Only This Night (Silhouette Reissued)

by Suzanne Simms

  Brenna pushed her chair back and aimlessly got to her feet. She stood looking out the solitary window in her office, watching the dark storm clouds move across the summer sky.

  It was going to rain.

  Somehow she was comforted by the thought. It had been unbearably hot in Chicago for the past few weeks. Hot and dry. The grass was parched; the flowers, as well as the people, wilted under the unrelenting intensity of a sun that blazed with an almost white heat day after day. The heat was rising now from the sidewalk and pavement outside in a rippling optical illusion.

  Yes, it was definitely going to rain. And, by the looks of the slate gray clouds, it was going to come down in bucketfuls. But it was more than the prospect of the much-needed rain that was a comfort to her. If she were a girl again, she would stand out in that rain and let it wash her, renew her with its life-giving force. That was what rain had always been for her, the beginning of something new.

  Perhaps it was time for other new beginnings as well. There came a time in everyone’s life when the past and the present could be joined together to create a future. And it seemed that her time had come.

  What would her future be? Brenna asked herself as she watched the first drops of rain splatter against the windowpane. The choice was hers. She knew that—all too well.

  Garrett had been on a business trip to the West Coast for the last two days. He’d called late last night to tell her he would arrive in Chicago sometime this afternoon. It was the first time they’d been separated for more than a few hours in the past three weeks. But his absence had given her the opportunity to imagine what her future would be like without him. It wasn’t a very pretty picture, Brenna admitted to herself.

  Somehow, in some way, Garrett had become a necessary part of her life. She needed him. It was that simple. And with each passing day she had come to realize more and more just how much she loved him. She loved him without reservation and without fear, knowing that he loved her too.

  He’d certainly told her often enough. Although, now that she thought about it, the subject of marriage had not been raised between them since that fateful night.

  Dear God, what if he had changed his mind? What if he had tired of waiting for her to admit that she loved him? She’d thought of telling him—she’d wanted to tell him—but the truth was, she never had.

  Brenna gripped the edge of the windowsill until her knuckles were white. And what if—by some cruel twist of the fates—Garrett were never to return? She would have to live each day for the rest of her life knowing she had never told him that she loved him. She wasn’t sure she could live with that kind of awful knowledge.

  Good Lord, she was letting her imagination get the better of her, she realized as she moved away from the window. It was time she planted both of her feet back on old terra firma where they belonged! Besides, she was behind on her paperwork and it wasn’t about to magically disappear with a snap of her fingers, no matter how much she might like it to.

  She was industriously studying the latest cost estimate for the chemicals used in the swimming pools and whirlpools at all “New Beginning” locations when a brief knock sounded on the door of her office. Brenna glanced up just as Pat Dreyer’s blond head appeared in the doorway, followed by her slender, leotard-clad form.

  “Hey, boss, are you feeling all right?” the young woman inquired in a concerned tone as she advanced into the room. “You look awfully pale.”

  “Yes, I’m feeling fine,” Brenna quickly assured her, one hand self-consciously going to her face. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, that’s all,” she added for Pat’s benefit.

  “Listen, I hate to bother you with something like this,” her manager began in a hesitant manner, “but there’s a man outside who says he wants to sign up for a lifetime membership.”

  Brenna looked up at the woman with a broad smile. “A lifetime membership, huh? Well, that should help to balance the books for another week,” she laughingly joked.

  Pat Dreyer cleared her throat as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I’m afraid there’s just one little itty-bitty problem …”

  “And what’s that?” Brenna said as she scraped her chair back. “You have all the necessary contract forms in your office, don’t you? If not, you’ll find some in my file cabinet.”

  The pretty blonde waved that consideration aside. “No, that’s not the problem. I have plenty of the contract forms.” She inhaled twice in quick succession and went on. “The problem is, Brenna, the man has refused to talk to me. He insists on dealing with you personally.”

  “How odd,” she commented, tossing her pencil down onto the desk as she got to her feet. It had been standard procedure from the beginning that each manager was to run her own spa without any day-to-day interference on Brenna’s part. She was only called in when an emergency seemed to warrant it. “Did the man give you any particular reason for wanting to talk to me?”

  Pat Dreyer sighed and shook her head. “Nope, he wouldn’t give me a reason. He just kept insisting that he had to deal with you personally.” Then a dreamy little smile touched the edges of the young woman’s mouth. “I’ll have to say one thing for the man: he sure is a handsome devil!”

  “Handsome devil?” Brenna repeated, almost to herself. She knew right then there was something suspicious about this entire setup. “This ‘handsome devil’ wouldn’t happen to be over six feet tall with black hair and very dark eyes, would he?”

  Pat’s very blue eyes went wide with amazement. “Yes, but how did you guess?” Then she seemed to realize that guessing had nothing to do with it. “Is he a friend of yours?”

  “You might say so.” Brenna’s reply was deliberately vague.

  “Then he’s more than just a friend,” the woman hazarded with a knowing smile.

  “You might say that, too.”

  Pat’s smile continued to grow wider and wider. “Well, I’m glad you finally took my advice.” At that, Brenna raised her eyebrows in a quizzical arch. “About loosening up a little,” she teased as she turned to leave the office. “I take it you’ll see your ‘friend’ now.”

  “Yes, please show him in,” she responded in a businesslike tone. Brenna was standing at her file cabinet with her back to the door when she felt that hot, tingling sensation at the back of her neck. She took a deep breath and turned around. “Well, speaking of the devil!”

  Garrett was standing in the doorway watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. Then, with one hand he reached back and firmly closed the office door. “So, this is where the lady executive spends her days,” he drawled, hurling himself into a chair and taking a cigarette from his shirt pocket. He leisurely lit it and exhaled as he looked around. “Nice place you’ve got here, Brenna.”

  She acknowledged the quasi compliment with a curt nod of her head. “You’re all wet,” she pointed out, noting the damp patches on the shoulders of his suit jacket.

  “Haven’t you noticed?” he said in a conversational tone. “It’s raining outside. The temperature has dropped ten degrees in the last hour alone,” he added congenially. Then a small frown appeared on his forehead. “Aren’t you going to ask me how my trip to the coast went?”

  “All right,” Brenna cut in abruptly as she threw her loose, dark hair back from her shoulders. If he wanted to play games, then, by God, they would play games! “How did your trip to the coast go?”

  “It went well,” he replied. Then his eyes grew darker as he met and held her gaze. “Did you miss me while I was gone, honey?”

  She tried to give a nonchalant little shrug. “Yes, of course I missed you,” she said with a voice that made a mockery of her feelings. “Garrett, what are you doing here?” she finally demanded.

  “Oh, didn’t your manager tell you?” he said with what appeared to be a totally innocent smile. “I’m here to take out a lifetime membership in “New Beginning.” In fact, if we can come to some kind of agreement on the terms, I’d like to sign up for a family m
embership.”

  “A family membership?” Brenna gave a short laugh. Two could play this game of his! “Isn’t that a little ridiculous when you aren’t even married?” she pointed out to him. “I think you’ll find our single membership more than meets your requirements.”

  In one fluid movement, Garrett ground his cigarette out in the ashtray at his elbow and shot out of the chair. “If I say I want a family membership, then I damned well mean a family membership!” He reached out and unceremoniously caught hold of her shoulder. “Don’t you think it’s time you stop playing games and face facts?”

  “You’re a fine one to accuse me of playing games!” she retorted hotly. “The past three weeks have been just one big game, with you the game master!”

  “That was different,” he said explosively.

  “And how do you figure that?” she charged, stabbing at his chest with the pointed nail of one finger.

  “I did what I had to,” he replied in a tight voice. “And it served a definite purpose. What you’re doing now serves no purpose whatsoever.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” she snapped, her temper getting the better of her. “They say that revenge is sweet.”

  He glared down at her. “Revenge?”

  “Yes, revenge.” She glared back at him. “Revenge for all the times you blithely kissed me good night and left me lying there alone in my bed unable to sleep. Beneath all this makeup, mister, I’ve got circles under my eyes that reach down to my navel!”

  “Well, what in the hell do you think it’s been like for me?” Garrett asked with a lion’s roar. “I haven’t been able to sleep either, lady. I’ve thought about you and thought about you until I’m half-crazy.”

  “You certainly are that!” she exclaimed with grand certainty.

  “And it’s little wonder,” he went on in a husky, furious baritone. “What do you think it’s been like to love a woman, to want to marry a woman who thinks I’m good enough to be her lover but not good enough to be her husband?”

  Brenna opened her mouth and closed it again. “That’s not true!” she denied vehemently. “That’s just not true.”

  “Then what is true, Brenna?” he growled remorselessly. “You tell me, because I don’t know anymore. Hell, you’ve got me coming and going until I don’t even know where I am half the time.”

  “What’s true,” she began, taking little jabs at his chest, “is the fact that I need you, the fact that I want you,”—she took a deep breath before she finished—“the fact that I’m in love with you!”

  “Well, now’s a hell of a fine time to tell me!” Garrett shot back, catching her about the throat with one large hand. He held her in his grasp for what seemed like a small eternity, his dark eyes blazing down into hers as if he were searching the very depths of her heart, if not her soul. “And just when did you reach this profound conclusion?” he asked, staring at his hand as if it must surely belong to someone, anyone but himself.

  After a pause, she inhaled and hoarsely whispered, “I first thought about it the morning you made love to me, the morning we made love,” she amended as he dropped his hand to her shoulder. “I tried to tell myself that it was merely infatuation, a delayed case of adolescent puppy love. I even tried to convince myself that every woman was entitled to one wild, impetuous fling in her lifetime and that you were going to be mine,” she admitted, shying away from the interrogation burning brightly in his coal black eyes. “You were right I was afraid. I was a damned coward.”

  “And now?” he prodded in a tone of strained civility.

  Brenna raised her head and bravely met his intense gaze. “And now I’m no longer afraid,” she stated with unreserved certainty. “Now I know that I love you, that I’ll always love you.”

  She witnessed the miraculous change that took place in him and gave a silent prayer of thanks, knowing that it wasn’t too late for her. She had indeed been given a second chance to love and to be loved.

  “Oh, lady, you’ve been leading me on one hell of a merry chase,” Garrett growled as he drew a long, steadying breath. He gently placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her closer. “I hope you realize the gamble I took these past few weeks. But I knew it was worth the risk when the game is played for keeps.” Then he bent his head and took her mouth in a tender, loving kiss.

  “Are we playing for keeps?” Brenna asked in a soft voice as she tilted her head back to look up into his face, wanting his reassurance, needing to hear the words.

  “Dear God, yes!” he exclaimed, his hands fastening around her like a gentle vise. “Oh, honey, we can make it I know that now, more than ever. I realize you’ve had your doubts about me, about us, but I’ve found out in the past few weeks that I can forgive myself as well as others. You’ve shown me how, my sweet, forgiving lady.” His voice cracked for a moment. “I’ve discovered that there is something even stronger than hate, and that is my love for you. Knowing that, I can let my hate go, sweetheart I have no reason to hold on to it or to the past. The past can’t hurt either of us now. I understand and believe that for the first time. As long as I have you, I have everything I need in this lifetime and for whatever comes after. You are my future, darling, just as I’m yours. We can make a new beginning together. I believe that with all my heart God, I do love you, Brenna Richards!”

  “And I love you, Garrett Forsyte, with all my heart and soul,” she solemnly vowed as her arms wrapped his waist. “I want to go on loving you every day and every night for the rest of my life.”

  “Then you must have read my mind, honey, because that’s exactly how I intend to love you,” he pledged with a tenderness that reached out to encompass her. “I want you to be my wife, my lover, my friend.”

  “And you, my darling man, will be my husband, my lover, my best friend,” she promised as a tear of happiness welled up at the edge of her eye and slipped down her cheek.

  “And the father of your children,” he added with a half-sly, half-wistful smile.

  “That too, if we put our minds to it,” she murmured in a throaty alto, finding it difficult to make light of the matter. “You know I’m not getting any younger, darling.”

  “Then I suggest we get the hell out of here since we’re both getting older by the minute,” Garrett rasped in a husky voice as he grasped her firmly by the hand and urged her toward the door. Then he stopped, and gazed down at her with eyes darkened by desire. “That is, unless you want our first child to be conceived in the unromantic setting of an office.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Brenna looked up at him with a shy, teasing smile. “I seem to recall that an office can be a very romantic setting if it’s the right man and the right woman.”

  “Believe me, I’m almost tempted,” he told her on an impatient note. “But I want you all to myself. I’ve waited this long, I think I can manage to keep my hands off you a little while longer.” Then he glanced down at the soft, feminine hand moving provocatively up and down his arm. “But if I were you, sweetheart, I wouldn’t press my luck.”

  “Is that a threat or a promise?” she asked as she blithely swept past him and out the door.

  “I’ll follow you in my car,” Garrett informed her as they reached the exit leading to the parking lot. “It’s raining cats and dogs out there, Brenna. So for God’s sake, drive carefully,” he instructed, his voice snapping with masculine authority.

  “I’m going to make a run for it!” she called over her shoulder as she took off for the spot where her car was parked.

  “This is insane,” Garrett muttered to himself, watching as the steel gray BMW shot out of the parking lot at sixty miles an hour. He made a mad dash for his own car and followed at an equally fast pace.

  Brenna pulled into the driveway alongside her house and quickly got out of her car. She stood there in the pouring rain waiting for Garrett as he parked his car behind hers.

  “What took you so long?” she shouted above a loud clap of thunder, choosing to ignore the fierce
expression that dominated Garrett’s features.

  “You’re crazy, lady, do you know that?” he shouted back at her, wiping the water from his eyes.

  “I don’t care,” she laughed, tilting her face up to catch the rain as she hugged herself and twirled in a graceful pirouette. “I love rainstorms!”

  “I don’t mean the rain,” Garrett roared in a leonine voice. “Don’t you realize, soon-to-be Mrs. Forsyte, that you ran not one, but two red lights in as many blocks back there?” He angrily held up two fingers in front of her nose. “You’re just damned lucky you didn’t have an accident!”

  “I’ll have you know I’m usually a very good driver,” Brenna argued in her own defense. “I guess I had other things on my mind.” She pushed the dripping strands of hair back off her face and took an aggressive little step toward him. “Besides, I was in a hurry. Now, are we going to stand out here in the rain while you lecture me about my driving or are we going inside?”

  “Promise me you won’t ever do anything like that again,” came the soft command as Garrett closed the kitchen door behind them and took her, wet clothes and all, into his embrace.

  “I promise,” she murmured placatingly, entwining her arms about his neck. “You know, you could catch your death of pneumonia in those wet clothes,” she went on in a softly seductive voice.

  “For crying out loud, honey, it’s eighty degrees outside,” he pointed out in a thoroughly rational manner.

  “In that case,”—Brenna first slipped the suit coat from his shoulders, letting it drop to the kitchen floor, and then went to the buttons of his shirt—“you’re definitely overdressed.”

  “I couldn’t agree with you more,” Garrett muttered as he began to remove her clothes with a light and tender touch. Then they stood there in only their wet skins, gazing at each other with a loving passion. “Where do you keep your bath towels, honey?” he asked in a husky whisper.