by Anna Hub
“Right, and now you know how to do that?”
"Your sarcasm is exhausting. You know that?"
"Sorry."
I shook it off. "A lot of plants are edible, and I know it sounds gross, but there’s high nutritional content in bugs.”
He laughed.
“Okay, maybe the plants are a more appealing idea, but it’s harder to know which are poisonous. I read that you can rub the plant on your skin first to test for a reaction. If nothing happens, you can try it on your lips and tongue.”
“Where did you get that information?”
“The Internet.”
“Are you serious?” He smiled for the first time. “When I said learn to survive, I meant it more as a figure of speech.”
Thankfully it was too dark for him to see the heat in my cheeks. “I thought you’d already done this: searched for survival tactics.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t realise I would need it.”
“Maybe I’ll find something that helps—both of us, that is.” It was already obvious he wouldn’t count on it but we passed the hours as I relayed the information to him, and eventually, he stopped feeling like a stranger.
My eyes drooped and now and then my head sagged to the side.
I sat up straight and checked to see if Brayden was still awake. "Will you talk to me? I don't want to fall asleep."
"Why's that?"
"I'm afraid of what could happen."
"I would wake you if we were in danger." For the first time since I'd come here, he seemed genuine. More like the guy I had met in the restaurant. The one who wanted to help.
“What if you didn't have time? Or I was too groggy and couldn't run fast enough?"
"You've felt the adrenaline, right? It's designed for those exact moments; to prepare you in the split of a second."
"I guess."
"Over the last few weeks, I've come to put my trust in it and eventually you will too."
I shifted my weight and wiped my face, still eager to shake the fatigue. "I'm also worried about how frequently I'm passing. It happened twice in a twenty-four hour period. Do you remember when that first happened to you?”
He explained what he could remember of his passing schedule and confirmed it was happening to me much faster.
"It only sped up once I started using my shadow to go back home. Do you think that could have something to do with it?” I asked.
“I guess it took me a while to figure out the shadow would take me back to the other world. Maybe you're right, maybe forcing it somehow speeds up the process.”
If that was true, I might have less than five months before my body was in the same condition as Brayden’s. Before I reached that state, I needed to find the safest place to pass from, and it had to be as close to Brayden's hospital as possible. Passing from my bedroom had never landed me in immediate danger, but it was close to the reptile’s cave. The thought sent a shiver through me.
“Last night, or yesterday in this world, I passed into a cave.” The sudden turn of his head made me wonder if he knew what I was going to say. “I was chased out by something. A reptile of some kind.”
“What happened?”
“I must have been close to the cave exit when it found me. I ran and managed to get out, but it followed. It wasn't as fast out in the sunlight like it couldn't see me properly. I climbed a tree, and it climbed after me."
“How did you get away?”
“I lost my grip on the branches and fell. My shadow caught me as I hit the ground and I woke up in my apartment.”
“You passed from your home and landed in the cave?”
The look on his face made me realise, “You know the creature I’m talking about?”
“I’ve seen them kill the grey-eyed hunters.”
I shuddered. “I don’t know where else to pass. The bottom level of my apartment is a cave, my office is a river, and there is nowhere else I can go without being seen.”
“Where did you land today?”
“The bedroom is upstairs, it must be just above the cave. It’s where I pass from most of the time.”
“Is there anywhere else you can stay?”
“My brother lives outside the city. It would mean being further away from you, and if he saw me pass, he'd take me straight to hospital. Then I’d be up against the same issues; unknown location, further distance from Mercy—”
“You’re right.” He rubbed at his chin. “I've seen the reptiles before, but only at night.”
“So if I try to pass when it's day in the shadow world, it might help?”
“You can’t force yourself through the shadows too often, or there will be less chance of it working when you need it to. Plus, you don't want to speed up the process if you can help it.”
“I won’t force myself through but maybe turning the lights low when I don’t want to come through will lower the chances of passing.”
Brayden nodded slowly. "It can't hurt to try it. I know I told you not to travel at night, but given how close you are to the cave, you don't really have a choice. As soon as you land, you have to come straight here. I’ll keep an eye out for you.”
He may have felt hopeless when it came to his own life, but he did, at least, show some interest in preserving mine.
Gradually, the crickets fell silent, and Brayden sighed. “It will be sunrise soon.”
Even though the sun hadn't come over the horizon yet, I could see his features more clearly. The dark smudges beneath his eyes translated into this world but the sadness seemed a little more distant for once.
“I guess you’re ready to go back?” He turned his head away, and my heart warmed at the thought that he might have actually enjoyed my company.
I opened my mouth but couldn't bring myself to offer to stay. Although we'd finally made progress and a sense of trust was building, my shoulders were still tense with stress, and hunger stirred through my empty stomach. Still, leaving him wouldn't be easy. "I’m going to go home, make myself bacon and eggs.”
He frowned before he realised it was a joke and a small smile cracked on his lips. "Let's not waste any more time then." His eyes widened—with friendly sarcasm this time. "I don’t want you here anymore anyway.”
I smiled, relieved he'd recognised the humour. I waited for him to turn away before I stood up and exposed my naked body.
It was a steep climb, and I found myself hanging back slightly, trying to hide my body from his view. It wasn’t that I really had anything in particularly to be ashamed of, but I couldn’t help feeling vulnerable. And now that I had spent more time with him, it felt more personal.
At the top of the peak, the warmth of the sun spread over me. It felt good to have a way out.
“Go and enjoy your bacon and eggs. I’ll just find some grubs to munch on.”
I grinned. “Soon you’ll be the bionic man with your feeding tube; you won’t have to eat anything at all.”
His smile faded. “I guess that’s one good thing.”
“Are you going to try?” I looked at his shadow.
“Always ends with a face full of dirt, but yes.” He took my hand.
Together we leaned and allowed ourselves to fall forward. For the first time, I didn’t flinch as the ground rose to meet me but as my hands touched on the earth, they felt all too real. My cheek smashed against the floor, and the thud made my head spin.
Brayden’s hand disappeared from mine, and I lifted my head. He was gone. Somehow he'd gone through to the hospital, and I was the one left behind.
"Brayden?" I called uselessly.
I pushed myself to my knees and checked the surrounding forest. For now, it was completely still, but at the top of the peak, I would have been easy to spot. I turned full circle, thinking of all the dangers this forest held. It was the first time the pass failed, and that seemed to mark the beginning of the end. My muscles trembled and the longer I stood there, the worse it got. A crack broke the silence, the trees rustling as a strong breeze sw
ept through. Despite the terror, I had to think rationally. The first thing I had to do was return to the protection of the shelter.
The sun grew brighter, and the shadows stretched all around the shelter. I wanted to try again but was too afraid of failing. Instead, I crawled inside and hugged my knees to my chest. I hadn't expected to lose control of the passing so soon. And there was no telling how long it would be before Brayden returned. Now that I knew more about this world, the thought of being here alone terrified me all the more. I tried to console myself with thoughts that the shelter would keep me safe, but it was impossible to ignore the reality. It was no more than strategically placed branches. They wouldn't stop the hunters or reptiles crashing through.
The more time that passed, the more my fear grew, rapid breathing quickly drying out my throat, leaving me longing for water. It had been a long night, and I started to wonder how long I could survive without a drink. Brayden spent far longer than this without returning but with the hospital looking after him, there was no chance of dehydration. I didn’t have the same luxury. With the freedom of staying in my own home, came the risk of neglect. Suddenly the cost seemed to outweigh the benefits. When I returned, I needed to find as much information as possible. After that, perhaps hospitalisation would be worth consideration. I didn’t want to jump too far ahead, but I promised myself that when I was spending more time here than in my own world, it would be a good idea to admit myself. According to the patterns in Brayden’s schedule—I didn’t have long.
The day passed slowly. I peeked through the gaps in foliage, watching the forest sway in the wind, longing to be back in the other world. It was easier to be positive from the safety of my home, but now it was beginning to make sense that Brayden’s spirit had been whittled away to nothing. He told me he usually spent no more than a few hours in the hospital before returning to the shadow world but as the day wore on I couldn't help worrying. I hoped he was, at least, enjoying the time with the people he cared about, even though I'd rather he was here. Still, it served as a reminder that I had to know how to look after myself in this world. There was no telling how long it might be before I returned home, and while the body could survive a long time without food, water was essential. If I were going to venture out of the shelter, the middle of the day would be the best time to do it. Once dusk set in, it would be too dangerous, and if I hadn't passed back home by then, I'd be left another night without having anything to drink.
I moved slowly, taking careful note of my surroundings rather than running flat out. The river wasn't too far away; the one I'd fallen into when I'd passed from my office. During the day, it would be easier to find. I felt more certain of the direction and walked until the sound of water flowing urged me into a run.
The pungent smell of the forest seemed to dissipate as the river ran closer and brought freshness. I breathed deeply, smiling as the trees finally broke and the river flowed past. I could already feel the water in my mouth as I kneeled down. Despite the urge to drink straight away, I needed to be cautious. The water was fast flowing which meant it was likely to be fresh. I dipped a finger in and sniffed carefully before tasting it. It had an earthy flavour that tap water didn't match, but it seemed clean enough. I leaned closer and cupped handfuls into my mouth, relieved to finally sooth the dryness in my throat.
I drank as much as I could manage, looking over my shoulder now and then to make sure I was alone. It even seemed to make the hunger less prominent for a while. I cleaned the dirt from my face and smoothed the hair away from my face before heading back to the shelter.
Surviving the trip to the river gave me more confidence and helped me to relax once concealed inside Brayden's shelter again. The afternoon still passed slowly, but part of the stress was gone now that I'd had enough to drink.
The sun sunk lower and with it, my chance of passing back diminished. The ground outside was relatively clear, no sharp sticks to injure me if the passing failed again.
I took a deep breath, then stared at the shadow on the ground, daring to hope it might transport me. With closed eyes, I fell forward. The air was forced from my lungs with the impact of the fall, and the jolt made my back crack. I thumped my fist as frustration took over. It looked like a night alone after all.
Chapter Nine
I dreamt I was dying; my body paralysed as my mind slipped away to another existence. I felt light and empty until the forest shelter rustled and dragged me back to reality. My eyes snapped open; air caught deep in my lungs as the silhouette of a figure appeared before me. I retreated to the back corner of the shelter, unable to prevent a small squeak escaping me as I moved.
"Selena?"
I exhaled, relieved by the sound of Brayden's voice.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
My head spun as I struggled to catch up with everything. "You scared the shit out of me."
"Why are you still here?"
"I didn’t pass.”
“What?” He leaned forward until the filtered moonlight caught his face.
“I’ve been trapped here all day.”
"That shouldn't have happened so soon."
I folded my arms, too tired and hungry to even think about it. "I'm sure I'll go back soon."
He nodded, silent as though he recognised my struggle. It was then in the pause that I realised his own expression was so guarded. I wasn't sure if he could see me as clearly in the darkness but I could have sworn we each mirrored an unspoken heartbreak.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
His profile showed his mouth moving as though he wanted to speak but no sound came out. He’d been gone for longer than usual, and I’d been so caught up in my own problem, I hadn't considered that something bad may have happened to him.
“What happened while you were back?” I imagined him lying in bed, his girlfriend stroking his face.
“I don’t know what was different ... I couldn’t really open my eyes, and I felt tired,” he paused. “It was strange.”
Nausea stirred in the base of my stomach. What did that mean? He seemed like the kind of guy who would downplay everything. "Did the hospital staff say anything?"
He shook his head, but I knew he was hiding something. I imagined myself in his situation; family and friends standing at my bed while I tried to fight my way back, never quite staying long enough to explain what was really happening. I placed my hand over his. Even without words, we shared something that no one else would understand.
We both settled in the darkness, each lost in our own mourning. I had no concept of what time it might be but sleep seemed too far away.
"Tell me about your old life,” I whispered.
Brayden exhaled heavily. “What do you want to know?”
“How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-nine.”
“You have one brother?” I asked.
“How do you know that?"
Should I admit the truth? "I saw him, well I—this is going to sound crazy—I followed him to the Mercy Institute."
Brayden released an uncertain laugh. "That does sound crazy."
"I didn't know how else to find you."
"How did you find my brother?"
"I got your booking details from the Bistro and searched the address in the White Pages."
"You're determined. I'll give you that." He stretched his legs and shifted into a different position. "What I said at the restaurant must have scared you."
I shrugged. "I thought you were nuts. But then I started dreaming about this forest and eventually waking up with cuts on my body. If you hadn't said anything, we probably wouldn't have found each other here." The thought of being trapped in this nightmare alone made me shudder.
"I know I'm probably not great company," he said quietly. "But I'm glad you're here."
"Me too." I sighed. “I only wish I'd been camping before so sleeping out here wasn't so hard to adjust to.”
“I used to camp all the time, but it's still weird for me.”
<
br /> “You never think about how easy life is, having food and water accessible all the time. I’m so thirsty right now, but I know how far away water is.”
“Maybe you’ll go back home soon. You can still pass in the darkness you know?”
“But there’s no shadow.”
“There’s always a shadow. It’s not strong in the moonlight, so it’s unlikely to take you often but remember the shadows first steal you while you’re sleeping. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t sleep with the light on.”
It was a small comfort to know I might not have to wait until dawn.
“Where is your body right now?” he asked.
“In bed.” The image of my body lying empty in my apartment made my skin crawl. It reminded me that I was working against the clock. I only had a matter of weeks before my body would need medical care. I needed to find a way out before that happened.
The sun rose, and we stepped out of the shelter. I used a branch to conceal my naked body, casting a quick look at Brayden to make sure hadn't seen me without it.
I couldn't help doing a double take as his cheek seemed to shift. "What’s that?”
He straightened as he caught my expression. "What?"
A clean streak of skin ran through the middle of the dark stubble on his cheek. Another line appeared as I stared. “Is your hair is falling out?”
His posture relaxed once again. “No, they’re shaving me. It happens all the time.”
“Really? That’s actually pretty cool.”
“I guess. It's about the only cool thing that's happened since I've been trapped here.” He looked down to the ground and when he lifted his chin, all the hair was gone.
“That’s amazing.”
“Sophie believes you should always look your best no matter where you are.” Her name wiped my smile away. “I always found it really annoying, but now it's finally come in handy.” He scowled at the irony, and I forced a smile. "Shall we head to the top of the slope?"
We walked in silence to the peak, and I prayed that the pass would take me this time. “Are you going back?”