Fated to be Mine

by Larson, Jodie

  The spell is broken as he slides his boxer briefs over his hips, blocking my view of his … assets. I blink several times, willing my higher brain function to return.

  Hello? Brain?

  Radio silence.

  It may need a few more minutes to recuperate.

  Andrew slides his jeans on, leaving the top button undone, sending another round of shocks to my heart. I’m about to stride over to him and throw him down on my bed, no sex rule be damned, when my phone begins ringing on the table next to my bed. My brow furrows when I see whose name it is across the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “Tessa, good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you,” my dad says.

  He sounds different. He sounds … happy. Happy to hear from me? I want to pinch myself to make sure that I’m not dreaming.

  “No, you didn’t wake me. I’ve been up for a while.” There’s an awkward pause between us. I wish it weren't so weird to talk to my dad. “So, what’s going on?”

  Andrew creates a pleasing distraction as I watch him get dressed. Only he could make putting socks on sexy. But my dad’s voice on the other line brings me back to the subject at hand.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to come to the house for dinner tonight.”

  Oh boy, another family fun night with my dad and Sharon. I must admit that things with my dad have been more pleasant lately, but after the stunt Sharon pulled at her birthday party I just don’t trust that she’ll hold back her opinions anymore. Apprehension shoots through my system, almost like a Botox injection, rendering me paralyzed as a million other things I’d rather do stream through my head. But he is trying and I can’t discredit him for that. It’s my own hang-ups I need to get over now. Well, mine and Sharon’s. I can only work on my end. The other part is up to her.

  I swallow harshly and nod as if he could see it. “Sure, dinner sounds good. What time would you like me there?”

  The Sunday paper rustles in the background, indicating that he’s at the breakfast table enjoying his morning coffee. It’s a very standard, typical, mundane thing to do. It’s just not how I see my dad, even though I know he is just a regular guy.

  “Does six o’clock work for you?”

  “Six works just fine. I guess I’ll see you around then.”

  “See you tonight Tessa. I’m really looking forward to it. Have a good rest of the day,” he says. There’s a hint of a smile in his voice and for the second time I’m stunned into silence this morning.

  “You too. Bye, Dad.”

  I hit end and toss the phone on my bed before sinking down next to Andrew. His fingers run through my hair as I lean my head against his shoulder. When his lips press against my forehead, I sigh and snuggle closer to his neck.

  “Dinner with your dad tonight?”

  I nod. “Yeah. Seems to be an every other weekend thing lately. I just hope to survive it.”

  Andrew doesn’t say anything. He knows I just need a moment to sort through it. It helps that Andrew already knows the situation between my dad and me. He knows how strained it is, how distant the two of us are. But the distance seems to be closing, as evident by the recent events. He seems more open to a relationship, starting with just a simple conversation and inviting me to places without any ulterior motives. The party was my first indication that perhaps he’s ready to actually be a dad to me and not out of pity or obligation. And now with this early morning invitation, we seem to be making strides in the right direction. Maybe he really does want to be in my life and vice versa.

  With one last kiss on my head, Andrew stands, bringing me with him. “Come, let me make you the best bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios you’ve ever had.”

  Andrew stayed with me until the very last minute. We cleaned and danced, lounged and read, he even walked with me down the block to do my laundry. It was the best Sunday I’ve had in a long time, even if we didn’t do anything spectacular.

  But now as we drive to go get my car from the parking ramp, my nerves start to kick in. I have the sudden urge to flee, or better yet, have Andrew take me with him so I don’t have to go to that house. Andrew must notice my discomfort because he places a gentle hand on my bouncing knee, instantly relaxing it.

  “You’ll be fine, love. I promise.”

  I marginally turn my head to look at him. “You think so?”

  He nods. “I know so. You’re stronger than you think you are Tessa. And you said so yourself, the last few weeks have been encouraging with your dad reaching out to you. I think he’s really trying to make up for his lack of parenting skills from your younger years. You should let him try at least. What’s the harm in that?”

  My lips twist to the side as I consider it. “I guess there’s no harm in letting him try to be a real dad. But honestly it’s not him that scares me. It’s Sharon.”

  Andrew cups my chin, tilting it up so I can look into his eyes. “Don’t worry about her either. Your dad will see her for who she truly is.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so. No one in their right mind would ever pick that shrew over you.”

  He leans forward, pressing his lips against mine as we stay seated in the front seats of his rental car. My body relaxes, allowing Andrew to soothe my frayed nerves. I’m not sure what it is about Andrew that gives me a calming effect so effortlessly, but I love it.

  We pull away and my eyes follow Andrew as he exits the car to open the door for me. As I slide out of the front seat, I’m instantly pulled into him as he ravishes my mouth while pressing me against the side of the car. Our hands cup each other’s face, binding us to the kiss, making sure that there’s always contact between us. Emotions begin building inside me, begging to be released. Unspoken words float around in my head and travel down to my throat, pleading to be spoken.

  But I can’t and I won’t. Not yet. I need just a little more time to figure out if this is really going to work between us.

  As much as it pains me to do so, I pull back but he doesn’t let me go far. He keeps his forehead pressed against mine, our combined breaths meeting in the space between. His eyes are squeezed tight and a look of pain goes across his face.

  “I’m finding it difficult to let you go right now. I don’t want this to end. This weekend was … it was …”

  “It was perfect,” I say, finishing his sentence. Those blazing blue eyes find mine and I watch as his lips curl into a smile.

  “Perfect. Exactly. When can I see you again?” he asks, still stroking my hair with his hands.

  “We still have our regular lunch dates, unless you’ve got meetings planned this week.”

  Andrew pulls back and walks us over to the driver’s side door of my car. “Unfortunately I do. But I don’t want to miss any time with you.”

  “We’ll figure something out,” I reassure him. And we will because if I didn't see Andrew every day it could very well break me.

  Andrew nods before cradling my head in his hands. “This was the best weekend I’ve had so far. I can’t wait to have many, many more with you, love.”

  I grab his waist, wrapping my arms around him. I pull him close to me, letting myself cave to my desire to be near him at all times. This is harder than I thought it would be. I don’t want to let him go either but this is the way it must be for now.

  “It was a great weekend,” I agree, not wanting to declare that my heart agrees with the second half of his statement. All emotions along those lines must be locked away to be used in another place and time.

  Andrew’s lips find mine and I struggle to keep a tear at bay. This isn’t goodbye. I’m still going to see him every day if our schedules work out. Maybe we can sneak in a few dinners this week if we’re both not dead after our work day.

  We pull back from each other, sadness gracing both our faces. Andrew opens my door for me then shuts it when I’m comfortably settled and buckled in. He raps on my window, placing his palm flat to me. I match up our hands together, noticing how much larger his hand is compared to mine. The
heat from his body passes through the glass, allowing my own hand to feel it as it continues straight to my heart.

  We don’t say goodbye because that’s not what this is. Andrew simply waves at me as I pull away from him.

  This is not goodbye.

  Even still, it doesn’t hurt any less.

  The drive to Lilydale is uneventful, which I’m thankful for. Traffic is minimal, but then again it is Sunday evening. Not many people are milling about. Most normal people are at home, eating dinners with their families, getting the necessary things ready for the work and school week ahead. They’re not nervously chewing their nails as they navigate the streets of the upper class, sticking out like a sore thumb with their beat up car.

  Miriam’s friendly face greets me right away as I walk up to the front doors. “Tessa, so glad to see you again.” She squeezes me tight, hardly allowing my arms to move to return the gesture. I laugh a little when I’m finally able to breathe again.

  “Hi, Miriam, glad to see you too. How’s Colin doing? Is he still working those evening shifts at the bar?”

  Miriam nods and helps me remove my jacket, despite my protests. She places it on the hall tree while I remove my boots, tucking them underneath.

  “Yes, he’s always at that crazy pub these days. Still haven’t found enough staff to cover shifts. But it’s also more money for us if you want to look at it that way.”

  “That’s true. But he must get tired of working all the time.”

  “Sometimes I think he’s running himself ragged trying to do everything, but then he proves me wrong and I just let him do his thing. Him coming home to me in one piece every night is all that matters.”

  Miriam gives me a playful wink as we walk down the hall to the living room where my dad and Sharon are. My dad has his nose in a book and Sharon is reading another fashion magazine. I quietly clear my throat to announce myself and my dad looks up at me. A large smile crosses his face as he removes his glasses, placing them and the book on the table next to his oversized chair.

  “Tessa, I’m so glad you made it. Please, come in and make yourself at home.” He holds his arm out to the matching chair next to his and I take it without thought. My smile matches his as I sink down into the plush, soft leather. “How much longer until dinner Miriam?” he asks.

  “Just another five minutes and it’ll be ready.”

  “Thank you, Miriam.”

  I watch her retreat back to the kitchen then look around the room. Sharon hasn’t even acknowledged my existence yet. Not that I would expect her to. It wouldn’t break my heart if she didn’t talk to me the entire time I was here. In fact, that would make my night.

  “So Tessa, anything exciting happen lately? I apologize for not phoning you earlier in the week, but my schedule has been quite busy.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “It’s okay. I know you’re busy so don’t worry about that.”

  “Still, I should make a more conscious effort. Tell me, how was the first week in your new position?”

  I smile, thinking back upon my week. “It was good. I don’t have any accounts yet, but Chris is working on transferring some to me. And I picked out my new assistant, which is an immense relief. She’s a grad student at the U of M, going for her MBA. Oh! And Chris asked Kara to marry him on Friday. It was very romantic. I’m so happy for them.”

  “Well, you must give Kara my congratulations when you see her tomorrow.”

  “I will. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the two of them this happy before. They really are perfect together.”

  Sharon scoffs from behind her magazine before throwing it down on the coffee table next to her, drawing my dad’s attention right away. He gives her an annoyed glare, which throws me off a little. Luckily we’re all saved by Miriam, who announces that dinner is ready now. The three of us follow behind Miriam, only this time my dad is not escorting Sharon by the arm like he did two weeks ago. I don’t dwell on it because it’s really none of my business. However, I can’t help but internally gloat when my dad holds out my chair before he holds out Sharon’s. That’s getting chalked up to a win in my category. And the look on Sharon’s perfect face is truly priceless. I’m fairly positive that her eyes would have bounced across the table if they could.

  Miriam brings out our dinner, an elegant and deliciously smelling rack of lamb, complete with all the fixings. She serves my dad first, then Sharon and finally me. I smile at my plate, thankful that she’s arranged it so it looks like I have more food than what is really there. She’s always good at having my dad believe I’m eating more than I do. I risk a glance and note that he’s smiling at me.

  The silence surrounding the three of us isn’t uncomfortable or deafening, which is a very pleasant surprise. The usual tension isn’t quite as palpable, more than likely due to the change in attitude from my dad.

  “How are things with Michael?”

  I swallow hard, curious as to why he’s asking about him. “Good. We have coffee every morning and see each other in passing every once in a while.”

  “Any plans outside of coffee with him?”

  “No, he’s not that type of friend. We just like to hang out together and talk. He’s an excellent listener and he’s hilarious. Plus it helps that he’s in my building so it’s easy for us to get together.”

  My gaze falls over to Sharon, who sneers at her plate before laughing out loud. She picks up her wineglass and holds it in front of her highly amused face.

  “How is it going juggling two guys at once? Don’t you get confused?” she spits at me before taking a hasty sip of her wine. I stop twirling my fork, letting it fall noisily to the plate. Holy crap, how does she know about Andrew? My leg begins to bounce beneath the table and I repeatedly tuck the same piece of hair behind my ear.

  My dad frowns at her. “What are you talking about Sharon?”

  The Cheshire cat-like grin crossing her face scares me as ice begins to run through my veins. “Well, I mean, she must really be getting around when she brings two guys to the same party. Kind of tacky to me, but hey, whatever gets you through the night.”

  Sharon slides a piece of lamb into her mouth, making a satisfied humming sound. My stomach turns and rolls around like I’m on a rollercoaster. The smug look on her face lets me know that she’s not going to let this drop. Oh no, she’s going to really play this up and paint me as something I’m not.

  My dad looks between the two of us then turns to me with sympathetic eyes. I don’t want him to think I’m a whore because I’m not. There’s nothing going on with Michael and I don’t know why Sharon is trying to paint a different picture than what is really there.

  “It’s not like that,” I whisper softly. My voice is barely audible and my eyes burn with unshed tears, barely contained by my weakening will. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my dad sitting there, waiting for some sort of explanation. I sigh, just wanting to get this over with so I can leave here quickly when all hell breaks loose. “Do you remember when I told you about the Head of Operations for the Tree of Life Foundation?”

  My dad nods his head, setting his silverware down on his plate. “Yes, the gentleman who escorted you around London. What was his name again?”

  “Andrew. Andrew Parker. He and I … we … well we kind of started something in London, but I didn’t think it would work out because of our jobs and the distance and then we had a misunderstanding.” I pause, taking a sip of liquid courage as I lay it all out for my dad. “He was supposed to be here this week but came a week early instead.”

  “Because of you?” he asks, tilting his head slightly.

  “Yes. He found out I was going to be at the party so he showed up, letting me know he wants to pursue a real relationship with me. That he needs to be with me and only me. I was surprised and shocked to see him, but all of the old feelings came rushing back to me and I couldn’t ignore them. So we’ve decided to take things slow. Try to date and have a real relationship.”

  My dad stays quiet for a mome
nt, his fingers tented in front of his mouth. “So this Andrew, do you like him?”

  I nod my head for fear of saying the words I don’t want to voice yet.

  Sharon just laughs. “I don’t buy it. I saw the way Michael was looking at you at the party and vice versa. You two obviously have something going on besides friendship. So what did you do? Kick him to the curb when this other guy showed up? Were the sheets of your bed even cool before you brought this Andrew to bed with you?”

  I shrink back as far as I can into my chair, wanting to disappear altogether. I knew coming here would be a bad idea. There was no way Sharon would leave me alone, especially now that she knows about Andrew.

  A lone tear treks down my cheek as I push away my half-eaten plate, my appetite truly gone now. But I’m slightly jostled out of my self-pity by the slamming of my dad’s fist against the table. I watch as he slowly stands from his chair, looming over Sharon.

  “That is enough Sharon. I will not tolerate you speaking to Tessa that way. You will never insinuate that my daughter is a whore. Ever.”

  Sharon is stunned into silence. Hell, I’m stunned into silence. Her mouth gapes open, but then it twists into the ugliest scowl I’ve ever witnessed while simultaneously arching her perfect eyebrow. “Really Robert? Then what would you call it? She shows up at a party and entertains two men throughout the night. I mean pretty soon she’ll be down at the corners on Lake Street along with all of the other working girls.”

  The look on my dad’s face is borderline murderous. You can physically see the red crawling up his face with each passing second. “I will not sit here and listen to you speak about my daughter that way. It is not allowed in this house!” he yells, putting emphasis on my title.

  Sharon stands as well, throwing her napkin onto her plate. She stabs a pointy finger toward my dad. “You will not speak to me, your wife, that way Robert.” She pushes away from the table. “I’m leaving for a while. Don’t wait up for me.” Sharon stalks out of the room with my dad still fuming silently, watching her with cold eyes before we hear the slamming of the front door followed by the loud screech of her tires.