My Mother's Keeper

by Evelyn Guy

  “Christine, what is it? Is something wrong between you and Richard? Do you suspect Richard of something? What is wrong?”

  “Mother, you can’t say anything to Richard about any of this, okay? Promise?”

  “Sure. But, what is wrong?”

  “I am not sure. I just heard something today that makes me a little nervous about Richard. We just need to be careful for a bit until I can find out more. Just don’t worry about it, but only visit with him. And, don’t let him tell you how to run your business or anything. Don’t let him talk you into insurance or anything at all. Just visit casually. Don’t tell him any of our business.”

  Christine noticed that her mother had suddenly gotten very quiet. She seemed nervous about something.

  “What is it, Mother? Is something wrong?”

  “Don’t get mad at me, Christine, please. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. I just wanted to make things easier for you. I promise that is all I wanted.”

  “What, Mother? What are you talking about?”

  “Well, you know how Richard comes and stays here in the afternoons sometimes?” Christine nodded, and her mother continued. “Well, one afternoon we got to talking about what would happen to you when I am gone. Like, you know, you haven’t really had a chance to develop a career or anything for looking after me. Richard said he would always take care of you, but that it wasn’t fair that you had to do all that all the time and not live your own life. He suggested that it would be a nice thing to take out a life insurance policy so you could have some money when I died. I can’t give you anything while I am alive because I don’t have nay money. But, with the insurance, I could leave you some when I am gone.”

  “Oh, Mom. I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to stay well so we can have good times together. Don’t worry about insurance or anything. You didn’t go get it did you?”

  “Yes. I am afraid I did.”

  “How? You don’t have any money much at all. How can you get insurance?” Christine took care of the household finances and she knew they barely got by on what her mom got in her check and what she herself earned at her part time job.

  “Well, that’s the thing that made it seem so nice. Richard paid for it. He knew I couldn’t afford it, and he wanted you to have it. So, he offered to pay for it. It was a lot of money, and I didn’t want to take it because I knew we could never pay it back. But, he insisted that it was for you and he wanted you to have it. So, I let him pay for it. He pays for it every month. The bill just goes to him.”

  “Oh, Mom. I am so sorry. How much did he take out on you?”

  “He took out a five-hundred-thousand-dollar policy. He said it would help you get a good start in life when I am gone. I know I won’t life very long, as I am not well. So, you would be taken care of. It would pay you back for all the heartache I have caused you over the years.”

  “Oh, Mom. Don’t ever think like that. I love you. Whatever I did was because I love you. You don’t have to pay me back or anything. It is just what a loving daughter would do.”

  “I know, but most kids don’t have to put up with what you have had to do.”

  “Mom, I have to ask you another question. Whom did you put on the policy as beneficiary?”

  “I put Richard on it. He said that would be better. That way, since you guys would be married by then, he could see that you were always provided for. He said he would see that you had everything you ever wanted with that money. It sounded reasonable. He really does love you, Christine, and he wants the best for you. He really has your best interest at heart. Did I do wrong?”

  “No, Mom. You didn’t. You were just trying to help me. I will check into it. Don’t you worry about it. Go to sleep. I’ll check tomorrow and see what I can find out. I will talk to Richard. Goodnight.” Christine kissed her mother on the cheek, tucked her in, then turned out the light and slipped out of her room. Her mother was snuggled in bed like a small child. In fact, Christine thought of her as a small child who needed protection. It apparently was going to be even more important to protect her from the evils of the world.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Christine slept very fitfully that night. She tossed and turned for hours without being able to sleep. She kept rehashing all that Eileen had told her. Was Richard really guilty of all that Eileen thought? Was he repeating his actions with her mother? Or, was she just over reacting because of what Eileen had told her? So many questions and so few answers. She was going to have to confront Richard. But, confronting him with something so drastic would ruin their relationship if he was innocent. And, if he was guilty, she didn’t know if she could stand to find out.

  At nearly daybreak, Christine finally fell asleep from exhaustion. She had no sooner fallen asleep than she started dreaming. She dreamed that Richard was creeping around in the house. She didn’t know what he was looking for, but he was rummaging through all the drawers in the house. Finally, he appeared to find what he was looking for. In her dream, he threw a folder on the desk in the living room, then slipped into the kitchen. She went to the desk and looked in the folder. It was an adoption record on her. In the record, she was adopted by her mother and father. Richard was her brother. He suddenly leapt out of the kitchen, a knife in his hand. He started yelling at her that he would get what was coming to him that she couldn’t stop it. Christine awoke with a start, her heart racing and blood pounding in her ears. Had she really heard a sound in the living room, or was it her imagination because of the dream? She listened closely. She heard it again. There was someone in the living room. She got up and slipped into the living room. She didn’t see anyone, but there on the desk was a folder just like in her dream. She had a very eerie feeling as she went over and picked it up. She opened it up. Inside was the insurance policy that her mom had taken out. Of course, they would have had her mother’s address on the policy. But, how did it get here and in the folder. She always brought the mail in. The label was in Richard’s handwriting. It just all pointed to his guilt. Why would he hide the fact that he had taken a policy out on her mother unless he was up something? And, how did this folder get here? It wasn’t there this evening. She was sure.

  Suddenly, Christine heard a sound from the kitchen. She whirled and screamed as someone came through the door. “Mom, you frightened me!” she exclaimed as her mother came into the living room.

  “Sorry, Honey. I couldn’t sleep, so went to make some hot chocolate. Do you want some? Seems you can’t sleep either.”

  “Sure. I’ll help you make it.”

  “I’ll do it. I see you found the insurance folder. I had forgotten that I had it. I thought of it while I was lying awake, and decided to come look for it. I thought you might want to see it.”

  “Yes, thanks, Mom. I’ll check into it tomorrow. Let’s finish our hot chocolate and get back to bed. I have to go to work in about three hours.”

  The next morning, Christine put the folder in her bottom dresser drawer. She planned to confront Richard with it. She wanted it to be a surprise to him when she first confronted him because she wanted to see what he would do. She was a good judge of people’s reactions. She wanted to catch him unaware and see what his reaction would be.

  The next day at class, Christine avoided talking to Richard. She sat and read over her assignment as an excuse to not talk to him. After school, she had work. She invited to Richard to come over after work. All through work she worried about what she would say to him.

  “Richard, I need to talk to you about something,” Christine began, after they had eaten pizza and cleaned the kitchen. Her mother had gone back to her bedroom, pleading a headache, but Christine knew she was just giving them some privacy. She could have offered to meet him somewhere beside at her home, but she preferred the privacy of home. She didn’t want to antagonize him, but she really had to find out the truth.

  “I have to ask you about something. I’ll be right back. I have to get something out of my room.” Christine went to her
room to get the folder. She walked back to the living room with the folder partially concealed by her side. She pulled it out and tossed it into his lap.

  “Can you explain this? I am curious.”

  “Sure, but I didn’t want you to find out. It is a life insurance policy on your mother. It’s for you.”

  “Then why are you the beneficiary on it?”

  “Because we didn’t have your social security number. Besides, I felt if you didn’t know it would be better. I was afraid you would get upset if you knew. It is hard to face that our parents will one day die. I know that. I have been through it.”

  Christine didn’t know much about Richard. He had never really shared much. Of course, she had never asked much, either.

  “I thought that since you had given up so much to care for your mother that it was only fitting that you get something when she was gone. I know she doesn’t have anything. She would die penniless, more than likely. It is not fair to you.”

  “Did you ever think that maybe we can take care of our own business? That maybe we didn’t need your help?” Christine watched Richard closely. All he seemed to feel was surprise at her being angry.

  “I know you can. You have all your life. But, I wanted this to be a surprise for you. I see now that was not a good idea. I am sorry. I only wanted you to have the best in life. I can’t give you that, and your mom can’t while she is alive. But, when she is gone, she can leave you something in this way. You cannot really develop your career due to being so involved with your mother’s care. This way, you will at least be compensated for giving up your life.”

  Christine could see his point of view, even though she didn’t agree with him. She didn’t need her mother’s insurance policy. She only wanted her mother to do well. But, there didn’t seem to be any evasiveness on Richard’s part, just surprise.

  “I am sorry, Christine, if I did anything wrong. I was just trying to look out for you. I knew we were going to be married soon, and I know I will never leave you. So, I thought it would be fine to be the beneficiary. I guess I was wrong. I guess you don’t trust me.”

  “I don’t know what to believe. Why did you have to hide it from me? If you are on the level, then why didn’t you let me know what you were trying to do? Why be so secretive?”

  “I don’t know. I just didn’t want to bother you with the details. I know how hard it is to think about things like insurance and stuff. It makes you have to face the fact that your parent is going to die one day. It is easier if you don’t have to think of it. Usually, the parent takes care of it and you never have to know. But, I knew your mother didn’t have the money nor could she follow through to get it. I was really just trying to be helpful. Please believe me when I say that.”

  “Richard, I don’t know what to believe. I lost in a relationship one time for not being totally honest and up front about something. It was totally innocent on my part, yet I should have shared before I did. Maybe this is something like that. Then, again, maybe not. Is there anything about your life you need to tell me?” Christine didn’t want to bring up the subject of Eileen and his prior marriage to her, but she had to know. She also had to know if he would be honest with her.

  “What do you mean? What am I supposed to tell you? What do you want to know?”

  “Whatever you think it might be important for me to know. You haven’t really told anything at all about you. I really don’t know anything about you prior to meeting you in college. Is there anything I should know?”

  “Not really. I lost my parents two years before college. I lived with a family that were friends of the family. Then, I moved out into my own apartment when I started college. That is about it.”

  “What about other relationships before ours? Was there anyone significant in your life before me? I mean, besides family and family friends.” Christine hoped that her prompting would draw him out to share about Eileen. But, he just looked puzzled and stared at her, denying anything.

  “Not really. I was a very studious teen, and didn’t get out much. I worked and went to school, so didn’t have much time get acquainted with anyone on that level.”

  “No girlfriends or anything?”

  “Not really. I dated some, that is all. I mean, what are you getting at? Are you jealous or what? You dated before ‘us’. What are you trying to say? Of course, I dated some. Not much, and nothing serious.”

  Christine stood for several minutes, looking over the policy to disguise her confusion. She way trying to buy time. She didn’t know how to proceed from here. Should she just confront Richard with what Eileen had said, let him know she knew about Eileen, or just let it all go? She didn’t know. She had to know something. If he didn’t confirm all that Eileen had told her, she would have to investigate it for herself. But, she wanted to give him time to tell her his side of things. How was she to confront him, though? She wasn’t a lot worried about revealing what Eileen had confided in her, because she had never promised to keep it secret. She hadn’t even known what it was. She did see how maybe Eileen and her brother, James, might be in danger if Richard knew she was telling things. But, that was the least of her concerns. Right now, she had to keep her mother and herself safe in any way she could. She finally made up her mind.

  “Did you ever date anyone named Eileen?” Christine watched Richard’s face closely. She saw his face blanch as if he were about to pass out. He fidgeted with the cuff of his jeans for a minute, then looked up at her. As his eyes met her, she knew her answer. He didn’t have to say a thing. He had a trapped animal look about him. She knew that he at least knew Eileen, and had some sort of relationship with her beside just a simple date or two.

  “How . . . Who . . . How did you find out about Eileen? What do you know about her?” Richard seemed to be trying to get his composure. He also appeared to be trying to see what Eileen had told her before he committed to anything. Christine decided to play it out and see what he would tell her.

  “Someone told me you once knew a girl named Eileen. That you were in fact very close to her. I was just wondering how close you two were. I wondered if you were going to tell me about dating her. Seemingly you were more than just casually dating.”

  “Well, yes. I guess I forgot about her.”

  “Forgot about her?” Christine’s voice went up an octave and the volume escalated in shock. How could he say he just forgot about her? If they were married, it would not be possible. Or, were they not married.

  “Yes. I should have told you, but I have been trying to forget that time.”

  “I am sure. How close did you get with her? Did you get engaged or something? What? Tell me. I am curious about it since someone thought it important enough to tell me.”

  “Who told you? What did they tell you?” Richard seemed to be fishing to find out what she knew. He didn’t seem to want to reveal more than he had to. Either that, or there wasn’t anything to reveal. Christine hoped it was the latter, but it certainly looked as if Richard was trying to hide something. “What did they tell you? It wasn’t that important, but I just wondered how they presented it to you.”

  “They didn’t tell me very much. Just names, mostly.” Christine knew she was not being totally honest with Richard, and she hated it. But, she also knew she had to find out what he would tell on his own. She had told herself she would never be dishonest again, but here she was trying to reveal what she knew.

  “What names? Beside Eileen, I mean? Who is telling things on me?” Richard seemed terrified at what names she may be aware of. Did that not show her there was something to what Eileen had told her?

  “Just about Eileen. And, they mentioned she had a brother that you became friends with.”

  “Yes, James.”

  “Tell me all about it in your own way.”

  “Okay. There really wasn’t much to it. I was friends with this guy, James. He was in the hospital where I worked part time. He was in there for schizophrenia. He was very paranoid. He was much worse than your mother
. He was afraid of everyone, even his family. For some reason, we hit it off. He trusted me, confided in me. It was through him that I met Eileen. She was attractive, and we began to date. At first, it was just a way to get James out of the house. He would go with us places, like the movies or something. He wouldn’t go places with just me. But, if we set him up as our chaperone, he would go with us. We wanted him to get out more, so we pretended to be dating and took him as chaperone. Then, eventually, Eileen wanted just the two of us to go out without her brother. We did. I am always a sucker for a damsel in distress. She had never dated, and I took her out to show her a good time, and maybe prepare her for the time someone asked her out.” Richard got up and went into the kitchen. Christine was afraid he was done. He hadn’t explained anything at all. He came back into the room with a cold bottle of water for himself and one for her. She took hers, taking time to unscrew the top and sip it. Richard drank about half his bottle in one gulp, not saying a word until he had drunk the whole bottle. Setting it on the end table, he continued his account.

  “After a time, I realized that our relationship meant more to Eileen than it did to me. I thought we were just a couple of friends having a good time. She began telling people at school that we were going together, that we were planning on getting married. I had never mentioned marriage to her. But, she seemed to interpret it that way. I started coming by and getting James to go somewhere without Eileen. I wanted her to get the message that our relationship wasn’t serious. I would take James lots of places, even camping over the weekend sometimes. I hoped she would see that I was James’s friend more than her boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong. She was very pretty, and very nice. But, she just wasn’t my type. I wasn’t interested in a long term relationship, anyway. I was headed to college and a wife would have been a hindrance.”

  “Did you tell Eileen that you weren’t interested in a serious relationship?”

  “No. I have always had a hard time hurting someone’s feelings. I knew she would be hurt and embarrassed if I told her. So, I just didn’t say anything. Soon, though, she caught on when I kept taking James places and not her. She got very angry with me. She forbade me to see him. She tried to turn him against me. At first, she wasn’t successful. But, eventually, James began to believe her claims that I only wanted his friendship because he had a little money to do things with. It was true. James had some money from his dad. He was very generous in paying our way places. He even bought me things from time to time. But, mostly, he was just a nice person to be around. Eileen could never see that. She had a hard time accepting his mental illness. She didn’t like the fact he was ill. She was often in denial about it, and when she wasn’t she just didn’t want him around to remind her of how sick he was.”