I’d never tell him that!

  I ran myself a bath and was about to get in when I heard the door open and click shut, then a few minutes later Jase called me from the other room.

  “Yeah?” I shouted back.

  “Um, are you nearly done babe? You can’t still be in the bath, you’ve got that exam in less than hour! Are you ready?”

  Holy fuck!

  I had an exam! In less than an hour! I had completely forgotten about it! I was naked, hair not done, face not done, and it was about a twenty minute walk to the building my exam was in.

  Shit!

  I guess some people might not care that much, but my career was my life. I had wanted to work with children since I was a child myself. It was more important to me than breathing some days. I had my reasons for why it was so important to me, pretty much all of it stemmed from my parents, but I just couldn’t fuck that up.

  I wouldn’t. I had to get there.

  I ran straight out of the bathroom, ignoring my poor feet screaming in pain, not giving a damn that I was naked and Jase was there. He’d seen it all before anyway.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you remind me earlier?” I scolded him as I was rushing into my room.

  He didn’t answer. I didn’t expect him to, I suspected he would probably just roll his eyes at my outburst. It was my exam! I was surprised he even reminded me then to be honest. I knew I’d never make it on time. Even if I could walk that far with my feet in so much pain, which I couldn’t, there just wasn’t enough time.

  I wracked my brain for ideas. I didn’t have enough money for a taxi, plus taxis in London were as good as useless anyway. Taylor was at university, I knew that. Neither me nor Jase drove. I was completely fucked. If I didn’t sit that exam, I’d get an automatic fail, and seeing as it was my last year of my degree, it would just fuck up everything I’d worked for.

  “Jase!”

  “What?”

  “Can you lend me the cash for a taxi?”

  “Sorry chick, don’t get paid until next Friday.”

  Well shit. He was the only one who had a job. Taylor had money anyway. Inheritance.

  Me, I survived on student finance. Right then, it didn’t feel much like surviving.

  I was still thinking as I go
t dressed, I pulled on some red skin-tight skinny jeans that made my ass look amazing, a black vest top, and threw on a pair of black converse pumps. I reached for my bag, but grabbed the wrong side and ended up spilling the entire contents all over my floor.

  Fuck!

  I screamed and gripped my hair thinking things couldn’t possibly get any worse. Scrambling around on the floor, throwing everything back into the bag, I stopped when I found a card with a number printed on it. A number I didn’t think I’d call, but I was suddenly tempted to.

  It might not seem like that much of a big deal to some people, just sit the exam another time right? Wrong.

  Without a valid reason as to why I wasn’t there, they’d fail me.

  I have always wanted children of my own. But I want to work with them too. I wanted to work in a nursery, then I wanted to be a teacher, I went through a phase of just wanting to be a childminder, it wasn’t important. What was important, was that whatever I did, it had to involve children.

  But in the end, I was training to be a child psychologist. It just fit me. And the thought of failing at all, no, it just wasn’t good enough.

  I really do adore children, I could never really wait to have my own. That changed though.

  I didn’t have time to think about it. I grabbed my phone, dialled the number, and was actually praying that he’d answer.

  Three seconds. That’s all it took.

  “Hello?” His smooth voice came through.

  “Mason? It’s Harper. I’m after a favour. Are you busy?”

  “You’re after a favour...from me? Really?”

  Was his sarcastic response.

  Argh!

  “Yeah look, I don’t have time to talk and I know you have no reason to do this for me but I really really need a lift to University. I’ve got an exam in like twenty five minutes, my feet are fucked from walking back from your house the other day and it’s a twenty minute walk regardless. Please please if you have the time, could you take me?” I really didn’t like having to beg, but needs must.

  “I can be there in five. What’s your address?”

  I gave him my address, then we hung up. I flopped down on my bed amongst the usual piles of shit I’d left there. I’m not the tidiest person in the world! But right then, I couldn’t have cared any less!