P.S. I Loathe You (Regency Rendezvous Book 8)

by Diane Darcy

  She looked happy to see him.

  He’d relived their kisses enough times to feel like he’d kissed her a thousand times, and knew her lips intimately. He couldn’t help it as his gaze dropped to her mouth.

  Surrounded by servants as they were, with her family in the next room, he couldn’t kiss her again, so he lifted her hand to his mouth, kissed her knuckles, and tucked her arm within his own. “Did ye sleep well, my sweet?” He tried out the endearments, and found it fell from his lips effortlessly.

  Surprise flickered across her expression, and her hand clenched on his arm. “I did, and you?”

  The devil in him leaned down and murmured, “Not so well as all that. I relived your mouth pressed to mine, and then dreamed of ye after I fell asleep.”

  Becoming color rushed to her cheeks, as they entered the dining room. She released his arm when they reached the sideboard, and both of them loaded plates with breakfast.

  He watched to see what foods she enjoyed, finding he wished to know everything there was to know about her, to fill any gaps in the mystery that was his Lizzie.

  “Good morning, MacGregor.” Lord Huntington sounded amused. “It looks as if our breakfast table is the place to be this morning.”

  Not sure what he meant, he turned to find that Mr. Russell was already seated at the table, a plate full of food before him.

  He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed the man before, as he was usually well aware of his surroundings.

  Lizzie was driving him to madness.

  He lifted his chin. “Russell.” He addressed his rival as he moved closer to Lizzie.

  “MacGregor.” The American returned the greeting, his eyes watchful, careful, as he took in Lizzie’s demeanor, and Alexander’s sudden protectiveness.

  His mother walked in the room, yawning. She smiled when she saw him. “Alexander!” You are here awfully early this morning.”

  His mother looked between him and Lizzie, and her smile widened. “Ah, that’s just as it should be.”

  His mother moved to the sideboard to load up on breakfast, and because he didn’t have a choice, Alexander sat across from Mr. Russell, placing Lizzie on his left next to Matthew.

  “Mr. Russell, how long do you plan to stay in the area?” Alexander asked.

  The man’s eyes immediately went to Lizzie, and Alexander tensed. He’d like to have grabbed her hand, but as she was using her fork at the moment, she wouldn’t thank him.

  “I’m not sure. I suppose it depends on how events play out.”

  With that, the man smiled at Lizzie, and set out to charm her once more. “Lady Elizabeth, I don’t believe I’ve told you about the cattle drive we have in the fall each year.”

  As everyone listened attentively to his charming story of danger and derring-do, Alexander ate his breakfast and fumed.

  The man needed to go home to his beloved cattle, and his picturesque ranch, and leave the rest of them in peace.

  By the time the meal was over, Alexander was ready to throw Lizzie over his shoulder, march out the front door, and insist upon a fast ride to Gretna Green.

  Anything to get her away from Mr. Russell.

  Lizzie’s mother enjoyed the story a little too much, and his own mother wasn’t much better, the two of them giggling like girls as Mr. Russell described the antics of his little sister.

  “Mr. Russell,” Lady Huntington was smiling at the man. “Since you’re in the area, I insist you join us today. Mrs. MacGregor and I have decided to host a picnic out by Willingham Woods. We’d love to have you there, and I think that you’d enjoy it.”

  Alexander understood that it was only good manners to include the man, especially in light of the fact he was showing his support for Lizzie after she’d been ostracized in town. No doubt, her mother was grateful.

  But was the woman blind? Did she wish her daughter snatched away, to live across the ocean, rarely to be seen again? Surely not.

  So what was she about? Mayhap she intended to give him a little competition, so that he might show himself in a better light?

  Or mayhap he was over-thinking the whole situation and it was simple courtesy. Whatever the case, Alexander was up to the challenge. One thing was for certain: Mr. Russell would only get Lizzie alone over his dead body.

  ~~~

  They spent the morning getting ready, and then the ladies rode in the carriage, all the men rode on horseback, and soon their small party was exiting near the wooded area.

  The place was well-known to the family and to Alexander as well.

  They’d spent many a pleasant afternoon here when it was their turn to entertain the MacGregors, as the trees, the meadow, and the stream offered plenty of opportunity to explore nature.

  As Alexander handed her down from the carriage, Lizzie felt a sudden pang of nostalgia. “It feels strange to be here without your father.”

  “Aye. ’Tis funny ye would say that; I was actually just thinking the same.”

  She smiled at him. “Our family wore mourning for him for a year, did you know?”

  He shook his head. His lips pressed together, and she could tell he was touched by the fact.

  “We truly loved him, you know. Even after you went off to school then joined the military, your family still came out here in the summers. I think by that point, our parents enjoyed each other’s company and therefore it became a regular event.”

  “I did hear of it. Ye wrote me, as did my parents. I remember thinking at the time, that I was sad to miss it.” He glanced around. “We had some good times here, did we no’?”

  “We did.” She agreed.

  They followed the others to where their mothers were spreading out a couple of blankets.

  Mr. Russell was helping them, and flirting with the older ladies, much to their amusement.

  She noticed that Mr. Russell threw her an occasional glance, and knew he wanted to get her alone to have a chat.

  It was only fair she tell him in person that she’d considered his proposal, was honored by it, but would have to regretfully refuse.

  She’d practiced the wording several times in her head this morning, and had come to the conclusion that the sooner they had the conversation the better.

  She wanted to spend this time with Alexander. Get to know him a little better now that he’d opened up a bit, and yes, perhaps enjoy a few more of his kisses.

  She couldn’t really do that with Mr. Russell hanging about, could she? Still, she was obligated to talk to the man. To explain.

  The question was how she was going to have this conversation with Mr. Russell, when Alexander so obviously wasn’t going to give them a chance to be alone?

  She certainly didn’t want to admit that Mr. Russell had proposed to her, and that she’d considered it.

  She suspected that, after their time in London, Alexander’s feelings might be hurt, and that was the last thing she wanted.

  As she helped set up the picnic, she debated over the best way to see Mr. Russell alone.

  She glanced at Alexander, who was watching her like a hawk.

  She sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  ~~~

  Lizzie was laughing and having a good time playing a game of cricket with Alexander, Mr. Russell, and her two siblings.

  It had been a wonderful afternoon, reminiscent of those in the past, and she felt like they almost reverted to childhood, wading in the stream, climbing rocks, and enjoying the food in the sunshine.

  Cheeses, fruits, various meats. Biscuits and marmalade, plum cake with clotted cream. Plenty of cider. Wonderful.

  And then there was her overwhelming attraction to Alexander, which she was trying to ignore given the current company.

  Mother and Mrs. MacGregor certainly hadn’t stopped talking the entire time. There had been a lot of laughter, a lot of reminiscing, and perhaps too much sunshine.

  With her hat missing for much of the day, Lizzie suspected her nose would be quite red by bedtime.

  And, of cou
rse, that meant even more freckles — something to worry about another day.

  Mr. Russell over-pitched the ball, much to the laughter of her siblings, and Alexander was forced to run after it.

  Lizzie added her own jeering to the mix. “Is that how they teach you to throw in America?”

  “Why don’t you come and find out?”

  It was the first personal remark he’d made the entire day, and she quickly glanced after Alexander to see if he’d heard it, but he was too far away.

  Perhaps this was the only, and best, chance she might get to talk to the man. She crossed the distance swiftly, and told him, “Mr. Russell, I need to talk to you about something.”

  His lips curved into a charming smile. “And I need to talk to you, as well.”

  Alexander was already coming back, his long stride eating up the distance between them.

  “About your marriage proposal —”

  “Lizzie, I’ll come by your place after dark tonight. Will you come out and talk to me? At say, ten o’clock? At the kitchen door?”

  Alexander would have a fit if he knew about it, but there was no time to explain to Mr. Russell that she couldn’t marry him, as Alexander was almost upon them.

  “Yes. That would be fine.”

  Alexander’s face had darkened with anger. “What would be fine, Lizzie?”

  “She’s offered to teach me how to pitch. She has suggested that I’m lacking in skill.”

  Mr. Russell lied easily enough and Lizzie tried to keep her own face straight as Alexander’s searched her expression for any hint that something was out of the ordinary.

  Alexander eyed the other man, the earlier camaraderie of the afternoon completely gone. “I think we’re about done with this game, anyway. If you’re needing any lessons, Mr. Russell, I’d be glad to give them to you. Mayhap another round in the boxing ring?”

  Mr. Russell laughed as if Alexander was joking.

  But his face was set in hard, tight lines, and Lizzie was afraid that if she didn’t intervene, Alexander might actually do something to harm the man.

  She held out her hand to Alexander. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired and thirsty. Let’s get some more cider and sit for a while, shall we?”

  Alexander took her hand, shot the other man a hard look, and led her away.

  Oh. Dear. Sometimes she thought she knew Alexander quite well, and other times, she wondered if she knew him at all.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Alexander didn’t like it.

  They’d only been alone for a minute or so, but the man had said something to Lizzie, though he didn’t know what.

  He settled in next to her on the blanket. “Do ye want to tell me what that was all about?” He asked in a low voice, as their respective mothers were sitting on another blanket about ten feet away.

  “What do you mean?” She wouldn’t meet his gaze and her tone was defensive.

  “What do ye mean, what do I mean? Ye were talking to him. What was said?”

  He knew immediately he’d taken the wrong tone with her when her chin lifted, and her mouth pressed into a stubborn line.

  “Lizzie …” He said, his tone warning.

  After a long moment, her shoulders relaxed, and she reached out and took his hand, which went a long way toward pacifying him.

  “It was nothing. Just casual conversation.”

  Did she look guilty? Or was that his imagination? He thought to press the issue, but decided against it. He was here now, and he’d not leave her side.

  Though naught had been settled, Lizzie was his again, and he was keeping her.

  ~~~

  Late that night, after everyone had gone home, and the house was quieting, Lizzie slowly made her way down the servants’ stairs.

  This was probably a bad idea.

  From years of experience, she knew each stair that creaked, and avoided them.

  No, this was definitely a bad idea.

  She made her way toward the kitchen, and was relieved to see it was empty.

  What would Alexander say about this?

  He would definitely disapprove, but, she did need to have this conversation with Mr. Russell.

  Perhaps she should have written him a note, explaining her change of heart.

  She hadn’t exactly led him on, had she?

  She didn’t believe she had. But she did wish she could go back to that day in London, and tell him that her answer would have to be a firm no.

  She supposed she felt slightly guilty because she hadn’t refused the man outright. Which, obviously, had given Mr. Russell hope.

  She knew it was inappropriate to meet him in the dark. But she also knew they’d never have a chance to speak alone, and, after all, the man had asked her to be his wife. To spend the rest of her life with him.

  Surely she needed to show the man some consideration?

  “Lizzie?”

  Gasping, she spun away from the kitchen door to see Matthew standing at the arched entry in his sleepwear, his dark hair, so like their father’s, drooping over one eye.

  “What are you doing?” he wanted to know.

  “Nothing! What are you doing?”

  “Cook made some apple tarts for breakfast and I’m afraid if I don’t get one now, they’ll be gone before I get up in the morning.”

  “Oh, Matthew. Now just isn’t a good time.”

  His eyes widened. “Why not? Are you eloping with Alexander?”

  She laughed at that. “Mother and father would kill me, as would Alexander’s mother, if we did such a thing.”

  “Then what are you doing?”

  She hesitated. “Can you keep a secret?”

  “Of course, I can.”

  She bit her lip, and considered. She was actually glad Matthew was there, as the reality of sneaking outside to meet a man in the middle of the night wasn’t exciting, so much as scary.

  If it had been Alexander, she might well feel differently. “You won’t tell Mother or Father?”

  “I won’t!”

  “When I was in London, Mr. Russell asked me to marry him.”

  Matthew’s eyes widened. “Alexander must have gone wild!”

  “Alexander doesn’t know about it.”

  “Well, you told him no, of course. You can’t marry two men, after all.”

  Matthew definitely didn’t understand the intricacies of the situation. “At the time, Alexander and I were rethinking our engagement.”

  “You told him yes!”

  “No, I just didn’t give him an answer. And now Alexander’s not giving me a chance to talk to him, so I’ve agreed to meet him outside tonight.”

  “Lizzie! What would father say?” He hesitated a moment and his eyes grew round. “What would Alexander say?”

  “Well we’re never to know what either one of them would say, are we? Because you’ve been sworn to secrecy.”

  She drew in a breath. “But I’ll admit, I would feel a little bit safer if you just stayed outside of the door until I come back. All right?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Can I have your apple tart in the morning for breakfast?”

  It was her turn to roll her eyes. “It’s a deal.”

  ~~~

  Something didn’t feel right.

  Alexander opened the French doors that led to the garden and took his drink outside. He looked into the distance toward Lizzie’s house.

  The family he was staying with, the Covington’s, kept country hours just as the Huntingtons did.

  The older couple had no children left at home, and so Alexander had the downstairs to himself, a chance to enjoy the night air.

  He sipped his drink, and considered the day. Overall, he was pleased with the way events were playing out. They hadn’t spoken of it, but he and Lizzie seemed to have come to an understanding.

  He hadn’t liked that incident with Mr. Russell, and wondered when the man would go home. Home to America, that was. London wasn’t far enough away.

  He considered g
oing inside and going to bed because he wanted to be at Lizzie’s early the next morning, but he was unable to relax.

  This used to happen quite frequently in the military, before a big battle, or even sometimes before an ambush.

  It was just like another sense, one honed in the military. Most men felt it at one time or another. But it concerned him that he’d feel this way out in the country.

  Again, he analyzed what had happened between Mr. Russell and Lizzie.

  They hadn’t had more than a minute to speak to each other, but could something possibly have happened?

  He looked out into the darkness, toward Huntington Hall.

  Surely, the man hadn’t had time to set up an assignation? And surely Lizzie would never have agreed to such a meeting?

  He didn’t really believe that could be the case, but as edgy as he was, a walk in the darkness seemed like a good idea.

  Mayhap he’d throw pebbles at Lizzie’s window again.

  Mayhap he could talk her into coming outside for a few kisses?

  That settled it. Leaving his glass on a side table, he closed the French doors and then headed out into the darkness.

  He was smiling as he walked toward Lizzie’s house.

  ~~~

  Lizzie headed out the kitchen door, and glanced back to make sure Matthew was watching.

  He was.

  She’d gladly give him her apple tart, as just having him there gave her a measure of peace.

  She hadn’t walked more than ten steps, when Mr. Russell appeared in the darkness. “Lizzie! I’m so glad you came.”

  “Mr. Russell.” Her heart was beginning to pound, which was ridiculous. She wasn’t afraid of the man. Now that she was actually out here, she didn’t know what she been so concerned about.

  Mr. Russell had never been anything but a gentleman.

  Meeting him like this? Well, perhaps that was questionable, but no doubt he could tell, as well as she could, that neither her father, nor Alexander, would give them a moment together.

  After his gracious and honest proposal, she felt she could do no other than explain to him face-to-face.

  “I hope it’s all right that I came here from London, that I followed you. I do realize you’ve had a long understanding with Captain MacGregor. But Lizzie, when I spoke to you in London, it gave me hope, and I’m afraid I can’t just let it go without talking to you. I must know how you feel.”