Fated to be Mine

by Larson, Jodie

  It feels like everything just happened in slow motion. I have never witnessed an ill word spoken between Sharon and my dad. He’s always appeared to worship the ground she walked on, ignorant to her feelings toward me. Although with this little display, perhaps I was wrong about that. Maybe he wasn’t unaware of her actions. Perhaps he was just waiting to hit his limit.

  Unable to hold it back anymore, I quietly sob to myself, my head still hanging down, letting my hair hide my shame. My shoulders shake with each sob, reliving each and every word Sharon spewed about me.

  “Tessa, please don’t cry. What Sharon said is not true.” His hand is light on my shoulder, reassuring his statement with that small gesture. I look up and am greeted by my own eyes looking back at me. “I do not think that of you so please don’t believe a word she says.” I nod and he retakes his seat. His hand moves to my forearm, wanting to give some sort of comfort to me. “Now, tell me about Andrew.”

  How do I describe Andrew to my dad without sounding like a lovestruck teenager? “Andrew is, well, I don’t know how to explain him. He’s kind and caring and always thinking of others. He treats me well and is a perfect gentleman. Obviously he’s smart since he went to school at Oxford and holds the position that he does with the Foundation. Andrew is always polite and has impeccable manners. He makes me laugh constantly and I’m so happy when he’s around. It’s like I’m a totally different person. Well, not different I suppose. Maybe someone more like me or how I used to be, or how I could have been.” My eyes fall onto my dad’s, watching him wince ever so slightly at my last comment. I swallow hard and continue. “Andrew brings something out of me that I never knew I had. The way he looks at me, wanting to be around me all the time, never satisfied with any amount of space between us … I don’t know, it makes me feel cherished I guess.”

  My dad smiles at me and I feel better. My whole body lets out a collective sigh, relaxing back into my chair, the tension of earlier now forgotten. Is it because of that smile or because I’m thinking about Andrew? Could it be a combination of both?

  “I would very much like to meet this Andrew if you wouldn’t mind.”

  I nervously chew the inside of my cheek. “You would?”

  He nods. “Yes. Any man who has my daughter’s attention like that is someone I need to meet.”

  “Okay. I could try to set something up for the three of us. I’ll have to check with Andrew, see what his schedule is first.”

  “Good. You said he was scheduled to be here for work this week?” I nod. “How long will he be here then?”

  My fingers twist in my lap and another smile ghosts my face. “Andrew said he will be here for an undetermined amount of time. He wants to prove to me that we belong together and are meant to be.”

  “That’s good to hear. If he looks at you the way you describe him, then I know everything will work out for the best.”

  “I guess a part of me is scared because he’s my first real relationship and I don’t want to mess anything up.”

  My dad pauses to take a sip of wine. “How do you feel when you’re with him?”

  “Safe, happy, elated,” I reply, not hesitating to respond.

  He nods his head and smiles. “All good qualities in a man. He hasn’t forced you into anything you’re not ready for, has he?”

  He’s thinking about Shawn right now, the ex-boyfriend that ruined me. The guilt he feels over not being able to protect me must continually eat at him. It’s the reason why he acts the way he does around me. My childhood and the months spent in foster care could have been prevented. I’m sure he feels guilty on some level over those years. And then the monster of the boy who I thought cared for me adds to another layer of guilt. Although he really doesn’t need to feel guilty about Shawn. No one could have seen that coming, least of all him.

  And the guilt needs to stay in the past because as far as I’m concerned it’s over and done with. I don’t want to give power to those who don’t deserve it. And the figures and events of my past don’t deserve another glance. There’s a future for me that has the ability to erase the ugliness of what’s been done. Like a magical do-over button.

  I shake my head. “No, Dad, never. He’s been nothing but gentle with me. And he knows about my past so he’s extra cautious to make sure everything is on my terms and my pace.”

  He nods. “Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

  And that’s the last we talk about the subject because it makes the both of us uncomfortable. So we spend the next half hour just talking about random topics, causing us both to laugh at the more ridiculous parts. The smile on my face has become a permanent fixture and I like it. Opening up to my dad about what’s going on in my life feels good. And his genuine concern and interest in what I’m doing pleases me to no end. We could actually have a functional relationship if this keeps going.

  When it’s time for me to leave, he walks me to the foyer, helping me into my jacket and waits patiently while I lace my boots.

  “Tessa, I want to apologize again for Sharon’s behavior tonight. I assure you it won’t happen again.”

  I sling my purse over my shoulder and shrug my shoulders. “It’s all right Dad. Thank you for inviting me over. It was fun. Well, the last half was fun.”

  There’s a smile on his face but then he surprises me when he pulls me in for an awkward side hug. I take advantage of the contact and hold him tight, pretending that we’re really a family.

  “Drive safe, please. I worry about you in that car of yours. Now that you have a new job, do you think you could buy something a bit safer?”

  Not that I haven’t had the same thoughts go through my mind before, especially when winter is fast approaching. But it still gets me from place to place and I’d rather not have a car payment right now. It may be old, but it’s mine, free and clear.

  “Maybe. I know I’m getting a raise and all with this promotion, but I don’t know if I want to start putting myself into debt with a newer car. Money’s still kind of tight for me.”

  He shakes his head. “You know I can help you with that.”

  “I know, but I want to do this on my own. You shouldn’t have to carry my problems around with you. I am an adult after all. Besides that would put another rift between you and Sharon and I don’t want to be the cause for you two to fight.”

  My dad lets out an audible sigh. “You let me worry about Sharon. Do you need anything? More clothes for work perhaps?”

  I smile. “No, I’m good there. But thank you.”

  “If you need anything, please just let me know. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.”

  “I know.” We walk out onto the front steps. The chill of the night air has a slight bite to it, making me wish I would have started my car about ten minutes ago. I step next to my car and wave back to him. “Goodnight, Dad.”

  He waves back, a large smile on his face. “Goodnight, Tessa.”

  The freezing cold steering wheel numbs my fingers as I make my way back to the city and my now empty apartment. It feels lifeless without Andrew here. And quiet. I don’t like it. All I want to do is go to sleep and rest my head after the evening I endured.

  The bed looks small now, all freshly made and lacking a large, dark-haired presence in it. Throwing the sheets back, I smile when I find a surprise waiting for me. Sneaky bastard. Andrew’s sweatshirt, the one he wore yesterday during our lounge day, is spread across his side of the bed, the arms of it stretched out toward mine side. I know he wants me to think of him. Not that I could ever stop. There’s a reason why I never washed the nightshirt I’m wearing again. It still smells of him and I don’t want that smell to go away just yet. But I cling to the sweatshirt as I crawl into bed, my head on his pillow, immersing myself in everything that is Andrew before falling asleep, wishing that he was here.

  CHARLENE WALKS INTO MY OFFICE, bringing the large stack of files I asked her to find for me. She has been my lifesaver this week. Definitely a great pick for my new a
ssistant, even if it was done in the most unconventional way. At least she was able to start right away after I let her know the good news.

  “Here you go, Tessa. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

  Her sweet smile lights up her face. I return her smile, hoping to pass it off as believable. “No, no I’m good. Thanks, Charlene. How’s everything coming along with you?”

  “So far so good. Everyone’s been really friendly so far, helping me out with everything and answering all of my stupid questions. And, believe me, I’ve had a lot.”

  I laugh. “It’s a lot to take in at first, but you seem to be getting a handle on it quickly. Pretty soon you’ll be running my schedule better than me. Then I’ll be back to your position and will probably end up as your assistant.”

  Charlene shakes her head with a nervous laugh. “I don’t think so. You’re an awesome boss to work for and I don’t think I could ever do your job. At least not right now. Between here and school I’m kind of on overload.”

  “I can only imagine. If you ever need a break or if it gets to be too much for you just let me know. We’ll work something out.”

  “Thanks. I really appreciate that,” Charlene says before giving me a small wave and returning back to her cube. She reminds me of me at the beginning, ambitious yet very unsure. I guess I’m still like that, even with my best efforts to try and hide it. It’s a hard habit to break, but self-assurance isn’t exactly one of my strong suits.

  A knock at my door has my head picking up from the newly placed files. Kara leisurely strolls into my office, throwing herself into one of the empty chairs in front of my desk. “What’s up, Chickie? How’s your first account going? Have you already hit it out of the park?”

  “Not entirely, but so far it’s looking good. I’m just happy that it’s pretty straight forward. Nothing too complicated, unlike some of the stuff that you and I had previously worked on together. I have a meeting with their CEO in about an hour to go over some final details and then I should have the contract signed by early next week.”

  Kara claps her hands together, giving a little hoot in the process. “I knew you’d be perfect for the job.” She fidgets with her nails before looking back at me. “So tell me how your love life is going so far? Anything new on that front?”

  A groan escapes my lips as I begin massaging my temples. “Other than the daily headaches I’m getting, no there’s nothing new.”

  “Still scared to admit your feelings?” she asks.

  I sigh audibly, slumping back into my chair. “Yeah.”

  Kara gives me a sympathetic smile. “I honestly don’t know why you’re fighting this. You both are absolutely crazy for each other. How many dates have you been on in the last two weeks?”

  “Let’s see. We do lunch everyday, or most days depending on his schedule, and we had our weekend together. Does that count as one date or two?”

  “Two. I think you need all the help you can get.”

  I roll my eyes. “Funny. We’ve gone out to dinner three times this week and twice the week prior, so how many is that?”

  Kara taps her fingers against the armrest. “Enough for you to figure things out. You go on more dates than Chris and I do.”

  “But you’re engaged and live together. You don’t have to go on dates.”

  She shakes her head. “No, we need to go on dates because we live together. We have to work at it still, even though we’re always with the other. If we don’t change things up every once in a while, things will become stagnant and we’ll develop a rut. And I refuse to be one of those people who take their relationship for granted.” She raises an eyebrow to me and I know what she’s trying to say.

  “Okay, fine. So we’ve been on more dates than not over the past two weeks.”

  Kara waits expectantly for more. “And?”

  I open my mouth, prepared to tell her I have no idea how to proceed further when another knock comes to my door. A delivery man stands in the doorway with a large bouquet of flowers in a crystal vase.

  “Ms. Martin?” he asks, walking further into my office.

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  He hands me a clipboard to sign while placing the flowers on my desk. I hand it back to him and he nods his head after confirming I’ve signed in the right spot.

  “Thank you. Have a nice afternoon,” he says, turning quickly to leave. Kara jumps up instantly, snagging the card from the clear plastic stake before I even have a chance to look at it.

  “Let’s see who it’s from, shall we? As if we didn’t already know.” She opens the envelope while my eyes glide over the flowers. Bright, multicolored Gerbera daisies, laced with peach colored roses, are perfectly arranged in the vase, which also sports a large green bow, my favorite color. He’s finally figured out my favorite flowers, right down to the color of the roses. How did he manage to do this? I don’t remember giving him any hints to either one of those flowers.

  “Can I have the card, please? I’m fairly positive they’re for me, not you.”

  Kara pouts, handing me the card while leaning forward to take in the sweet fragrance. “I never get flowers anymore,” she pouts.

  “Really? Did you completely forget what happened last week? Your office looked like a freaking flower shop.”

  The memory of her proposal causes her lips to quirk into a smile as her fingers gently caress the large diamond on her left finger. She laughs lightly and shakes her head. “That’s not the same as getting random flowers just because he’s thinking about me.”

  “Don’t complain,” I say, looking at the already open card and seeing the familiar neat handwriting scrawled across it.

  My fingers reach out to graze each petal, making my heart swell with each stroke as it yearns to be filled with Andrew’s love and a future together with him. Kara looks up with a smile on her face as she watches my reaction. My lips twist to the side in contemplation.

  “Quick question for you.”

  “Shoot,” she says.

  “Did you say anything to him about my favorite flowers?”

  Kara shakes her head. “No, why?”

  I sink back into my chair with a sigh. “I assume you’ve had a hand in it since you’ve been in cahoots with Andrew from the very beginning..”

  “My lips have been sealed on this matter, I swear to you. I’ve never once uttered your favorite flowers, nor has he asked me about them. But hey, props to my man for figuring it out all on his own. Go Andrew!” she says with a fist pump to the air.

  I toss a wadded up piece of paper at her and sigh. “You’re incorrigible.”

  Kara shrugs while ducking out of the way. “Yeah, but you love me.” She stands from her chair and stretches her arms above her head. “Okay lover lady, I’m ditching you to go molest my fiancé.” She gives me her customary wave over her shoulder as she exits my office.

  I stare at the bouquet, amazed that Andrew has managed to figure it out. We just had lunch not more than two hours ago and he never once let on that I should be expecting a delivery today. But then again he wouldn’t have wanted to ruin the surprise. I pick up my phone and begin typing out a text to him.

  Andrew, thank you for the flowers. They’re absolutely beautiful. How did you know they were my favorites? ~T~

  Charlene comes in, looking like she’s been restraining herself for as long as possible. “Wow, those are beautiful Tessa. I saw the delivery guy when I was making copies and just had to find out who they were going to. Are they from your boyfriend?”

  Boyfriend? Well, there’s a complicated statement. I ponder quickly on how to respond to the question.

  “Yes, they’re from the guy I’m seeing.”

  “I love Gerberas. They’re so beautiful,” she says, bringing her nose closer.

  “They’re my favorite,” I reply.

  Charlene smiles. “He must really like you then if he knows your favorite flower. Most guys are generic and just send red roses. I mean, they’re beautiful and all, but I don’t
know many women who actually choose them as their favorite. My favorite flower is a lily. Brian, my ex-boyfriend, used to decorate our old apartment with them constantly.”

  She sighs at the memory. Another hopeless romantic like myself. I can definitely see us getting along, even becoming friends. We share way too much in common already. “I must say I agree on the whole red rose thing. I am a sucker for brightly colored Gerberas and peach colored roses. They’re kind of hard to find, which is why I like them.”

  “Well, he certainly nailed it on the head with this arrangement.” Charlene takes another moment to admire the flowers before turning her gaze back to me. “Is there anything you need before we head out for the meeting?”

  Shaking my head, I start shuffling around the files in front of me. “Nope. Just be ready to leave in about forty minutes.” She smiles, nodding her head, and turns to leave.

  My phone alerts me to a text message and I eagerly open it.

  I knew they were your favorite because I know you, Tessa. And I’m looking forward to showering you with all of your favorite things for many years to come. ~A~

  Andrew’s words roll through my head. How is it that he’s managed to make his way into my life in such a short amount of time and know me, like really know me? He knows things about me that most people haven’t a clue about. Is it because he pays attention to every little thing I say and do? Or is it just because we’re fated to be together as he keeps reminding me? I mean, how can two people be so drawn to the other, know things instinctively without needing clues or urging? Andrew seems to take the crown in that category. And this little display is just one more thing to prove it may not all be in my head as I think it is.

  Charlene and I return from our meeting, our heads held high and giggling like two schoolgirls while we make our way down the hall. Of course, it was a sure thing getting everything worked out with the contracts. Mr. McDannold was so impressed that he almost guaranteed the signatures by early Monday morning. For my first account, I couldn’t be happier with the outcome, even if it is only a small one.