Stardust And Shadows

by Janelle Taylor

  “We do, Commander Sard, and thank you for letting my husband take control of it. I assure you that Ryker will do his best to succeed with it.”

  “I have no doubts he will or I would not have agreed to it. The Council and I are hoping that this show of friendship, cooperation, and faith will strengthen our alliance with Prince Ryker.”

  Varian nodded and said, “It will, Commander Sard, it will.”

  They sat down at a conference table. The genial Maffeians were on one side, with Jana and “Ryker” on the other. A false briefing was presented in less than thirty minutes, then lunch was served.

  Jana was afraid Varian would appear at any minute. She hoped Tirol had enough compassion and intelligence to have ordered his grandson not to come. Surely Varian would obey his ruler, no matter how singed his pride and how strong his anger. Their hosts did not mention Varian or anything of the past. Perhaps they were being cautious to avoid offending the Prince and Princess. Even when Tirol mentioned the Wanderlust, he called it “my grandson’s ship.” Jana noted that Council member Segall Garthon, Canissia’s father, did not attend the meeting. It was possible the missing tri-leader had been excluded on purpose because of his reputation as a loose talker. Little would please Jana more than for the spiteful and arrogant Canissia to be exposed before her wedding could take place.

  Jana pushed aside her personal thoughts and worries to listen while the four men completed their discussion of Project Starguard, any possible problems, and how to handle a failure with … Stardusting.

  She was relieved when the briefing and meal ended. At the side of the blond alien and her hands on his arm, she said courteous farewells. Then, she and her mate left for their shuttle which would take them aboard the Wanderlust. Her possessions were already loaded on the shuttle, and she hoped they were proper for the trek ahead.

  During the short flight to the starship, Jana scoffed, “They pretended to be so nice and caring about me. What a farce!”

  “How could they help but be nice to you, Jana? It was obvious to me that they truly like you and are concerned about you.” He didn’t want her breeding ill feelings toward Tirol, Draco, and Brec, so he said what he thought was necessary: the truth. “In fairness, they aren’t responsible for what Varian did to you. They were not on his ship when the trouble began with his defiance. They simply found a safe and logical way to clean up the mess he had made by taking a charl in training for himself.”

  “That doesn’t explain or justify their letting him give …”

  He had forced himself into a rash corner and was compelled to get out by saying, “Present you to me as a birthday and truce token? He owned you, Jana, so he could do as he pleased with you.”

  She almost refuted, No, he couldn’t; I was free! But she realized that was part of her delusion. She had been freed later, by Ryker’s demand. “From talks I overheard, they were in on his sport. On the tape Canissia played during our trip to Darkar, Varian said: ‘If all goes as Grandfather and I plan, I intend to make Ryker an offer he can’t refuse.’ “

  Varian recalled the false statements he had made to Cass to dupe the redhead. His “offer” had accompanied a shake of his fist and his meaning had been: peace or defeat. Soon, he would explain her misinterpretation. He dropped the plaguing subject, as they were in the docking bay of his ship.

  Jana grasped Ryker’s hand as they exited the craft in case Varian was there. Her carefully guarded gaze touched on one past friend: Martella Karsh. The rest of the group gathered in the docking entry were strangers.

  Jana smiled and greeted the female First Lieutenant whom she admired and respected, though she wasn’t certain whether or not the officer could be trusted.

  Martella smiled. “It’s been too long, Jana. You look wonderful.”

  Jana’s gaze roamed the alien female’s leaf-colored eyes and red hair that had a few hints of gray in the short and bouncy curls. “So do you, Martella.” She noticed Martella was wearing a red uniform with gamboge chevrons, instead of the perse with silver stria of her last known rank.

  The charl ex-trainer saw Jana’s line of vision. She explained, “I’m head of security on this voyage. I’m the only one you know aboard. The rest of the crew and your old friends are either on leave or have been assigned to other ships for this task.” Then, the Elite Squad member who knew the truth lied out of necessity and orders: “The Council wanted the lead ship to have the best trained and qualified staff available. I hope we can have a catch-up chat during our long voyage.”

  Though Jana was relieved to learn only Martella from the past voyage was present, it made her suspicious. “I’m sure that can be arranged,” she answered sweetly.

  “Let me introduce you and Prince Ryker to the rest of the officers.” As she was told the officers’ names, ranks, and positions, Jana saw each man or woman nod a greeting which Ryker returned in like kind along with a clasped wrist gesture which she had learned was the equivalent of a handshake on Earth. During this session, she did nothing more than nod.

  Only one of the two Elite Squad members present—Martella Karsh—was aware of Varian’s secret identity and the motive behind it. Zade, who had taken Nigel’s place, was ordered to prevent any dissension among crew members about “Ryker Triloni” taking command of this ship and mission. Martella was present to handle any problems that might arise and to carry out any secret communications necessary. She also provided a friendly face for his beloved Jana.

  “My wife and I will get settled in this afternoon then join you for dinner and a briefing tonight at seven,” the disguised Varian said. “I’m sure we’ll get along fine during our long voyage. Officer Zade, I hope you’ll have reports from any affected areas with you tonight.”

  “Yes, Prince Ryker,” the dark-haired officer replied. “We’ll use the conference room near your quarters. I’ll direct you there myself if you’re ready, sir. Crewmen will bring your things to you within a few minutes.”

  “Yes, we are ready. Come, Jana.” He clasped her hand.

  Jana glanced at Martella, smiled, and departed with her husband. She had dreaded facing the crew again and enduring their gossip. It was with trepidation that she entered Varian’s quarters once more. This was her ex-lover’s room. She was back where it all began: her abduction, training, ill-fated love affair, and betrayal.

  Shortly after entering the haunting location, Jana made a shocking discovery. She opened the closet in the dressing room by pressing a button release and found that all of her old clothes, possessions, and gifts were there! She didn’t know why Varian had removed them from Tirol’s—the last place she had lived before going to Darkar—and placed them here, but she wondered if it was his way of reminding her of the bittersweet past they had shared. Was it a selfish attempt to evoke memories and emotions best left buried? She couldn’t grasp why he had even kept them. Canissia would be furious and jealous if she made this curious discovery.

  Jana looked at the miniature painting of a Talias in full bloom; it was a souvenir from a trip to a local museum shortly before her phony auction. Varian had purchased it because it had reminded them of the flowers they had seen near a waterfall during her voyage here. He had plucked one near the streambank and given it to her, proving he could and would break the law when it suited him! Just as he had disobeyed orders by making her his mistress! She picked up the necklace he had given her along their treacherous path; it was a cluster of flowers on a gold chain with stems that formed the Maffeian letters for V and S. As if a foreboding, the piece of jewelry had been made by a craftsman on Caguas, the planet Darkar orbited. When she had teased him about “advertising his prior ownership,” he had chuckled and said, “I wouldn’t want you to forget me.” As if she ever could! She lifted the flowers to expose five tiny pictures of the two of them at special moments. She gazed at the sapphire-eyed, sable-haired alien who could still cause her heart to flutter and her body to enflame. She remembered each occasion and wanted to sob in anguish. She snapped the gold flowers shut an
d flung the item into a drawer. Perhaps Varian had wanted her to know he hadn’t forgotten her. Perhaps he hadn’t wanted to get rid of her. Perhaps he still wanted her. It was certain he had never expected his half brother to marry her and … Take her out of his reach forever? Her dilemma always returned to the starship commander’s motive for betraying her.

  Jana recalled that her birthday present—a gold bracelet— had been discarded in the trash after the heart-rending garden scene on Auriga. His last gift, the farewell ring, was in a drawer on Darkar. Damn you, damn you, damn you! Why did you put these things here?

  She looked at her old garments, reflecting on the times she had worn some of them. She lifted the one she had worn to her auction.

  “How are things going?” Varian inquired as he entered the dressing room and halted to lean against the closet entrance. When his gaze touched on the object she was holding and then on the open jewelry drawer, he cursed himself for not thinking to have them removed. He had put her belongings here during his long and agonizing search for her after she had vanished. During that tormenting time, he had touched, smelled, and looked at them often to call forth even the tiniest memory when he feared he had lost her forever. When this mission was born, it had sprung to full growth instantly. He had worked and studied in Ryker’s complex and had forgotten about what awaited her on this return.

  “Varian is cold, cruel, and vindictive, my husband. He put these things here to taunt us. I’ll pack them and have them stored out of sight.”

  “I’m sorry, Jana,” Varian said sadly. “I should have checked out this room. I never want you hurt again.”

  She went to him and entered his arms, resting her head on his broad chest. “You’ve become a very kind, gentle, and caring person since our first meeting when you terrified me to the bone. Or perhaps you were always this way and didn’t have a chance to reveal your wonderful traits. It wasn’t your fault, my love. And it wasn’t an oversight by him; it was an intentional taunt that he assumed would distress me and vex you. Perhaps he’s saving them to use on his next helpless victim. I’m sure Canissia wouldn’t want anything that had been touched by me, and I can imagine her reaction if she found these things.”

  Perdition, Varian, you’re making her fallin love with that evil bastard! “I’ll get rid of them for you so you won’t have to touch them or look at them. Why don’t you go into the other room and pour us some wine while I handle this unpleasant task. We’ll have to get ready for dinner and the meeting soon.”

  She lifted her head and sent him an imploring gaze. “Must I go, Ryker? I’d rather eat here and rest. I don’t want this new crew to make wild speculations about me, about us.”

  “I thought you’d enjoy seeing Lieutenant Karsh again.”

  “I do, and I’m glad she’s aboard. But I don’t want to see her again so soon. In a few days after I’ve gotten accustomed to being here.”

  Was this part of the ruse, he worried, too much to ask of his love? “Will it bother you to stay in these rooms for a few weeks? If so, we can use the guest quarters down the hall. I was told they’re smaller but still very nice.”

  “No, that won’t be necessary.” Besides, the Gold Room held just as many bittersweet memories for her, as that suite had been hers in the beginning.

  Following a briefing last night between Ryker and the officers, the Wanderlust left orbit around Rigel at dawn and headed for rendezvous with the other starships between Saturn and Jupiter. From the transascreen in their borrowed quarters, Jana eyed the vast span of space before her. Wherever she looked, all she saw was sky that looked like one endless rippling of white waves. They were under way, traveling to her galaxy at starlight speed, their fastest pace. By Earth timing, the voyage would require three weeks; and by Earth’s calendar, they would assault the rogue less than two weeks before Christmas.

  Thanksgiving … Christmas … New Year’s … Friends, turkey with all the trimmings, shopping, decorations, parties, funny hats and noise makers…. Holidays: how she would miss them.

  Jana thought about Andrea being on the colony at Anais. If Project Starguard failed, her best friend would lose all of that and her family. She would also be forced to make a new life here in Maffei. But if the mission was successful, Andrea might be sent home. I have to see you at least once before that happens. I need to see you. I need to talk with you. You always teased me about being in full control of my emotions and life. You always said I knew what I wanted. That’s no longer true. I have control over nothing—not even the air I breathe or food I eat. How wonderful it would be to make my own decisions again. Please, God, let this mission succeed. Give Earth another miracle for Christmas.

  For three days, Jana didn’t leave Varian’s quarters. She ate, read, and exercised there to avoid the new crew. She didn’t want to make friends with any of them, as she had with the old one. Besides, she would never see these men and women after this trip, so why make any overtures that might be laughed at or ignored?

  If she desired to leave the suite, Ryker had told her she had free run of the ship. She turned and let her gaze roam the sitting area. It was roomy, masculine, and comfortable. She could close her eyes and almost picture Varian sitting and working at his desk as he’d done in the past. Several times when Ryker had used it, she had experienced gnawings of irritation at the unnatural sight. As if he’d become a ghost, Varian seemed to haunt this room. His lingering spirit seemed to lurk in here, in the adjoining bedroom, and even in the bathroom. Worst of all, sometimes it was as if .she were suddenly and helplessly yanked into the past when she was the captive but willing mistress of that ebony-haired blue-eyed space pirate. She expected to glance up to see Varian strolling through the door, but it was always her blond-haired, green-eyed husband. Nearly every area of this ship held special memories of those blissfully ignorant days when she had fallen in love with him, and perhaps that was the real reason why she didn’t want to view them again. Yet, she couldn’t remain locked in here for six or more weeks.

  And that was emphasized the following day when Varian said, “You can’t stay cooped up in here for the entire voyage, Jana. I’m sure everyone is wondering why you haven’t made a single appearance since our arrival. Do you want them to think you’re afraid or embarrassed to face them or that you’re being held captive in here by me? You said you didn’t want them gossiping about you or us, but this is a sure way to inspire that. This is a big ship with plenty to do on it. Get out and enjoy yourself. Do something with Martella to stop her from being my shadow.” He chuckled before using one of Tristan’s favorite sayings. “She sticks to me like gracon to a beaker to make sure I don’t see or do anything I shouldn’t. Come on, woman, get dressed. Let’s eat and dance in the Stardust Room. I’ve seen it, and it’s very romantic.”

  So had she! She had spent many “romantic” evenings there with Varian. “You’re right, my intelligent and caring husband. I suppose it’s past time for Princess Jana Triloni to grace everyone with her presence•. I’ll be ready in thirty minutes.”

  Chief Medical Officer Mirren said to Martella and Zade, “Tris told me wonderful things about Jana and her skills. Nothing would have pleased him more than to have gotten her as his assistant. From what I heard, everyone aboard thought she and Varian would get together, that they were perfect for each other. I wonder what happened to prevent it.”

  “From the way it looks,” Zade replied as his gaze pointed at the dancing and smiling couple, “Ryker Triloni happened.”

  “Whatever it was that split them apart, it’s too late now. She looks happy and so does Prince Ryker. I guess if Varian had been in love with her, he wouldn’t be marrying that Garthon woman. What a waste of a good man.”

  “And waste of a good woman from where I sit,” Jarre added. “How could any woman leave Varian Saar for a man like that?”

  Martella silenced the annoying conversation. “Some things are meant to be and others aren’t. If a mistake is made, one can never tell when fate will step in and correct
human error. But I don’t think we should be gossiping about them. We wouldn’t want to be overheard and cause problems. This task is too important.”

  Jana felt as if Varian was standing in the dark corner and watching them with a mocking grin on his handsome face as they made love in his bed. She soon realized she had no choice except to fake pleasure and a climax. She hoped and prayed pretending wouldn’t become a necessary habit for her What she needed was an antidote to Varian Saar, something to cure and heal her and make her immune to his continual torment. She had to face the reality that Ryker was not a panacea or substitute for that daring space rogue.

  Varian comprehended her predicament, but he was given hope at surmising she was still haunted by him and bound in heart to him. He pretended not to notice her deceit.

  Two days later, Jana sneaked into the Gold Room to see if anything had changed there since her departure. She found only the monitor for spying on her and for giving her orders had been removed, and she quickly left.

  She entered the officers’ gym to exercise on the walkometer. For the time being, no one was present, and she was glad. She stepped on the treadmill, set the time, pace, and incline she wanted, and pressed the start button. She moved slowly at first during her warm-up period.

  “Hello, Jana. So we finally have time and privacy for a talk.”

  Jana was surprised to see Martella coming toward her, as Ryker had alleged the woman stuck to him like glue. Perhaps he had told the new security chief that she would be coming here, as she had told him her plans earlier. “Did you finally manage time away from Ryker’s demands to get in some fun and exercise?” she jested as the machine’s pace increased. Martella began her warm-up. “I must admit he’s doing a superb job.”

  “Did you expect otherwise?” Jana asked. “Ryker does everything superbly. He’s a perfectionist, or didn’t the Alliance know that?”