Fascination
Page 18
EJ burst out laughing and Ian joined in. Sarah regarded them both as if they were crazy.
“So when do we start?”
“Meet me at the station tomorrow. You’ll meet who you have to meet, get the paperwork signed and we’ll get going. Is it going to be a problem for you to move so quickly?”
“No problem. I’ll just have my equipment shipped. Any chance the department can pay for that?”
Ian suppressed a smile. “I’ll see what we can do.”
His gaze drifted out the window again, and he saw Sage, still sitting on the wall, chatting to Ray, but she was looking around. For him. He’d told her he would come by as soon as he was done. Her head turned in his direction, and though he knew it was impossible, she seemed to be looking directly at him. Ian stood, speaking distractedly to his new partners. “I’ll see you two tomorrow. Nine sharp.”
He barely heard them voice their agreements as he walked out of the shop.
SAGE SAW IAN CROSS THE street, his gait loose and casual, but the expression on his face was intense as he approached. She found herself smoothing the skirt of her dress somewhat nervously, wishing she didn’t have the large bandage covering her shoulder where her gash was stitched and healing.
She glanced away as he came closer, composing herself, and when she did glance up again, he was standing right in front of her. The emotions in his eyes nearly undid her. She took a stabilizing breath and smiled.
“Ian. I wondered if you were going to make it.”
“I had to meet with EJ and Sarah. I’m sorry to have taken so long. You had a good visit with Ray?”
She looked over at Ray, who was discreetly occupying himself with reloading his supplies.
“Yeah. We had celebratory dogs. I’m pretty stuffed.”
She held her hand to her stomach, the casual chitchat raising her tension levels so that those chili dogs were not happy.
“Are you okay?” Ian’s voice was warm with concern. “Are you still feeling ill?”
“No, no. I’m fine. I’m nervous is all—I’ve been so nervous to see you.”
His brow furrowed. “Why?”
“Because…”
I love you. And you don’t love me back.
She sputtered, “Because it’s just awkward, you know…how everything’s changed. Having everything over.”
He nodded, and her heart broke a little more. Then he held out his hand. She reached out and took it, not sure what was going to happen next.
They walked down to the waterside, not saying anything. Sage liked the feel of her hand wrapped in his—out in the open, walking like lovers who had no cares in the world, no secrets to hide. He turned to her when they were alone and out of earshot of anyone else.
“You’re going to be fine, Sage. I know it must be daunting now, but it will work out.”
She just stared at him—he was talking to her like she was a child. He seemed uncomfortable when she didn’t respond.
“Have you thought about what you’d like to do next?”
Remembering the texture of his skin under her hands, she knew exactly what she’d like to do next.
“I’m not sure yet. Some things are still…unsettled.”
“Of course. I imagine you’ll be spending time with your family?”
She looked over at him, tiring of the dance, the polite conversation, and leaped. She’d had enough. Enough of the games, the deceptions and the waiting. She decided on a straight-on attack. Taking a deep breath, she spoke her thoughts loudly and clearly, never breaking eye contact.
“I love you.”
His eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything. She took a step closer.
“Did you hear me, Ian? Did you hear what I said? I don’t know what to do next because I’ve fallen in love with you and I know you don’t love me back, but still…I hoped….”
The tension was thick between them, and finally he hauled her up close to him, his eyes moving over her face hungrily.
“You love me?”
She nodded, and before she could take her next breath his mouth was on hers, kissing her as if his life depended on it. She heard him mutter something against her lips and drew back.
“What did you just say?”
His eyes, dark with emotion, saw into the very core of her as he spoke.
“I love you, too. I probably shouldn’t even say that, but I want you to know I wasn’t just using you—it wasn’t just sex.” He smiled a sideways kind of smile that melted her heart. “Well, I guess it was at first, but you were always more to me, more than even I knew. It nearly killed me to see you hurt, and it’s killing me to have to step away from this.”
“Step away? From what? You just said you love me. I said I love you. Who’s stepping away?”
His eyes were too serious and she didn’t like the way the atmosphere had changed between them.
“I am. This isn’t going to work—the time isn’t right.”
“What does that mean? What—”
He cut off her question, gripping her by the shoulders, his voice resolute. “You have your whole life, anything you want available to you now. You should go get it. I want you to have everything you ever wanted.”
“Fine.” She stared at him stubbornly. “I want you.”
He shook his head, his eyes tortured but his mouth set in a determined line. He still wanted to be the one in control of everything.
“I don’t want this either, Sage. I’m starting up the new team, there’s a lot going on. I’m not in a place to start a new relationship.”
“So you love me but you don’t want to be with me? Because of your job?” She stared at him, incredulous, and he stiffened defensively.
“That shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.”
She knew he was referring to what he’d told her about his marriage, about not being there for his ex-wife. How he’d let her down by not being there for her.
Then suddenly she realized what was happening—Ian was afraid. Afraid of loving her, afraid he might lose control, afraid he might disappoint her, afraid he couldn’t handle it all. And it made her love him even more to see the glaring chink in his armor. She’d started out seducing him because she thought his sexual desire would be his weakness, but it wasn’t—his weakness was his heart. His fear of hurting her or anyone ever again. He loved her, but he didn’t trust himself. But she did. She trusted him with her life. Literally. She had to find some way to show him that, make him believe it.
Strategizing quickly, she looked into his face as if searching for something and simply said, somewhat coolly, “Okay.”
He seemed startled by her easy capitulation, then slightly suspicious, so she just leaned in, wrapping her arms around him a deep hug lest he read too much in her expression. She inhaled his scent and squeezed tighter—there was no way she was letting him get away. She had one more play left.
“I guess you’re right, but this sucks, and I don’t really want to talk about it anymore, so, uh, I’m going. I just need to get away for a while.”
She risked sharing one more deep look, wondering if he would make a move to make her stay, but he just looked away at the water and nodded. Sage turned and walked away, her lips twitching in a naughty smile. He wasn’t going to know what hit him.
14
IAN COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. He closed his office door and studied the computer screen that he seemed unable to control.
It had been a hellish day and all he wanted to do was go home. But when he’d tried to shut down his computer, a winking female eye had appeared in the center of the screen.
He’d been hacked—but how?
It had to be an inside job; no one could get past the firewall they had set up. Someone had to be in this very office to create this kind of trouble. Or perhaps it was a joke—Sarah, he’d discovered, was full of them. She and EJ had had a good time yanking his chain more than once.
He was in no mood for levity. He was tired and, truth be told, he was lonely. He ached with it
. It had been two days since Sage had walked away from him in the park, but it felt much longer. He’d been hellishly busy at work, but for the first time in his life it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.
He slammed the keyboard hard in frustration and blinked when the screen rolled and a new image appeared. A video feed. He sat in his chair, his jaw dropping.
Sage stood before him, staring out from the screen, and awareness dawned.
She’d hacked him!
Smirking, he realized it had been an inside job—no doubt she’d had help from his two partners. He could swear he’d seen Sarah snicker as she’d left his office for the day.
He heard Sage’s voice warble through the speakers, and even though the technology didn’t do it justice, the sultry sound washed over him, making him hard. His desire for her had only multiplied since she’d gone—must be what they meant about absence making the heart grow fonder, though fondness was far too gentle a term for what Ian was experiencing at the moment. He leaned over the desk, riveted by her words and image.
“Have you missed me, Ian? I’ve missed you.” She drawled the words in the sexiest way possible. “I need you. You’re in my system like a virus, one that won’t go away.”
He saw she was wearing the same flowered dress she’d worn that day in the park. She smiled suggestively, sending heat waves across the space in between them. The picture divided: there were eight, then sixteen images of her filling the entire screen. He hit several keys and nothing happened. She had taken over his machine, the witch. She’d taken control of it, of him. Of his heart. He couldn’t deny it any longer.
“I know you want me, Ian. I know you love me. Guess what? I love you, too.”
She winked and unbuttoned a single button at the top of her dress, and he sucked in his breath. Where was she? Everything was dark around her.
“I won’t stop trying to convince you. I’ve planned an all-out attack on your system. On your life. The only way to make it stop is to find me.”
She undid a few more buttons and shimmied the dress to the floor, standing before him in a lacy black bra and sheer panties. His mouth went dry.
“Where are you?” he rasped.
But she couldn’t hear him, of course. He couldn’t object or argue. He couldn’t even shut her off.
His fingers grasped the end of the desk in frustration. He wanted her—and yes, he loved her. He had resolved to walk away, but he was weakening by the moment. It was bad enough his memories haunted him, but to have her in front of him, beckoning and teasing him…it was more than he could stand. His life was so empty without her.
She laughed as if she knew what he was thinking and undid the clasp of her bra, letting her supple breasts fall free. He licked his lips, watching her dusky nipples pucker. Her copper curls danced in the breeze—she was outside.
As the multiple images of Sage showed her silently sliding out of her panties, he frantically searched the screen for more clues and yelled jubilantly when he found one—the blinking light behind her. It was an airport tower. Just like the one he often watched while sitting on his patio.
“Come to me, Ian.”
But the image on the screen spoke to no one—he was already out the office door.
DRIVING LIKE A MADMAN, Ian tore up the road toward his house. He parked and jumped out of the car, dropping his keys and swearing furiously as he bent to search the sandy ground for them. Finding them, he dashed to the house, opening the door and heading straight for the patio.
But when he opened the sliding door, she wasn’t there. The dress and underwear were left on the teak deck, and he bent, picking up the slight pieces of silk, rubbing their softness between his fingers, intoxicated by the scent that rose to greet him.
Where was she? His predatory instincts kicked in and he rose, turning slowly, wondering where she’d gone. What game she was playing? A laptop screen glowed in the darkness of his living room, and he walked back in the house, heading toward it. He hadn’t even noticed it on the way in, he’d been so intent on finding her on the patio.
Walking toward the screen, he stopped in his tracks. The entire room lit up. The TV and what felt like hundreds of laptop screens, though it was only two, sparked to life with images of Sage, nude and lounging on a bed.
His bed. Upstairs.
He turned in that direction, then froze when her voice commanded him to.
“Wait. If you come to me, Ian, it’s for good—it’s forever.”
Her eyes locked on his across the screen, dark and serious. His heart thudded so hard in his chest he was surprised he could even hear at all as she continued.
“I love you, Ian. If you decide to walk up those stairs, be sure it’s what you want. I want all of you, body, heart, mind and soul. Because that’s what I’m prepared to give you in return.”
Ian didn’t have to think about it. The time without her had left him starving and empty, and he wanted to go to her. He was sure that unless he was with her forever he would never completely be full. Nothing mattered more to him than being with her, and that knowledge carried him up the stairs.
When he reached the top, there was Sage. Warm, human and in the flesh, she lay before him, her eyes bright with tears, her smile brilliant. And it all was for him. She was his.
Entering the room, he found his voice.
“I’m a fool. How the hell could I have let you walk away?”
She smiled tremulously, lifting a hand to her lips as a small cry escaped. He crossed to her, tugging at his clothes and leaving them in a careless pile in the doorway. His body was hot and ready, but his heart urged him to savor every moment, to take his time and let her know everything he was feeling.
She was in his arms almost before he hit the mattress, and he wondered how he had ever thought he could live another day without her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, soaking her in.
“I love you, I love you….” He couldn’t seem to stop saying it. Those three words felt too small to express the enormous feelings that were overwhelming him. Her eyes met his as she reached up to caress his cheek with the back of her fingers in the most tender gesture he’d ever experienced.
“I love you, too. I want everything with you.”
He turned his mouth to kiss her palm, capturing a finger in his mouth and nipping her lightly, his gaze possessive and filled with love and hope.
“Even children?”
She nodded, pressing herself against him, one of her soft hands drifting down to encircle his erection as her breasts pressed enticingly against his side. He groaned, pushing into her grip as she whispered against his ear while stroking him, “We can get started on that right now if you want.”
Something flipped inside of him, and he tipped her head up so that he was looking deeply into her eyes. “You trust me that much? Even after what I told you about my marriage?” He dipped in, kissing her lightly. “After I let you walk away?”
She pouted prettily, her eyes full of mischief. “That was a mistake, granted.” Then she smiled, staring straight into his soul. “But I trust you with my life, Ian. And I trust you with our children’s lives. I know you’ll never let me down. And I’ll never let you down either. Ever.”
His voice was hoarse when he spoke, choked with emotion, but he didn’t want to hide it. “You never could. You never did. But what about your dreams? Your work, the things you’ve missed, the things you want?”
He was speaking against her skin, dragging his lips over her and starting to lose himself in the passion that encompassed both of them. Her skin was so soft, so fragrant, he couldn’t get enough.
She was breathless, too, but answered, “I can still have all of that, right? I was wrong about my mom and my sister—they just knew what made them happy. I never knew what would make me happy—really happy—until now.”
“And, darlin’, this is just the beginning,” he whispered, holding her gently as they fell back onto the soft bed.
SARAH GROWLED IN frustration, grabbing the w
arm bottle of beer that sat beside her laptop on the makeshift desk in the small apartment on East Ocean View that she’d only rented yesterday. She had AC but no refrigerator. For now, a small red cooler held a few beverages, but all the ice had melted. Creature comforts weren’t all that important to her, really, especially when she was working. She stared a hole in the computer screen. She’d almost had them—almost.
She was too tightly wound to relax, nervous about her impending stint at the police academy and pulling all-nighters tracking down a particular ring of Internet porn distributors she’d been after for a while. She wouldn’t have much free time soon enough, so she needed to throw every spare minute into this right now. She was trying to expose a large group with lots of connections; it was going to take time, she reminded herself.
And in the meantime, a hundred more rings would pop up alongside of them. They were the worst of the worst, slugs who took advantage of innocents to make money and satisfy perverse pleasures. She’d been a victim once and now she was their worst enemy—or she would be once she had the resources and training of the local police department behind her. In just six months she’d be hunting the bastards down and she would actually have the power to do something about it. She could hardly wait.
An e-mail beep distracted her from her train of thought, her dark mood lifting when she saw the e-mail was from Sage. Sarah cast a worried glance at the clock—it was the middle of the night. Why would Sage be contacting her now?
Her eyes scanned the screen quickly, looking for signs of trouble, and then she broke into a wide grin when she realized what had Sage awake in the middle of the night. Or rather, who.
To: TigerLily@npd.org
From: FreeAsABird@vpn.com
Subject: Thank you!
Sarah—
Just a quick note, Ian’s asleep. I wore him out
Just think, maybe your Mr. Right is at the police academy and you don’t even know it yet! Things are looking up.