Book of Odds
Page 5
The odds a woman considers social life as the most important in a significant other 1 in 6.3
The odds a woman considers work or life habits as the most important in a significant other 1 in 9.1
The odds a woman considers age as the most important in a significant other 1 in 20
The odds a woman considers ethnicity as the most important in a significant other 1 in 33.3
The odds a woman considers profession as the most important in a significant other 1 in 50
The odds a woman considers political views as the most important in a significant other 1 in 100
The odds a woman considers income as the most important in a significant other 1 in 100
SOURCE: Yahoo! Personals and TheKnot.com, “Dating Survey: Women on Finding ‘The One.’”
Where and How People Met
SOURCE: MA Rosenfeld, RJ Thomas, “Table 5: How Americans Met Their Spouses and Current Partners,” How Couples Meet and Stay Together, Waves I and II, Public Version 2.04 [Computer file]. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Libraries, 2011–January 2012.
The Odds of Meeting Your Partner on a Blind Date: 1 in 34.5
Things as likely…
Meeting your partner through church
A man has bipolar disorder
A death row inmate is widowed
A male college athlete is a pathological gambler
SOURCES: MA Rosenfeld, RJ Thomas, “Table 5: How Americans Met Their Spouses and Current Partners,” How Couples Meet and Stay Together, Waves I and II, Public Version 2.04 [Computer file]. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Libraries, 2011–January 2012. Harvard School of Medicine, “National Comorbidity Survey (NCS-R) Appendix Tables,” July 19, 2007. Bureau of Justice Statistics, “Capital Punishment, 2008–Statistical Tables,” 2009–2008. National Collegiate Athletic Association, “NCAA Study on Collegiate Wagering,” November 13, 2009.
What’s Your Main Weapon?
The odds a man thinks his main weapon to attract women is his...
sense of humor 1 in 2.9
charm 1 in 5.3
confidence 1 in 7.1
intelligence 1 in 7.7
conversational skills 1 in 11.1
looks 1 in 12.5
money 1 in 100
talent 1 in 100
SOURCE: AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2009 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2009_great_male_survey.
It’s the Alcohol
The odds an adult in a relationship met his or her partner at a New Year’s Eve party: 1 in 465.
SOURCE: Harris Interactive and eHarmony.com, “Relationship Status,” Valentine Poll 2006, Table 1.
GENDER WARS
1 in 12.5 women will consider the person she is dating to be her boyfriend or girlfriend after 3–5 dates. Men are twice as likely to make that leap.
SOURCE: Yahoo! Personals, “What Does America Think About Breakups,” July 2006.
Maybe Opposites Don’t Attract
The odds a woman will report she is similar to her partner in:
age: 1 in 1.1
income: 1 in 1.4
ethnicity: 1 in 1.2
social life: 1 in 1.1
political views: 1 in 1.2
work or life habits: 1 in 1.2
religious orientation: 1 in 1.2
SOURCE: Yahoo! Personals and TheKnot.com, “Dating Survey: Women on Finding ‘The One.’”
In a given year, 1 in 17.5 full-time employed adults will date the boss.
SOURCE: Book of Odds estimate based on Annual CareerBuilder.com Valentine’s Day Survey, February 2009, http://www.careerbuilder.com/share/aboutus/pressreleasesdetail.aspx.
Online Lies
Many people stretch the truth in their online dating profiles, and when it comes to lies about body size, men and women are almost equal offenders. The odds an online dater will lie about weight on his or her profile are about the same for each sex: about 1 in 1.7.
Singles frequently misrepresent their height as well, and in this case men are more likely than women to lie—1 in 1.8 vs. 1 in 1.9. There’s a good reason for this. A study of online dating by Duke University found that tall men have such an advantage when it comes to attracting women that in order to match the dating success of a man one inch taller, a 5'9" man would have to make $35,000–$40,000 a year more.
As for telling the truth about age, in one study only 1 in 7.6 women lied about it, while nearly a quarter (1 in 4.3) of the men did. But the study found most people who stretch the truth do so by small amounts, on average “adjusting” their weight by only 5.5%, and their height and age by even less.
But some lies are potentially more hurtful and harder to detect upon meeting. The odds an adult Internet user thinks people on online dating sites often lie about being married are 1 in 1.8.
SOURCES: CL Toma, JT Hancock, NB Ellison, “Separating Fact from Fiction: An Examination of Deceptive Self-Presentation in Online Dating Profiles,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 34(8), August 2008: 1023–1036. Pew Internet and American Life Project, “September 2005 Daily Tracking Survey/Online Dating Extension,” 2005. E Frazier, “Online Love Life: World’s Just Not Fair,” Charlotte Observer, February 13, 2010.
Is Love Really a Click Away?
eHarmony has claimed in television or online ads in the US, UK, and Australia that it’s responsible for 2% of all new US marriages, based on a twelve-month survey that concluded in March 2007. A 2010 study sponsored by Match.com also has some intriguing numbers.
The study surveyed people who had married during the previous five-year period, and 1 in 5.9 people had met his or her spouse through an online dating site—making these sites the third most common way people meet future partners, just after work/school and family/friends. Happily for the corporate sponsor, twice as many couples had met through Match.com as the nearest competitor. And the numbers had been consistent over a three-year period and been performed by independent research organizations. The bar and club scene is proving less successful. Over the three-year period surveyed, the percentage of married couples who found each other through “bars/clubs/other social events” dropped from 11% to 8%.
SOURCES: C Bialik, “Marriage-Maker Claims Are Tied in Knots,” The Numbers Guy, Wall Street Journal, July 29, 2009. Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey, “Marriage Survey,” Recent Trends: Online Dating, http://cp.match.com/cppp/media/CMB_Study.pdf.
Why There Was No Second Date
The odds a woman will become uninterested if a first date says “you remind me of my ex” are 1 in 1.5.
The odds a woman will be bothered if a man expects her to help pay for a date are 1 in 2.2.
The odds a man believes good hygiene is necessary before a man can be considered handsome are 1 in 4.4.
The odds a woman will report that she has dumped a man because of his body odor are 1 in 7.1.
The odds an unmarried adult is dating for casual sex are 1 in 33.3.
SOURCES: Yahoo! Personals, “What Does America Think About Breakups?,” July 2006. JA Persch, “It’s Complicated: Who Pays on Dates,” Personal Finance, MSNBC.com, March 8, 2008, htttp://msnbc.msn.com/id/23244363/ns/business-personal_finance. Synovate, “Synovate Global Male Beauty Survey Uncovers Attitudes and Perceptions Towards Appearances and Male Beauty Products,” press release, December 2008. J Weaver, “What Are Our Dating Pet Peeves?,” Elle/MSNBC.com Sex and Beauty Survey, MSNBC.com, May 5, 2005, http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7736649. Harris Interactive, Chemistry.com Relationship Survey by 2007, http://www.chemistry.com/relationshipcentral/rcfacts.aspx.
Interracial Dating
In 2010 about 15% of American marriages were interracial or cross-ethnic—twice the rate of 1980. Today the odds a person “would be fine with it” if a member of his or her family were to marry someone outside his or her racial or ethnic group are 1 in 1.6, a dramatic change since 1986, when only 1 in 3 people viewed intermarriage as okay for everyone. In fact, 1 in 2.9 people now has a close relative married
to someone of a different race.
When it comes to interracial dating, young adults are twice as likely to approve of it as their grandparents. The odds an adult between the ages of 18 and 29 approves of a mixed-race (black and white) couple are 1 in 1.1, compared to 1 in 2.2 among adults 65 or older. The odds a person has dated someone of a different racial background are 1 in 2.1.
However, some lingering prejudice can still be found among adults when it comes to which gender should be black and which one should be white. The odds an adult disapproves of a black man dating a white woman dating are 1 in 4.6, compared to 1 in 5.3 odds that an adult disapproves of a white man dating a black woman.
Despite the general public’s preference, nuptials generally go the other way. Of all black male newlyweds in 2010, 1 in 4.2 married outside their race, compared with just 1 in 11.9 of black female newlyweds.
SOURCES: JM Jones, “Most Americans Approve of Interracial Dating,” Gallup News Service, October 7, 2005. W Wang, “The Rise of Intermarriage: Rates Characteristics Vary by Race and Gender,” Social & Demographic Trends, Pew Research Center, February 16, 2012.
Who Pays for the Date—and Who Cares?
The odds a woman will...
offer to pay for a date 1 in 1.8
be bothered if a man accepts her offer to pay for a date 1 in 2.9
be bothered if a man refuses to accept her offer to pay for a date 1 in 2.2
SOURCES: JA Persch, “It’s Complicated: Who Pays on Dates,” Personal Finance, msnbc.com, March 8, 2008, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23244363/ns/business-personal_finance// AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating and Sex,” The Great Female Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/yahoo_shine_great_female_survey/part1.html. AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2011_great_male_survey.
The odds a man thinks it’s important for his girlfriend to have “wife potential,” and won’t bother pursuing a relationship with a woman who doesn’t have it: 1 in 2.9.
The odds a woman believes it is important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential” and won’t bother pursuing a relationship with a man who doesn’t have it: 1 in 2.6.
SOURCES: AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2011_great_male_survey. AskMen.com, “Q1,” The Great Female Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_female_survey.
ODDS COUPLE
Do We Need to Get Out More?
The odds a male massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) player has ever dated someone he met through an MMORPG are 1 in 6.4.
The odds a man 45–49 has never been married are 1 in 6.1.
SOURCES: N Yee, “The Psychology of MMORPGs: Emotional Investment, Motivations, Relationship Formation, and Problematic Usage,” in Avatars at Work and Play: Collaboration and Interaction in Shared Virtual Environments, eds. R Schroeder and A Axelsson, (London: Springer-Verlag, 2006, 187–207. http://www.nickyee.com/index-papers.html. US Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, 2010, Annual Social and Economic Supplement.
Interview with William Cane, Author of THE ART OF KISSING
Why do we kiss?
The main reason is to express our affection. Another reason is cultural—we’re surrounded by TV shows and movies where kissing is extremely important in a romantic context, so we learn through a kind of osmosis. And the third reason is, as Freud pointed out, we all go through various stages of development, the first of which is the oral stage, and so, certainly it’s still a part of our pleasure drive—oral contact is a lot of fun.
You say that the lips have a lot of nerve endings.
The tip of the tongue has more nerve endings than any other part of the body. It’s extremely sensitive. And most people don’t realize the lips themselves have taste sensors so it’s not only the tongue but the inner part of the lips that can taste things; so when you kiss you’re actually tasting your partner.
You list statistics in The Art of Kissing—for example, 67% of men don’t mind if a woman’s wearing lipstick when kissing, 53% of women prefer a clean-shaven man, and 33% of people open their eyes while kissing. Do you have favorite statistics?
Women’s favorite spot to be kissed, other than the mouth, is the neck. 96% of women reported that they like neck kisses, while only about 10% of men do, so a guy will not even believe that a girl likes being kissed on the neck because it doesn’t really do anything for him. So I tell guys to move or slide off the lips occasionally down to the neck, and that will produce big results. And women like being kissed on the ears much more than men do.
So the odds a neck kiss will succeed on a woman are 1 in 1.04. What about men?
Men often respond most to the French kiss, whereas women often respond to a romantic kiss. Guys will say they’re not really getting excited unless there is some tongue contact, while girls will often say if you’re passionate and loving, a lip kiss is good enough. You don’t have to rush in and, you know, trigger the gag reflex with the tongue. The number one mistake girls make in kissing is not opening their mouths wide enough—probably because the guy is trying to initiate a French kiss.
SOURCES: Book of Odds interview with William Cane, 2010. W Cane, The Art of Kissing, rev. ed., New York, St. Martin’s Press, 1995.
The first kiss is notoriously nerve-racking—and for good reason. A research survey from the University of Albany found that 59% of men and 66% of women lost their attraction for someone after kissing them for the first time.
SOURCE: R Alleyne, “AAAS First Kiss is Screening Process for Potential Mates,” The Telegraph, February 13, 2009, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/4611149/AAAS-First-kiss-is-screening-process-for-potential-mates.html.
ODDS COUPLE
Owning First Base
The odds a woman kissed her partner on their first date: 1 in 1.9
The odds an MLB game will be won by the home team: 1 in 1.9
SOURCES: Yahoo! Personals and TheKnot.com, “Dating Survey: Women on Finding ‘The One.’” Book of Odds estimate based on data from: Game Logs, Retrosheet, Table Retrosheet Game Logs 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006.
The odds that an undergraduate student 18 or older has kissed at least 20 members of the opposite sex: 1 in 4.3
SOURCE: Book of Odds estimate based on data from SM Hughes, MA Harrison, GG Gallup, “Sex Differences in Romantic Kissing Among College Students: An Evolutionary Perspective,” Evolutionary Psychology 5(3), 2007: 12–631.
The odds a homosexual or bisexual man is in a steady relationship with a man and they live together: 1 in 5
The odds he is in a steady relationship with a woman and lives with her: 1 in 2.4
SOURCE: JA Davis, TW Smith, PV Marsden, General Social Surveys, 1972–2008 [CUMULATIVE FILE] [Computer file] ICPSR04697 v. 1., Chicago: National Opinion Research Center [producer], 2009; Storrs, CT: Roper Center for Public Opinion Research, University of Connecticut/Ann Arbor, MI: Inter-university Consortium for Political and Social Research [distributors].
If I Had One Wish
1 in 3.3 men would change his partner’s attitude or moodiness vs. 1 in 6.7 women.
1 in 4 men would change nothing about his partner vs. 1 in 5.6 women.
1 in 5.1 men would change his partner’s lack of sexual appetite vs. 1 in 25 women.
1 in 11.2 men would change his partner’s looks vs. 1 in 33.3 women.
1 in 18.7 men would change his partner’s domestic skills vs. 1 in 33.3 women.
1 in 56 men would change his partner’s intelligence vs. 1 in 100 women.
SOURCES: AskMen.com, “Part I: Dating & Sex,” The Great Male Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/2011_great_male_survey. AskMen.com, “Q7,” The Great Female Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_female_survey.
Women Want Other Changes, Too
1 in 16.7 women would change her partner’s laziness.
1 in 16.7 women
would change her partner’s level of ambition.
1 in 20 women would change her partner’s income.
1 in 33.3 women would change her partner’s jealousy.
SOURCE: AskMen.com, “Q7,” The Great Female Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_female_survey.
1 in 40
The odds a traditional Sweethearts candy says “FIRST KISS.”
SOURCE: Book of Odds estimate based on production data provided by Aimee Scott, brand manager, New England Confectionery Company.
GENDER WARS
The odds an unmarried man 40–69 who dates thinks it’s okay to have sex on the first date: 1 in 5
The odds an unmarried woman 40–69 who dates thinks it’s okay: 1 in 50
SOURCES: AskMen.com, “Q10,” The Great Female Survey, 2011 Edition, http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_female_survey.
The odds an unmarried man 40–69 is gay: 1 in 14.3
The odds an unmarried woman 40–69 is gay: 1 in 33.3
SOURCE: XP Montenegro, “Lifestyles, Dating, and Romance: A Study of Midlife Singles,” AARP The Magazine, September 2003.
The odds a man will report that he has suggested his partner lose weight: 1 in 2.4
The odds a man will report that he has suggested his partner get plastic surgery: 1 in 8
The odds a man will report that he has suggested his partner get breast enlargements: 1 in 12.7
The odds a man will report that he has suggested his partner get liposuction: 1 in 50
The odds a man will report that he has suggested his partner get breast reductions: 1 in 66.7