My Mother's Keeper

by Evelyn Guy

  Christine could identify with that. She knew she was often in denial about her mother, and she also knew that sometimes she just wanted to avoid her mother to keep from having to face the illness that came between them.

  “Eileen thought that since she didn’t really want to be around her brother that no one else would either. So, she couldn’t see how I would enjoy spending time with him. The fact was, he was a lot of fun to be with when he wasn’t sick. Just like your mother. When she is not sick, she is a very intelligent and caring. It is just when she is sick that she is so difficult to relate to. The same with James. He was very stable at this time, and we had lots of fun. Eileen couldn’t handle that. So, she forbade him to see me. He had to do what she said. If not, she would have him committed against his will. She had done it before when he didn’t follow her wishes. She could convince any judge that he was a danger to himself and others. Everyone in town knew how she had cared for him, and seen after his every need. Her mother was way in denial about her own son. She was pretty dysfunctional, so Eileen ran the family.”

  “What else happened?” Christine asked after a while, when it was evident Richard wasn’t going to volunteer any more information. “What happened to your relationship?”

  “Nothing. It just died when she became so suspicious. I just went my way and she went her way. Oh, for a while she would tell tales to anyone I tried to date. She would tell them how cruel I was to James. That I only wanted to use him. But she soon gave up and just left me alone. I finished out that year, then the next came to the University. You know the rest, pretty much.”

  “So you never married her or anything?”

  “Married Eileen? Goodness no. We never progressed that far in our relationship. Oh, I think she thought at one time that we were going to get married. But, I never proposed to her, and definitely never married her.”

  Christine was now more confused than ever. Both Eileen and Richard had to know she could check vital records and find out if they had been married. So, why would they lie about it? If Eileen was lying, she had to know that if Richard denied it she would just check the records and see. If Richard was lying, he had to know that she was suspicious about it even if he didn’t know she had been told already. He would know she only had to check and see. Why would either of them lie? Were they both disillusioned? Christine couldn’t figure it out. Unless one or both of them were mentally ill, it didn’t make any sense. “Was Eileen ever afraid she would develop schizophrenia like her brother? She had to know about the suspected genetic link.”

  “Yes, she always worried about that. Every time she had a period of forgetfulness, or confusion, or thought someone was mad at her and they weren’t, she would worry that she was getting ‘it’ as she called it. She never said the word. It was too horrible for her to even think it, she often said. She always just called it ‘it’.”

  Christine realized that Eileen could have a break with reality if she indeed had gotten ill. But, if she had told the truth and James was adopted, there was no reason to suspect that she was ill. And, she had seemed completely normal. There was no evidence of mental illness about her. Of course, Christine knew that often the person with schizophrenia looked and sounded totally normal even when in the throes of an episode. But, usually, if they were that far out of touch with reality to make up a tale like Eileen would have had to do, you had no trouble seeing something was wrong. Eileen hadn’t given off any hint of anything wrong. What was she to believe? How could Richard just blatantly deny the truth, if it was the truth? His story was consistent with things Eileen had told her. But, he left out a whole lot of stuff, if Eileen had told the truth. The things he left out were important, vital facts, if indeed Eileen was correct. She was more confused than ever.

  “What is it, Christine? Why are you so strange toward me? Don’t you believe me?”

  “I don’t know, Richard. I have information that is contrary to what you are telling me. I don’t know what to believe. I am so confused. Until I get it figured out, I want you to stay away from me and my mother. I can’t trust you.”

  “Fine. I will honor what you want. But, can you tell me what you are confused about? Maybe I can clear it up. Who has been talking to you? Maybe I can figure out what is going on if I know who is talking to you. I just don’t know what the problem is.”

  Christine debated within herself for several minutes. It was hard to know what to do. If she told Richard, and Eileen was telling the truth, then she was endangering James and Eileen. If Eileen was sick and Richard was telling the truth, he could verify the truth. But, she wouldn’t know whether to believe him or not. It was just best he stay away until she checked everything out.

  “I would rather not say at this time. I will tell you everything as soon as I clarify some things to myself. I need the space and privacy to check it out, though. I want you to stay away from my mother and me until I figure it out. Can you at least give me that?”

  “Of course. I told you I would. I am sorry you are so confused. I wish I knew what was eating at you, so maybe I could set you straight. But, I will give you time to sort it out. I just want to say, if you are worried or jealous of mine and Eileen’s relationship, just remember I had not met you at that time. I was a senior in highschool, and I wanted a date for the things seniors do.”

  “I was never very sociable. I always concentrated on my studies instead. But, we were just friends. True, we were good friends. We did everything together for that year. Well, until she ordered me away. But, it was never a serious relationship. I never had any intentions of marrying Eileen. It really started as a friendship between her brother and me. Then, we tried to get him to get out by taking him with us. We did start dating without her brother, but again, it was more for convenience so we would both have a date for things. She never was very sociable, either. Having her brother to care for hindered her building friendships. We were sort of two of a kind. Neither of us had friends or dates. Just remember that. You are the only one I have loved. You are my first and, I hope, my last love. I have never been married, engaged, or even serious about anyone before you.”

  “Thanks for explaining it. It is not jealousy. It is something else. I promise I will let you know as soon as I can. But, I have to work some things out for myself. Thanks for understanding.”

  “I didn’t say I understood, because I don’t. But, I do honor your desire for some distance. I won’t call or come by. I will leave it up to you to call me. But, please, Christine, don’t just drop me with no notice. If you decide you can’t care for me like I do you, and you want to break up, please promise you will call me. I don’t want to be left hanging with no closure. I have to know what your decision is. I need you to tell me what is going on. Will you promise me that?”

  “I will call in a few days either way. Just leave us alone for that period of time.”

  After Richard left, Christine felt a mixture of feelings. On one hand, she was relieved that she wouldn’t have to worry about her mother being in his care, but on the other hand she felt desolate, like a part of her had been pulled apart. She really did love Richard, and it hurt so much to have to doubt him. But, he hadn’t been open with her about his relationship with Eileen. Or, a least it didn’t seem as if he had. She would just withhold judgement until she had a chance to check it out.

  Christine didn’t say anything to her mother except that Richard had agreed to leave them alone until she could check out some things. She told her if he came around to not let him in, and to let her know immediately. She tried to know not let her know what was happening. She didn’t want her mother to worry, and she also didn’t want to say anything to her mother if it turned out to be nothing. She would request to get off when she went in to work the next day. She would spend the day in research.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Christine was off on Wednesday. She started by going to the vital records office and looking up information about Richard’s family. She had started a genealogy project for school a coupl
e of years ago, so knew how to at least begin. She did not find anything at all about a marriage. She decided to look at Eileen’s family records. She had asked Richard for her place of residence and for her family names, including her mother’s maiden name. Richard knew a lot about them, which made Christine worried about whether he had been completely honest with her. But, he did say he had gotten very close to James, so maybe there was nothing unusual about that.

  Christine had examined several records. She loved looking through records, and often got lost in reading them. She did that this time as well.

  She had spent a couple of hours pouring over records after she gathered them to the table provided in the vital records office. She had been reading older and older records just for fun.

  She hadn’t really thought about checking birth records, and knew adoption records wouldn’t be available. But, she remembered that when birth certificates were changed at an adoption, they did show the adoptive family as the birth family, but they also showed the date of registration as something other than right after birth.

  Depending on when James was supposed to have been adopted, if he indeed was, she could check the registration date. At least she could find the date, then check with Eileen as to what the exact date was that he was adopted, then compare the date of the record of birth and see how it compared. It may or may not help. If he was adopted at birth, then that wouldn’t help, but it was worth a try.

  Christine broke for lunch, then went to a pay phone to call Eileen. She could have used her cell phone, but didn’t really want Eileen to have any more information that she already did. She knew she had her home phone number, because she had called her there. Of course, she could also get her address from the phone company. But, she just didn’t want to reveal her cell number to her, for some reason. She felt like her privacy had been invaded, since she had not given any information to Eileen at all, and she knew so much about her already. She had even known about her mother’s illness. She really didn’t know how Eileen had found out all this. But, she just wanted to keep something private, and the cell phone number was something Eileen probably didn’t know.

  Christine dialed the number Eileen had given her. Eileen answered the phone herself.

  “Eileen,” Christine began, after Eileen had answered. “This is Christine. I want to ask you a couple of questions if it is okay with you. I am trying to do some research and try to decide what is going on with Richard.”

  “You didn’t tell him I talked to you, did you?” Eileen seemed truly frightened at the prospect. “He will get even with us if you do. Please tell me you didn’t tell him.” Eileen sounded frantic.

  “I didn’t tell him about you,” Christine reassured her. “I did ask him some pointed questions, and he was somewhat evasive, it seemed. I want to check some facts out before I make up my mind.”

  “I don’t see what there is to check, if he didn’t tell you about me. But, I will be glad to help in any way I can, as long as you don’t tell Richard I am helping, or even that I contacted you.”

  “When did James get adopted? And, when and where did you and Richard get married and divorced? Those are the only questions I need answered at this time. I may have more later, but I will see what I find out from this.”

  “I don’t see what you will find out from that information, but I will gladly give it to you. We were married two years ago, on February fourteenth, here in my hometown. We were divorced last year on November ninth. James was adopted when he was one year old. He was a foster child before that, placed in our home.”

  Christine hung up, very puzzled. Eileen seemed very open about all the information, and very assured. It must all be true. She never hesitated on the dates. It was as if she really had facts to support her claims. Christine was almost afraid to look up the facts. Afraid she would have to face that Richard was deceiving her, and that Eileen was being truthful.

  She didn’t realize until just then how much she was hoping that Richard was right, and Eileen was just living in a sick fantasy. That made her feel bad, to realize she was hoping someone was that sick. But, her whole life depended on Eileen being sick and making it all up.

  In fact, her very lifetime happiness depended on the outcome of Eileen’s account. She had already loved and lost one time, and if Richard turned out to be what Eileen says he was, then she had lost a second time. She didn’t have the heart to try again. If Richard was what Eileen claimed, then she would just never have a man in her life again. She would be doomed to be alone for the rest of her life.

  When Christine got back to the vital statistics office, she pulled the copy of the birth certificate for James. If he was adopted, as Eileen said, then his birth certificate would show it being registered the year he was adopted. She knew this from doing some research on her own family for the school project. There were several people in her family that had been adopted. She discovered that the birth certificate was redone showing the adoptive parents as if they were the birth parents. But, the certificate always was shown registered after the adoption.

  Christine was shocked when she looked at the birth certificate, and encouraged as well. The birth certificate plainly showed Eileen’s parents as birth parents, and the registration was five days after his birth. So, they were the birth parents. Why would Eileen lie about that? Did that mean that she had lied about everything else? Or, did she lie about that so Christine wouldn’t suspect her of being mentally ill?

  Christine hurriedly checked marriage and divorce records for the dates Eileen had given her. There was nothing at all about Eileen or Richard there.

  So, Eileen had lied to her. But, why? What did she hope to gain my slamming Richard? Was she still in love with him, hoping to get him back? Why would she try to sabotage Christine and Richard?

  It was a mystery, but apparently all that Eileen had told her was fictitious. Christine didn’t dare hope, but she intended to confront Eileen with it all, then try and repair her relationship with Richard. She had probably hurt him too much for him to be able to forgive her. She knew how it felt when a loved one didn’t trust you. Maybe he would just leave forever.

  Christine was desolate, thinking about the hurt she had caused. She had to get to Richard and apologize. She hoped he loved her enough to get past this.

  Christine decided to go to Eileen in person about this. It was too important to try and handle over the phone. She called and made an appointment to meet at the same place they had before. Eileen showed up promptly. Christine began right in to question her.

  “Eileen,” Christine began. “I know for a fact that James was not adopted at one year old. The birth certificate shows your parents as his parents, and the certificate was registered five days after his birth. So, what gives? Why did you lie?”

  “You checked that? Why?”

  “Because I had to know if you were lying or not. Richard is very important to me, but I have to know the truth. I checked out the things you told me. Why did you lie about this?”

  “I was afraid you would not believe me if I told you I was his real sister. I was afraid you would think I had schizophrenia, too, and was lying. I assure you. I did not lie about the other things. Just about James. I didn’t want you to doubt me.”

  “Well, I also know you lied about the marriage and divorce. I checked the vital records for those dates. There is no reference to your marriage or divorce. I also cross-checked by your names, for the whole year. There is not reference to any marriage or divorce for either of you. So, I know you lied about that, too. I don’t know why you lied. I wish I did, as it would make my decision easier. If you could see fit to tell me why you lied, I would really appreciate it. I just want to know the truth, whatever it is.”

  Eileen suddenly buried her head in her hands and began to sob uncontrollably. Christine felt great sympathy for her, but kept silent. She hoped that when Eileen recovered from the tears she might be ready to tell her the truth. Even though Christine wasn’t sure she would believe anything else
that Eileen told her, she would at least like to hear her explanation about why she told all those lies. And, lies that were so easy to disprove. What had been her motive?

  After several seconds, Eileen began to calm down, just hiccuping from time to time. She took a napkin and began to dry her eyes.

  “I am sorry I lied to you. I am sure you will see why when I explain. It was so important that I get through to you that I made it tried to make it more intense. It is true we never married. We did get engaged, and planned to marry. But, I broke it off. Everything else I told you about Richard and what he did is true. He did try to get all our money. He did have something to do with my mother’s death. I am sure of that.”

  Christine didn’t really believe Eileen anymore. But, she would have to question Richard about it, and hope it didn’t further drive them apart. She just had to know. She thought she could tell by his reaction whether he was being truthful or not. But, Eileen was so sincere with her story that she had been fooled. Well, at least partly. She had heard, though, that people who believed their own story, like someone who lost touch with reality and believed a lie, they could even fool lie detector tests because to them it wasn’t a lie. It was truth, in their perception of reality. She was pretty confident that Richard didn’t have any mental illness that would make him unaware of the true reality. So, if he was lying, she should be able to pick up on it.