I Never Planned on You

by Stefanie Jenkins

  She shrugs but doesn’t say no. She takes a sip of her drink, then says, “Okay, you pick.”

  Hmmmm, which can I learn more about this girl with? “How about Twenty Questions, just so we aren’t too drunk to finish up those cinnamon rolls.”

  Dani tips her beer in my direction. “Valid point. Would hate for you to not be able to claim you made them because you were too drunk to make something good,” she says with a giggle at the end. That giggle—I could listen to that every day. I prop my feet up on the coffee table as she brings her legs underneath her. I love when I see her comfortable in our house.

  “I guess I’ll go first. Favorite food?”

  She smiles. “Cheese fries, but they have to be curly fries.”

  “That’s so specific,” I laugh, and she interrupts me with, “And delicious. What about you?”

  “I used to say my favorite food was pizza, but I definitely think it’s that lasagna you make. That was so fucking good.”

  Dani blushes at my compliment. “Well, maybe if you are a good enough student with this dish, then maybe I’ll teach you how to make that next.”

  Is she flirting with me? The little smile that greeted her lips at the moment and the look in her eye…yep, she is definitely flirting with me. Okay, game on, Jacobs. I adjust myself on the couch and break our staring contest. What I wouldn’t do to reach out and pull her into my lap and press my lips to hers.

  “So, Kyler…that’s a different name. I only ever heard it in a book I read once. Is it a family name?”

  This question always makes me laugh a little because I remember as a kid people always messing my name up with Tyler. “Well, it’s pretty simple. My parents couldn’t decide on a name when they were pregnant with me. My dad wanted Kyle, and my mom wanted to name me Tyler, so this was kind of their compromise, I guess.”

  Over the next hour, we go from asking simple questions like favorite books to what it was like growing up with twin sisters. We forget the limit of only asking twenty questions. Not only does our conversation constantly flow, but it’s easy. The shy, nervous girl that arrived at dinner the other night is long gone.

  “Well…” She slaps her hands on her thighs and stands. “I’m going to go check on the dough.” She heads toward the kitchen but stops and looks back at me over her shoulder. “You coming?”

  I nod and rise to my feet to follow her but not without letting my eyes drop down to her luscious ass as she walks away. Get yourself together, Ky.

  The rolls smell absolutely ah-may-zing! Damn, who knew I would be able to pull this off? I’d say Dani is a fucking amazing teacher if these taste as good as they smell. I’ll have to try to make these one day for Mom and the girls.

  Dani takes one of the cinnamon rolls out and slices it in half, giving me one slice. I watch her slowly bring her half to her mouth and take a bite. She closes her eyes and moans. “Mmmmmmmm.” That is seriously the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I want to make her make the sound again and not just with food I helped make.

  She covers her mouth after taking a second bite. “Well…are you going to taste it or what?” I nod and take a bite. Holy fucking shit, they do taste as delicious as they smell.

  “Fuck yeah!” I shove the rest of my half in my mouth and reach out and pick Dani up. She yelps as I spin her around. When I set her down, she looks more nervous than ever.

  “Sorry, I just got so excited that it didn’t turn out like shit. Guess I earned another lesson now with that lasagna, huh?”

  She diverts her eyes and blushes, her cheeks now the rosiest shade of pink. As she looks down at the floor, I see there is a drop of icing left on her lips. “You got a little something right…” I drag my thumb across her bottom lip to get the icing at the same time as her tongue slides out to clean it off. The tip of her tongue grazes my thumb, and I am instantly aroused. Her eyes meet mine as she closes her lips around my thumb and sucks the spare icing that I had gotten. Her blue eyes darken like I have never seen them before. The way she’s looking at me, I would say she wants me to kiss her, but maybe I’m just reading the signs wrong. Once this happens, there is no going back.

  I can feel her breathing change, and her eyes move from my eyes to my lips a few times. Okay, yes, she definitely wants me to kiss her. We could cut the sexual tension in the room with a knife. Should I? Is she ready for that? Fuck, why am I having an argument with myself instead of making a move?

  She doesn’t move away as I place my hand on her hip to keep her steady.

  “Tell me to stop,” I tell her as I slowly close the distance between us. She doesn’t say anything, so as I take her cheek in my hand and brush her soft skin, I say against her lips, “Dani, I’m gonna kiss you now. Tell me if you want me to stop.” Shit, please don’t tell me to stop. She wets her lips instead of saying no, so I gently press my lips to hers.

  I can feel her hesitate at first as I kiss her, but then she kisses me back. As I lick her lips, she opens for me, and I explore her mouth with my tongue. She tastes sweet and I already know I won’t be able to get enough of her.

  The kiss starts innocent but quickly becomes heated. I increase the pressure as her hands grip my hips, and walk her backward a few steps, my hands never leaving her body, until she’s leaning up against the island. I place my hands behind her thighs and lift her up onto it.

  I spread her legs to stand between them while she sits on the counter. My hands slide up her thighs and come around to her ass and pull her toward me. As if on instinct, her legs wrap around me. Holy fuck, is this real?

  I kiss her as if I’ll never get to kiss her again, and who knows, this might just be a moment of weakness and I will in fact never get to kiss her or touch her again. She suddenly pulls back, completely out of breath. Her eyes look different, but I can’t clearly make out what she might be thinking.

  It’s not just sadness in her eyes…it’s something else.

  Holy fucking shit! I must be dreaming. That was…that was…wow! I am at a loss for words. I go to open my mouth to speak but close it for the words haven’t come together yet as to what I want to say. Part of me wants to slap him for doing that, but more importantly, I think I want to do it again. I avoid looking in his eyes and hop off the counter. We are still only standing inches away from each other, and I am tempted to jump into his arms, wrap my legs around him, and beg him to take me to bed.

  What was I thinking? I can’t do this again. People date and fall in love and then get their heart broken. It’s not like it happens on purpose—I mean, sometimes it does, but in my case it wasn’t.

  The words finally hit my brain moments later and connect to my mouth. “I…I… Ummm…I should go.” I point toward my bedroom. “To bed. Early morning tomorrow and all.”

  He’s just staring at me. I can’t read his expression. Maybe he regrets it or maybe he doesn’t—either way, I need to get out of here like now. Leaving the house would be too obvious, so retreating to my room will have to do even though he is just in the room next door.

  Kyler nods. “Yeah, sure. I’ll finish cleaning everything up here and see you in the morning.”

  I smile at him before turning to leave the kitchen, but stop when Kyler says, “Hey, Dani.” I turn around, and he closes the distance between us. I look up at him, getting lost in those chocolate eyes.

  “I just wanted to say thanks for tonight and for asking me to go tomorrow.” Oh crap. Right. I asked him to go with us to brunch. Act cool, Dani. That kiss is messing with my head. It’s not like it was just a few hours ago that I had asked him. His eyes move back and forth between my eyes and lips. Is he going to kiss me again? Do I want him to kiss me again? He leans forward, and I close my eyes. He presses his lips to my forehead, lingering just a moment before he smiles. “Good night.”

  I open my mouth to respond, but he has already turned around.

  I take a deep breath, run to my room, and quietly close the door. I slide down to the floor and let out a slow breath. Would it be so bad to kiss him a
gain? To want to be in his arms?

  Shaking those thoughts off, I pull my knees to my chest and lay my head on my elbows that are wrapped around my knees. Fuck, I’m in trouble because my mind is on overdrive thinking about Kyler Lawson, my brother’s best friend…again.

  K yler offered to drive us to my parents’ this morning for brunch, which I was fine with. When I mentioned to Zach and Haylee this morning that I had invited Kyler to join us, they seemed a little confused and gave each other a weird look before shrugging it off. I think everyone expected me to fake sick and cancel last minute, not invite someone to join us. I promised myself that I needed to do this. I have to see my parents. It’s time.

  But even though it’s time, it doesn’t mean I’m not terrified at the moment. Zach is sitting up front with Kyler, and Haylee joined me in the back. The giant Toyota Tundra that I saw in the driveway when I arrived, in fact, belongs to Kyler. For being a truck, the back seat is pretty spacious and comfortable. For most of the ride to my parents’ house, I keep to myself, looking out the window at the passing scenery, tuning the conversations between Zach and Haylee and Zach and Kyler in and out. Living outside the city shortens our drive back by about thirty minutes. There are times I look away from the window or up from my hands wrestling each other with nerves and my eyes meet Kyler’s in the rearview mirror. He doesn’t say anything, just looks away or gives me a brief smile.

  I am completely lost in my thoughts of being back home, of seeing my parents and the Hankses for the first time in four years, to realize we have reached our exit on 50. Haylee reaches over as we turn into the driveway and squeezes my wrist, giving me a reassuring smile that lets me know it will all be okay. But will it? Kyler parks his truck in my parents’ driveway, and I take a deep breath, looking out the window at the house I grew up in. Now or never, I say over and over, knowing that never isn’t really an option, at least not for me. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and pull on the door handle to exit the vehicle.

  Zach looks at me with concern as I walk around the truck to where everyone else stands.

  I shake my head. “It’ll be fine. Let’s go.” I’m not sure if I say that more to reassure myself than anyone else.

  In front of me, not only do I see the house that I grew up in, but I see all the memories surrounding my life with Emmett. Walking up the front steps, I see the porch swing where we made plans for the future, our future together.

  Zach walks through the front door without ringing the doorbell. I’m still staring at the porch swing when Kyler touches my elbow and asks, “You coming?”

  Shaking the memory away, I smile briefly in his direction. As I enter the house I am assaulted by more ghosts of memories past. I see the stairs Emmett would chase me up when we’d realize we had the whole house to ourselves. I see the couch where I made Emmett watch every episode of Lost and he never once complained, even though I know it completely mind-fucked him trying to determine where they actually ended up and searched for answers. I see the dining table where we would play footsie while doing our homework after school with Zach and Haylee.

  When I can no longer take a walk down memory lane, I pause and close my eyes, pushing the memories away. When I open them, I look to my left and see Kyler standing there staring at me, trying to get a read on how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. Before I can say anything, he grabs my hand and smiles. “You got this. If it gets too much we can leave, but I really want to share these amazing cinnamon rolls with everyone.”

  He then gives me a pleading face, and how can I turn that down? I feel better from his words and comforted by his touch. But my mind goes back to last night, the elephant in the room that we haven’t discussed any further. Maybe he regrets it since he hasn’t brought it up, or maybe he wants me to bring it up, I’m not sure—I’m not sure how to do all of this stuff. It’s new territory for me. It was always so easy for me and Em.

  As we approach the kitchen, I can hear a familiar sound that also brings comfort—“Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” by The Beatles. Our parents were obsessed, like legit obsessed, with them. Obsessed to the point where I was shocked that Zach or Emmett weren’t named Paul, Ringo, or hell, even Jude. Anytime a cover band came within a four-hour radius, they went and sometimes even dragged us kids along. I didn’t mind it really; over the years I learned to appreciate all forms of music.

  The four of us stand in the hallway leading to the kitchen and watch Dad and Mr. Brian spin Mom and Ms. Natalie around the kitchen. No signs of crying and sadness, just happiness and laughter. It’s as if it’s a normal day for them. If they can be happy, why can’t I?

  We stand there in silence, watching till the song ends, and Zach claps and yells, “Encore! Encore!”

  My mom jumps and turns around, placing her hand on her chest. I stand back behind Zach out of her view. Her eyes go to Zach first, and when he moves to the side, she sees me and her eyes instantly fill with tears. I squeeze Kyler’s hand, and his thumb brushes over my knuckles. Memories of all the calls and texts I ignored over the years come rushing back to fill my mind, and I can feel my eyes filling up as well. Don’t cry, don’t cry, I tell myself. My mind betrays me as tears stream down my face.

  “Hey, Mama,” I manage to get out before she sweeps me into a big hug. My mom always gave the best hugs. I don’t know what it was, but every time I fell and scraped my knees, her hugs always made me feel better. Her shoulders begin to shake as the tears run down her cheeks. I release Kyler’s hand and wrap my arms around her.

  “I missed you so much,” she says as her arms tighten around me. I look up to see Ms. Natalie in Mr. Brian’s arms, and she is crying too. Oh my God, maybe me being here was a bad idea—maybe my being here is bringing up all sorts of bad memories for her. Taking my cheeks in her hands, Mom holds me as if she refuses to let me go. “When your brother said you were coming today, I almost didn’t believe him because I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

  I feel a hand rub my back as I continue to cry in my mother’s arms. I look up from the crook of her neck and see my dad standing there.

  “Hi, Daddy,” I say in between tears. I look at my dad’s face—he looks older as well. Gray threads throughout the hair surrounding his face.

  “Hey, baby girl,” he says as he pulls me out of her arms and into his. Zach and Haylee have moved out of the way to the other side of the kitchen to hug Haylee’s parents. Kyler sets the tray of cinnamon rolls on the counter and joins Zach and Haylee standing out of the way of this homecoming moment.

  My father releases me from his hug but keeps his arm around my shoulders. Just like my mom, I guess he fears if he lets me go I’ll slip away.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I invited Kyler.”

  My mom pulls Kyler into a motherly hug. “Of course not. What a wonderful surprise.” He also shakes my dad’s hand. It’s crazy to see his interaction with my family. I forget that he has been around for years, while I haven’t.

  I know it’s time to hug Natalie and Brian, but is seeing me too painful? Does it remind them of what they lost?

  I cautiously approach Ms. Natalie while everyone stands back watching, but instead of anger or hurt, I see happiness in her eyes. The same look I saw on my best friend’s face when I saw her for the first time in four years. Before I can say anything, she has me pulled into her arms and kisses my temple, just like her son used to. “About time you came home, sweetheart, don’t you think?” she says with a smile. I relax in her embrace. I can feel Mr. Brian close by, but Natalie refuses to let me go so I can hug him. “Get your own Jacobs to hug—I’ve waited four years to hug this one.”

  So, he settles for a kiss to the top of my head and mumbles, “Welcome home.”

  Everyone laughs in the background as Natalie pulls back but doesn’t let go of my arms. She places her forehead against mine. “No more running, right?” I nod, so she continues. “Because we’re your family here, and I’m tired of just your mom’s help in the kitchen. Haylee’s useless.”

 
“Hey!” Hails yells from behind me.

  Zach puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her head. “Babe, I love your cooking, but…”

  Before he can finish, she puts her forefinger in his face. “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, Zachary Jacobs!” She narrows her eyes at him, and he playfully bites her finger.

  Mom claps her hands together. “Okay, who’s hungry? We’ve got a whole brunch spread made.”

  I’m still at Ms. Natalie’s side with my head on her shoulder and my arms around her waist. God, I have missed these people. Mom walks over to the tray that has the cinnamon rolls on it.

  “Oh I brought cinnamon rolls; they just need to be warmed up,” I interject while wiping away my tears as she lifts the foil. Kyler coughs and raises his eyebrows at me. I smile and laugh, remembering our deal last night. “Kyler made them.”

  “Well, then I’m definitely not eating them,” Zach says as he grabs a strawberry from the bowl and shoves it in his mouth.

  Ky punches my brother in the arm and mumbles, “Asshole.”

  “Kyler! Language, please,” my mother scolds, getting a rise out of Zach, who sticks his tongue out at Kyler. I’m not sure why I was so nervous about today; it feels as though I never left. Just like Haylee had, my parents and the Hankses seemed to welcome me home with open arms.

  “They’re quite a pair, huh,” Haylee says, handing me a mimosa. It feels weird drinking alcohol in front of my parents, but we are all of legal drinking age now. I notice Kyler declined one since he’s driving.

  “I think Emmett would’ve loved him,” she adds, grabbing my hand when she senses my body tense up at the mention of his name. “He’s a really good guy—funny, smart, able to handle your brother’s bullshit.”

  When she catches me staring at him, she elbows me in the ribs and adds, “Good-looking. I’m just saying.” She grabs her drink and walks out to the dining room.

  Did she know something happened last night? Maybe Ky had mentioned it to Zach and then he told her, but judging solely on the fact that Ky doesn’t have any bruises or black eyes, I’m thinking he kept what happened last night to himself.