P.S. I Loathe You (Regency Rendezvous Book 8)

by Diane Darcy

  Lizzie hesitated and tried to form a coherent sentence. She was glad for the darkness, as she could feel her face heating, as she prepared to expose her fickleness to the man before her.

  “Mr. Russell, I feel so upset over the fact that I have so misled you.”

  Mr. Russell stilled in the darkness.

  “When I saw you in London, issues were undecided between me and Alexander. I do believe that we’ve come to a new understanding. I intend to marry him, but I do want to express my regrets for leading you to believe that I might accept your suit.”

  Russell blew out a harsh breath. “Lady Elizabeth. Lizzie, please. You must hear me out. I’m not unaware of the fact that your families would like you to be together. But I think the two of us would suit far better than you and Captain MacGregor. Can’t you just give me a chance?”

  “Mr. Russell, I’m honored —”

  He reached forward and gripped her hands in his. “Please, I know that I have explained my situation to you, and so you know I need to marry an heiress. I want you to believe that you are the girl I would like to be my wife. Regardless of money, position, or anything else, I truly think we would grow to love each other. I find you beautiful, funny, and kind; you are exactly the sort of woman I would like to spend the rest of my life with.”

  His earnestness was hard to take. She could have dealt far better with anger, or coldness, over her actions.

  But sincerity? It made her stomach ache to have to reject him.

  Once more, in the swirling mass of emotion, she thought about Alexander and her life with him, and then Mr. Russell, and the world he would bring her into.

  Frankly, it would be exciting. She would love to go to the Americas, and the thought of marrying Mr. Russell, who was good looking, personable, and forthright in a way that tugged at her heartstrings, wasn’t unappealing.

  But … Alexander.

  As appealing as Mr. Russell was, and he was far more personable than Alexander, it didn’t make a difference.

  Alexander had captured her heart, probably shortly after she’d been born.

  She remembered the boy he’d been, her companion in mischief. Always strong and in charge. Funny, and ever ready for adventure. She’d followed him everywhere and he’d been her sun, moon, and stars all rolled into one.

  The man he’d become was different, and yet at the same time, those feelings she’d had for that young boy had grown too, matured. He was much stronger now. Fierce, stubborn, and yet, with her, soft at times. Was he still her sun, moon, and stars?

  She had to admit that he was.

  She’d loved him with her young girl’s heart, and she loved him still, as a woman.

  Emotions, piercing and sweet, rushed through her, along with clarity, certainty.

  She’d never get over that man. If she married another, the rest of her life there would be an empty hole in her heart where Alexander should have been.

  He was right. She had always belonged to him. Picturing herself in America without him set up a yearning in her that told her exactly where her heart lay.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Russell. But the truth of the matter is that Alexander holds my heart.”

  “Don’t you think that I might win your love if you give me a chance?”

  She hated to hurt another human being, but he just wasn’t letting it go. Perhaps he was fighting for his future, and she could understand that. But she just wanted to turn around and go back in the house now.

  “Mr. Russell, you are a charming, agreeable, and handsome man. You will soon find another lady, the perfect one for you.”

  “Thank you, Lizzie. I believe I will too.” Mr. Russell took a step forward, startling her out of the perfect world she was creating for them all, and back to reality.

  Again, she was glad her little brother was watching, keeping her safe from a distance.

  Because, she suddenly didn’t feel safe.

  He took another step and this time, Lizzie took a step back. “Mr. Russell?” There was alarm in her voice, and she hoped it was enough to remind him of his manners.

  She took another step back and rushed into speech. “I just wanted to tell you in person, and I’m afraid my response is final. I have appreciated your friendship over the season, and I wish you nothing but the best in future.”

  His large body moved closer in the darkness. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Because, I do want the best in my future, and I believe that means you.”

  As alarm flared within her, he reached for her, bent down, and threw her effortlessly over his shoulder in one smooth move.

  “Mr. Russell! What do you think you’re doing?”

  He was walking fast, almost running now as she was jostled against his shoulder.

  “Mr. Russell, stop! Matthew!” She yelled out into the darkness.

  She could hear Matthew calling after them, and then she was inside a carriage, and being bound with a rope faster than she could have believed possible.

  “I’m sorry, Lizzie. This isn’t the way I wanted it to be, but make no mistake, I do believe you’ll be happy with me someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

  Unable to believe this was truly happening, she simply gaped as he shut the door. A moment later the carriage rocked as he jumped on top, and urged the horses into the darkness.

  Alexander was going to kill her.

  ~~~

  As Alexander approached the house, mayhem seem to be breaking out on the lawn.

  He rushed forward, and grabbed one of the servants by the arm. “What’s happening?”

  “Miss Elizabeth has been taken.”

  “Taken!” But even as he said the word, he knew what had happened.

  “Mr. Russell came by and forced her into a carriage. Young Matthew witnessed the entire event.”

  At that, he headed toward the young boy, who was talking to his parents. “She told me it was a secret! I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone! But he took her!”

  Alexander put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and turned him. “Did ye see which way they went?”

  “Toward London.”

  He turned to Lord Huntington. “I need a horse.”

  Lord Huntington ran with him to the stables, where the groom was already saddling horses.

  “Good man.” Alexander fit his foot in the stirrup and settled on the horse. He didn’t wait for Lord Huntington.

  He urged the horse out into the darkness and down the long drive. They couldn’t be that far ahead, but he knew from past experience that Mr. Russell drove like a madman.

  He hoped the man would be more careful in the dark, but Alexander didn’t have that luxury.

  He urged the horse on, and sent out a silent prayer that there wouldn’t be a rut or hole in the road that injured the animal. He also couldn’t help but remember his own father died from being thrown from a horse.

  When he caught up with Mr. Russell, he was going to thrash him within an inch of his life.

  ~~~

  Lizzie wasn’t sure whether to be angry, or scared.

  She felt a fool.

  She’d been so concerned about Mr. Russell’s feelings, about doing the honorable thing, that it hadn’t occurred to her to protect herself!

  So much for trying to do what was right!

  The carriage was going so fast that Lizzie was literally in fear for her life. She knew he was a good driver, but when you couldn’t see the road?

  Through the wildly waving curtain, she could see he’d lit lanterns, but surely that wasn’t enough to see the road?

  He was risking his life to take her as a wife?

  He was risking her life, as well. Twice over because Alexander was going to kill her when he found out she’d met the man in the dark.

  She knew he wouldn’t understand.

  Even she thought she was a fool at this point.

  She bounced around on the floor. As he’d bound her hands behind her back, she couldn’t keep her balance, and fell back on her knees.

 
What did he think was going to happen?

  She wouldn’t marry the man.

  Or, would she?

  Alexander didn’t know where she was. No doubt Matthew would alert the household, but it would take time to engineer a rescue.

  By the time that happened, she’d have been out overnight with Mr. Russell, and would be obligated to marry him.

  Her family could not sustain another scandal. Especially one of that magnitude.

  And Alexander wouldn’t want a wife with such a besmirched reputation, would he?

  She wondered if her father would even go get Alexander, or would simply come after her himself, trying to avoid the scandal that was sure to follow.

  She worried about him on these roads at night.

  If her father was hurt, she would never forgive herself.

  She thought of Alexander’s disappointment in her, and called herself all kinds of fool.

  No, Mr. Russell might know exactly what he was doing.

  This time tomorrow, she just might be his bride.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Alexander could see the wildly swinging lights in the distance. At least the man wasn’t a total fool.

  He glanced back, and still couldn’t see Huntington in the darkness.

  No doubt the man was being much more cautious than Alexander on the frantic ride.

  No matter, he certainly didn’t need Huntington’s help in getting Lizzie back.

  Alexander pressed forward now that he had his query in sight. It took another ten minutes to catch them, and when he did, he called out to Mr. Russell to stop.

  The man looked over his shoulder and Alexander could see his startled face in the glow of the wildly swinging lamplight.

  His jaw set in sudden determination, and he lifted the whip, only to rethink, and set it down once more.

  Alexander allowed his horse to slow, so he wasn’t in danger of clipping the carriage, and killing both the horse and himself.

  At this point, Mr. Russell was aware he was there, that he couldn’t outrun him, and that his plan was foiled.

  When the horses finally started to slow, Alexander knew he’d won.

  When they came to a complete stop, he jumped off his horse, but kept the reins in hand.

  “Lizzie!? Are ye in there?”

  “I’m here!”

  “Are ye injured?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Something in Alexander’s chest seemed to unclench, as he glared up at the man holding the reins. “Get down.”

  Mr. Russell seemed to take his measure, but finally did as he was told. “Why don’t you take her and go?”

  “Because, I won’t turn my back on ye for a moment. Nae doubt, you’d like to bash me in the head with a rock, and then be on your way.”

  Mr. Russell laughed. “I considered bringing a gun, and am definitely feeling the lack.”

  “Start walking down the road.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so. You’re right about one thing. If I were to win a fight between us this night, if you were incapacitated, I could be on my way with Lizzie.”

  “Mr. Russell. I will refuse to marry you even if you do manage to stand me up in front of a preacher!”

  “Oh, I don’t think you’ll be so cavalier, after you’ve been living with me for a while. Perhaps a babe in your belly will change your mind, right quick.”

  Alexander understood the man wanted to rile him, to force him to make a wrong move, but even so, the growl that erupted from his throat was involuntary, as was rushing the man.

  Russell tried to step back out of the way, and mayhap to trip him, but the fist that Alexander swung under hand toward the man’s jaw connected solidly, throwing him back.

  Alexander straightened again, both fists clenched, ready to go head to head, when he realized the blackguard was out cold.

  He shoved him with his foot to make sure, but Russell didn’t so much as move.

  That was it?

  Alexander smirked. So the cowboy had a glass jaw. Ha!

  Keeping an eye on the downed man, Alexander went to the carriage door, and untied the twine around the outside. He opened the door. Lizzie, seated on a bench, stared back at him in the gloom.

  “Alexander,” she breathed in relief, and he realized she’d had no way of knowing who would open the door. “Are you all right?”

  He didn’t feel all right. His jaw was tight and the muscles in his chest and arms were tense as his glance flickered between Lizzie and the man on the ground.

  “I’m fine. And you?”

  “I am unharmed.”

  He had a sudden urge to leave her bound, shut the door, and turn the carriage toward Gretna Green. He let out a deep breath and instead reached inside the carriage and plucked her off the seat. He stood her on the hard-packed dirt so he could untie her as he kept an eye on Noah Russell.

  She leaned against him, her face against his chest as she exhaled, and unexpected tenderness well within him.

  “Ye sneaked outside to meet him after dark.” His voice was hard, gruff, without an ounce of mercy or understanding.

  “Yes, but you were never supposed to know about it.”

  “I would, however, like an explanation.”

  He finished untying her, and she stepped back. Her chin lifted, her lips tightened, and he couldn’t help but be amused by the familiar stubbornness, even as there was no way she could defend her actions.

  “He proposed marriage to me in London, after we’d broken our engagement.”

  He hadn’t expected that. “What did ye tell him?”

  She hesitated. “He was very convincing.”

  Rage spiked within him. “I suppose he told ye he loved you, and that it would be flowers and rainbows all the time in America,” he sneered.

  She glanced at the man behind her and chuckled. “No, actually he was quite honest about the fact that he didn’t love me, but that he thought he could someday. And that he needed my dowry, and that he had every intention of putting it to good use to ensure our future together.”

  He looked at her, incredulous. He thought he’d been shocked before, but she’d managed to confound him further. “And ye considered him?”

  “Well, we were through, remember? And I did like his honesty.”

  Alexander grimaced. “I suppose it didnae hurt that he’s pretty to look upon?”

  She grinned up at him, looming over her in the darkness. “It didn’t hurt in the least.”

  Her grin faded. “Anyway, it’s not as if I did anything wrong. I was trying to do everything right. In fact, now that I think about it, all of this is your fault.”

  “Ach,” he scoffed. “As I knew it would be.”

  “Thank you. I’m glad that you acknowledge that you had a hand in this.”

  He made another impatient noise. “How so?”

  “If you had given us a moment to be together today, I could have told Mr. Russell that I could not accept his proposal, as I’d already accepted yours.”

  His jaw tightened as he fought off welling rage. “I can’t believe ye even considered it.”

  “Well, part of me thought that it was a perfectly elegant solution. I leave to go and live across the ocean, and the stain on my family’s reputation fades away. Everybody gets what they want.”

  His hands clenched into fists in front of him as he tried not to reach for her. “If you leave, how do I get what I want?”

  “You could marry someone else and forget all about me.”

  “Forget about ye?” His eyes were fierce as he advanced upon her. “Forget about ye, will I? Forget about the adventures we had when we were children? Forget about the first girl I ever kissed? Forget about the young lady who wrote me all of the letters, telling me every detail of her life, and her thoughts? Forget about the lady I’ve been courting, and fallen more and more in love with each day? Forget your voice, your scent, your laughter?” He realized he was advancing on her when she lifted her hands to his chest.

  “Alexander?”<
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  “I think that you’re the one who is forgetful and needs reminding.” He pulled her close and kissed her, and she melted against him, as usual, which went a long way toward dissolving his anger.

  A moment later he lifted his head. “Well?”

  “Well, we weren’t to be married anymore, were we? I had to marry somebody, didn’t I?”

  “Nae, you did not. Ye could do what I was planning and go the rest of your life without having anyone, if ye couldn’t have the one ye wanted.”

  She smiled at that. “When he asked me I was worried that you’d gone to Scotland with a new bride. You had said you might.”

  “I would never!”

  “You said you might.”

  “So this … that’s how it’s my fault, is it?”

  She seemed to think about it, and then she nodded.

  Jaw clenching, he studied her for a long moment, and finally realized that none of it mattered. The stars in her eyes were for him. She was eating him up with her gaze, looking upon him as a girl looked upon her hero. He laughed. “What am I tae do with you, Lizzie?”

  She grinned. “Well, I suppose, since you’ve belonged to me since the moment I was born, you’re going to marry me.”

  She glanced back at the fallen man, and there was satisfaction in her expression. “Unless you’ve changed your mind, of course.”

  “Nae, though ye are mired in scandal, I suppose I’ll take ye.”

  She gasped, and gave him a shove. “Take me, will you? Like an unwanted package?”

  He grinned at her. “I didnae say ye are unwanted. But after I’ve saved ye from yourself, and redeemed your honor by marrying ye, I’m going to expect much in return.”

  She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Oh, really? And what exactly do you mean by much?”

  He gathered her resisting body into his arms, and waited until she relaxed against him again. “I’m going to want it all, Lizzie. Your laughter, your beauty, your spirit, and most of all, your love. Because I do love ye, ye crazy girl, to distraction and back.”

  He seemed to hesitate. “Lizzie, will ye marry me? I know ye’ve felt ye never had a choice.”