The Kiss List

by Sara Jo Cluff

  Alejandro’s eyebrows shot up. “Not from what I hear.”

  Using my palms, I rubbed my eyes. Maybe I’d just go to bed after dinner. I could listen to music until I fell asleep. Not exactly a fun night, but it was better than putting up with all the drama.

  “Do you believe everything you hear?” I stirred the potatoes with my fork. A frown came to my face, thinking of the rumor about me being a bad kisser. I hoped he hadn’t listened to that one.

  Alejandro leaned forward. “Not always. I like to experience things for myself before I pass judgment.”

  Heat flared on my face, and I couldn’t stop it. Kissing Alejandro would make the entire week of hell worth it. It would definitely cheer me up.

  Laughter broke out behind him. I glanced over his shoulder to see a couple tables of players in a lively conversation. Multiple heads whipped my way with amusement dancing in their eyes. Why was I letting them ruin everything for me? I had to take matters into my own hands.

  Finding my smile again, I turned back to Alejandro. “Wanna get out of here?”

  He didn’t say anything. He just stood, waited for me to come around the table, took my hand in his, and escorted me out of the building. His skin was hot, making me shudder in excitement.

  “Where should we go?” I asked. We were on a college campus and weren’t allowed to leave. There was always the baseball field, but we spent all day there.

  Alejandro got a scandalous look in his eyes. “Just between you and me, I snuck some Oreos into my dorm.”

  Aside from the last day of school, I hadn’t had Oreos in the longest time. Dylan hated them. “Wow. I didn’t know you were such a rebel.”

  He chuckled as he held the door open for me. It looked like they were setting up for another night of cards in the lobby of the boys’ dorms. Another activity I hadn’t been invited to. They’d probably done it every night.

  A few people glanced over at us as Alejandro tugged me toward the stairs, but I did my best to ignore them and focus on the thought of his lips on mine.

  He’d been there less than a week, but the dorm room he was using already rank of guy—sweat and musk floating in the air.

  Alejandro shut the door and immediately went for a bag stashed under his bed. Inside were all kinds of cookies, not just Oreos.

  I sat down next to him on the bed and stared inside the bag. “So, this is what heaven looks like.”

  His shoulders moved up and down in laughter. “Usually the girl says that to me, not my cookies.” His laughing voice had a smoky tinge that sounded delicious.

  I peeled back the cover of the Oreo box and set one in my mouth, fully intact. The second I bit down, the chocolate and cream goodness exploded, causing me to let out a slight moan.

  “Again, something I usually make the girl do, not the cookies,” he said as his shoulder brushed mine.

  I held up the box of cookies. “They’re just so good.” I popped another in my mouth, not caring if I looked silly.

  I was waiting for the moment where he looked at me in disgust like Dylan would have done, but instead, Alejandro popped an entire Oreo in his mouth just like I had.

  He turned on some hip-hop music on his phone and raised the volume. We laid down on the bed and snacked away. It was nice to just hang out, listen to music, and eat junk food.

  Something struck my heart. I used to do this all the time with Val and the girls on the softball team. Every Friday night, we’d get together at one of our houses and have the best time. Why had we stopped? They probably hadn’t. I just stopped going because of Dylan.

  Alejandro elbowed my arm. “You okay?”

  “Huh?” I turned to him, his face so close to mine. I wanted to melt in his gorgeous brown eyes. When my eyes landed on his lips, mine suddenly felt dry. I’d forgotten my lip gloss in my dorm.

  He lifted my chin. “My eyes are up here, Camille.”

  I went to playfully shove him in the chest, but he caught my hand and held it against him.

  “What are you thinking about?” He turned his body on his side, so he was facing me, still keeping my hand in his.

  “The team. I want back in their good graces, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”

  “Can you blame them?” He intertwined our fingers. “One thing I’ve noticed is that girls aren’t so quick to forgive. At least, not the ones I’ve dated.”

  I licked my lips, and then cursed myself. The gesture reminded me of Dylan. I didn’t want to think about him when Alejandro was right next to me. “The sad part? I can’t remember what I did. It’s like I blocked out my life before junior year.”

  “Really? It was Izzy’s birthday party. I think you and Dylan had just started dating, or it was right before.”

  I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to piece everything together. I remembered going to the party. I’d spent hours getting ready since I was going with Dylan. It was our first night as an official couple. Kaitlyn and Hayley had helped me pick out the perfect outfit, and they did my hair and makeup.

  All I could remember from the party was following Dylan around wherever he went. I basically worshipped the guy, which was so embarrassing.

  Alejandro let go of my hand and rested his hand on my hip. “Is this ringing any bells?” When I slowly nodded, he continued. “Val had a crush on some senior at the time. I can’t remember his name.”

  It hit me. “Will.”

  Val crushed hard on him all through our freshman and sophomore years. She gushed about him. She legit had notebooks full of squiggly hearts, her name and Will’s written inside them, and practiced signatures with her first name and his last name. I’d thought it so silly at the time, but really, had my actions around Dylan been any different?

  Closing my eyes, I thought back to that night. Dylan loved pranks. He’d dared me to tell Val that Will wanted to talk to her outside near the pool. I never asked what he was planning on doing, I just obeyed his orders. I wanted to impress him.

  So, I sought her out, whispered the news in her ear, and she giggled in excitement. I’d taken her hand, guided her out to the pool, and nudged her toward the meeting spot. She’d practically pranced over there. When she got there, Will wasn’t there. Instead, Dylan and his friend took her by the arms and threw her into the pool. Pete filmed the whole thing, uploading it when he finished.

  I’d thought it hilarious at the time. I mean, it was just some water. But I never thought about the fact that Val was easily embarrassed. The whole time in the pool, she shrieked and flailed her arms like crazy.

  Guests trickled out of the house, laughing when they saw what was going on. Ava and Izzy leaped in—creating a huge splash—wrapped their arms around Val, and helped her out of the pool. After they got her a towel and calmed her down, Izzy stormed over to Dylan and me, telling me that Val didn’t know how to swim and had almost drowned as a kid. I rushed to Val, wanting to apologize, but she turned her back on me.

  At school, I was so wrapped up in spending every single second with Dylan that I never apologized to Val.

  I’d been so heartless. That wasn’t me. A tear trickled out of my left eye and slid down my cheek. Alejandro’s warm hand landed on my face as he wiped it away.

  “You were young,” he whispered. “I’m sure if you apologize, she’ll forgive you.”

  “I hope so.” I really missed having them all as friends.

  Alejandro wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, his muscled chest comforting me.

  At least I’d pieced it together. Problem was, I wasn’t sure if a simple apology would be enough. It had probably been so traumatizing for Val. How would I make up for it? The best thing I could think of was to be raw and honest, letting her know the truth behind it all. Hopefully, it would be enough.

  Chapter 25

  Alejandro held me for a while. I could feel his heart beating wildly through his tank. His arms were solid weights around me, like I could never break and would remain safe.

  I pulled back, resting my h
ead on his pillow. “Thank you. This has been nice.”

  He ran a finger down my cheek. “Yes, it has.” His eyes went to my lips, so I tucked a finger under his chin and lifted his head.

  “My eyes are up here, Alejandro.” I was trying to be funny, but it came out breathless.

  “Say my name again,” he whispered. So, I did.

  He closed the distance between us, his arms holding me firm. His soft lips met mine, and a fire erupted inside me, heating every inch. His hand slid to the small of my back and somehow pushed me into him, even though there hadn’t seemed to be even the smallest sliver of space between our bodies.

  His lips moved slowly against mine. Without my lip gloss, our lips stuck together, and I could taste his salty skin. They were soft kisses, not intrusive or invading. My hands rested on his chest, squished between us to the point I couldn’t move them.

  His hand moved down, landing on the hem of my shirt. He slid underneath, his warm skin on mine. He kept his hand at my side for a moment before it slid up my back, inching way too close to my bra strap.

  I pushed away, my chest heaving in and out as I tried to catch my breath. I couldn’t look in his eyes when I spoke. “I’m not ready for anything more than kissing.”

  Alejandro curled a finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. His eyes were so kind and understanding. “Then we won’t.”

  Maybe all guys weren’t like Dylan.

  I’d been right about one thing: Alejandro was an amazing kisser. Crossing him off the kiss list would be my greatest accomplishment to date.

  The door suddenly opened, and Alejandro’s roommate came in. He was the pitcher for the baseball team. “Dude, Alejandro . . .” Elijah paused when he took us in, lying in each other’s arms on Alejandro’s bed.

  I started to move, but Alejandro held me in place, like it was perfectly normal. “What’s going on?

  A sly smile crossed Elijah’s face, but he quickly dropped it and replaced it with excitement. “You guys are missing all the fun downstairs.”

  Alejandro motioned to me. “Pretty sure this is more fun.”

  My cheeks burst into flames. I didn’t want Elijah thinking we were doing more than kissing. In fact, I didn’t want him to know we were kissing, which made no sense. The whole point of my kiss list was to stop the rumor that I was a bad kisser.

  Elijah tilted his head to the side. “Since your clothes are still on, no, it’s not.” He came into the room and sat down on his bed. “Now that it’s dark, we’re going to play hide-and-seek outside.”

  “Are we five?” I asked.

  Elijah shoved a stick of gum in his mouth, and then threw the wrapper into the trashcan across the room, easily making the basket. “I forgot you don’t know how to have fun.”

  Alejandro had loosened his hold on me, so I sat up and glared at Elijah. “I do, too.”

  Elijah rubbed his hands together. “Let’s go find out, shall we?”

  When we got downstairs, the chatter quieted down as everyone saw us. Liam quirked an eyebrow in intrigue, but I just shook my head at him. I didn’t look around for Mason. I definitely didn’t want to see his reaction to me having been upstairs with Alejandro. My lips pulsed, and I wondered if it was obvious we’d been kissing.

  Val and the others didn’t look happy to see me, and I understood more than ever why. I wanted to go to them and apologize right then, but there were too many people watching. I didn’t want them thinking I was just putting on a public show. I needed time to sit down with them and talk. In the meantime, I put on the most apologetic smile I could muster. Val’s hard eyes softened into confusion.

  Elijah held up his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Now that everyone’s here, let’s play some hide-and-seek! Let’s divide into teams.”

  Captains had already been picked—Elijah, Liam, Val, and Ava. I was hoping Liam would pick me to be on his team. Aside from Alejandro, he was the only one there who’d actually want me on their team. He picked Jordyn first, though, and I tried to hide my disappointment. On the second round, he chose a guy on the baseball team.

  By the fifth round, I debated whether I should just bolt. I could listen to some Maroon 5 and curl up in bed. Adam Levine’s voice was better than hide-and-seek, anyway.

  Val was the first captain up on the last round. I stood there with a few others, doing my best to conceal my disappointment. Would Liam finally pick me? Or would I end up on Ava’s team, who was the last captain to pick? That option seemed the most likely, and the least tempting.

  “Camille.” My name coming from Val’s mouth took me by surprise.

  I pointed a finger into my chest. “Me?”

  “Is there another Camille we should know about?” Val asked. I couldn’t read her face. It was as passive as ever.

  Ava scoffed. Her double Dutch braids were freshly done. “I really hope not.” A few chuckled at her comment, but I chose to ignore it like I had everything else that week.

  I cautiously joined Val’s team, which included mostly baseball players, one being Owen. He’d been Dylan’s friend before we’d started dating. I wasn’t sure why they’d stopped hanging out with each other. Maybe it was a similar reason as my friends and me.

  The thing that worried me, though, was Owen had been the other guy who helped push Val into the pool. Was she up to something, or was I reading too much into it?

  I glanced over at Liam, hoping to get his attention, but he was fully engaged with his team. We hadn’t talked since he started his secret mission. Maybe he’d found out the truth of that night and no longer wanted to be my friend. It could explain why he didn’t pick me for his hide-and-seek team. I hated that I was all huffy-puffy about not being picked. We weren’t in elementary school.

  The temptation to take off and break into Coach Wilke’s room and steal back my phone was looking awfully tempting. All I needed was advice from my mom. My heart sank at the thought. She wouldn’t help me. She’d be too busy. And it would be way too much drama for Dad to handle.

  But I always had Kaitlyn and Hayley. They’d stuck by me through my relationship with Dylan, which I now saw was the real meaning of friendship.

  “Camille?”

  I turned to find Val and the others in my group staring at me.

  “Nice of you to join us,” Val said, annoyance in her tone. “Don’t make me regret picking you.”

  I smiled at her. “Thanks for picking me. It means a lot.” I rubbed my hands together. “What’s the plan, chief?”

  She flinched at the word. It had been my nickname for her when I was on the team. Even though she was the trainer, the whole team had seen her as a leader. Val was brilliant and always had the best ideas.

  I’d forgotten about the nickname until it slipped from my mouth.

  Val swallowed. “Liam’s team is seeking first. The rules are we can’t split into groups smaller than two. I say we scatter around the campus as much as we can.”

  Everyone nodded as she spoke. A fiery confidence rippled across her body with every passing word. She was born to be a leader.

  Val grouped us off, telling each team which direction to head so we’d know where everyone was. She left Owen and me for last. She motioned between us. “I guess that just leaves the two of you.”

  She’d either planned that perfectly, or she was just saving the two people she hated most for last.

  “Why don’t you guys head toward the workout room?” Val tucked her baggy T-shirt into her leggings, turning all business. “Hide behind some weights or something. Just don’t get caught.” With a tense smile, she left the two of us standing there, completely uncomfortable.

  Owen and I hadn’t really talked since I started dating Dylan and they’d stopped being friends.

  Owen had his hands stuffed into his sweatpants pockets. “So. I guess it’s you and me.”

  I patted his arm. “Guess so.” I motioned for him to follow, and we headed out the doors.

  All the other teams were scattering about, hurry
ing to find a good hiding spot. Liam’s team was giving us two minutes before they’d come looking.

  “How have you been?” I asked Owen as we jogged toward the workout room.

  “Good.” He stared straight ahead. “How about you?”

  I beamed. “Oh, just wonderful. My boyfriend dumped me for another girl, spread a total lie about me, and the entire softball team hates me.”

  His eyes widened in shock as they turned to settle on me. We stopped outside the weight room. Owen put his hands on his hips, catching his breath. “Yeah, I heard about you and Dylan. Sorry.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not.”

  He pulled back in surprise. “You’re not?”

  “I was at first.” I hooked my thumbs in the loops on my jeans. “But then I realized how much I’d changed being with Dylan. I kind of lost myself.”

  Owen broke out in a laugh. It took him a few seconds to compose himself. “Is it weird that I feel the same way about him? I mean, we weren’t dating, obviously, but he was a really good friend.”

  “Is that why you stopped hanging out?”

  He nodded. “Dylan has a way of bringing out the worst in people. I didn’t like who I was.” His face reddened. “I’m still mad I let him talk me into pushing Val into the pool. I had no idea about her past.”

  “Me, either,” I said. “I found out after the fact.” My stomach rolled. “It makes me so sick just thinking about it.”

  “Same.” Owen motioned to the door. “We should probably hide or something.”

  “Right,” I said.

  Coach Wilkes walked up, stopping when she saw us. “What are you two doing?” She eyed the two of us suspiciously, like she’d caught us doing something completely illegal.

  “Hide-and-seek.” I gave her a thumbs-up. “Apparently, we’re five years old again.”

  Owen snickered.

  Coach just narrowed her eyes like she didn’t believe us. “Stay out of the weight room. The school can’t afford to fix anything you break from reliving your childhood days.” With that, she opened the door and stepped into the weight room.