Ready To Love Again

by Annalyse Knight

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  Ready to Love Again

  By

  Annalyse Knight

  First published by The Writer’s Coffee Shop, 2014

  Copyright © Annalyse Knight, 2014

  The right of Annalyse Knight to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  All characters and events in this Book – even those sharing the same name as (or based on) real people – are entirely fictional. No person, brand, or corporation mentioned in this Book should be taken to have endorsed this Book nor should the events surrounding them be considered in any way factual.

  This Book is a work of fiction and should be read as such.

  The Writer’s Coffee Shop

  (Australia) PO Box 447 Cherrybrook NSW 2126

  (USA) PO Box 2116 Waxahachie TX 75168

  Paperback ISBN- 978-1-61213-321-8

  E-book ISBN- 978-1-61213-322-5

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the US Congress Library.

  Cover Images: © depositphotos.com / ArchManStocker, © depositphotos.com / avgustino, © depositphotos.com / wolterke

  Cover Design: Niina Cord / http://niinascoverdesign.weebly.com/

  www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/aknight

  Dedication

  To my children, Daniel, Emily, and Rebekah.

  Chapter 1

  “Dr. Blue-Eyes,” Sadie sang in her Mary Poppins-like voice. “You’re needed in the ER. They’ve been paging you for the last five minutes.”

  Dr. Chase O’Donnell pulled his pager off his belt as he came out of the exam room, eyeing it with weary contempt when he realized the battery was dead. He took the chart he’d taken from Pediatrics and tossed it on the nurses’ station when he passed.

  “Can you take care of this for me?” he asked, ignoring Sadie’s teasing.

  The white-haired nurse picked up the chart. She pointed a plump finger in his direction and winked with a mischievous smile. “Anything for you, Dr. Blue.”

  He rolled his eyes and turned around to look at her while walking backward. “You’re a big tease, Sadie.”

  Sadie sniggered and waved him away. Chase had heard the name Dr. Blue muttered in the halls even before his colleagues confirmed that it was the nurses’ nickname for him. When Sadie caught wind of it, she’d shut them down and told them if she heard it again, she’d write them up. Of course, it didn’t stop her from teasing him relentlessly herself.

  Chase rounded the corner to the emergency room and came face-to-face with the head nurse on duty. Julie was a stern-looking woman in her mid-forties. Her dark red hair was pulled back in a tight twist and seemed to fit the perpetual scowl on her face. Despite her demeanor, Chase appreciated her attention to detail. She’d saved his ass on more than one occasion after he returned to work following his leave of absence. He put up with her abrupt attitude because she was thorough and got the job done. If he were honest with himself, he’d admit that he was a little intimidated by her, too.

  “Dr. O’Donnell,” Julie greeted him. “We have a twenty-five-year-old female en route in hypovolemic shock with extensive injuries to her upper body and head from a motor vehicle collision. She’s losing large amounts of blood through lacerations to her neck. A witness managed to slow the flow before paramedics arrived. She’s unresponsive. Blood pressure is seventy over forty-five and falling. Heart rate one twenty-seven.”

  He nodded. It would be a miracle if she made it to the hospital alive.

  “How soon?” Chase asked.

  “ETA is two minutes.”

  Chase turned to see Dr. Lee burst out of the trauma room. “We’re getting the OR ready,” Lee said when he brushed past Chase. “Everything should be in place by the time we’ve evaluated her injuries.”

  A siren echoed through the canyon as they stepped out onto the dock and waited for the ambulance to make its appearance through the cypress trees of Skyline Forest. Chase looked out over the treetops and took in the scenic beauty of the Monterey Peninsula. Living in California was a gift, but it was rare for him to get a chance to appreciate the beauty that surrounded him. He took in the small amount of tranquility he could before the ambulance arrived and the chaos of his profession broke his reverie.

  Everyone jumped into action to fulfill their roles in attempting to save the life of the patient. Chase’s blood pumped through his veins, and the adrenaline rush put him on high alert.

  Every reflex and sense sharpened when they pulled the woman out of the ambulance and wheeled her into the trauma room. Chase stood behind Julie and let the trauma team evaluate her injuries while he mentally assessed the damage himself. Dr. Lee barked out orders while he examined the woman on the table. Stepping closer, Chase took note of the pink, frothy sputum coming up the tube before the nurse suctioned it out. Pulmonary hemorrhage.

  He loathed the helpless feeling that overcame him while they continued to try to stop the bleeding. This was the part of his job he hated—waiting. It would be amazing if they got her on the operating table before she coded. Chase closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to focus on what he needed to do when they wheeled her into the OR. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep away the memories.

  “Will you shut up and get out of the car?” she said with a laugh. “You, Mr. Control Freak, will not dictate this night.”

  Chase’s eyes snapped open, and his heart accelerated. He ground his teeth together to control the onslaught of emotions that washed over him. This was not the time or the place to reflect on the past. He was brought back to the present when Dr. Lee rattled off the scope of his patient’s injuries.

  Chase glanced down at the woman on the table. The ashen hue of her skin forced another unwanted memory on him, but he quickly blocked it from his mind. The beep of the heart monitor accelerated as her heart rate increased. He watched while the blood pressure monitor steadily dropped.

  Damn it.

  “You’re losing her!” he yelled over the methodical preparations.

  The alert of the heart monitor registering a flatline brought an immediate halt to their course as everyone raced to respond to the code. A crash cart was wheeled from the corner of the room, and Dr. Lee ordered the administration of epinephrine to try to stimulate the patient’s heart.

  “I can’t get a pressure,” Julie said. The machines connected to the woman confirmed what they already knew. She’d been too far gone.

  The room fell still while they gave the woman they’d been unable to save a moment of silence. “Call it,” Chase said to Dr. Lee.

  “Does anyone have any objections to calling the code?” Dr. Lee ask
ed. When no one challenged his decision, he let out a long sigh and looked down at the patient. “Time of death, 12:17.”

  He gave Chase a halfhearted nod in acknowledgment as he ripped off his gloves, then ran his hand through his graying hair. The weariness and frustration in his eyes was something Chase understood. Dr. Lee couldn’t have done anything more, but that never stopped the disappointment and guilt that came with this part of the job.

  “I’ll inform the family. Go take a break,” Chase whispered. Dr. Lee nodded, placed a hand on his Chase’s shoulder, then walked out.

  Chase looked down at the woman and shook his head. Twenty-five years old. It was too soon for her life to end. He picked up her hand and eyed the simple gold band wrapped around her slender finger. She was someone’s wife. He wondered if she had children.

  She had long blond hair. Like Terri’s. Chase’s heart stuttered at the memory of his wife. He knew how this woman’s husband would feel when he realized she hadn’t made it.

  A nurse popped her head in the room. “Dr. O’Donnell?”

  How long have I been standing here?

  “Mr. Allen’s waiting in the Family Conference Room.”

  Chase nodded, dismissing the nurse before he tried to prepare himself for the task at hand. He yanked off his gloves and threw them away. Emotions burned at the back of his eyes, and he pushed them back, determined not to let his own grief get in the way of doing his job. Forcing his hand through his hair, he dreaded the moment that would change this family’s life forever. Walking toward the room, he knew that no matter how he delivered the news it would still be painful. The only thing he could do was offer compassion while keeping his own emotions in check.

  ~*~

  Chase looked at the clock on his phone before he dialed.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, my beautiful sister. I’m just now leaving the hospital. Do you want me to pick something up for dinner?”

  “Nope. Daniel’s coming over, so I have it covered.”

  “Okay, I’ll be home in about fifteen.”

  Chase heard Anthony giggle in the background before he hung up, and he smiled to himself at the sound of his carefree nine-year-old son. Terri used to call him her little heartbreaker. A memory flashed through Chase’s mind of Terri sitting on the balcony of their home, cuddling Tony in a blanket while she read to him.

  A solitary tear slid down Chase’s cheek, and he swiped it away, annoyed that after three years it still hurt. He needed to get through the evening. After he’d played his role as a father, he could surrender to the despair of the day.

  He pulled into the driveway and took a moment to admire his home before he climbed out of his car. The house was beautiful but was second to the view it held. The property sat on a small cliff edge that overlooked Carmel Beach and the Pacific Ocean. Surrounded by Monterey cypress trees, the house blended well with the environment and gave him plenty of privacy from the neighbors. On the outside, it looked like a small cottage, but it was one of the larger homes in the neighborhood.

  Terri loved this place.

  She’d put all her free time into making it a home. Raised flowerbeds made from Carmel stone surrounded the teak deck. She loved the Japanese Tea Gardens in San Francisco, so she had him plant cherry trees against the fence. Chase took a deep breath and inhaled their sweet fragrance while he made his way across the patio. Terri had decorated the interior with local artists’ paintings and sculptures, giving the rooms a modern look with a hint of ocean-side charm. He opened the French doors off the back patio and went inside, smelling something delicious.

  “Dad’s home!” Tony yelled. Chase heard his son thump down the stairs before Tony turned the corner to the kitchen and stuck out his hand for a fist bump.

  “Hey there, slugger. How was your day?” He ruffled Tony’s wild hair and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead.

  “We went with Aunt Gina to fly kites out on the beach, and mine flew the highest,” Tony boasted while he peeked at Liz, who was standing in the doorway.

  Chase waited for the quarrel that was sure to follow her brother’s bragging. It never came. Instead, she rolled her eyes and walked toward Gina’s room, ignoring them both. Chase never knew when a small infraction would send her into a tantrum. She had been eight years old when their mother died and had the hardest time coping with the loss, but he’d seen a subtle change over the last few months.

  “So did you save any lives today, Dad?” Tony asked with excitement in his voice.

  Chase cringed at the question. He’d vowed a long time ago to keep his work out of his personal life, so he smiled and nodded.

  “Sure did, slugger.” He had an appendectomy earlier in the day, so it wasn’t a complete lie.

  “Totally cool!” Tony grabbed an apple then ran out of the room.

  “Mmmm, I think it’s almost done,” Gina said as she swept into the kitchen and opened the oven.

  “Smells good. Whatcha cookin’, good-lookin’?” Chase lifted the lid off the pot on the stove while his sister pulled out what looked like homemade French bread.

  “Spaghetti. Daniel’s recipe. He should be here in a minute.”

  Gina swatted his hands away from the pot and grabbed a spoon, stirring the thick red sauce. Her long, dark hair spilled over her shoulder, and she held it back while she dipped another spoon in the sauce and tasted it with a sigh of satisfaction.

  “What do you need me to do?” he asked.

  She pointed to a head of romaine, so he got to work. He pulled a knife out of the rack and placed it on the counter while he rummaged in the cupboard for the cutting board.

  Gina looked between him and the knife and made an exasperated noise. “How many times do I have to tell you that you never cut leafy vegetables with a knife?” She walked over to Chase and shoved him out of her way. Pulling off the leaves one at a time, she showed him how she thought he should do it. “You tear it. That way it won’t turn brown.”

  Chase rolled his eyes and bumped her hip, nudging her aside. “I think I can manage making a salad, Gina.” Just to irritate her more, he picked up the knife and went to work, ignoring her instructions.

  She huffed and turned to drain the noodles. “Yes, we all know how well you function in the kitchen,” she mumbled under her breath.

  “I heard that.”

  From then on, they worked in harmony while she told him about the new restaurant her fiancé, Daniel, had procured in the Valley, but it was obvious she was trying to avoid the significance of the day. Gina, Daniel, and his mother had all called him several times under the guise of filling him in on upcoming events or the children’s schedules, but he saw it for what it was—they were checking up on him.

  Gina shuffled out of the kitchen when the doorbell rang, and Chase poked his head into the entry in time to see her jump on Daniel. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands thrust into his brown hair, and she peppered him with kisses. He struggled to hold her weight while gripping a handled paper bag in one hand and a half a dozen roses in the other.

  “Hold on there, sweetheart.” Daniel laughed.

  “I hope you know what you’re getting into, Daniel.” Chase teased from the kitchen.

  “Hey, man. You mind taking these?” He held out the items in his hands. Once Chase had retrieved them, Daniel’s free hands wrapped around Gina’s tiny waist, and he kissed her with enthusiasm. Dismissing the pang in his chest, Chase called his children down for dinner.

  When they were all seated around the dining room table, Chase asked, “So when’s the wedding?” He posed the same question every time Gina and Daniel were together. It was expected. They had been engaged for almost four years, but the wedding plans were postponed when Terri died.

  “We’re getting married on Labor Day weekend,” Gina said with a big grin.

  It took Chase a moment to process what she’d said. “Really?” he asked in surprise. “That’s fantastic.” He stood to give his sister a hug and then reached to shake Daniel’s
hand.

  “Does that mean Daniel’s moving in, too?” Tony’s eyes were wide with excitement until Liz punched him in the arm.

  “No, dummy. It means Aunt Gina is moving out.”

  Chase didn’t have the heart to reprimand Liz for her comment when he saw the tears in her eyes. This transition would be hardest on her because Liz had grown attached to Gina since Chase’s emotional shutdown after Terri died.

  “I’ll still be around,” Gina said. “Daniel doesn’t live far away, and I’ll pick you up from school and hang out with you when your dad’s working.”

  She smiled at Liz and Tony, but Chase observed the guilt in her eyes. An uncomfortable silence filled the room until Tony, oblivious to the tension, let out a long hum of pleasure.

  “Mmmmm, this is really good spaghetti, Aunt Gina.” He shoveled in another mouthful of noodles, sucking them in and letting them slap his face around his mouth.

  “Mom’s was better,” Liz whispered.

  “Elizabeth,” Chase reprimanded, “that was rude. You need to apologize.”

  Gina shook her head and held up her hands. “It’s okay.” She turned back to Liz with a smile. “I know it’s a little different than your mom used to make. Sometimes new things take getting used to.”

  Although Chase understood that Gina was trying to diffuse a tense situation, Liz’s disrespect toward her aunt was bad mannered and needed to be corrected. “Elizabeth, you need to apologize to your aunt,” he said again, his voice a little sterner than before.

  Liz glared at her father from across the table, but Chase arched his eyebrow and waited for her to comply. He wondered how an eleven-year-old girl could look so menacing.

  “Did you forget today was the day Mom died?” she asked with venom in her voice.

  “I remember what today is,” Chase answered. Her increasing agitation made him wary, and he braced himself for what she would say next.

  She leaned forward to continue her interrogation. “Then why didn’t you say anything? Don’t you love her anymore?”

  “Of course I love her.”